Awakenings and Misunderstandings.
Characters belong to Annie Proulx and Brokeback Mountain.
The dog had been uneasy for twenty minutes and then at last had rounded up many of the sheep himself after trying unsuccessfully to nudge the man awake. He was now tired and, mindful of the rumbling and the flashing of light from the sky above, crept closer to the man almost on his belly. The dog was used to no affection and many blows but this man was kind to him, he felt drawn to him, and finally snuggled close next to his warm body and then under his kind hand as the man awoke.
Since the journey back up from breakfast Jack had slept, blotting out the disappointment he had felt in the main camp whilst talking with the other herder. So, after all Ennis was just another ordinary cowboy from ranch people thinking on settling down with his gal – he had misread the signals – Jack had noticed how Ennis blushed as he talked to him. Also, Jack had been displeased to notice Ennis watching him as he rode off on the unruly mare as she jumped around and made him look a fool.
The man tipped back his hat and regarded the dog momentarily while the storm rumbled and the rain began to pour – he glanced behind them at the rocky overhang, then whistling for the dog to follow jumped up and ran towards it. Last time he worked up on Brokeback lightning had killed many sheep – well today again the sheep would have to brave the storm and, after all, how could he control the weather? He and the dog at least would be sheltered and safe.
In his tent far below and out of the rain Ennis pondered on Jack as he whittled away on an old piece of wood, lifting his head and glancing out of the tent from time to time and up to the heights, wondering how his friend was coping up there. The lightning lit up the tempestuous sky, there was the smell of pine and cordite in the cold air, and it would be a rough day for his friend and for the animals.
Ennis's thoughts returned to Jack at breakfast earlier – Ennis had started telling Jack about he and Alma's plans to marry after Brokeback – Jack carried on complaining about their boss Aguirre as though he hadn't heard. At first Ennis thought Jack had been too riled up about Aguirre to listen to him properly – but then Ennis had heard the sigh in his voice and seen the sad look in his eyes. What did that mean? Had it meant what he thought it had meant? He'd heard stories about this here Jack Twist and seen the nudges and sly winks from the men who had helped out at the jump-off.
Jack didn't come down for supper that evening and the storm rumbled on. Ennis barely slept.
Next morning Jack rode down for breakfast, during the long night his thoughts had returned again and again to his companion. Jack dismounted and slumped down in front of the fire grimly eating the breakfast Ennis had prepared and drinking the hot bitter coffee. Jack barely spoke to Ennis and sounded irritable when he did, and Ennis knew he had displeased him..
The rain had eased during the ride down but the front of Jack's shirt was wet despite the jacket which had been leant to him by one of Aguirre's men, and his jeans were soaked. Presently he removed his shirt and jeans draping them near to the fire and, wrapping himself in an old blanket, went into the main tent to sleep awhile. Ennis looked away, became interested in the restless movements of his horse
Ennis returning later from gathering firewood saw Jack upon the old wooden bridge over the creek, saw him pulling up his damp jeans, shirtless still, and watched him as he squatted down to observe something in the water. Ennis saw that the pale skin of the young man's body was the way he imagined fine silk, and he was sorrowful and confused watching Jack for he was already in love with him, a secret even unto himself: his conscious mind not owning the thought but in love nevertheless.
Jack returned to the camp, finished dressing then mounted his horse and shouted 'No more beans!' to deflect Ennis's attention as he rode away on the unruly mare, to criticise him – he wanted no more criticism, he got enough of that from his old man and from Aguirre. He was also sick of the ordinary world, the normal, the usual…. beans be damned!
Ennis looked on, wise now not to comment on the mare, but he was worried for Jack's safety and watched until he reached the higher track.
Later as Ennis washed up the breakfast things standing in the little mountain stream he looked up at the dizzying slopes of the mountain and could see Jack on the mare driving the sheep before him, the lightning flashing and thunder rumbling. Ennis was frankly worried now after hearing that lightning had killed many sheep the previous year, maybe Jack would be next. He turned and headed for the bank, in his mind's eye saw Jack's body wet and glistening near the camp fire before he dried off……his long limbs in the morning light…..the rosy glow of his complexion…..the blue of his eyes…..felt the tears spring to his own eyes…..wanted Jack in the main camp….hell he'd gladly take his place…wanted him safe because…then stifled the thought, but inside his heart ached.
Next day was Friday and at noon Ennis had to go down to collect the supplies and put their order in for next week – holding his tattered list Ennis crossed out 'beans' with the stub of his pencil – anything to keep his young friend happy, to make amends. Then, because he was young and the day was brightening for the bad weather had passed, his spirits lifted and he whistled a little tune as he saddled up his horse…..looked forward to supper-time when he could see Jack Twist once more.
Up on the top of the mountain after missing the damn coyote again Jack squatted gun in hand, thought on Ennis…..looked forward to supper-time when he could see him once more.