Disclaimer: neither Criminal Minds nor tvtropes is mine. The story, all of it, is.
Yes, I borrow lines from tvtropes, but it's a free source.
"Morgan," Garcia said. "Come here. I just found a fun website."
Morgan rose, walked to Garcia's room. The team was at HQ, on lunch break. Nothing interesting was happening. Prentiss and JJ were at the kitchen, microwaving their lunch; Reid was at his desk, reading scary-looking door stopper; Hotch and Rossi were on the group table, munching sandwiches and discussing what formation Jack's team should use tomorrow. Slow day. Even Morgan got bored. He didn't eat much except the hot dog on his hands.
"What is it, Baby Girl?" As always, she was with her computer.
"Here. Tvtropes."
"What's it about?"
"It's about tricks of the trade for writing fiction."
"What's so fun about it?"
"I'll explain. Come, sit."
Morgan did.
"What did you give me last Christmas? A book about woman with vampires?"
"Twilight. Thought it's kind of thing women like nowadays...What, you don't like it?"
"Honestly, that book hurts my eyes."
"What do you mean?"
"It's full of Said Bookism."
"Said Bookism?" Morgan interrogated. "What's that?"
"Well," Garcia exposited, "it's means the writer goes out of their way to avoid the word said."
"Why would they do this?" ejaculated Morgan.
"Because," explicated Garcia, "it was the fashion at one point. There were even 'said books' you could get mail order with lists of the words that can be used instead of said as saying said was discredited during that time. That's where the name of the trope comes from," he further proclaimed.
"But Said Bookism itself is a Discredited Trope these days?" Morgan queried.
"Absolutely," confirmed Garcia, "it's considered redundant," he proceeded, "because dialogue should speak for itself without needing fancy tags to convey its meaning and intention."
"That makes sense," Morgan concurred.
"In the worst cases, the dialogue tags end up repeating what the dialogue itself is telling us," Garcia stated in addition, revealing that in the worst cases the dialogue tags end up repeating what the dialogue itself is telling us.
"Painful to read."
"Extremely."
"Interesting." Morgan leaned closer. "What else it has?"
At that moment, JJ and Prentiss returned, sat on the group table.
"Look at them."
"JJ and Prentiss?"
"The trope for them is Fair Cops."
"What?"
"Means they are good-looking law enforcers."
"What's wrong with that?"
"Nothing. Lots of cops do look good. But when you see those girls, they may as well be actresses...in another life." Garcia leaned on her seats, imagining it as the fourth wall. Leaning on the Fourth Wall. "Anyway, I have to admit the men in our team look good too. Specially you and Reid. You two are Estrogen Brigade Bait."
Morgan frowned. "How are Reid and I related to female sex hormone?"
"Oh, it just means you have the looks that are guaranteed to get attention from any woman."
Morgan recalled that time when Reid got propositioned by every prostitute they talked to. Yes. Reid is definitely Estrogen Brigade Bait. As for himself? He...didn't think much about his look, but he couldn't pretend the trope didn't flatter him—
"You're blushing."
"What? No—"
"It's really fine, shining knight."
"Shining knight—you never call me that before. Is it just me or you keep making new nick everytime we talk?"
"It's...the latter. Never think about it, but you're right." She offered her hand. "Betcha 20 dollars Tvtropes has a trope about that."
Morgan took it. "It's a game, girl."
Click. Click. The Nicknamer.
"No sh—"
"Careful!" A Curse-Cut Short, Garcia thought. "You cannot say that word here."
"Why?"
"Don't know. I don't feel that's appropriate. Our conversation needs not exceed PG-13."
"Know what, sometimes I feel that too. I mean, I can say "bitch" and "damn" and "hell" and "crap" and "piss" but I cannot say "hole" after a—"
"I get it, Morgan. Hey, wanna find out what our team might be in tropes?"
"Sure."
Type. Type. Click.
"Let's see...in Five-Man Band configuration..." Click. Click. Click. "The Hero will be Hotch, the Lancer Rossi, the Big Guy you, the Smart Guy me and Reid, the Chick JJ and Prentiss. Pretty accurate to you?"
"Could be, if you explain each one of them."
"The Hero, he's the main good guy. The Lancer, he's the Hero's right hand foil. The Big Guy, the one with muscles. The Smart Guy, the guy who mostly thinks. The Chick, she solves conflict."
Morgan considered. Hotch's the unit chief...Rossi's the most veteran after Hotch...Garcia does tech while Reid does sci...JJ and Prentiss are the ones who cool stuff off...himself? Nine out of ten he'd be the one who tackles unsubs.
"Yeah, it's accurate. Pretty creepy how fiction conventions can accurately describe real-life."
"I know, right? The stuff I do with computers, it's like Hollywood Hacking, you see, like in the TV where hacking is like video games..."
"I thought you said it's because you're just that good."
"But the more I'm digging this website, the more doubts I have, all right. What if our lives can really be defined by tropes?"
"You can't be serious."
"Pick up events about our team. I'll find the trope."
"When Hotch profiled the bitchy lawyer who doubts his profiling."
"Sherlock Scan. Taking facts and say it like Sherlock Holmes."
That's just one. "When ex-SEAL surprised us here, in HQ."
"Click Hello. Cock the gun out of sight, then show up."
Well, two."When a pariah went postal to the school shooting survivors."
"The Greatest Story Never Told. Something awesome happened but nobody hears about it."
Three, huh, but..."When we decided to forget the rules to save Doyle's son."
"Screw The Rules, I'm Doing What's Right."
And silence fell to the room. Morgan didn't trust himself to speak. Garcia, too.
Creak. "Hey, Garcia, can you—whoa."
Morgan and Garcia turned. Hotch.
"I'm just—"
"No, sir, no, come in, please, come in." Garcia pointed at the screen. "We're just talking about a website, sir."
"What website?"
"Tvtropes."
"Ah, Tvtropes."
"You know it?"
"Read it once just to pass time. Tvtropes Will Ruin Your Life. In fact, it already did mine."
"How?"
"You know the reason I'm the resident Stoic of our team? The man who shows emotion the least?"
"I suppose because you're cool-headed?"
"No, well, yeah, but not the main reason. The main reason is that Tvtropes has given me an unwanted Medium Awareness."
"And what is that?"
Hotch turned to Garcia, pointed at her computer. "May I?"
"Of course, boss."
He took over, covered right half of the screen, typed. Enter. A page. "Read third paragraph."
"Criminal Minds centers around a team of FBI profilers who use their knowledge of the human mind to get into the heads of the worst criminals—and catch them..."
He released his hand. "See the pic?"
Garcia: "That's us."
Morgan: "What are we doing there?"
"Well, since Tvtropes is about tricks of the trade for writing fiction..."
Garcia: "No—"
Morgan: "Don't admit it—"
"We only exist in TV and fanfictions," Hotch said. "Including this one you're reading. Right, readers?"