Title: Clownigami
Author: Ryoko no Shinigami
Warnings: Implied sexual acts. Gratuitous defilement of meditations with scalding-hot liquid beverage. Stereotyping of Quatre's pacifism and weakness, Trowa's defense of Quatre, Wufei's love of justice, Heero's inability to tell Duo about his feelings for him, and Duo's annoying nature. Also, I think I should warn against Duo's singing. Totally random insanity abounds.
Pairings: 2x3
Archives: Fanfiction.net. If you want it, please just ask. I'd be flattered, really.
Notes: I just let it all out. The idea came to me because most of my conversations with my friends end up in similar chaos.
Disclaimers: Don't own 'em. All I have is a radio, a TV/VCR, a small library of anime videos, and a dog. And exactly $3.28 american. That's not even enough to buy a Gundam Wing tape, so suing me is a real exercise in futility.
Dedication: To my friends, for being the most insane, crazy bunch. To Rystal and Chris especially, to one for reading my work just because it's my work, even though she could care less about Gundam Wing, and to Chris for laughing repeatedly at my jokes.
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Scene: Four Gundam pilots sit around a safe-house living room. Heero sits at a desk typing away on his laptop. Quatre leans against Trowa on the couch, reading a book. His cup of tea sits on a side table nearby. Wufei sits in the middle of the floor, meditating. All is quiet, until…Duo enters.
Duo singing: Yes, that's me, Shinigami. Master of insanity. Throw me away, no light of daaaaaay. I'm crazy, now you'll see!"
He ends on an upnote, with an elaborate gesture. He grins and looks around.
Duo: Hey, guys, how do you like my new theme song? Kinda catchy, ain't it?
Wufei: Hey, bakagami, keep your voice down.
Duo sputters with rage: Bakagami? God of idiots? Well, Wufei, I say you're just jealous 'cause I have a theme song and you don't. And because you have a receding hairline at fifteen.
Wufei: Shut up, idiot. I'm trying to meditate.
Duo: Hah! Fool, I am Shinigami, and you invoke my wrath!
Duo grabs Quatre's cup of tea from the side table and turns it upside down over Wufei's head.
Duo: Haha! I am Shinigami! Beware my wrath!
Wufei screams with rage: Aaargh! Injustice! You defile my meditations with your scalding-hot liquid beverage!
Quatre: That was my tea…
Wufei begins chasing Duo around the room in a murderous rage. Duo runs. He jumps over the side table and pushes it over in front of Wufei, who dodges. Heero turns from his computer to tell them off for making so much noise. Duo jumps into his lap and throws his arms around his neck. Heero is secretly pleased with this course of events.
Duo: Save me from him, Heero!
Wufei: Injustice!
All three of them start wrestling on the floor in a cloud of dust. Occasionally a hand, foot, or braid will appear before being yanked back in.
Quatre: You guys, we shouldn't be fighting!
The dust settles momentarily, revealing
Wufei strangling Duo with his braid, and Heero pulling back his fist to punch Wufei in the gut. All three look up from their various tasks of destruction.All together: Shut up, Quatre!
The dust rises again, hiding the three as they start fighting again.
Quatre begins crying: You guys…
Trowa stands up.
Trowa: You have made Master Quatre cry! You will now suffer the wrath of…Clownigami!
The other three stop fighting. They blink. They look at each other.
All together: Clownigami?
Duo: The…God of clowns?
Quatre blushes: Oh, Trowa, you know how I get when you call me Master Quatre…should we continue this…upstairs?
Trowa:…
Trowa takes Quatre's hand and leads him quickly from the room. The other three are left blinking at each other.
Heero: Well, that was…interesting…
They stand up. Suddenly, noises begin offstage.
Duo: Uh-oh. Uh…you guys wanna go for ice cream or…something?
The noises begin to grow louder. They all sweatdrop.
Heero: Sure, why not?
Wufei: Yeah, let's go. Just let me get my coat…
Heero: Ice cream…or…whatever…
They all rush offstage in the opposite direction of
Quatre and Trowa. The curtain falls.Fin