Insecure

By: Huntress-X

Authors note: This is a story I did last Christmas (2008) as a secret santa on aarinfantasy, hope you all enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own the characters used in this fanfiction. I do NOT make any money of this so please don't sue!

Shinobu had been acting strange lately. Miyagi had always thought that the boy had his own way about things, but lately he had been more difficult than normal.

Usually Shinobu would try to spend as much time with him as he possibly could. Even though he now lived only one door down the hall, he still spent most of his nights over at Miyagi´s place. But lately he had been avoiding him, blaming school for the lack of time that they spent together. Miyagi knew better though; he was acting the same way he had after finding that picture of sensei.

It could not still be about sensei could it?

They had already been over that more than once; he had even put the picture of him and sensei in an album, and the album was currently in a box in his study. He had not looked at it at all since he had taken Shinobu to the grave, so what could it be?

Miyagi stood up and put down the book he had been reading. He could not concentrate anyway, and that really annoyed him. It was not his fault Shinobu was acting the way he did! He had gone over everything he had done and said in the past month and nothing he could remember could have caused Shinobu´s behavior.

He sighed as he went over to get his third beer for the evening. This was really no way to deal with problems, he knew that very well, but when it came to Shinobu he could not think straight. He would get confused and suddenly all common sense would be gone.

Damn him and his teenage hormones! Why couldn't he just tell him what was wrong? If he had something on his mind he should just come out and say it!

Another sigh escaped his lips as he sat back down, opening the beer, drinking almost all of it at the first taste.

He could feel another headache coming on; he had been having a lot of those lately.

He knew he was all out of aspirin, he knew Shinobu was home and he knew that the only way to stop the headaches was to find out what was wrong.

"How did I end up like this again?" he mumbled to himself as he grabbed his key and headed for the door. He had changed his mind twice about going over before he finally knocked on his lover's door. He was about to knock again when the door opened slightly and he could see Shinobu peeking out.

"Miyagi?" He looked a little shocked to see the other man, but Miyagi ignored it.

"I'm out of aspirin. Want to help an old man out?" He tried to sound as normal as he could.

"Aspirin? ...Of course, please wait," he said and closed the door.

Miyagi just blinked. He was not even going to let him inside? This was ridiculous! What was he playing at? Just a few weeks ago he had been screaming his head off saying that Miyagi never came over and when he finally did he would not even let him in?

He could hear how the safety chain was removed, and soon the door once again opened.

"How many do you need?" Shinobu asked, keeping his eyes on the small jar of pills while waiting for a response.

Before he knew it Miyagi had pushed his way into the apartment, locked the door behind them and was now pinning him towards the wall. The young boy looked up at Miyagi in shock.

"What are you doing?!" He tried to get away, but Miyagi was keeping a firm grip around his wrists. "Let me go!"

"I won't let you go until you tell me what the hell is wrong with you!"

"There is nothing wrong with me, what are you talking about?!"

"You know very well what I am talking about, the way you have been acting lately, what is going on?!"

Shinobu looked away blushing. Had he really been that obvious? Miyagi liked having his private time, so he had just assumed that he would not notice anything. He should have known better though the older man was no fool. That was one of the reasons why he had fallen in love with Miyagi in the first place.

All those times in the library, watching him, borrowing books he had seen him read, hoping to one day meet him. But when that wish had come true it had been nothing like what he had hoped for... his sister's fiancé, her husband, her lover...

"There is nothing going on..." he lied.

"You are a terrible liar," Miyagi said. "If nothing is wrong then look at me"

Shinobu raised his eyes and forced himself to meet Miyagi´s. He could feel how his face became even redder then it already was. Miyagi was right, he was a terrible liar. If his voice did not betray him then his face sure did.

"Tell me." Miyagi´s voice was stern and much colder than usual, but at the moment he just wanted to know what was wrong.

"It's just..." Shinobu began, once again breaking eye contact. "I don't...want..."

"You don't want what?"

"Never mind!" Shinobu managed to get himself free from Miyagi´s grip and walked away towards his bedroom. "Just leave it alone, you have to go now, I have to study for a test!"

This time Miyagi decided that it was enough. He pushed Shinobu down on the bed and quickly got on top of him, making sure that he could not move or get away. This was so similar to what had happened the first time they had been in bed together, and that scared him. He had been just as angry and irritated that time, almost hurting the boy badly.

"Isn't it you who always claims to be an adult?!" he screamed, ignoring the scared eyes looking up at him. "Why don't you start acting like one then?!" He pressed Shinobu harder down on the bed. "Adults talk. They talk about the things that bother them, so act like one for once and tell me!"

"I DON'T WANT YOU TO COMPARE US!" The words had escaped his lips before Shinobu realized what he had just said. Miyagi just looked down at him, a confused look on his face.

"I don't want you..." Shinobu started feeling the tears burning his eyes; this was such an embarrassment. "I don't want you to compare me to my sister"

The confused look on Miyagi´s face was replaced by a shocked one. Compare him? To his sister? Did he really think that he did that?

"I heard her talking to her friend on the phone," Shinobu continued. "I heard her say that all men compare their lovers, and that she thought that you had a new one. And if that was the case, you would be comparing your new lover to her, just like she did with you and her new boyfriend." A tear left his eye and landed on the pillow below. "She's older, more...more experience... and I don't want you to think about her when..." Shinobu did not get a chance to finish his sentence as Miyagi´s lips covered his mouth. The kiss was intense and seemed to end way too soon for the both of them.

"I would never compare you to your sister because there is nothing to compare," Miyagi said loosening his tight grip on the younger boy. "The relationship I shared with her is nothing like this one, she has never entered my mind when I have been with you, never once."

"But..."

"You should not listen to other people's conversations; they tend to say some really stupid things."

"So you have never...?"

"Never." He closed the distance between himself and Shinobu and captured his lips in another kiss.

Shinobu opened his mouth allowing Miyagi´s tongue inside. He could feel the older man explore him like so many times before; he matched Miyagi´s movements letting their tongues connect.

A moan escaped the young boy's lips as his lover started to undress them both, throwing their clothes on the floor in a happy mess.

"Insecurity makes you even cuter, you know that?"

Shinobu was about to protest but was cut off as Miyagi got a hold of his member stroking it lightly.

"Really cute."

Miyagi kissed his lover on the mouth before he started to do a trail of kisses down his throat stopping at his chest. He took the left nipple in his mouth teasing it, as he tightened his grab on the growing member in his hand, quickening the pace.

"Miyagi, no, I'm gonna..." Shinobu manage to say between moans. If Miyagi kept going he would not be able to control himself; it just felt so good. He arched his back and made a quick movement pushing his hips forward.

"You're going to what?" Miyagi asked, smiling at the younger man below him.

"Don't tease me."

"As you wish then." Miyagi moved down, kissing his way down over Shinobu´s stomach down to his now fully erected member. He let his tongue wander up and down the throbbing shaft enjoying the moans his lover was making. When he decided that he had teased the boy enough he moved down taking everything he could into his mouth. He kept his left hand steady on Shinobu´s hips as his right hand moved under the boy finding his sensitive entrance.

Shinobu let out a cry as he felt a finger slip inside of him. As a second one followed, he knew that he could not take this treatment for much longer. Miyagi´s hot mouth around him and his fingers stretching him, it was all too much, he was so hot he could not take it anymore.

"Miyagi!" He could feel himself explode into his lover's mouth. His whole body relaxed and he lay flat back on the bed, trying to catch his breath. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. He had been planning on warning Miyagi before he was about to come, but he had not manage to say a word.

Miyagi swallowed almost all the white substance but some dripped down his chin. He ignored the sorry he was given and put his lips on Shinobu´s, catching him in a passionate kiss.

Shinobu put his arms around Miyagi´s neck pulling him closer, deepening the kiss. The taste if Miyagi, the taste of himself, feeling the older man's body pressed against him, he could never get enough of it. Soon the warm feeling in his stomach returned and he could feel himself getting hard once again.

Miyagi broke the kiss and smiled as he felt Shinobu´s member getting hard again. He himself was so hard that it was almost painful, and he had decided that it was time. He carefully lifted Shinobu´s hips so that he could place his throbbing member at the young boy's entrance. He then slowly pushed forward not stopping until he was fully inside.

The feeling of Shinobu´s tight walls around him was almost too much, and he quickly started to move in and out of the tight hole.

Shinobu grabbed a hold of Miyagi´s strong arms as he started to move within him. The pain soon faded and he was able to move along with his lover moaning at each powerful thrust.

Feeling Miyagi inside of him and having his member moving against the older man's trained stomach, it felt so good he could not described it. He always wished that he could express what he felt in words when they made love, but the only thing that would leave his mouth were moans and whimpers, and saying it afterward would just be too... well strange, perhaps someday he would say it, but not right now.

Miyagi started to go faster as he felt his orgasm approach. He was glad that Shinobu did not hurt as much anymore, [and] that meant that he did not need to hold back. At the moment though, it felt way too good to be holding back, even if Shinobu asked him to stop he doubted that he could.

The sound of Shinobu´s moans and the feeling of him all around his hardness was soon too much. He grabbed a hold of his young lover's member and started to tease it as he started to go even faster.

He could hear himself make an all too familiar sound as he came deep inside of Shinobu, keeping his hand going until Shinobu joined him, coming hard.

Shinobu once again relaxed against the bed as Miyagi rested on top of him. They were both breathing heavily, completely relaxed and satisfied. Miyagi carefully rolled over so that he was lying beside Shinobu. However, it did not take long for the younger boy to curl up beside him, putting his small head on his chest sighing deeply.

"Still feeling insecure?" Miyagi asked, smirking in the dark.

"I am never insecure," Shinobu muttered back.

"Really? Well you could have fooled me."

"Miyagi?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I know." A large hand found its way up to ruffle Shinobu´s golden brown hair. "I love you too you insecure brat."

"Shut up!"

"Make me."

"What?"

Miyagi rolled on top of the boy kissing him hard.

"I said make me."

Soon the room was once again filled with the sound of the two lovers' playful dance. All the insecurity seemed to have left the room; at that moment it was just the two of them. No one else, just them, in body, mind and soul.

The End