So I am going to change how new moon played out, just a bit though, I promise!!
Xxx
I sighed as I threw my bag the floor screaming for the millionth time since her death. I screaming her name, as loud as I could, I screamed and asked why she had done this to me, asked her why she had left me and sent me to this small pathetic town of lifeless souls. Scream at her to just let me go, to just set me free and let me live in the small house she left me back in Toronto.
"Paige?" Grandpa said coming into the room. He stared at me from where I sat in a crumpled pile in the corner of mom's old room. I only look up at him and continue to scream.
"There, there, I know you miss her like hell. We all do, but please try to understand how much she loved you, she wanted to do what was best for you, and leaving you to live alone in a big city would not have been best. You can go home on your eighteen birthday." He stated. Great I had to wait a year and a half before I could go home.
"I'm going to bed." I choked out pushing myself off the floor.
"Okay, that's alright, you go right ahead." He said following me to the side of the bed. "I enrolled you in high school, you can start whenever you feel ready."
"I'm going tomorrow." I said sitting down on the bed.
"Are you sure?" He asked. I just nodded. I needed something to get my mind off my mother.
"Well good-night kid." Charlie said awkwardly. I gave him a nod regretting the sudden movement of my head, it immediately triggered the waterworks, great just what I needed, more tears.
I stayed up till roughly four in the morning looking through her closet and drawers. I was about to go to bed when I noticed a piece of paper taped to the ceiling in her closet. In very neat hand writing in read: Don't believe anything I say to you tonight-E P.S- Under the floor boards…
I stared at the mysterious writing for a long moment. "E?" I whispered to myself. There was only one answer to the question of who this "E" is. Edward, my father.
My full name was Paige Esme Alice Rosalie Swan Cullen, or P.E.A.R.S as the kids at school call me ignoring the C from Cullen. I have not clue where the name Paige came from and when I asked mom would always reply "Just another page in the story hon."
"What story momma?" I would always ask.
"The story of life." She would always say and then go off about my father. Edward Anthony Mason Cullen.
I got down on my hands and knee and started my attempts at pulling the floor boards up out of the floor. I finally found a loose one and pulled it out. Under it was two pictures, a CD and a book, a diary to be exact.
I glanced at the pictures to find what was obviously the picture I had ever seen of my father and his god-like features. I would keep these pictures for always as a reminder. I would imagine myself standing in front of the happy couple or maybe in the arms of a loving father, but no, that would never happen. My father had no idea that I existed. I wasn't real in his book.
Last I looked at the diary. I sat on my bed and opened the first page, maybe this could be my break, maybe now I could figure out my mother's constant cryptic speech.
January 17
A diary or a journal as the therapist had put it. I needed to keep it. HE thought that if I wrote down my feelings maybe then I would realize what it's like to have them and start showing them maybe then I wouldn't be so pissed at the world; or at least that's what he said translated to the English language.
So anyway, I guess I better start writing anyway. I just got back from Jake's he's restoring the bike, I can't wait to get on it and heard his voice. Though of course, if Charlie finds out I'm going to be in a whole lot of trouble…though he did say that trouble was better than anything didn't he?
I didn't really notice that I was lifeless…Maybe I should pay closer attention to things…okay it's like eight in the morning so I have no clue why, I gotta go throw up, bye…
I sighed, it really did sound like my mother, with the mention of the death-bikes and Jacob, or Jake…and the whole lifeless thing wow. She was also oblivious to the fact that she was pregnant.
I fell asleep easily and dressed slickly in dark blue skinny jeans and I purple sweater that was slightly loose. I slipped on a pair of ballet flats and got in the old truck, another thing my mother had left me in her sickness.
I parked in the school parking lot next to a car that stood out rather boldly, a silver Volvo amongst all the cheap looking cars. I shook my head, some people were so full of it. I went straight to the office. An elderly lady smiled at me.
"Hello." She said.
"Hi I'm Paige Swan, I'm new here."
"Oh you must be Isabella's daughter, I am terribly sorry for your loss." She replied. "I'm surprised you came in today." I shrugged nonchalantly. I acted as though I didn't care that my mother had died only three days before, I acted this way for my own good.
"Well here's your schedule and a map of the school. I would also like you to have this form signed by all your teachers." She handed me a few papers.
I glanced at her desk where her name tag was sitting. "Thank you Mrs. Cope." I said.
My morning was very boring I already knew all this I took it in class at the beginning of the year. I made my way to the cafeteria with a girl that decided that because my mom was friends with her parents it was okay for her to talk my ear off, her name was Stacy Newton, daughter of Mike and Jessica. She was
"What's that book?" She asked glancing at the book under my arm.
"My mom's old diary." I said grasping it tighter.
"Cool." She said and continued to talk. I glanced around the cafeteria. Everyone was talking. Well almost everyone. A family in the far corner of the cafeteria – closest to the tablet that me and Stacy were obviously going to be forced to sit at – they were not talking. Or at least I thought they weren't. A small pixie-like girl with black spiky hair leaned forward and patted a boy with bronze hair on the shoulder smiling sympathetically. The small blonde boy repeated the girls actions.
"Paige?" Stacy asked. I looked at her and she tugged my arm dragging me to sit at the table next to the family.
I didn't buy a lunch, I wasn't hungry, mom always used to say that she wasn't surprised that I barely eat, slept or cried. Another one of her cryptic moments.
I opened the small black diary to the second page and saw the word PREGNANT bolded in caps a lot on the page. This is going to be interesting.
January 17
PREGNANT I am OMG PREGNANT!! One time with him in that stupid meadow nad he left me PREGNANT and alone with his half vampire child.
I choked on nothing sitting up straight at the words half-vampire Stacy glanced at me with a questioning expression.
"You okay there?"
"Uh, yeah…" think, think! "My mom was just giving the gory details on how I came to be." I said looking up. I noticed the small spiky-haired girl staring at me with a concerned expression. Her golden eyes looking over features as though I was a work of art, though of course, that was her and her blonde sister.
"Eww." Stacy said and then continued her conversation with a girl that was suddenly sitting with us.
I shook my head and returned to the book.
PREGNANT!! Just to clear it all up. I guess that's what I get from sleeping, if he could sleep, with a vampire. If only Alice knew…
I missed her and her black-spiky-wild-hair-do. I missed her pixie-like features and her visions. Her golden eyes and –I can't believe I'm about to say this- I miss her shopoholic, nothing can bring me down, attitude. I also missed her mate Jasper…
I can't even begin to think how Jazz feels right now, he probably blames himself for this whole thing. I missed him! His scares and his shortness... the way he could always make me feel better, and his bets with Emmett…
Emmett, oh dear Emmett, irritated grizzly on the outside, big soft teddy bear on the inside. I miss him so much. His curly hair and his unconditional scariness, he was so funny, he was probably the only Cullen to have a sense of humor when it came to the family. I also wished and still to this day wish I knew how he but up with Rosalie.
Sure I miss the hell out of Rose, she was my sister as much as Jasper was my brother, and I loved her. I loved her super-model figure and the way her blonde hair swayed in the wind never getting messed up, she was truly the most beautiful girl in the history of the planet, and yet she hated me, I loved her so much -- kind of a curse all Cullen's have on me — and she hated me so much!
Wow maybe this diary thing is working, I'm actually writing about the Cullen's and not minding it, I guess I have bigger things on mind. Hmmm, I wonder how much I can stretch this…Edward, okay I'm alright, Edward Cullen, still okay, Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, alright I' m still momentarily okay! Edward Cullen the love of my life and the father of my child!!
The page ended there it was ripped I could make out two words from the tares in the page, on top of all the swears and tear stains it read: Bad idea.
"So what's your mom writing about?" Stacy asked obviously not interested in the conversation with the girl next to her any more. "Oh this is Sarah, my sister, she's in grade ten." She waved the girl with a bored expression.
I smiled slightly. "So?" Stacy urged.
"Well my mom was writing about when she found out she was pregnant with me, and it didn't go so well seeing as my father had left like four months earlier. And she was just remembering a whole bunch of people, or actually a family, or at the least the kids that she's been trying to block out for the past months, and she was writing what she misses about them and then she realized that she wasn't crying, then she kept writing my father's name over and over and, well it didn't end well…" I showed them the torn page.
"Wow." Stacy said and then once again turned to her sister." I glanced at the table across from us again.
Black-spiky-wild-hair-do, pixie-like features and golden eyes, curly hair and unconditional scariness, his scares and his shortness, model figure and the way her blonde hair swayed in the wind never getting messed up, she was truly the most beautiful girl in the history of the planet, it was all there every one of them fit my mother's description, and the bronze haired one that faced away from me he for some reason looked familiar.
I pulled the picture out of my pocket and gasped. It was Edward Cullen, they were the Cullen's, this was the family that left me mother so long ago, this was family that gave me my vampire side of life. My strength, my agility, my hearing and my sight, it was given to me by the man that sat only a mere twelve feet away. My father.
A/N: Okay so this story has been bugging me so badly!! Ahh!! What do you think? Should I continue??