What If

Summary:

"Usagi-san," Misaki's whisper broke Akihiko's train of thoughts. "If you had met me long time ago, while I was much younger, what do you think would have happened?"

All disclaimers apply

It just happened that accidentally Misaki found a folder with his name on it. He had planned to clean up Akihiko's room when something caught his eyes. They got widened noticing the folder.

Curiously the boy clicked it. He was surprised knowing that the folder contained his old pictures. Misaki was sure he never gave them to Akihiko. So, where had the older man got them?

"Misaki," a voice behind him startled the boy. "Weren't you supposed to clean up my room?"

Slowly Misaki regained his senses. "Usagi-san, where did you get my pictures?"

"Does it matter?" the man asked back nonchalantly.

"Of course it does," Misaki turned to face the man with a frown. "Isn't it impolite collecting somebody's photos without their knowledge and consent?"

Akihiko maintained his stoic face. Unknown to the younger boy, he always got amused by Misaki's vigorous outburst. "Takahiro gave them. He was so ecstatic about his lovely little brother that he willingly gave me all your pictures. Officially."

Ugh, he should have known that. Geez.

The lad gazed back at the pictures. They were taken when he had been younger, either him alone or with his brother.

Behind him, Akihiko had a secretive smile planted on his face. Watching his young lover –along with Misaki's yell, anger, blushing face or outburst- was always refreshing.

"Usagi-san," Misaki's whisper broke Akihiko's train of thoughts. "If you had met me long time ago, while I was much younger, what do you think would have happened?"

Akihiko was dumbfounded. Misaki had his back facing him, so he did not know the boy's expression. He actually hated it when he could not read his young lover.

The silver haired man strolled over and slung his arms around Misaki.

"Perhaps I would have ravished you earlier, hm?" he answered huskily.

Misaki's face was a beet red. "You old lecherous man," the 19-year-old-boy struggled to get out of Akihiko's grasp. "That's not what I meant."

Akihiko let out a small sigh. "Then what do you mean?"

"Would you still l-like me?" Misaki nervously stuttered. He avoided Akihiko's eyes.

Akihiko crossed his arms. "Does it bother you?"

"Uhm…" was the response. The boy dropped his gaze to the floor.

"Misaki," Akihiko spoke softly. "What matters is that I love you now."

Unconsciously Misaki lifted his eyes to meet the older man's. His heart involuntarily fluttered at the declaration. Akihiko was bold with his thoughts; he always spoke up whatever in his minds. It's something that the boy secretly admired and was envious at the same time.

"Honestly, I don't know the answer of your question."

Misaki was surprised at the confession. He stared questioningly at the man before him.

"If I'd met you long long time ago," the man continued. "Even I can't decipher what would have happened, either to you or to me."

The silence that followed was deafening. Both of them kept staring at each other, not wanting to break the eye contact.

Misaki searched something in those orbs. He found nothing but sincerity. Suddenly he felt a bit guilty for asking such question. "Usagi-san…" he was about to apologize.

Akihiko lovingly ruffled his brown hair. "Don't ponder around 'what ifs' too much, Misaki. What matters the most is what we have in present.

"I dunno what would happen, suppose I'd known you longer than I do now. But, what if your thoughts manifest? Would we hold affection for each other as strong as we do? Would we be happier, or less, than we already are?"

Akihiko's eyes softened. "When 'what ifs' are presented, there will be considerable possibilities that might happen, more than you can imagine. It would be nice if we gain more. But, how if it will only worsen the circumstances we are in. My boy, what we have now is the best."

"Ah.." Misaki gave a small nod.

"Satisfied now?"

"Sorry for my silly question."

In an instant, the boy was swept in a fierce hug. "You are silly."

Misaki tried to escape but couldn't. "I've said sorry," he pouted.

"You should be."

After that, Misaki never contemplated around 'what ifs' again.