-1KAREN:

It started off subtle. A smile in the hallway, a light for her cigarette. A touch of the hand as we passed. It soon would explode into something I couldn't even imagine. Something none of us ever could have expected. A full-blown romance. An unwavering love that would carry me through some of the toughest times of my life. No one knew about it, of course. No one could know…

I had just had a very long night out. I was hung over and strung out. I came to work and sat in my desk, shaking slightly and in a horrible mood. I didn't want to be there. I should have stayed home. I'm always there on days I shouldn't be and not there on days when I'm more than okay to be. It was a spring day. One of those spring days when you can smell in the air that summer is just around the corner. A perfect day. It wasn't perfect for me, though. Not at all perfect.

Grace came in and said "hello," to me and I turned for the bathroom and threw up. I made it just in time. She followed me in to make sure I was okay. I motioned her off with my hand. I slumped down on the ground and hated myself.

Fifteen minutes later I came out. She looked up from her desk with sympathetic eyes and told me it was okay to go home, if I thought I should. I told her I felt better now, but I rested my head on my desk. I heard her stop working. I could feel her coming closer to me. She knelt down next to my desk and I looked up. "Karen, I can tell your coming off of something. I might not do drugs, but I understand how they work." I must've heard this speech a million times. Its definitely not going to change anything this time. I'm going to go out and do the same damn thing tonight. "They suck your soul out of you. I haven't seen you smile in weeks. Not a real smile anyways. It used to be recreational, but this isn't recreational anymore. You're not doing it for fun, you're doing it because you have to. Because you're addicted."

That was enough of that. Who was she? I mean, I know she was just trying to help, but it wasn't a problem yet. Sure, I was addicted, but it didn't really interfere with anything. So what, I barfed at work? If I hadn't been on the drugs I might not have come in at all. She should just get back to fluffing pillows.

I didn't say anything back to her and she got the hint that today wasn't the day for her D.A.R.E speech so she went back to working.

A few minutes later Will walked in. "Hey Grace, how are you?" She kissed him delightfully on the side of his mouth. They talked but I could hardly hear a word they were saying. I was getting way too low. When Grace was distracted I went into the bathroom and took out a little piece of tin foil I had neatly folded in my purse. I tried to be quiet. I lit it underneath and inhaled the smoke the powder gave off. I instantly felt better. I didn't even care if they smelled the smoke. I needed it. It was too late I already remembered I had it in my purse and I wanted it way too much to stop.

I must've been in there some time because Will was gone when I came out. I felt confident, alert, and indestructible. "Hey Grace, so what was Will in here for? Is he okay? Are you guys going out to lunch today or are you guys doing something else that oh am I talking too much I'll just sit down, do you want me to file anything?" I didn't realize I had said that a mile a minute. She just put her head down and said, "It seems as though you're feeling much better."

GRACE:

She gave me more than I ever asked for. More than I ever really thought I needed. But I wanted it, deep down I'd always wanted it. I was just too afraid to ask. You see I didn't love her, she didn't love me. That's not the love that was mentioned earlier. It was a completely different kind of love. The kind people warn you about. The kind that kills.

Karen had come in to work hung over, as usual. I tried to talk to her just a little about how horrible things were getting. About how she was hardly her anymore. But she didn't buy it. I don't even think I bought it. I just knew it was bad for her and I hated seeing her miserable. I always cared about Karen more than she thought I did. When Will showed up I noticed her leave to the bathroom. I always notice even if she thinks that I don't. I always notice. When she came back talking up a storm it just confirmed my fear. That and the fact I swore I saw a little smoke. Why did she do it? I mean, I could tell she was flying high and maybe that was the only reason, but why did she turn to drugs in the first place? What was so miserable about her life that she needed something else to make herself feel better.

She always told me, (jokingly of course,) "don't knock it until you've tried it." She of course never intended for me to try it. She, more than any of those who begged her to stop, knew how horrible it was. It was like a vine that wraps around your soul, constricting any happy thought or smile.

What inspired me to do what I did next, I'll never know. It was just an impulse. She was so high she left her purse. She had two pieces of tinfoil. One that she had just used and then one she had planned to use for later. I took it out. This couldn't be too complicated. You just hold the lighter under the thing and inhale the smoke, right? Yeah, that must be it.

Five minutes later I felt ten times better than I think I've ever felt. I'd been drunk before, I'd even smoked pot. This was nothing like any of that. This was heaven.

She must've realized what she'd left and with all her energy she had come back. Her glossy eyes now resembled mine. I walked up to her with new found confidence. "Are you cranked out?" she asked. I just nodded. This was unreal. Me? On drugs? I was actually kind of proud of myself. I was a bad ass.

She seemed like it bothered her a bit but she was too high to do anything about it right now. Then I did something I never saw coming. I walked to her closely and I kissed her. There had always been something manifesting between us. The drugs made it explode. I touched her stomach. I touched the her bare back. Skin had never felt so soft. She didn't even begin to stop me, in fact, she was touching me back.