Rated 'M' for a reason people! So I told PuppyLoveIs4Ever (who has a great username) that I would write her a smut fic, (cause she's amazing and goes to a large school). So here it is.

So recently I reread the Deathly Hallows, and I noticed the multiple innuendos… (Erecto! 'Wand of Destiny', 'Death Stick', ect…) I decided to write this smutty and smexy bit of puppy love based on those lovely innuendos. So ENJOY!

Oh yeah, and I own NOTHING.

"The wand of Destiny was last seen in 1718 at the end of the Anti-Dragon Cruelty Federation's short reign in Istanbul's Ministry, when the Anti-Dragon Cruelty Federation stormed the Department of The Illegal Breeding of Rare Magical Creatures, resulting in the death of over forty embryonic Threstals. Desdemona Hellion, the last known owner of the Wand of Destiny, was poisoned during her favorite meal of fried monkey brains in a light cream sauce and roasted purple potatoes by her young married lover, Lucifer Von Allen…" Professor Binns droned. His ghostly rant was either unnoticed or ignored by the rest of the classroom full of drowsy Seventh Years. The only people not sleeping besides Binns were four students known infamously as the Marauders.

James was doodling 'Lily Potter', 'Lily James Potter', and multiple other variations of their two names, in his notes. Peter Pettigrew was practicing his knitting. Sirius Black was gawking at his scrumdidilyumptious lycanthropic sex slave. (Aka Remus Lupin) And said scrumdidilyumptious lycanthropic sex slave was staring vacantly at the History of Magic Professor with a glazed look on his face and drool dripping out of his slightly open mouth. Sirius decided to put a stop to his boyfriend's devastating boredom.

"Psssst! Hey, Moony…" Sirius began to poke Remus with the pointy end of his obnoxiously long quill. "Moooooooooony? Moony? Moo-nyyyyyy…. Moon-"

"What, Sirius?" Remus snapped, and turned to glare at his unhealthily and unusually annoyingly hyperactive boyfriend.

"Wanna go have a snog?"

Remus stared at Sirius in disbelief. "Sirius, we. Are. In. Class!"

"… so?"

"Well, we can't just leave." Remus hissed. 'What if Professor Binns notices and gives us a detention or something?"

"Binns wont give us a detention…"

"How do you know?"

"I just do!" Sirius huffed, and decided to use his secret weapon. "Please Moony…" He whispered as sensually as he was physically able. (Which was pretty damn sensual.) "I know that you want me to shove my big, hard, cock up your tight sweet arse…"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Really Pads? Can you get any more unoriginal? Besides, the Wand of Destiny has an extremely fascinating history. It's the most powerful Wand in Wizarding History. Did you know that Ollivander wrote a book documenting its travel through history, by following the trail of blood, death and destruction it left in its wake? Legend has it that it's the very same wand that Beedle the Bard, told about in his story of the 'Deathly Hallows'. I heard that-"

"I'll bet that I can show you a real 'Wand of Destiny', Moony." Sirius interrupted, leering at Remus. "I'll bet that I can show you 'destruction'."

Remus smirked. "With that little thing? Rosewood and Unicorn tail, ten inches? Puh-lease."

Sirius growled angrily, turning a angry reddish color. "You know that you weren't saying that last night when I was pounding you into your mattress… let me see if I can refresh your memory."

Remus hid a smug smile. Sex with Sirius was just so much better when he was trying to prove his manliness. "Let's see if you can."

Sirius leered at Remus, and then turned to James and poked him. "Prongs, if anyone asks, we went to the bathroom." James grunted in agreement, and then began to throw little bits of balled up parchment at Peter. Sirius and Remus quickly gathered their things, and strolled quite obviously out of the classroom.

"You know Pads, if we had any other teacher this class would be really very interesting." Remus remarked as He and Sirius hurried down the hall towards their favorite broom closet. "The Wand of Destiny is a really fascinating sub-"

Sirius suddenly yanked Remus into an empty classroom. "I'll show you a real 'Wand of Destiny', Moony."

"Oh, really?"

A roguish leer spread itself over Sirius' face. "My darling Moonykins… you of all people should know that I posses one of the most powerful 'Wands' in the history of Hogwarts… you also posses a 'Wand'. So wanna make some magic?"

"Bring it, Big Boy."

Sirius growled playfully and pushed Remus roughly against the closest wall. Clamping his mouth over Remus' Sirius kissed him until Remus' knees were shaking uncontrollably and his breathing was shallow and irregular. Soon, both of the young men were panting and aroused. Desperate for relief, they ground their erections against each other, moaning into each other's mouths.

"Get your fucking pants off now." Sirius panted, tugging at Remus' belt. It was soon undone and Remus' pants pooled around his ankles and his blue cotton boxers tented impressively. "You're so goddamn gorgeous…" Sirius whispered gazing at Remus' flushed skin and wet, kiss swollen lips. He lightly squeezed his erection through the boxers.

"No- not as g- gorgeous as- OH! Why am I the only one with his pants down?"

Sirius chuckled slightly. "Patience, Love. You'll have my pants down soon enough." With that, Sirius pressed their bodies back together and plunged his tongue back into Remus' waiting mouth. Curving his hands over Remus' round buttocks, Sirius gave them a squeeze, digging his fingertips into the soft flesh.

Remus gave a gasping moan and started to sink to his knees, softly kissing the denim covering Sirius' hard cock. "Wanna try something…." He murmured, pressing wet open mouthed kissed to the stiff cloth covered length until he reached the zipper. Running his tongue over the cold metal, Remus closed his lips over the button at the top of Sirius' jeans. Then, gazing up at Sirius through heavy lashed and lust darkened eyes, Remus tugged the button through the hole and, closing his teeth over the zipper, pulled the tab down.

Sirius watched his boyfriend's little show with his cock growing harder and more painful with every flick of that small pink tongue. "That was fucking sexy." Sirius rasped, pulling Remus up by his hair and kissing him hungrily. "So. Damn. Hot…" Remus smiled into Sirius' mouth and yanked his pants and shorts down, and thrusting his hand against Sirius' hard prick. Sirius groaned and intensified the kiss.

"Fuck Padfoot… I want you to fuck me so fucking good right now…" Remus panted as he writhed against Sirius' body. Sirius moaned and hooked both of Remus' legs around his waist, and literally tearing Remus' boxers off so that they were hanging on his left thigh. Reaching around, Sirius pressed two fingers inside of Remus, eliciting a moan from his boyfriend.

"Oooh… that's nice…"

"Yeah, you like that, don't you Moony? You like it when I finger fuck you like this?"

"Mm-hm. So good…"

"You want me to shove another finger up that gorgeous tight arse of yours?"

"Ah! Yes… I want your cock…"

"You want my cock?

Yeah… give it to me, Pads… give me your cock."

Sirius smirked. He loved it when Remus talked dirty like this. He loved it when he could make his Moony writhe against him and moan like some sort of cheap wanton whore. He pressed the head of his quite impressive cock against Remus' quivering arse hole.

"Yeah, that's it Pads… put it in. Fuck me. Fuck me hard." Remus lips were pulled back in a wolfish, pleasure filled snarl. His nails dug into Sirius' shoulders as Sirius entered him roughly, not stopping until he was ball deep. Without waiting for Remus to adjust, Sirius started to push in and out at a slow, yet intense, rate. "Oh, fucking Merlin, YES!" Remus gasped, throwing his head back. "Pads, your cock… fuck me! Harder… harder goddammit! " With a growl, Sirius began to thrust into Remus as hard and as fast as he could. Remus let out a purr like as satisfied cat as Sirius quickened his pace. "Yes… yeah, yeah… yeah. Fuck… shit yes! Oh, Padssssirius!" Sirius pounded Remus long and hard, gutterly moaning naughty words and phrases into Remus' ear… asking him if he liked what he was doing to him… if he liked his big fat hard cock shoved up his tight arse like the slutty bitch he was. Nonsense babbled out of Remus' mouth like a dirty brook. Words like 'yes', and 'harder' and 'faster' burst past his lips and filled the empty classroom. Soon, both boys were nearing their peaks. "So… close…" Remus panted into Sirius' ear.. "S-Sirius…!" Remus started to stroke his own prick so fast that his hand nearly became a blur. "Oh… OH! Siriussss! I love you! I love you… IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouI- Oh, GOD yes!" Remus arched his back and came, his cum creating hot white ribbons on Sirius' chest, stomach, and his own hand. Long gutteral moans were forcing themselves from Sirius' airless lungs as he finished soon after Remus, gasping out his boyfriend's name. Completely spent, the two boys sunk to the cold stone floor in an exhausted heap.

"Damn, that was good." Remus sighed happily, and turned to kiss Sirius' chin."

"Of course it was," Sirius said smugly. "After all I was using my 'Wand of Destiny'."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Sure, Pads."

"We made some pretty good 'Magic', didn't we, Moony?"
"Sirius… stop."

"You even got 'Potion' all over me!"

"If you don't stop with these ridiculous innuendo's, I will hex you."

"…"

"…"

"Kinky."

THE END! HOPE YOU ENJOYED!