A/N- So, this first chapter is more an introduction than anything else. Later chapters will be longer. I hope you enjoy this new twist on himym.
In a bar called Maclaren's, a man named Ted Mosby sits in a booth across from his college roommate Marshall, and his wife Lily. Every day the three of them sit down and have a drink together, often accompanied by the news reporter Robin Scherbatsky, and the womanizing Barney Stinson. If you walked into this bar at any given time, day or night, you would likely find one of these 5 friends inside.
At the moment, Marshall and Lily were teaming up on Ted in a very heated argument.
"No!" Ted retorts, "George Washington couldn't possibly beat Abraham Lincoln arm wrestling. The guy had wooden teeth, suggests that he had sort of major calcium deficiency, which means his bone would snap when he arm wrestled against the calcium full bones of Abe Lincoln."
"Ted, if his muscle was large enough the calcium deficiency would have zero effect!" Marshall snaps back.
"Not to mention that Abe was lean and lanky," Lily added in support of her spouse, "if anyone's bone was snapping, I can assure you it wouldn't be Georges."
"Oh please," Ted spat back, "You cannot be supporting George Washington on this!"
"Why not?" Marshall crosses his arms.
Ted struggles for words and then finds the come back, "I mean, Abraham Lincoln was taller than Washington!"
"Oh?" Marshall replies. "So if one is taller than another, that automatically means that person will win."
"That is exactly correct." Ted replies flatly.
"Well," Marshall says coolly. "That settles all this, because I am taller than you. I win, you lose." Marshall whoops loudly, and high fives Lily with joy. They take a synchronized swig of beer. "Lawyered," Marshall says to the seething Ted.
Ted holds up his finger, looking ready to fight back when a bonde haired suit wearing disaster joins the party. His face is red and sweaty as though he had just run a marathon and his eyes are red around the edges. Ted is too angry to notice, but the nurturing Lily is not.
" Barney, do I want to know what you have been doing all day to look like this train wreck?" She asks. It was a justified response, given Barney's reputation of participating in activities considered by many to be described as vulgar, unearthly, and gross.
Out of breath, he looks at Lily straight in the eye and shakes his head. He looks faint, his pale face more flush than regular.
"Hey, you wanna sit down?" Ted asks, finally taking notice to his friend's condition.
Without a word, Barney takes a seat next to Ted, props his elbows on the table and buries his face in his hands. It was extremely unlike Barney to be anything but psyched and looking for a thrill.
Lily, Marshall and Ted exchange glances, all wondering what to do. The recent argument swept past as the curiosity of what caused Barney's peculiar mood flew in.
"I'll go get you a beer," Ted says, but Barney just moans, and grabs Ted's arm when he tries to leave.
"No." He grumbles.
Ted slowly sits back down, confused, and Barney resumes his previous position. "Okay," Ted says. "You want to tell us what's wrong?"
A smile creeps on Lily's face. "I got it." She says when Barney neglects to answer. "He doesn't want to talk or have any alcohol. He must have a hangover." Relief floods through Ted and Marshall, as they realize that Lily must be right.
But Barney looks up finally and says, "A hangover would be less painful." He squeezes his eyes shut and wipes his hand over his face. "Guys," He opens his eyes. "I have some really bad news."
Having never seen Barney in such a state as this before, everyone new that this was either a well executed prank, or most certainly true.
"Robin's dead," Barney says.