A Good Bad Ending
Disclaimer: Like I'd really put a disclaimer on a fic for this game, given where it originated? Get real.
CCX: So, I've been playing this game entirely too much—so far, I've gotten every bit of two of the five lines, both good endings and bad. Though I'm a little surprised that it takes so much more work to get the bad ending than the good on…certain lines. Still, as much as certain girls are naturally more appealing to me than others, there are also times where an H-game protagonist has to grow a goddamn spine and call some of these girls out when they behave like complete assholes. What follows is…a rewrite.
The sound of my alarm is an unwelcome intrusion on a sleep that's been a battle to obtain. I doubt I've truly been asleep for more than an hour or two. Too much on my mind. Did I make the right choice, leaving the house yesterday? Did I manage to get Emi to realize how unreasonable she's been? Am I ever going to manage to get her to stop being unreasonable? Emi's mom gave me a new perspective the other day, but I'm still not sure that it's the right perspective. (A/N: At the moment we're still going directly from the script. Yes, "yesterday" and "the other day" in fact refer to the same incident.) She was hurt when I left yesterday, too. I know that part of any conversation is going to have to include an apology about that. Right thing to do or not, I hurt her. I hurry down to the track, eager to talk to Emi. I think I know what to say. Apologize for leaving first, and go ahead from there.
Unless, of course, Emi doesn't show up. Which from the looks of things seems like it's the case. It's been about fifteen minutes since I got here, and there's no sign of her. She's never late, not unless she's sick, which is unlikely. She probably just doesn't want to see me right now. To take my mind off of what that implies, I begin my warm-up routine and take off around the track. It clears my mind wonderfully; for the half-hour I'm running, I don't think about anything but the run. However, once I'm finished, and Emi still hasn't shown up… I get a little worried. With any luck, the nurse will know where she is; if nothing else, I can see what he thinks I should do next.
"So, last night didn't go too well, I take it."
"Huh? You already know?"
"I have my ways, and it's not as if I'd miss the distinct absence of your running partner this morning, now would I?"
"No, I suppose not."
"So, what happened?"
"Don't you know already?"
"Maybe, but I could be bluffing. Perhaps I'd prefer to get your side of the story before I give any advice." I quickly fill the nurse in on the events of last night, and he takes it all in without changing expression once. Nothing about the whole event seems to surprise him, although he does seem surprised when I say that I didn't follow Emi. "Chose to talk to her mom instead, huh? Smart move, though I guess it didn't work out too well for you in the end."
"Well, I'm not sure. Emi seemed apologetic when I left, or at least she seemed that way until she put up her defenses again."
The nurse sighs and spreads his hands in a conciliatory gesture. "Frankly, I'm surprised that she let them down at all. Emi's had a lot of practice on that score. You probably won't get anything else out of her."
"I don't believe you."
"Is that so? You think she'll tell you the whole tale?" I'd swear I just saw the nurse's eyes glitter a little. His expression is the same, but he leans forward ever so slightly.
"I think she'll open up if I go about it the right way, yeah."
The nurse gives his enigmatic smile in response and shrugs widely. I think he's enjoying his role a little too much. "That's the real trick, isn't it? Are you sure you know the right way to approach the subject? I can guarantee that Emi's going to try her hardest to pretend that last night didn't happen. It will be painfully awkward for the both of you, but it'll also be safer than trying to ask her for the whole story again. It could go worse, this time. Are you ready for something like that?"
It sounds like a challenge, like he doesn't believe I'd be so bold. I actually feel a little insulted by his lack of confidence in me. "Of course I'm ready for that! I love her!"
My outburst gets a raised eyebrow in response. "Well then. Good luck. Let me know how it all turns out." His parting shot is delivered with the same smirk as usual, but I get the feeling the nurse actually wants me to succeed. I resist the urge to go charging straight up to Emi's room…heh. That's right, she warned me about coming in on my white charger, didn't she? Damnit, what a stubborn girl…if I wasn't so madly in love with her, she wouldn't be worth the trouble.
Suddenly, an idea hit me. I thought back on everything I knew—things that Emi had let slip; things I'd learned from the conversations with her mother and the nurse, even some statements that Rin had made. She'd talked about "Emi at her Emiest", then later told me that I'd given a very Emi-like response to something or another. The nurse, too, had told me that it seemed as though Emi had rubbed off on me. This was the only solution—to think the way she thinks, act the way she acts…throw her attitude right back in her face.
It took almost a week before she finally allowed me to confront her about it. I told her that I'd been worried about her ever since dinner at her house. "Ah. Still on that, I see."
"What, you think I'm supposed to just forget about it? You threw me out of your house! We've been going on for almost a week pretending it never happened!"
"I didn't see you bringing it up either, you know." The perfect opportunity.
"Just how you like it, right? Ignoring problems and pretending they aren't there. Everything will be just fine, as long as you keep all of your problems to yourself and everyone else at arm's length. Those circles under your eyes and that distracted look in them is proof that you're handling it all just fine all by yourself."
"It's not your fault, Hisao…"
"Well, I haven't helped, either. I keep pushing you to tell me things that you aren't ready to tell me; maybe I was wrong to try getting your mother to help me out, but I've been so worried about you that I didn't know what else to do."
"Well, you don't have to worry about me any more, okay? I think it's pretty clear we're not right for each other, so maybe we should just… stop." Her face is twisted up as she says this, like she doesn't want to say it but forces herself to anyway. It's that look that allows me to continue.
"I couldn't agree with you more. I was just about to suggest the same thing." I tried to give the words all the venom I could muster, even though I didn't really want to break up with her. "I can't go on dating a girl who can't show gratitude when somebody tries to show her some goddamn kindness! I understand that you don't want to talk about what happened to you. I get that, really I do. Hell, back at your house when I was first talking to your mom—before you stormed out—you witnessed the first time I ever willingly told somebody why I'm at Yamaku." It was true. Rin had learned upon first meeting me, but she'd weaseled it out with her usual weird ways, and Emi had only learned because I collapsed on her at the track. Mrs. Ibarazaki really was the first person that I'd told of my own free will. "You know what your mom told me? She told me that you'd never ask for help, because you know that you're strong enough to get through anything on your own. But that's not the full story, is it?" Her eyes go wide, and she takes a step back. I keep going, because I think I've finally figured it out, and I plan to let her know this. Something tells me I won't get another shot. "I know that the anniversary of your accident is coming up soon—the nurse deemed that this was one bit of information that it wouldn't be crossing the line to reveal—and based on a number of clues from conversations with him, your mom, and mostly you yourself, I think I have a pretty good hypothesis as to what's going on."
I can see that I've gotten through to her, but she quickly falls back to anger. "What do you think you know about me, and what I've had to face?"
I laugh. "Now, what would that accomplish? Let's say I tell you what I think happened, and I'm right, and you're forced to admit it to me. Then I'm just imposing my will upon you again, aren't I? It would be meaningless if I don't hear the answer from your lips, on your terms. So I'm not going to help you because I think you need rescuing. I don't want to be a knight rescuing the damsel in distress, but even knights helped each other out, you know. I want to help you, even though I know you can do it on your own."
"Why? Why do you want to help me?" she sobbed.
"I guess I could say that I owe you one for helping me out when we first met—helping me find a way to live a healthier lifestyle, giving me motivation to keep going on. But nothing about that statement would be true. I love you, Emi; that's not going to change. But your philosophy that you have to be strong enough to handle everything yourself is…well, it's really fucking stupid. And so are you. For being too goddamn selfish to understand that you are not alone in this world, and your actions will always be entwined with the lives of the people around you. I'm sorry about your…" I trailed off, having nearly tipped my hand—what was that that Kenji had said about holding your cards close to you? Had he actually said something useful to me? "…but fate can play funny tricks on you like that. Do you know what isn't healthy? Stress. And having to deal with your messed-up worldview is giving me plenty of that. About the only time you ever make any sense is out on the track. But that's just fate playing games with me again, isn't it? With us… even before you confessed to me, I'd fallen in love with you, seeing you like that. 'At your Emiest', as Rin put it. You looked absolutely beautiful out there—natural, even. A…worthy legacy." So maybe I had tipped my hand. I didn't care. "Goodbye, Emi."
The bell rang. I felt as though I'd done everything I needed to do. "Hisao! Wait just a minute!" Heading down those stairs, I was filled with rage, but it felt…good. So good it made my heart race.
Wait…this wasn't "good".
"Hisao?" I lurched forward, trying to catch myself. "Hisao!" Emi's panicked shrieks were the last things I heard as I slipped into unconsciousness.
CCX: …Aw, hell, I suck at letting my fanfics end "badly".
I awoke in the nurse's office. It was…light out. Morning? Hadn't it been afternoon when I'd fallen asleep…no, when I'd passed out? "Still alive…how many days have I been in here?" I mumbled.
"Not even one," said a relieved voice, "but damn close. I'm glad it wasn't long, though; there's something I want to show you. Can you hurry up and okay him to go?" That cute voice…
"Oh? And what do you want with him that requires such urgency?" the nurse asked.
"You know full well what day today is," Emi replied. "I'm…bringing him along with me. He deserves to know…though I suspect he already does. Thanks in part to you…" she said accusatorily, before relenting "…as well as to me. But he already said that he won't tell me what he thinks he knows, and wants me to confirm his suspicions through my own admission. And seeing as how you tasked me with making sure he stays healthy…I have no choice but to relent. In case you haven't noticed…I'm kind of his white knight." She chuckled. Absolutely beautiful.
CCX: Hmm…perhaps "White Knight" would be a better title for this story? I think I shall make "White Knight" its official title, but will leave "A Good Bad Ending" at the top and in the title area so as not to spoil the fact that it actually does have a happy ending. Yeah, the way it's worded would suggest that it has one anyway, but the title originally referred to the fact that it was supposed to be karma biting Emi in the ass. Like I said before, I love Emi—I did her route first, and somehow got the good ending completely by chance (though it turns out there's pretty much only one choice that matters when it comes to determining which ending you get, and it's counterintuitive—although earlier choices can make it so that that choice never even comes up and you're already permanently on track for the good ending—and in fact, the part of the script that is directly quoted in this fic comes from making those choices)—I also think that she really deserves a taste of her own medicine, and that Hisao was an idiot for continuing to be the dogged nice guy when she really was being a total bitch to him. …but then again, that tsundere attitude is part of what makes her so appealing, isn't it? Well, that and the…well, I won't spoil it, but let's just say that while most of the songs that were stuck in my head last night were directly from Katawa Shoujo's soundtrack, there was one that wasn't.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you