AN: Disclaimer : I do NOT own Harry Potter!!

Chapter one

"Love. Its such a rare thing. Only some people actually achieve it, and some have had it in their grasp…only to have it slip away. I guess that's what you can say happened to me. Though I'd never admit to it, I'm so stubborn! You see my heart is something I've guarded for so long and I let the walls down just long enough for my heart to break. Though strangely enough I have no regrets. It was something I wanted desperately and someone I truly loved, and therefore there should be no shame…right? Then why is it hard for me to accept that I loved him? That he was the only thing on my mind for days on end. That my pulse would speed up erratically at the sound of his name, that my adrenaline would rush when I saw him across the room. But I cant be held completely responsible for what happened, even though I didn't say those three words he never gave me the chance. He never showed any conformation for my flirtatious behavior…"

"Lily," the voice on the other side of the phone sighed, " even though I'm happy to listen to this for the nine hundredth time I actually do have to go to work, and I'm going to say what I always say. That yes I think he liked you and maybe even loved you, but the timing was wrong and maybe, I know its hard to hear, but maybe it just wasn't meant to be." Bridget's answer didn't fully satisfy Lily but she had expected something like it.

"Thanks, I guess." Lily said, she was looking at her fingernails, this conversation was getting a bit awkward and it was quickly becoming embarrassing.

" I'm sorry Lils, you know that I don't mean to upset you but its honestly what I think. I would swear that he liked you, but shit happens and unfortunately it usually happens to nice people. Now I love you but I really got to go!"

"Ok, ok! Just do me a favor ok?"

"Anything."

"Please don't mention any of this to Sirius," Lily knew deep down that Bridget never would but she still felt the need to make her promise.

"I wont."

After Lily was reassured she got off the phone and was about to go grocery shopping when her door bell rang. She left the kitchen and opened the door. Her best friend was on the other side.

"Hey!" she couldn't help but smile every time she saw him.

"Hey!" James returned the smile and came in without invitation. His eyes searched the room before settling back on her.

She closed the door, " So…what's up?"

"Nothing really, just on my lunch break so I thought I'd stop by." He sat down on the couch.

Lily sat in a chair diagonally from him, "Oh, has it been hectic today?"

James was an auror; he worked with Lily, but she had the day off today, " Nah, the same as always."

"That's good I guess." Lily laughed.

James shrugged, "I don't know, I wish something exciting would happen."

"See that's where we differ, I don't mind routine, I actually prefer it."

"I think you might be in the wrong profession then." James laughed.

Lily laughed with him, " No, I don't think so. I love my job, I like protecting people. I like reward that I get after we catch someone."

James nodded, " Me too."

"So how's the Mrs. ?" Lily said as she gathered her hair over to one side and ran her hands through it.

"Good. She's doing fine, she's working today too." James said staring at his left hand.

"Is the hospital busy?" which was a stupid question and she mentally slapped herself for asking it.

"I don't know. I haven't talked to her today."

Lily simply nodded. She hated his wife Miranda. They'd never been friends and Lily accepted that they never will be." Well, you want something to eat?"

"Yeah." he answered.

"Well, " Lily started to get up, " I don't have any food here. I was getting ready to go to the store when you came."

James stood up, "We could just grab something and then I'll go back to work and you can go do what you need to do."

"Ok," Lily sighed as she stood up, " let me go get my purse."