"I'm telling you, he's just too innocent!" Jack tried to explain to his friends as he gestured to the studying form of Haiden 'Hiccup' Haddock.
He, Astrid Hofferson, Rolanda 'Ruffnut' Thorston, and Theodore 'Tuffnut' Thorston were sitting in the school library having a hushed conversation about an old argument that the freckled, brown-haired boy had dredged up again simply by being there. "He never swears, he never gets mad at anyone, he never even complains! It has to be an act!" Jack concluded, crossing his arms as he waited for the rebuttal that was sure to come.
Astrid Hofferson eyed her childhood friend doubtfully and said, "I dunno. He was like that all through primary and middle school too."
"An established alibi! Even better! Sure he used to be like that, but he grew out of it and started using the facade of the person he once was as a disguise! The devil wearing a shed snake skin!" Jack proclaimed in a loud whisper, trying to remain inconspicuous.
"How poetic." Ruffnut drawled, earning a small glare from Jack, but before he could say anything Tuffnut objected, "Hey, I was gonna say that!"
"Well I said it first, rock-for-brains! Shoulda thought of it before I did!" Ruffnut countered, glaring at him, and he replied angrily, "I did, butt-munch! You stole it from me!"
"Did not, troll-face!" Ruffnut yelled, and Tuffnut yelled back, "Did too, zit-queen!"
"Marsh-breath!" one nearly screamed, and, "Spider-butt!" the other did scream.
They ended up on the floor, wrestling.
Their nicknames came from the fact that they were rough, tough, and nuts. You know, just in case you missed that.
"He's not manipulative enough to know how to misdirect someone." Astrid continued as if the twins hadn't started their usual shenanigans, wondering silently how they hadn't been kicked out of the library yet, "The best he could do is stutter and try to change the subject. He's just too...too..."
"Innocent?" Jack prompted, eyeing her with the widest eyes he could manage, and Astrid glowered at him before correcting defiantly, "Moral."
"Same thing." Jack said dismissively, waving a hand as if to bat the synonym away, "And anyway, the mark of a good manipulator is that you don't know they can manipulate."
"Well then, how can we tell if he's a manipulator or just a regular person?" Astrid asked, mostly to humor him but also a bit curious of his answer.
She would be disappointed.
"All we need is an intricate plan involving a cupboard, and bike lock, and the boy or girl he's interested in. Now, the bike lock'll be easy, and we can use any old cupboard, but we'll need to do a bit of manipulating ourselves to find who he's interested in. This will involve a carefully-constructed plan involving maple syrup and supportive friends helping him clean...Astrid?" Jack questioned, looking around for the absent blond. He spotted her over on the other side of the room, talking to Hiccup.
Oh dear.
Jack rocketed out of his seat and crossed to her in an instant, taking in her slightly puzzled look and Hiccup's faux-innocent gaze. With lots of nervous laughter Jack tugged the girl away from the manipulator, apologizing for the bother and turning to go. A hand, holding the collar of his shirt, stopped him.
Jack turned around in time to have Hiccup wrap his arms around his neck and go up on his tiptoes so his mouth was near Jack's ear. Astrid stepped closer to hear as he began whispering.
"Astrid told me your suspicions, Jacky-boy, and I'm a bit insulted. How on Earth could you ever think I'm manipulating everyone?" he murmured softly in that high, innocent voice of his, "Honestly, not as innocent as I seem? Oh, please. It's not as if it's all an act to get you to fuck me."
Jack stiffened at the words, but Hiccup continued, "You act as if I want you to push me against the wall and ravish my mouth and neck with your lips, working ever lower until you finally take my throbbing dick into your mouth. You act as if I want you to pound me into the wall until I can't stand without shaking, until I can't even hear your name without moaning in want, until I'm filled to the brim with your cum."
Jack was breathing much heavier by this point, and a problem was making itself known inside his jeans.
"Isthat what you think, Jack?" Hiccup asked innocently as he pulled back from whispering in his ear, looking up at him with wide green eyes. Jack gazed down at Hiccup with a clouded mind, unable to answer, and Hiccup gave the smallest of sighs before retrieving his arms and recovering his already-packed bag. He quickly left the library, leaving behind a twitching blond girl and a fiercely-blushing white-haired boy.