Disclaimer: Obviously, the characters in this one-shot are not mine, nor are any of the events that I reference. They all belong to the creators of "Gilmore Girls."
When you came back to town for your car and told me that you loved me, it was a shock to me. Not the fact that you felt it, it's just that you were never one for the spoken word. You ran away so fast, you didn't give me a chance to respond to you. I'm not sure what I would have said. Then you asked me to run away with you, and I said no. But then my life started going downhill. I slept with Dean, a married man. I broke up a marriage! I dropped out of Yale because of one negative comment, granted, it was a comment from a very important man in the world of journalism, but still. I was a coward, and I ran away. You've always known who I am, always known what I can do. When you came and visited me in Hartford, I caught the other end of our constant arguments from high school that you could do better, you had so much more potential. You told me that this wasn't me: living with my grandparents, working for the DAR, dating a guy like Logan, and especially no Yale. You were right. After you knocked sense into me, as you know, I moved back home, re-enrolled in Yale, but kept the boyfriend. Later on, quite a while after I visited you in Philadelphia, things started to change a lot more. I turned down a proposal from Logan, a match that my grandparents approved of so much, but it was a match that I was so unsure about. Do you know why I turned it down? Your voice in my head told me that it'd confine me to a life that I'd resent. I wouldn't be living up to my potential. I'd be living everyone's dreams but my own. I keep thinking about that night in Philadelphia. At first I'd thought that our kiss had solidified my feelings for Logan, that I couldn't be with anyone else, but I was wrong. I felt guilty about kissing you, yes, but I realized later that it wasn't because I'd cheated on Logan; it was because, as you said, you didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve being the "other man." But kissing you had felt so right; I realize that now. I still love you; I always did. When I went on the campaign trail for Barack Obama, I tried writing you letter after letter, but like when I was in Washington back in high school, I couldn't get the words out. So I write this now, in my mom's kitchen at 3 in the morning, when my mind apparently isn't stopping me in fear of sounding ridiculous. I know Luke knows where you are, so I hope you actually read this. I love you, Jess Mariano, and if it's not too late, I'd like to at least be friends again, and maybe more. I know you're coming to the wedding next month, so maybe we could talk then? I have no right to ask you for anything after the way I've treated you, but please at least consider letting me back into your life.