A Broken Record Break Up
Written for "The Two P's - Pair and Plot" Competition at the HPFC forum.
Lavender had always been certain of what she was feeling, what she wanted, and how to get it. Therefore it had not been a surprise when she had realized that she, after a long, hot (hot it had been, indeed) summer, wanted to have Ron Weasley. The feeling she had gotten when she had bumped into him at the train had been very recognizable for her: lust. No, not lust - that had sounded too vulgar. Ah, love.
She had quickly come to a conclusion. 1. Feelings: in love with Ron Weasley. 2. Wanting: him. 3. How to get it: Ha! Why shouldn't she get him? Oh, now she did know some answers to that.
The smirk she had worn while entering the compartment would usually have had Parvati asking thousands of questions, but since Dean and Seamus had been there too, Parvati had restrained herself. Lavender had seen her friend almost exploding out of curiosity, so she had stopped at the threshold and motioned for Parvati to come outside. It had been completely empty outside the compartment so they didn't have to worry about being overheard. And anyway, why would they have cared? Then, it had been better being gossiped about then not.
"Lav, what happened?" Parvati had asked, with emphasis on each and every word.
"I'm in love with Ron!" Lavender had explained with a wide smile.
"Weasley?" Parvati had asked, confused.
"Duh, who else did you think?"
"Um, I don't know… What about Seamus then?" Parvati had asked, slightly worried.
"That was fourth year, Parvati. I'm so over him," Lavender had said and rolled her eyes. Then she had squealed and continued: "Ron, anyway, is gorgeous! You haven't seen him since before the break, right?"
"No...," Parvati had answered and couldn't say more since Lavender had continued happily.
"He's so tall, and I swear, he's more built now! Oh... I wonder how those scars he got in the Department of Mysteries look these days. Pretty sexy, I'm sure!" Lavender had said, drifting away in her thoughts. Just like she was doing again now.
In the following weeks, Lavender had made a routine of greeting Ron every time she saw him, and as soon she and Parvati had been alone Parvati had had to endure her long reports on how Ron had smiled back, what he had said exactly, and how he had looked at her during their hellos.
One Saturday evening, the two girls had been sitting in the common room, trying to do Transfiguration homework. The room had been crowded, so it had taken a while until Lavender had spotted Ron sitting in an armchair by a table full of books and papers. His forehead had been wrinkled as he had been focused and the look on his face had been so cute. He had been tapping his quill against one of the books and he had been so focused in such a sweet way that Lavender simply had to point it out to Parvati. Her friend had looked up and smiled at Lavender.
"You know, why don't go over speak with him? He's all by himself," Parvati had said with a hint of a smirk.
Lavender's eyes had widened. She had wondered why hadn't she seen that at once! Normally, Ron was never seen without Hermione or Harry, but here he had been, all by himself. She had guessed she had been too busy drooling over his handsomeness. She had risen quickly, winked at Parvati, and nearly skipped over to her red-haired soon-to-be-boyfriend. Those had been happy days, when she could use his name and the word "boyfriend" in the same sentence.
"Hi, Ron," she had said, taking the seat next to him.
He had looked up, startled.
"I had nothing to do," she had continued with a little pout. Puppy-dog eyes were her specialty, after all. But today she could puppy-dog eye him all she wanted, and still not get any results.
"Oh," Ron had said awkwardly. "Ehm... Are you already done with the homework McGonagall gave us?"
"Well, no, so actually I do have something to do, but it's boring," she had said with a sigh and had taken the chair that had been in front of Ron.
"Yeah, it really is boring," Ron had agreed, still looking surprised that Lavender had decided to join him.
"Where are Harry and Hermione, then?" Lavender had asked. She really couldn't help trying to find out some juicy gossip.
Ron had been quite for a while, staring intensely down at his parchment. "Ehm...," he had started. "They're...visiting Hagrid," he had finally finished, looking pleased with himself.
Lavender had realized that he wasn't telling her everything and had been about to push a little more when Ron had ran a hand through his hair. She had forgotten everything immediately, because that had made him look so bloody hot. Thankfully he hadn't noticed her gawking and had just smiled and went back to his work. After a few minutes in silence, Lavender had seen Hermione approaching them, shooting her an odd look. Lavender had quickly risen from the chair, smiled at Ron who had blushed, and returned to Parvati.
"Wow, he is really gorgeous!" Lavender had gushed, and Parvati had shaken her head, quite amused with her friend.
Some days later, Lavender had been in the library in search of a book when she had recognized a certain red-haired person standing in front of a shelf, frowning.
"What's up?" she had asked, looking up at his tall figure. "Can't find a book?"
"No, I'm standing here, staring at a shelf because it's so beautiful," he had answered, rolling his eyes. Lavender had guessed he had been in a bad mood, so instead of giving him a witty answer, she had giggled even though she hadn't found it that funny. And it had been the right time to laugh, because she had received a smile that had made her heart melt.
But now he would never smile at her like that again.
When she had finally been able to speak without drooling all over the place she had asked him, "So, are you going to try out for the team this year as well?" Quidditch, the greatest conversation topic with guys, always.
"Yeah, I will."
"Good luck. I'll come watch you!" Lavender had smiled. "Tomorrow at nine, right?"
"Yup," he had said with a nod and smiled back at her nervously.
He would never smile at her that way again either.
She had gone to the tryouts, cheered for her pretty Quidditch star, and been so proud when he had made it onto the team. But then, when she had been about to go down and congratulate him (and maybe get a better view of her sweaty hottie), Hermione had been faster. And, as Parvati had tried to tell her, she didn't want to stalk him too much. And she had tried. She hadn't been jealous; she hadn't been clutching onto him too hard. But it hadn't made any difference in the end.
Then, for two months, not much had happened. They had talked every now and then, but nothing had really happened. But on the day of Gryffindor's first Quidditch match, Lavender had been determined that something should happen. She didn't want to wait more; her patience had been running out. So she and Parvati had come up with two possible plans. If Gryffindor won, it would be an epic party, and she would simply go for it. If Gryffindor lost, she would comfort Ron—in more than one way, that is.
And since they had won, Lavender's brilliant plan had developed exactly as she had wanted. She had walked straight up to Ron, praised him for his flying, and then kissed him. And he had kissed her back. Those good old days… When people had started to demand they get a room, they had slipped out, searching for an empty classroom where they could continue their fantastic, breathtaking snogging. The tiny encounter they had had with Harry and Hermione had been a bit embarrassing, but what the heck, she had finally gotten her man. The following weeks had been fantastic; Lavender had been walking on the cloud nine, almost high on her and Ron's kisses, hugs…yeah, their love. Or that's what she had thought then. Now she knew better.
After a while—in heaven—everything had started to go downwards. The first time she had noticed that maybe not every single, little thing was as it should was one evening which was stuck in her memory. She had been sitting cradled in Ron's lap. His head had been resting on the seat's back, his eyes closed. She had known he wasn't asleep, even though they probably should have been, since the common room was all empty and it was long past midnight.
"You're beautiful, you know that?" she had said, tracing a finger down his neck. He had opened his eyes slowly and looked confusedly at her.
"What? Me, beautiful?"
"Yeah, you are!" she had answered with a soft smile, in a soft voice.
He had straightened up in the chair and their once-comfortable position had been lost.
"It's not funny, Lavender," he had said with piercing eyes.
"What do you mean?" she had asked, her smile fading into a frown. Why couldn't he just have taken her compliment and appreciated it?
"You don't have to lie to me, Lavender. Just because couples are supposed to say such things to each other, you don't have to lie," he had said while his ears had gone red.
"I didn't lie," she had started but had been interrupted when he had risen from the chair and caused her to fall back in it.
"Oh, come on!" he had said, starting to walk to the stairs for the boys' dormitory.
Lavender had risen quickly—no, desperately. "Ron, please stay!" she had pleaded. When he at least had stopped mid-step, she had continued.
"I didn't mean to upset you!" He had turned slowly around with a faint smile on his—oh so kissable and inviting—lips. The look in his eyes had almost been forgiving of her so she had stepped close to him, wrapping her arms around him and turning upwards to face him. "And anyway," she had continued, "it doesn't matter, beauty is inside of us." She had smiled at him and leaned in more, closing her eyes, figuring some snogging was to come. She had known her Won-Won from the inside to outside. Yet when there—obviously—hadn't been any lips crushing on hers, she had opened her eyes and found him frowning and slipping out from her embrace.
"Goddammit, woman, am I beautiful or not? If you're going to try to lie to me about such things, please don't change your mind all bloody time." His eyes had been as cold as stone, before he had turned around and walked up the stairs. And Lavender had been feeling more alone than ever.
Since that night, nothing had been as it once had been. Lavender had been doing everything she could to try to make things go back to normal. She hadn't been speaking that much about herself, tried to listen more of what he was had agreed with whatever he had said, even if she thought he was wrong. She had laughed at every single joke he had made, even if it wasn't that funny. But all of her efforts had been a complete waste of time. Their conversations had been more and more awkward, and even if they still had snogged every now and then it had been very halfheartedly. Lavender realized that she had clutched harder and harder to Ron, and he had slipped away more and more. The evening before the end (oh yes, dramatic as she was), they had been sitting in the common room doing homework together. Lavender had sighed, which had made Ron look up at her.
"Oh, sorry, I wasn't listening. Did you say something?" he had asked, his look so concerned that Lavender had wanted to just jump into his arms and let him comfort her, stroke her hair, and rock her against his chest until she had fallen asleep.
"No…" was what she had answered instead.
"Okay, well, I need to go now," he had said, his soft expression all gone.
"Yeah…," she had said after looking down at her parchment again. She hadn't wanted to remember that hard look on his face, when he had for the first time in a few days actually showed her some affection.
"Bye," he had said, biting his lips and turning around.
Lavender had stayed for a long time, replaying the "Did you say something?" in her head over and over again. Then she had started imagining how it should have been; she should have answered him with "I love you…" He should have laughed, pecked her cheek, and said, "I love you too, hun." In your dreams, baby, Lavender now often thought whenever she dwelled on these memories.
Then, the following night the end had come. All this time she had been doing her best to keep their relationship together. But when she saw him coming down the stairs, laughing, with Hermione, she simply couldn't hold it in anymore. It had ended with him yelling at her with a furious look in his eyes.
"It's too late, Lavender! We aren't right, we have never been right—why can't you see it? Damn, you and I should have broken up weeks ago!"
"Why didn't you break up with me then?" she had cried back, feeling tears pricking her eyes.
"Because you made me bloody believe we'd work!" he had answered without a hint of hesitation. "You made me think that we had a chance together, that we had something!"
"So it's my fault?" Lavender had yelled, now feeling her tears rolling like hot floods down her cheeks.
"Hell yes it is!" And with that Ron had walked away, pulling Hermione with him out of the common room.
Lavender had no memory of what had happened next, but she had some time after found herself in her bed, crying hard and wetting Parvati's sweater with a lot of tears. The next day she had been numb, not feeling anything. It was as if she had run out of emotions from crying for a whole night.
And now she was sitting all alone in an empty classroom. Not any classroom, but that classroom: the classroom where she and Ron had gone the night after the Quidditch match. The memories were not too much for her, she thought it would have hurt more being here. Well, it did hurt, remembering the memories, but in a good way. The pain made everything so much more endurable, like a healing painkiller. She couldn't stop thinking of Ron while she was here, even though it felt as though her heart would split. But seeing his face in her thoughts also made it so much more endurable, she realized. Then she could pretend that she still had him, that everything simply was a terrible nightmare.
But it wasn't. That struck her so hard all of a sudden. Now, the pain wasn't that bearable anymore, and she wished for nothing except to be someone else.
Thanks to mew and Hermoine Granger-Weasley for betareading this!