"Keep My Secrets…"
"Things were really hard when you let me go." Sakura looked down at her long-time rival, lying in a hospital bed, her face blank, just as it had been for days while she slept.
Ino's team had returned from their latest mission with Ino in this state. Tsunade had done all she could for the girl, extracting three different kinds of poison from her blood and helping mend multiple fractures. But her head had been almost crushed under the foot of a cruel enemy, and every moment it took for her to receive medical care was a moment longer than the bleeding from her skull should have lasted.
While everyone in Konoha was saying how unfortunate it all was, Sakura couldn't help but think how lucky Ino was. Lucky to have been ambushed so close to the village, lucky to have a mastermind like Shikamaru as a teammate, lucky to have lived at all. And she would make it, Sakura was certain. Not because she was lucky but because Ino was strong minded and even stronger physically and their incomprehensible relationship was far from over.
Every day when Sakura had arrived at the hospital to sit by Ino's side, she found the room full of fresh flowers from the Yamanaka family's shop. Sakura hadn't asked but she had a feeling Ino's parents were hoping the smell of something so familiar might help awaken her.
Sakura held her friends cold, pale hand and rubbed it softly. "Ino, things would be really hard if you let me go again."
The past three days, since Ino was allowed visitors, Sakura had come to visit, and the silence of the room had given her plenty of time to think. She remembered the blossoming of their friendship. Sakura had been so miserable as a child, wishing for nothing more than to be invisible. Anytime she felt someone's eyes fall on her, she felt her own well up with tears and had to hold her hands at her side to keep from covering her face. The hurtful names the kids had called her had stuck with her much longer than any of the bruises they had given her.
'Just like a ghost.'
Sakura remembered the day she met Ino. Ino had touched her forehead and Sakura had quivered, bracing herself against the pain she was sure was going to come. But Ino offered only smiles and honest eyes. When Ino asked her to come back the next day, Sakura was almost certain it was a trick. But something in the tone of Ino's voice, the friendliness without any of the coldness of the others, had lured her in and she had to see for herself.
The next day when she saw her again, and was given the gift of the ribbon that she would continue to wear for so many years, it was as though her whole destiny had changed. Before that day, Sakura saw only darkness, without anyone or anything to guide her. Looking back, she wondered if Ino had ever felt that way, so certain that nothing would ever come of her life but sadness and pain, and maybe someone had done for Ino what Ino did for her.
Ino had grabbed her hand and boldly pulled her to meet her friends. As they walked, Sakura listened to Ino talk and watched the way she smiled and laughed, so carefree and sure of herself. Sakura looked back and she knew this was the moment she knew who she wanted to be. She wanted to be Ino, in all her glory.
She had gone home that night and, after a hot bath, stood in front of her mirror with the ribbon in her hair. She practiced smiling and standing with her head held tall. She made up conversations between herself and the other kids and acted so confident and carefree, just as Ino had.
Over the next few days, she was more easily able to talk and act like Ino, but in a way she began to find her own middle ground too. Somewhere between silent and docile and strong and proud – that was Haruno Sakura.
When it was just Sakura and Ino alone, they became the recipients of one another's secrets and Sakura was able to let go of her happy façade and speak her mind. But over time it was less and less of a façade. She was beginning to be more and more popular with the other kids – something she attributed to Ino's already being popular. Less and less kids said mean things to Sakura until none of them said anything at all, except for how great she was.
Somehow, without her seeing it, Ino had begun to fall into the background. It was almost as though Ino had been center stage and, when she had welcomed Sakura to join her in the spotlight, Sakura had shoved her out of it and into the darkness. While Sakura could feel herself gaining attention, she hadn't realized that she had really been trying to outdo Ino all along.
Of all the secrets they talk about, they had never seriously talked about boys. Uchiha Sasuke wasn't a serious crush so much as a tool in the beginning. Everyone seemed to like Sasuke, or at least acknowledge that he was the best of the boys in their class, and Sakura was smart enough to see that liking him would be as normal and popular a thing to do as anything else. But the day she announced her crush to all her friends, she had heard was Ino said. Something in her tone echoed the tones of those horrible bullies from so long ago. Sakura felt an unexplainable anxiety inside her and a division between her and Ino. Sakura tried to mend the gap by sharing more of herself with Ino, but it wasn't until much later that she realized all the talk of Sasuke was what was pulling them apart.
By the time she confronted her, Sakura had even begun to resent her for it. It was as though Ino felt Sakura wasn't good enough for Sasuke, that only "perfect Ino" was good enough for him. A perfect boy for a perfect girl. Sakura could feel the burning inside of her, to surpass Ino and be better than her. She had decided it long before she said it. "So, you also like Sasuke-kun… We are rivals from now on."
She gave Ino was last glance before she turned her back on her, promising to become better than the girl whose approval she had so strongly craved.
Sakura looked down at her friend and ran her fingers through her soft white hair. "When we split, in a way, I lost who I was. I had always wanted to be you, but I had also always wanted to be with you. You were what saved me when I was lost and without you, I felt lost again. I went home and looked in the mirror again, for the first time in so long, and I tried to pose like you. But no matter what, a small part of me felt like I could never do it."
"At first my 'love' of Sasuke was so small. But it became real. I wanted to be who he wanted, I wanted to be someone better than you or anyone else. I wanted to be that girl who could-" Sakura stopped. Looking at Ino, so helpless and fragile for the first time ever, she couldn't begin to remember how strong and proud she had stood before. Sakura laid her head down next to Ino's hand, blinking through the tears that were rising in her eyes. "You were the one who saved me, Ino. And even when I became 'better' than you and when I had perfected my smiles and confidence, you were the only friend I really wanted but couldn't have."
She felt the hand next to her tighten around her own and sat up. Ino was still asleep but it seemed as though she was beginning to come out of it. In the back of her mind she remembered that Ino's parents had made Sakura promise to let them know if anything changed and this was definitely progress. Sakura wiped her eyes and leaned close to Ino's ear.
"I wish we could be best friends again, everyday. Promise to keep my secrets just once more, Ino-Chan."
As Sakura began to leave the room she thought she heard Ino whisper, "Promise, Sakura-Chan."