Well I'm back with an unplanned one-shot. Well, I hope you enjoy it and don't find it too confusing. If you do, PM me or something. Anywhoo, on with the story.
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail does not belong to me.
Bittersweet Promise
"I love you," she says slowly, and Natsu swears that his heart has just skipped a few beats.
The battle has just been won and she looks beaten and worse for the wear, but in that moment, Lucy is the most beautiful woman in the world to him. He is ecstatic because the woman he loves most in the world reciprocates his feelings, but at the same time he feels ashamed that he allowed her to go ahead and confess her feelings to him first. Natsu's heart swells with emotion for this girl, and desperately he embraces her. "Stay with me, no matter what," he pleads into her hair.
"I promise," she whispers softly in response, tears running down her cheeks. She smiles up at him as she adds, "I always want to stay with you." It is but a fleeting, bittersweet moment, and he idly wonders how long it will last. Because her eyes are closing, and to him it looks as though it will end right after it has only begun.
"Natsu, we need to talk." The moon is high in the sky that first night when she comes to him.
"You're kidding me, right?" He laughs nervously after hearing her say that she wants to leave.
Her eyes reflect the seriousness of which she speaks. "I'm sorry, but it was a mistake." She shakes her head. "This isn't going to work, you know that. This promise... I can't keep it, you know? Let's end this. Before we both regret it... or before we both get hurt, or, end up hurting worse."
His eyes widen in surprise. "What, you're worried that you can't keep your promise to me?" He waves her words off nonchalantly. "I believe in you, Lucy. I trust you." He grins his trademark grin. "You won't let me down."
A small, sad smile forms on her own face. She is being selfish, she knows, but she wants to keep him with her. Even though she won't be keeping her promises. Even if she knows that she's only leading him on. At least she won't be lonely and she'll always have him to come back to. A small feeling of self-loathing wells up inside of her but she pushes it away and forces a wider smile. "Then forget I said anything, Natsu." She opens her arms wide and they embrace, falling back onto the bed.
He isn't expecting to awaken the next morning completely alone.
He crosses his arms, impatiently waiting for her. He is angry now. He is upset, because things aren't going the way he originally had planned. Natsu wants to be with Lucy all the time during the day, but for some reason, she is pulling away from him and he can't understand why. It hasn't even been a week since they promised to stay together and Natsu is already wondering why Lucy had to start lying to him. Finally, fed up, he flops down on the bed and faces the wall. Suddenly, he feels her slender arms wrap around his frame and he pushes her away this time. "So where have you been all this time," he scoffs. "Or don't tell me you're one of those girls."
She flinches at the accusation. "I'm sorry," comes her reply, "but you've been shutting me out. What else could I do?"
"Don't give me that. Lucy, you promised. You said you wanted to be with me all the time. So then where the hell have you been? You avoid me like the plague all day, and then try sneaking in when you think I'm sleeping. Do you want to be in this with me or not?" He snaps at her. He hears a rustling behind him and he turns in time to see her putting her jacket on. "What are you doing?" He jumps up out of the bed to follow her.
There are tears in her eyes as she answers him. "I'm doing what I should have done in the beginning. I'm ending this. I love you, but we can't keep doing this to each other."
"No, Lucy, don't go. We can fix this." His arms are around her. "I'm sorry, I don't want to fight with you. I'm angry, but I know you're not doing this on purpose, right?" When she is silent, he continues. "I know it's been rough, but I believe in us. There's always tomorrow. We can spend tomorrow together, right? Right?" His voice is pleading now.
"Yes..." Her voice is full of uncertainty as she lies to him, once again telling him only what he wants to hear from her. "There is always tomorrow..."
"Come to bed, then." He has missed the hesitation in her voice, hearing only what he wants to. He sits down on the bed and pats the spot next to her with a lopsided smirk.
She laughs, tears rolling down her cheeks as she takes her jacket off and plops down beside him. Before long, they are kissing passionately, wildly throwing the sheets off the carefully-made bed.
When morning comes, to his disappointment he notices that she has left him alone yet again.
He is leaning against the head board of the bed the next time she comes to see him. A pained expression is on her face because she knows how much he is suffering because of her, and she can do no more than apologize to him for it. "I'm sorry, Natsu... so sorry..."
"It's fine." His eyes are shining, a conflict of hope and dread mixing within their onyx depths, swirling in a storm of emotions threatening to spill over. He greedily grasps her hand and pulls her toward him. "It'll be fine. It'll be okay if you just stay with me. I'll forgive everything. Just stay with me. Don't leave. Don't lie. Stay."
She sobs, not knowing what to do. Breaking down, she cries into his arms. "Natsu... Natsu... I'm tired... I can't lie anymore... I can't do this to you anymore! You know this has to end..."
"No, no, it doesn't have to. Just stop leaving me all the damn time!"
Her heart wrenches as she watches him fall apart in front of her, and against everything she believes and stands for, she forces a weak smile and lies to him, promising him something that she cannot deliver.
He wakes up the next morning alone and something dies within him.
The next night she visits him and he is slouched against the wall. Worry is etched on her face and her eyes shine with unshed tears. "Natsu?" She reaches out to hold him but he is oddly cold.
His eyes meet with hers and she can see how dull they've become with the anguish she has put him through. "Why are you here?" He asks tiredly. "Happy, Gray, Erza... They've all told me to let it go, ya know? They say that this isn't good for me. I think they're right."
She finds that she can no longer look him in the eye and drops her gaze down. "I don't know why I'm here, to be honest," she murmurs. "But I think they're right. They're our friends, after all. You should forget about me. I'm really," her eyes tear up, "no good for you. This was a mistake." She hugs herself and the tears begin spilling down her cheeks. "I was so selfish. I'm sorry."
For the first time, he makes no moves to comfort her. "Just knock it off. You know I can't forgive you. Just get out. It's over between us." He gives a humorless laugh. "Hell, it was over before it even began."
She nods and turns to go. Before she leaves, she pauses. "Natsu, are we still friends?"
"Friends... yeah. We'll always be friends, Lucy."
Her heart feels as though it is shattering to pieces and she is slowly dying inside. She wonders if this was how she has been making Natsu feel this past week. "I never meant to hurt you. I really did love you." But she knows that it's her time to leave and the damage has been done. Her time for being selfish is over, and if she truly loves Natsu, she knows that she has to set him free. "Then please, be happy for your friend, okay?" Her voice breaks as she turns and runs out the door, knowing that this time Natsu won't be there to stop her. She tells herself that this is for the better.
"I love you. Forever and ever." Natsu's reply is lost to her, as Lucy has already disappeared into the night.
It is the morning after Natsu decides to end it. He wakes up to a bright and happy day but feels anything but cheery. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and it is a beautiful day. He heads to the guild as always and takes a seat at an empty table, sulking.
Wordlessly, Happy, Erza and Gray sit down beside him. Finally, the red-headed woman speaks. "We can't put this off forever. Master says that it has to be today. I'm sorry, Natsu," she puts a comforting hand on his shoulder. "But we have to go and see her."
"I'm not going. I can't forgive her." His voice is cold, void of any emotion.
"If you don't go now, you'll regret it for the rest of your life," Gray says, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him to his feet with the help of Happy.
"Whatever." Natsu doesn't fight it, not having the willpower. He simply allows himself to be pulled along.
They drag Natsu to a tiny chapel, where he sits in the back pew sullenly. Afterward, everyone heads outside for the final part of the ceremony and Natsu numbly follows. He dares to steal a glance at her and immediately regrets it. She is beautiful, dressed in the frilly white gown, flowers of all colors strewn around her. And then the decorated lid closes over her, never to be opened again...
Natsu falls to his knees. "You promised! You promised that you'd be with me all the time! Why did you have to leave? Why did you have to break your promise!?" He wails like a little lost child, letting out his pain through his tears this one time, not caring who is watching. He feels those phantom arms encircle him once more, and everything else around him vanishes. "L-Lucy..."
Her voice whispers into his ears. "I'm sorry, but I've been right here with you. I've been here this whole time, but you shut me out." Her hand rests over his heart. "Right here is where I am, and where I'll always be. I'll be waiting for you and watching. So please, be happy so I can always see your smile, okay? You know that's what I love most about you."
"Lucy... I'm sorry," he sobs. "I shouldn't blame you when it's my fault... I didn't protect you..."
She reaches up a hand to cup his cheek, and she leans in to kiss him. "You've always protected me. You never let me down, not once. And now it's my turn to watch over you. I promise to wait for you... do you believe in me?"
He grins that lopsided cocky grin that she loves, just for her. "Of course I believe in you. You're my Lucy, and you've never broken a promise to me yet, have you?"
She smiles, a happy tear rolling down her cheek and dripping onto his hand, and just like that she is gone and everything reappears around him.
The pain is still there, but he finds the strength to stand. He knows that it is going to be lonely, but he knows that he is going to be all right, because Lucy will wait for him. Natsu is going to be strong and keep fighting because he knows that she will be cheering for him. And most of all, Natsu is going to smile, so Lucy can keep smiling too.
Author's note: So... how was it? This idea popped into my head one day and wouldn't leave me alone.
Because of confusion from a review someone was nice enough to give to me, I'm adding an outline of this story to these notes. Yes, Lucy is dead.
The story begins with her dying, and confessing her feelings as she does. Natsu begs her to stay with him because he knows she is dying. She promises to stay, even though she can't. And in each day after her death, he faces another stage of grief, as her spirit tries to comfort him in his dreams. Until finally, he breaks and is ready to give up. The story ends with him going to her funeral to say his goodbyes, and realizing that Lucy will always be with him in spirit, and she'll be in his heart.
This story kind of loosely follows the feelings of someone dealing with the 5 stages of grief. Natsu is first shown in denial, then getting angry and trying to bargain. Then sinking into depression before finally accepting and letting her go. I kind of thought it would be interesting if I wrote it to look like they were having relationship troubles. I hate that I did this to my favorite couple but, well, I've been in a real tragic mood for the past few weeks. I'm working on a multi-chapter fic that is also going to be tragedy. Jeez, I'm so mean to those two... in good news I'm also coming up with an outline for the fluffy drabble series that will be a sequel to Nine Months so... that's good at least, ne? I guess let me know how you liked it. Review, PM, whatever comes to mind. Anyway, laters~ hallie