Why I am doing this? Because no one else will.
New Orleans: the grandiose American city of Jazz! The birth place a jazz! It filled the lofty streets- as did the jazz people. Such wonderful citizens American are, so lighthearted and busy with music and dancing! I was meant to live in this marvelous city- filled with musicians and chic women. New Orleans was a perfectly happy place with happy, beautiful people which lead me to think of the wealthy Bouff. How Mr. La Bouff mention has a grown-up but not prehistorically old daughter. Pretty women were abundant enough here so worrying about whether Ms. La Bouff was unattractive didn't linger.
Lawrence found me eventually and began yapping. Trying to squish the fun with 'realism'. The silly Fat Man wasn't wrong about my lack of fortune. My fate was either marry into wealth or, chuckle, get a 'job'. Of all the humorous things Lawrence does, suggesting I get a job is the most hilarious. No, no, Lawrence 'getting into the music' is much funnier. HAHAHAHAHA! Bless his artery-clogged little heart.
Dark shadow looms over, companied with tall slender gentlemen in black top hat and cane. A doctor of black magic; palm reading, charms, potions? Dressed in charm this couldn't be as evil as the skulls implied. Lawrence didn't see the intrigue, of course, accused the charming doctor of being a charlatan. The bewitching doctor was rightfully offended and invited us in. The door slowly opened by its self- the doctor was mesmerizing. His shop was dark yet hypnotic with puppets and other funny dolls. The tarot readings were very accurate and promised me all the wealth I once had. I was destined for riches again; my perfect lifestyle would stay perfect. Poor Lawrence would never know how to be as happy. I wasn't surprised, not everyone could be a charming, devastatingly handsome prince.
The scene shifted, Lawrence looked excited (very unnerving) as did the Doctor. The masks started smiling; the doctor's cane conjured a giant purple horned mask. Serpents came from behind the chair coiling around me, bonding me tightly. The Doctor's face became a skeleton, and colors started to whoosh around the shop. Fear and panic? Yes, they were easily seen coming. A thin hand grabbed my wrists then a sharp bite on my finger. That finger turned green, the whooshing green spread to my arm. My limbs were squeezing, compressing really inside myself until there was no self to be squeezed. The wicked Doctor's deep, gravelly voice said to not blame him. To blame his friends on the other side….
Not enough air. I was still being compressed, gasping for breath. Numbing feeling around the small, smooth room I was in. the walls felt like glass. Feeling painfully dizzy I started banging against the glass. A delicious, small flow of air came from the top. I went towards the top and the roof came off. I was in a bigger room then saw a crack of light. I pushed open the doors to see a room that was far too big. I looked down, it seemed like two stories but saw the knobs and realized it was in a cabinet. Realized my hands were green and small…my torso unimpressively unbuilt and green… legs twice as long and green…hairless head slimey and mouth larger than my beautiful face required….AHH! the doctor turned me ugly and deformed! While in panic I fell from the cabinet. It hurt but the self-disgust had me twitching. Hysterical mumbling in a fetal position then a nice slap in the face by myself. Five or so minutes of calming breathing, I decided to find a mirror to see the damage. Everything was huge; so I was a small, slimly, green creature with long legs and rubbery skin…..like a frog…..hyperventilating occurs again for a respectable eight minutes. Well, it is not slime, it is just secreting mucus. I hopped on to the opened window ceil. The long jumps were impressive, that's something. Looking outside the window I saw it was night, looking into the window's glass I saw my frog-self. At least I was still a great looking frog…but that couldn't beat my fabulous human face.
Curse that charismatic witch-doctor! If I had my human hands I'd command the Madlonian army to trample him! Thinking of revenge I heard dull ball room music. Looked toward the east to see a large, glamorous mansion with lanterns. A party? Probably the ball of Mr. La Bouff. People who are coexistent with evil magic!
Hopping away from the large party goers who could unwittingly stomp on a cursed Prince, I went towards the shadowy backside of the house. There was the slightest sound of singing. Interested , I jumped on the window ceils of each floor until I saw a balcony to the right. There was a girl.
The girl was in a blue dress that clung to her slender, still nicely curved, umber body. The dress had a respectable showing of her ample bosom, long neck and a very pretty face. The lips were full enough but didn't overrule her whole jaw, a cute nose with exorbitant eyes. The color seemed brown but they had a shine to them, unlike the usual flat mud-brown eyes. Her black hair was in a boring bun that had a tiara in it. A princess! That would explain the beauty.
She looked dismally at the sky, mumbled something then looked apprehensively at the sky. Held a paper to her chest and made a wish? I hopped on to the rail next to her while her eyes were closed. She opened them: slight surprise, a cute little pout then exasperated.
With her pretty face in a gloved hand, the princess mumbled with annoyance, " Very funny…so what now? I reckon you want a kiss?" Her comment sounded sarcastic but she wastalking to the Prince of Maldonia.
It was instinct to respond to a woman with charm, that's the only way I know how to speak-"Kissing would be nice, yes?"
She screams and hastily retreats backwards into the room would've been insulting if I wasn't a frog at the moment. She crashed into the self of stuff animals- which also had the lamp. The light went out, the princess was under the dolls when I started my begging.
"I'm sorry! (Less desperate)I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you-" a bear came flying towards me. Then a rabbit! She was attacking me fast and hard.
"You have a very strong arm, Princess," (another doll) "ok, PLEASE! Put. The monkey. Down!" the monkey was plush but she threw straight so it did knock me down. I had to get closer to this Princess before she found ceramic dolls.
"Stay back or I'll- I'll....!" she had a book in her hands; I saw a desk and jumped on it. Leaped really, the extra back strength was new and I didn't know it well enough. So I did a small summer salt, shocking myself a teeny bit.
"Oh wow, (time for introductions) allow me to introduce myself; I am Prince Naveen-" extreme force crushing me down in one smack- the book "...of Maldonia". I mumbled out the corner of my mouth, of my swelling head.
I weakly tried to stand, head still swelling- she was unusually strong for an average girl.
In a confused voice, she started saying something but I only started to hear when she slightly shouted in an accusing voice-" hold on, if you're the prince- then WHO was that waltzing with Lottie on the dance floor!?" the impact of her voice made me wobble over again.
Whoever was waltzing was having a finer night than me, for certain. Annoyance wasn't needed at the moment, least she believe I was the Prince I am. "Sigh, all I know is one minute I am a prince, charming and handsome, cutting a rug- (webbed feet were slippery! Annoyance got its moment) and the next thing I know I'm a tripping over these!"
I pointed my hideous little green foot at her; she looked disgusted then ready to whack me again.
"Wait, wait-(though I tried to block my once beautiful face, I saw the title of the thin book) wait! I know this story! The Froggee Pruto!" amazing! I had the exact answer in the exactly right person!
"The Frog Prince?" the Princess asked, not understanding but gave me the oversized book. The book was almost as beautiful as the Princess in that moment!
"my mother had the servants read this is me every night!" it was so easy I was laughing. I showed her how simple my epiphany was by flipping the pages of during and after the princess kisses the frog prince!
"Yes! Yes! This is exactly the answer! (I turned to the beautiful Princess) You must kiss me".
The Princess put a hand on her curved hip and said in the most revolted tone yet-"Excuse me?!"
She didn't know who she was about to kiss- what a deprived girl who needed reassurance. "You will enjoy, I guarantee (I stroked my bald head, out of habit, where urban curls usually were) all women enjoy the kiss, of Prince Naveen. Come, we pucker."
At that moment my lips puckered my throat expanded to three times the size of my body. Then contracted to as it was before: strange but no reason to dwell on a slight flook.
"That's new." I said with my most beautiful smile; happy to still have that.
The princess was so impressed, "Look, I'm sorry, I'd really like to help you but I just (she folded her arms and turned her fine, exposed back to me) do NOT kiss frogs." She the last word in such with such disgust, the panic came in.
"Wait a second! On the balcony, you asked me..." I couldn't have picked the most unromantic Princess in the world. Luck was not that cruel, as a Princess she should love this story.
"I didn't expect you to answer!"
I would actually have to beg." oh but you must. Look, besides being unbelievably handsome, ok, I happen to come from a fabulously wealthy family. Surely I could offer you some sort of reward, a wish perhaps?"
It was insane for me to bribe a woman into a kiss but she did look more considerate.
"Just...one kiss?" She held up one finger to make her point more accurate.
I did the same, in irony. "Just one (the imagined the after affects of her seeing my glorious human face) unless you beg for more." Only fair to warn her; I licked my lips- or meant to. My new tongue covered more than alluringly needed.
She still looked disgusted but sucked in a breathe, closed her eyes and leaned in. I puckered again and heard her gag. She turned away from me, bending over as if sick and started murmuring to herself. Manically trying to convince her into kissing the world's most experience& renounced lover. It was so funny. I humorously grabbed a bottle of perfume and sprayed some into my delicious mouth. It was expensive smelling strawberries and lilacs.
She turned again, looking determined and quickly planted her full, ruby red lips onto my own.
When I didn't feel any more pressure, I opened my eyes to see and feel my unchanged form. How ugly it was, how disappointing that fairy tales weren't at all true. I expected the Princess to make another gagging sound but didn't see her any where. Strangely I looked down to see her dress in a pile- empty of the lovely girl. But there was something wiggling in the silk.....Dear Gods!
A small bright-green frog with the Princess's pretty brown eyes looked up at me. "You don't look that much different but how'd you get way up there? And how'd get all the way down here in all this- GASP." She looked in the mirror on the floor, screamed at her amphibian form and leaped on the dresser next to me.
I fell back giving her space, she was about to have a panic attack; justifiable but unnecessary. "Easy Princess, Princess easy!"
"What did you do to me!!? I'm green and I'm slimy!" As she said this her hand pulled mucus from her new little head.
"No no, it is not slime." I took her racing little wrist, which wasn't so little now that we were the same size. "You are secreting mucus." That should be far more dignifying than slime.
Her eye twitched; looking like furious wolverine she grabbed my throat. The force in her jump had us fall off the dresser, on to a rocking horse then- I don't know how- we were soaring out the room. The events that happened next were fast and clear.
Drum set, music shift from waltz to up-beat. We jump into the puffy pink dress of a voluptuous woman, she falls but sees us at the hymn of her dress, screams then a dog comes at us. The now frog Princess screams she can't run so I scream to her to hop. I did, crashed into the buffet tabled, we shared a giraffe head then out legs got tangled in some balloons. The flabby dog was coming so I tried cutting the strings for an escape. The Princess was pleading with the dog.
Princess- "Stella wait! Stella it me, Tiana!" she said this when I cut the last string and we were rising.
The shocked dog -"Tiana?!" then fell onto a table catapulting a cake which was launched onto two men eating.
The Princess almost fell struggling with her shock, it was a bit annoying. I grabbed the shaky girl, trying to make her hold onto the string.
"Stella just talked to me! The dog just talked to me!" Yes, a talking pooch is so exciting; like being a alive isn't enough.
"You know, if you're gonna let every little thing bother you, it's gonna be a long night."