Tara Knowles Teller stood in a huddle with the entirety of the SAMCRO family, waiting for it to happen. What, she wasn't sure, but judging by the look on her husband's face as he started screaming for everyone to vacate the premises, something awful was about to happen inside the clubhouse that had served as the Teller family's second home for decades. She watched anxiously for Jax and Abel to emerge from the doomed building, trying to ignore the panicked voice that was shrieking inside her head. Every fiber of her being ached to go in after them, to save them, or to at least be with them when "it" happened.
Only the frightened, wiggly baby that clung tightly to her chest kept her tethered to the patch of pavement on which she was standing. She had to keep Thomas safe. And she had to trust that Jax would keep Abel safe. Unfortunately, though, trusting Jax wasn't exactly her strong suit as of late. He'd allowed so much to happen to their family already, so much to stop him from keeping the promise he'd made Tara to leave the MC behind. She'd put her blind faith in him for years, and what had it gotten her? Charged with being an accessory to murder, facing a lengthy prison term, that's what.
She'd been so conflicted since putting her plan to get the boys out of Charming with or without her in motion. She'd waivered more times than she could count, doubted herself, hated herself. But standing in that cold, dark parking lot, fearing for her life and the lives of her children and her husband- she knew she was on the right path. Even if it broke her heart, even if it killed her, she had to go through with it. She was sure of that now.
She could hear Gemma panicking somewhere behind her, screaming for Jax and Abel. She'd never wanted anything more than to sock the bitch dead in her mouth. "Isn't this what you wanted, Gemma? Jax and the boys here in Charming with you? Isn't this what's best for them?"
With each passing second, Tara's fear grew, manifesting itself physically. It was the lump in her throat, the knot in her stomach, and the thousand tiny needles on her skin. She couldn't take it any longer. She had to find the rest of her family. She scanned the crowd for someone she could pass Thomas to, someone she trusted to keep him safe. Anyone but Gemma. She jumped when a hand grabbed her shoulder.
"Babe," Jax panted, his voice rough. He was standing in front of her, Abel in his arms, his skin glistening with sweat and his eyes wide with fear.
"Oh, thank God," Tara cried, wrapping her free arm around her husband and her oldest son. It wasn't until Jax's skin was pressed against hers, his breath hot on her neck, his hand on her waist, pulling her and Thomas closer, that she regretted her impulsive decision to hug him. It had been so long since she'd welcomed his touch, since she'd craved it. To be able to do what she was doing, she had to turn that part of her brain off- the part that needed and wanted Jax. But standing there, all three of her boys in her arms, she felt whole for the first time in forever. As much as she didn't want it to, it felt right. "Jax, what is going on?" she whispered into his ear. He pulled away from her, his scared eyes meeting hers.
"The Irish," he said. "They- wait, what time is it?"
Tara looked at her watch. "8:04. Why?" Jax turned to Chibs, who was standing beside him. They exchanged confused glances. "Jax?"
"I don't know," he admitted, his brow furrowed in contemplative thought. "I thought-"
"Daddy!" Abel shrieked.
Goosebumps sprung up on Tara's arms. "What is it baby? What's wrong?" she asked. Jax instinctively shielded his family with his body, his eyes darting wildly across the parking lot, looking for the danger lurking in the shadows.
"Mr. Toad!" Abel whined sleepily, pointing to the clubhouse. "I forgot Mr. Toad!"
"Oh, honey," Tara sighed, relieved. "Mr. Toad is just fine. I'm sure he's still safe in bed sleeping, right where you left him. We can go back in and get him in a little bit. Right, Daddy?" She looked at Jax, curious.
"Absolutely." Jax agreed. "Just uhh…give me and Uncle Chibs a minute to talk, alright? Then we'll go get Mr. Toad." Abel nodded, sticking out his lower lip to make sure everyone knew he wasn't happy about it. Jax shifted his son from one arm to the other.
"I want down," Abel protested. Jax looked at him, torn. He needed to talk to Chibs in private, but wanted to keep Abel close.
"Why don't we go find Grandma?" Jax suggested.
"I got him," Tara interrupted. She didn't want her nightmare mother-in-law anywhere near her boys.
"You sure?"
"Positive." Jax put Abel down, kissing him on the forehead. Abel ran to his mother and wrapped his arms tightly around her leg. She used her free hand to caress his soft blonde hair. Jax kissed Tara on the cheek, offering her a silent 'thank you'. She smiled slightly as he turned his back and stepped away from the crowd with Chibs.
"The hell is going on?" Gemma complained, approaching Tara with outstretched arms. "Give me my grandson," she insisted, motioning to Thomas. In all the years Tara had known Gemma, the SAMCRO queen's gall never ceased to amaze her.
"No," Tara said plainly. "He's my son. I've got him. Why don't you go help Lyla with her kids? Or one of these needy bitches that can't handle their shit? We don't need you, Gemma. I don't need you." She stared the old woman down defiantly, not giving away the slightest clue that she was intimidated by her rival, or that it broke her heart how the woman she'd once loved as a mother figure had now become her enemy.
"You got some nerve," Gemma sneered, all attitude and implied threats. "Who do you think you-"
"Abel!" Jax's scream halted all conversation. Tara's gaze, which had been locked on Gemma, shifted to a small figure running across the Teller Morrow parking lot, back toward the clubhouse- after Mr. Toad, no doubt. Her heart dropped. She hadn't even felt him let go of her leg. Jax started to go after him, but someone else beat him to it.
"I got him, 'mano!" Nero called. He was closer to Abel , and would get to him sooner. Gemma's beau trotted after the little boy, who had been frozen in place since his father yelled at him. Tara's pulse slowed back down as she watched Nero scoop Abel into his arms and tickle his belly while he gently scolded him for running off.
At first, she didn't register what was happening as the ground began to shake below her and a bright light appeared from behind Nero and Abel. It all happened in slow motion, the light growing brighter, the heat hitting her face as chunks of debris flew through the air. She didn't hear the explosion, but the ringing in hear ears assured her that she felt it.
She tried to lunge for Abel, but a heavy weight came crashing down on her before she could act. Her knees buckled. Just before she hit the pavement, she had the forethought to shield Thomas' head from impact. She could see his tiny face, mere inches from hers, terrified and crying as someone (some thing?) pinned them to the ground.
"It's okay, baby," she cried. She couldn't hear the sound of her own voice over the pounding in her head. Every time she tried to take a breath, she felt fire in her lungs. With trembling hands, Tara covered Thomas' face, hoping to shield him from the smoke and flames for as long as possible. She felt herself slipping away, losing consciousness. It was hot- too hot. She couldn't move. Couldn't breathe. Couldn't hear. Couldn't feel anything other than pain. This was it. She closed her eyes and prayed to a God she wasn't entirely sure she believed in.
Jax buried his face in Tara's hair as debris and flaming embers rained upon him. He'd had only a second to react once the clubhouse exploded, so he threw himself onto Tara and Thomas in an effort to protect them. He could feel Thomas struggling and fussing beneath him, but Tara's body was limp. Jax hoped she hadn't hit her head too hard. He coughed and choked as he tried to create a barrier between his family and the danger that surrounded them. For a brief moment, it felt as if the fire would overtake them all. The flames licked at their skin and smoke filled their lungs as the heat became unbearable. But just as quickly as the sky filled with fire, it began to clear. The explosion retreated, containing itself to the clubhouse, which was now no more than a debris pile full of history.
Jax pulled himself to his knees, lifting Thomas from the ground. He had never been so happy to see his son cry. The louder Thomas wailed, the more confident Jax was that he was okay. Tara, however, didn't move.
"Jackie," Chibs called, crawling toward the Teller family. "You alright?" Jax handed Thomas over to his Vice President and closest friend without a word, his eyes fixed on his motionless wife.
"Tara?" Jax pulled her into his lap, cradling her head in his hands. "Babe?" He shook her gently. After what felt like an eternity, but was likely only seconds, Tara's eyelids began to flutter. "Babe!" Jax shifted her into a sitting position, hugging her tightly. She coughed and gasped for air, her eyes flying open.
"Abel…" she croaked. Jax's stomach lurched. He turned back toward the clubhouse, which was completely engulfed in giant, beautiful flames. Through the smoke, he saw something lying on the ground, halfway between the clubhouse and the crowd. He prayed it was debris, but its shape was too humanlike for that to be true.
"Abel!" he yelled, scrambling to his feet. Still too weak to move, Tara leaned against Chibs as she watched helplessly. Jax could see the blood pooling on the ground beside the lifeless heap as he approached. The flames, which crackled and popped nearby, threatened to consume the ground on which he was standing, but still he moved closer. "Abel!" His voice was barely a whisper as he struggled to speak through the lump in his throat.
Nero Padilla was laying face down, his eyes open, a mortal wound spilling blood from the side of his head. Under him, somewhere, had to be Abel. Jax began to cry. "Oh God!" His fear tried its best to freeze him in place, to protect his heart from what he was about to see, but another force, a much more primal one, propelled him forward. "I'm so sorry," he whispered as he rolled Nero's dead body onto its side. He found Abel curled up in the fetal position, covered in blood, his eyes closed. "Please, please, please, please, please," Jax begged as he reached for his little boy, tears rolling down his soot-stained cheeks.
"Daddy?" Abel's eyes opened and he reached for his father with small, blood stained hands. Jax let out a relieved, ragged breath.
"Come here," he whispered. Abel crawled into his lap. "Are you okay?" Abel nodded.
"Is Nero dead?" Abel asked, his voice full of sadness. There was no sugar coating this. Abel was covered in the man's blood and had been shielded from harm by his dead body.
"Yeah, buddy. He is." Jax squeezed his son tight as they both wept. Inside the clubhouse, there was another small explosion, probably the gas oven or furnace. Jax knew he had to move, create more of a buffer between them and the fire, but he had absolutely no strength left in his body.
"Abel!" came a familiar voice. "Baby?" In an instant, Tara was on the ground beside her husband and son, one arm around each of them. "Sweetie, are you okay?" The doctor in her wanted to examine Abel from head to toe, but the mother in her just wanted to hold him.
"He's fine," Jax said.
"But the blood-"
"It's not his." Tara followed Jax's gaze to where Nero's body rested. She gasped in horror.
"Jax, I'm so sorry, I-"
"Jackson! Abel!" The voice was unmistakable as it rang out in the darkness, but any bit of doubt was removed by the sound of Gemma's black boots clicking against the pavement as she ran.
"They're fine, Gemma," Tara called out to her mother-in-law, hoping she would hang back. Tara knew better. Gemma draped herself over her son and her grandson, muttering some unintelligible prayer.
"Who's hurt? What's wrong? Who's bleeding?" she rambled.
"They're fine," Tara repeated.
"Mom," Jax lamented. "Mom, I'm so sorry." She looked at him, confused, then followed the pool of blood to its source. Her eyes wide, she fell to her knees.
"No," she whispered. "No, no, no, no!" She repeated the word over and over as she crawled toward her lover. "Baby, no." She rolled Nero's body over so that his head was in her lap. She caressed his bloody face as she cried. Tara reached for Abel, offering Jax a knowing look. He nodded and handed their son to her.
"Come on, baby," she said, pretending not to be horrified by the fact that her preschooler was covered in a dead man's blood. "Let's go find your brother." She squeezed Jax's shoulder and gave him a sympathetic smile before returning to the rest of the crowd.
Jax watched his mother as she sobbed. He had no idea how to comfort her, but he had to try. "Mom." He approached her from behind, wrapping one arm around her shaking shoulders. "I'm so sorry. Nero was a good man." Jax's voice caught on his words. Nero wasn't just a good man, he was one of the best men Jax had ever known. Jax often wondered how differently things might have turned out had Gemma and Nero found each other earlier in life, before everything got so fucked up.
He reached out with a shaking hand, fighting back tears, and gently closed Nero's eyes. He thought about a recent conversation they'd had, when he was trying to convince Nero to leave the life behind and go buy the farm he was always talking about. Nero's words haunted him. "I'll make you a deal. You walk away, I'll walk away." They'd both been so close. And now here they were.
"I'm sorry, brother," Jax said, a lone tear falling from his eye as he squeezed Nero's lifeless hand. "You go find that farm." He stood although his legs were weak, and encouraged Gemma to do the same. "C'mon, Mom." The fire trucks were pulling into the parking lot, and would soon be dousing the flames that danced just feet from them.
Tara sat in her car, which had been untouched by debris, watching the firefighters battle the ever dwindling blaze. Thomas and Abel were asleep in the back seat. She'd used the entire box of wipes in Thomas' diaper bag to clean Abel up as best she could, and was thankful for the spare set of clothes she always kept on hand for both boys. Gemma was seated at a nearby picnic table, being consoled by a bevy of crow eaters. The coroner had just left with Nero's body. The police were mulling about, taking statements. Aside from a few scrapes and bruises, everyone was whole. Everyone except Nero. Tara would be forever grateful to the man who'd saved her son's life, sacrificing his own in the process. She would make sure that, no matter what the future held, Nero's son was always looked after and cared for.
Jax was huddled in a corner with his crew, no doubt talking club business. Tara had already been questioned and was free to go. She'd hoped to be able to wait for Jax, but she needed to get the boys home. She climbed out of the car, her entire body aching as she stretched. She tried to ignore Gemma as she passed her on her way to Jax, but something stopped her. As much as she respected Nero and was sorry for what had happened to him, she couldn't pass up the chance to make a point to Gemma, the same point she'd been trying to make for nearly a year- that this life was too dangerous, too violent to raise children in.
"I'm sorry about Nero," Tara offered as she approached the Queen Bee in her nest. The worker bees scattered, leaving the two of them alone. Gemma glared at her. Tara cleared her throat. "You know Gemma," she taunted. "You better be careful. First JT's untimely death, then Clay's tragic downfall, now this. Looks like karma's catching up with you. Black Widow." She could see in Gemma's eyes that those last two words stung every bit as much as she intended for them to. Satisfied, she continued making her way to Jax.
Not wanting to overhear something that wasn't meant for her ears, she stopped a short distance away from him and called his name. The conversation ceased, and he smiled wearily as he approached her.
"Everything alright?" he asked.
"It's fine. I just need to get the boys home, Jax. It's late." Jax looked back at his guys, then at Tara. Something seemed to be weighing very heavily on him, aside from the obvious.
"I'm coming with you," he insisted. "I'll see you guys later," he called over his shoulder. Surprised, Tara allowed Jax to lead her toward her car, his hand on the small of her back. Nearby, Lieutenant Roosevelt and D.A. Patterson were engaged in what looked to be a very intense conversation. Jax steered Tara toward them. They stopped talking as the Tellers approached.
"Mr. Teller, Mrs. Teller." Patterson greeted them as if they were casual acquaintances. Eli offered Tara a weary, sympathetic smile.
"I'm only gonna offer this one time," Jax began, his voice somber but determined. "You drop the charges against Tara and get me and my family into Witness Protection, tomorrow, and I'll give you everything you need to take down the Irish Kings." Tara, Eli, and the D.A. all stared at Jax in stunned silence. "Think quick, because by tomorrow morning, I may change my mind."
"You're serious?" D.A. Patterson asked, her tone guarded. Jax nodded. "I'll make some calls first thing in the morning, then." She tried to keep the smile from her face, but her eyes danced with excitement.
"We'll wait for your call," Jax said. He linked his fingers through Tara's and headed for the car.
"Jax," she whispered. "What are you doing?"
"What I should have done a long time ago," he told her. "Now let's go home. Something tells me we should probably start packing."