Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing. I'm borrowing them from Janet Evanovich…although I'd rather like to keep Ranger.

This is a Babe story, even if it doesn't seem like one in the beginning…I was just listening to The Hard Way, by Faith Hill, and I got an idea for a fanfic. I posted this about a week ago, as a songfic, but then found out you can't post lyrics. Anyway, this is now a fanfic, without the song, but if you feel like finding out what inspired it, you can go look up the lyrics online or listen to the song or some such thing. Also, I apologize if the writing style sucks, or if I screw up the characters completely. I hope I'll write nicely and keep everyone in character, but it seems impossible to do it exactly right…

Tiny mention of Visions of Sugarplums, but not enough that you can't read it without having read that book.

The Hard Way

I never learn! I should have listened to everyone's warning. Of course, their warnings came a little late. My name is Stephanie Plum, AKA The Bombshell Bounty Hunter. Up until a few months ago, I had an on-again off-again relationship/engagement/we were both denying that we didn't feel the way necessary to get married, type thing with Joseph Morelli. But, a month ago, I finally realized when he proposed for real (or anyway, it seemed a lot more real than his first proposal, so I assumed it was real), that I wasn't in love with him. I was, in fact, in love with one Ricardo Carlos Manoso, AKA Ranger, AKA Batman. Not only did I have no intention to marry Joe, but I also figured out that Ranger definitely wasn't going to pursue me for real if I was in a relationship with Joe.

And so….I dumped Joe. Told him it was over, for real this time, but I hoped we could still be friends. He was surprised at first, then angry, then just resigned. A few weeks ago, he actually called me and told me I was right, and he wasn't in love with me, he just loved me. I felt the same way, so it made sense to me, but it didn't to everyone else, when I told them why we'd broken up. Whatever.

When Joe, a few weeks ago, told me that he understood and all that, I was on my way to my parents' house for dinner. I must have had a strange expression on my face (don't ask what it was, I wasn't even aware of it) because when I went into the house, my mother immediately asked what was up (not in those words, of course, but you get the picture). Earlier that day, I'd decided that if Ranger didn't do anything in about a week, I was just going to talk to him. Probably I'd chicken out, but he didn't seem to be pursuing me actively. What I now know is that I was in denial, but at the time I thought he wanted me. Anyway, the point is, because I knew that everyone would find out eventually that I was doing all this to get Ranger, I just told my family right then that I was in love with someone else and had ended the relationship to get a chance with the man I actually loved. I didn't say names, of course, but my grandmother (with her ever present tactfulness) immediately asked if I was trying to get 'that bounty hunter with the great package.' I didn't bother answering, not that I even had time. My mother jumped in right away with warnings, telling me that Ranger wasn't a good man to pursue. Not only was he not Italian, he had no marriage prospect, and he actually supported my 'idiotic job' (shudder). Apparently, he's the worse possible person for me. At this point, I just left (astounding, seeing as how there was pineapple upside down cake for dessert. I still wonder at it now. I plead temporary insanity)

So now, two weeks after the aborted dinner, I'm in my apartment being sulky.

Let me explain. Today, I walked into the office and, lo and behold, there was Ranger. I walked over and, after getting my folders for my skip, I told Ranger I needed to talk to him. Out we went into the alley and…well; let's just say my mouth was occupied with something other than talking. I finally managed to regain my breath (and my mind, which had temporarily turned to mush), and I pushed him away a few steps.

"Babe?" He sounded curious, if that was possible, and also amused.

"Look, as you probably know, I broke up with Morelli a while ago." He gave me a 'this matters, why?' look, which I chose to ignore. True, we'd broken up more times than I could count, but that was beside the point right now. "For real this time. The reason I did it was because I realized I don't love him." Ranger was still watching me, though now his face was blank, so I couldn't even tell his reaction. "The reason why is that I love someone else." Still no reaction. I was about to inform him that I loved him, when it finally sank in that he didn't care. I shouldn't be surprised of course. I mean, it wasn't like I'd forgotten the time he told me that he didn't do relationships.

To tell the truth, it kind of made me mad. At him, partially, for always leading me on, but also at myself. I mean, was I such an idiot that I couldn't tell that all he cared about as far as I was concerned was the attraction? Sure, he'd said he loved me once, but it was in his own way. And, based on the fact that it was said about the same time that he told me I was entertainment, I'm not going to give it much weight.

Knowing that I didn't want him to keep kissing me if he didn't love me (well, ok, that's dumb. Any woman within a twenty mile radius wants him to kiss her. But I didn't want him to keep playing with me like this), I lifted my chin. "So, what I'm trying to say is, I don't want you to kiss me or touch me or anything like that anymore."

I saw his jaw tighten, and then he gave a tight, jerky nod, before turning and walking stiffly away. I didn't really understand why he was angry about it; after all, he was probably expecting (along with most of Trenton) me to marry Morelli. Had he planned to keep making out with me in alleys once I was married?

Now I'm lying on my bed (I'm all cried out for now), eating a tub of Ben and Jerry's, and pondering the suckiness of life.

RANGER'S POV

My babe was in love with someone else. I'd thought for a moment, when she was telling me that she'd broken up with Morelli, that she was then going to tell me that the reason why was that she loved me. But no, right when I'd hoped that she'd say that the someone else was me, instead she said, basically, that she didn't want me around her. One word: Ouch.

I guess it's logical. After all, if you're in love with someone else, you don't want someone else constantly jumping you, but still: when I'd been hoping for something completely different, it was a harsh blow.

So now, I was sitting here in 'the Batcave' (that name made me think of Stephanie, so I guess I'd have to never call it that again), considering the merits of getting drunk versus going out and getting some skips.

I heard a knock and, before I could respond in any way, the door opened and Tank walked in. He took a look at me (I was laying on the couch, feeling depressed), then shook his head.

"What's up?" He came and stood over me, looking down at me curiously and, if I hadn't been so hopeless it would make me mad, with pity.

"Stephanie loves someone else. That's why she broke up with Morelli. And she never wants to see me again." (Ok, so the last bit was exaggerating a bit, but it was basically true. I couldn't be around her without touching her, so I'm pretty much exiled from her presence. Life sucks) I decided to share that last revelation with Tank. "Life sucks."

Tank looked like he didn't know whether to be amused or feel sorry for me. Frankly, either one would probably get him punched, and he seemed to realize this, because he put on a blank face. "Who's she in love with?"

I sat up now, glaring at him. "How should I know? You think I waited and looked for details about her 'true love' after being told to go away?"

Tank shrugged. "Seems like it would have been a good thing to do. What if it's you?"

Preposterous. "Yeah, and that's why she told me to take a hike when she had the perfect opportunity to do something about it."

"I've seen the way she looks at you, Ric. Either it's you, or she's got three men in her life."

"What about that blonde guy I heard about that one Christmas?" I'd been gone at the time, of course, but I'd still heard about him.

"I haven't seen him since. I think that even if there was something, he's gone."

"So? Maybe she's dumping Morelli and going to find him. If she loves him, she would." And if she loves him, I wanted him dead. Not really: I wouldn't heart the person Stephanie was in love with, but I definitely loathed him now.

"Ric, just go talk to her. You need to clear all this up. At least so you know who to kill."

It was obvious he was trying to cheer me up with that last sentence, but it didn't work. With a sigh, I heaved myself off the couch and shrugged. "I'll go into her apartment. If she's awake, we'll talk. If she's not, I'll just leave and let her get on with her life." And pretend I'm capable of getting on with mine.

I left before Tank could say anything else, and in ten minutes I was outside her apartment building. I easily let myself in and went into her bedroom. She was asleep. I'm not sure if I was glad or not. On the tiny chance that Tank was right, I'd just lost my chance to find out. But, if Tank was wrong (or rather, because Tank was wrong) I didn't have to get rejected again.

I walked to her bed and looked down at her, surprised to see evidence that she'd cried herself to sleep. As far as I could tell, that wasn't the action of a woman who'd just gotten rid of a burden. A tiny bit of hope unfurled inside of me. Maybe Tank was right. Then the hope got squashed: I'd said I'd leave if she was asleep, which she clearly was.

Surprised to discover that there were tears in my own eyes (I can't remember the last time I've cried.), I turned away, blinking rapidly to banish the tears without letting them fall. I had just reached her bedroom door when I heard movement. I hesitated a moment, then turned around when I heard her call my name.

She was sitting up, looking at me strangely. "Why are you here?"

I took a deep breath. "Who do you love?"

She blinked, obviously not expecting that question. "Wh-what?"

"You said you love someone else. Is it that blonde guy from Christmas? Or someone else?"

She seemed stunned. "I…but…what?"

I sighed. "Stephanie, I promise to leave you alone after this, but I just want to know who it is that you're in love with. Since it's not Morelli, or you'd have married him, and it's not me, obviously, who is it? I always kinda figured it would be one of us and now I'm curious who it actually was." Curious was definitely not how I felt, but I decided that telling her I wanted to go kill someone probably wouldn't make her likely to open up.

"Not you? What?"

I was now wondering if she was tired, or just confused. Probably both, because it didn't seem like that hard of a concept. Luckily, she spoke again before I tried to explain again.

"Why do you think there's someone else?"

Ok, scratch my last comment. Obviously I needed to explain yet again. "Babe, you dumped Morelli. That is sort of a sign that you don't love him. Then you told me to stay away from you, which is a pretty obvious sign that you don't love me. And you said that you dumped Morelli to go be with someone else. I want to know who that 'someone else' is."

Stephanie stood up now and I had to focus on her face and not the fact that she was just wearing a stretchy t-shirt and underwear.

She walked over to me. "Ranger, there isn't anyone else."

Ok, now I was the one that was confused. However, that stubborn hope was coming back. Apparently I hadn't killed it thoroughly enough, and it was just going to keep coming up and getting beaten back until I got a name from Stephanie. "Babe?"

"I love you, Ranger. That's why I dumped Morelli. But you obviously don't love me, that's why I said to leave me alone."

Whoa…wait. What? "Babe, what are you talking about? I do love you. I've even told you that before."

Stephanie snorted. "Yeah, 'in your own way', whatever that means."

I shook my head. I couldn't believe this was the whole problem. Talk about miscommunication. "I love you completely. Everyway that's possible, except motherly or fatherly love, I guess. But the point is, I'm in love with you. There is no 'in my own way'."

Stephanie looked hopeful and doubtful at the same time. Strange combination. "But you also said you don't do relationships."

"No, I said my life doesn't lend itself to relationships. Relationships aren't easy with my lifestyle, but I'm more than willing to try. I just never knew you loved me."

Now Stephanie was smiling. "Well then, you're an idiot." I knew she was at least half-joking.

Still, it seemed like I could think of a lot better things for her to do with her mouth than tease me. Since we'd just said we loved each other, I figured the whole 'don't touch me' rule was gone. So, I just smiled, pulled her against me, and kissed her.

Stephanie pulled back a moment and smiled. "So I take it this means you retract your promise to leave me alone?"

I just grinned and kissed her again.

A/N: Crappy ending, I know. I'm sorry. I'm not very good at ending stories…but, I hope you liked it, despite the terrible ending and the fact that the whole thing wasn't all that good…Also, I know they are out of character, but it's my first one (as I said). So, please R&R and, if you're going to comment on the out of character-ness, please also tell me what you found out of character so I don't do it again and my next fanfic can have Ranger and Stephanie be more…Ranger and Stephanie-ish, respectively. Thanks :)