I float along the surface of the water, eyes closed. The water moving in sync with my floating pattern. Katara has been trying to help heal me, get me to reconnect with the spirit world, try to restore my past self.. Nothing was working, I've been in this water for a half hour with no results. Finally letting the frustration take over I push my eyes open and force myself to sit up throwing Katara off. Her face was masked with confusion and a little bit of pain. She knows losing connection with the avatar's means her husband , Aang , was gone. I could no longer enter the spirit world. "Did it work?" I turn to face the kind green eyes kneeling next to the small concrete pool of water. "No, it didn't." I sigh angrily. No matter how hard I try, nothings working. Maybe they really are gone forever. "I'm sure you'll be able to get into the spirit world soon, Korra." Bolin says placing his hand on my shoulder kindly. "Thank you, Bolin." I say standing up stepping out the water to retrieve my dry clothing. Piece by piece I put on my clothes until I'm fully dressed once again. "What's wrong with me.." I think to myself as I walk from the back room. "We can try again tomorrow." Katara says with a smile on her face. I shake my head no, "Its not working, so what's the point." I walk out into the cold of the southern pole. Naga getting to her feet comes to a slow pace beside me sensing something was wrong. The cold air dancing on my face, with every step it would it get worse. Left, right, left, right, that would continue until I got to where Tenzin had been staying since we've been here. "How'd it go? Are you back in touch with the past Avatar's?" He says approaching me, talking with speed. My head was throbbing with confusion and anger repeating the sentence "emWhat is wrong with me."/embr /"No. It didn't work." I was ready to give up on it all. No use in wasting everyone's time. Tenzin looked at me with disappointment. I could see it in his eyes. There was nothing I could do to push on this process. "Either way, you're still the Avatar and the world's going to need you regardless, Korra." br /I nod, he was right but to what extent can I protect the city if I can't connect with my past /"Let's just go back to Republic City, there's nothing more for me to do here." I say. I didn't dare to look up to face Tenzin. I could feel his eyes on me, waiting for what I would say next. "If we are leaving, go collect Bolin and we will head out soon as you are ready." He sighs turning away giving me a chance to look up. "Okay." I turn on my heels and begin to walk out the door. Back into the cold air and the snow. It had gotten worse in the matter of time I had been talking to Tenzin. It was almost impossible to see now. A figure appeared in the mist of the falling snow.. it was growing larger and right then I knew what it was. "Zaheer." It was a vision I knew it was. I had ended Zaheer weeks ago. I couldn't let it get to me. The large figure then turned into a human outline. Bolin. "Korra!" He picked up his pace approaching me. "We are leaving." I say crossing my arms hugging my chest. "Already? Okay." His voice not as cheerful as before. I was wasting Katara's time anyway. There were still people who had to be healed from the huge battle I had with my uncle. People flew here left and right to get to Katara and her team of healers. I was just another lost cause who was looking for answers that she couldn't give. The way back Bolin was silent. When we reached Tenzin he had already packed up Oogi with our things. WIth Bolin's help I had gotten onto the Bison, Bolin had joined and with a swift "Yip Yip" Oogi was in the air on it's way back to Republic City.
It was the middle of the night when we returned to Air Temple island. Pema was quick to great her husband. I couldn't stop myself from wondering to where Mako was. It was late, yes but I expected him to be here. Moving pass the thought I say my good nights to Bolin and head over to my room. Sleep was awaiting me, but so was stress. Was it worth it? Was saving the city worth losing my connection with the past avatar's? Yes. It was, I saved the world at a cost. Tossing and turning I fighting myself with thoughts. Back and forth. Until morning came. I didn't want to drag myself out of the bed when the sun peered threw the windows. It took serious motivation to even stand up. After putting my clothes on I stepped outside of my room and walked down the corridor. As it opened up into the dinning area I find everyone there, waiting for me. Tenzin, Pema, the kids, Bolin, My parents, even Lin. Even with a second glance I didn't see Mako. What was the problem this time. I stood there for an awkward sixty seconds before my father broke the silence. "Since you fought Zaheer, we all have seen a difference in your..behavior." He says with concern in his voice. Since I've regained my ability to walk they have been all over me about my visions. "Nothing is wrong with me!" I yell angrily fed up with. "No one is saying there is something wrong with you, Korra."
""Then what are you all doing here, this is some type of intervention? Well guess what, I'm totally fine!" I yell grabbing my jacket throwing it over head and marching out of the room into the fresh air. It felt like I was being closed in by all of their concerning faces, sending me over the edge into a blank space. Concealing me. Trapping me. Looking over at the city not far off I give off a deep breath. I knew it was time for me to leave. I had to get out of here some where some how. And I needed to get out of here fast. My attention turns toward Naga. The polar bear dog wouldn't be able to travel as far as I needed to get too. It was well out of her range. I wish I could take her with me. My next option would be Oogi. That was the only other option. Oogi the air benders sky bison. Quickly I move over to the sky bison, climbing onto the bison, I softly speak the words "Yip, Yip" Sending it into the air and well on it's way.
"Oogi lets out a large yawn waking me from my slumber. He had taken me far from Republic City, all the way to the home of the metal clan. Zaofu. The large metal shutters were being lowered down. No telling how long I have been in the air. I had fallen to sleep to be awoken by nightmares that had trapped me in the dream world. It wasn't fair, but I had to deal with it, until I fought my way out. I land Oogi as I am told from the metal clans police force. I carefully hop off as I notice to hunger growing inside. "Korra?" Suyin meets me first, "What are you doing back, are you okay?" She seems to notice me staring off into the distance. "I'm fine, I just needed to get away from Republic City for a while." I say with a fake smile placed on my face. "Stay as long as you like, you are more than welcome to stay." She says with a smile on her face then leaving with her two youngest sons Wing and Wei
"Getting to the room I was staying in I finally could let it all go. The built up pain that I had been feeling on the walk there caused my eyes to blur once I finally relaxed my body. I sat down on the green bed throwing my head back in relief. It wasn't all gone, but it was better than nothing. The room was nice, much like the one I had stayed in before. Green curtains, pillow cases, couches. Silver walls, hard wood floors shinning. It was a nice room just for a vist. A knock on the door knocked me out of my train of thought. I hope Suyin didn't inform Tenzin that I was here. That would throw everything off. This long trip would be for nothing. I stand up from the bed grabbing the door handle pulling it open. Too my satisfaction it wasn't Tenzin, or anyone I had expected at first. It was Wei. "What do you want?" I say, I wasn't wanting to talk to anyone at the moment. I just wated to be alone. "You aren't okay. Are you?" He says stepping inside without me inviting him. He closes the door behind him as I take a few steps back. "I'm perfectly fine, I have no idea what you mean." I play it off as my heart begins to race. What did he care anyway. Why was he even here, to get more information about me from Suyin? I turn around and begin to walk away from the door when he shuts it, "You don't have to lie, Korra." That sentence stops me in my place. I had just made it obvious that I really wasn't okay, I was lying. I needed to tell someone. I couldn't let it out to Tenzin, he would stay on me. Watching my every move.
"Do you understand all the pressure im under as the Avatar? It's not easy having to fight villains who just think they can waltz into the world and try to take it over. Or destroy it. The stress is too much and I don't.. I can't deal with it all. It's just too much. My friends try to help me but they just don't understand, because at the end of the day there isn't a team avatar it's just the avatar!" I let my words rush out, my eyes start to water. My heart starts beating faster than it was originally. Wei's face was shocked. Maybe a little bit of sympathy. That's not what I wanted, I wanted someone to just listen to me. Why was that so hard to do. Before I knew it Wei had wrapped his arms around me tightly. Moving my arms around his waist I lay my head into his chest. "I don't know whats wrong with me." I begin to sob again. His hold tightens as he speaks, " Nothings wrong with you, Korra." I feel his arms leave from around me as he turns to open the door. "Thanks, Wei." I flash a smile as he leaves. Soon as the door closes I lay down on the bed closing my eyes drifting asleep.
"The sunlight peers through the green curtains. Waking me up, the fact I didn't come to a nightmare last night brought a smile onto my face. Getting up I walk to the bathroom looking into the mirror. I let my hair fall a little past my shoulders and begin to brush it out. For a second I look down at the sink then back up to find Zaheer's face in the corner. The fear strikes deep into me. I turn throwing a gust of fire. Once the flames clear it's reviled Zaheer was never there. I'm never going to get better.. the thought of it sends me to my knees. I don't cry, I just think of myself as a failure. Someone who's never going to recover from a horrible thing that has happened. I sit there my hands in my lap looking down at the tiles in the bathroom...