"Pop! Goes The Weasel"
( ) -- Setting
' ' -- Thoughts
- - -- Action
---- -Lyrics + As if you couldn't tell... +
" " -- Speaking + Did I really need to say that+
REPEATING +
A WARNING
This. Is. A. Silly. Fic.
If you are opposed to the shameless misuse of Rurouni Kenshin's cutest pair (plus Yahiko), or you lack a sense of humor, I suggest you leave.
THAT IS ALL +
--All around the cobbler's bench--
- Two different blurs are running circles around the kitchen of the Aoiya, both yelling and cursing at the tops of their lungs -
- One blur is mostly blue, with pale legs flailing wildly -
- The other is green and yellow and brandishing a shinai, screaming "ITACHI! ITACHI!" -
--The monkey chased the weasel--
- Okina, Okon, Omasu, Shiro, Kuro, Kenshin, Kaoru, Sano, and - guess who? - Aoshi are sitting there on the floor, trying to enjoy a cup of tea. -
- Sano and Okina both have sake, are the tiniest bit tipsy (an understatement), and are betting on the two different blurs. -
- The green-and-yellow blur is laughing wildly. -
--The monkey thought 'twas all in fun--
- The green-and-yellow blur turns around, shinai raised, to laugh at his pursuer when... -
--Pop! goes the weasel!--
- WHAM! -
- A chibified Misao lands a flying side kick on his head. -
- Yahiko lies twitching under a triumphant Misao. -
--------------------------------------------------- VERSE CUT -----------------------------------------------------------------
--I've no time to wait and sigh--
- Misao and Aoshi are sitting in the dining area of the Aoiya, drinking tea in silence. -
- Alright, so Aoshi's the silent one. -
- Misao's chattering on and on until she jumps up randomly. -
Misao: I've HAD IT!
--No patience to wait 'til by and by--
Misao: SOO tired of waiting!
- Aoshi looks horrified for a moment, deathly afraid she's going to tell him she is tired of waiting for his affection. -
- He doesn't have to wait and suffer long because...
Misao: I'm BORED!
--So kiss me quick, I'm off -- good-bye!--
- Before the startled former Okashira can say or do anything, Misao plants a good one straight on his lips. -
--Pop! goes the weasel!--
Misao: YAY! I did it!
Aoshi: Misao... is chibi for the first time in his life
- All the other occupants of the Aoiya's dining area - the Oniwaban, the Kenshin-gumi, and total strangers - applaud as Misao gives a thumbs-up and bounces away. -
Misao/shrieking in glee\
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--A penny for a spool of thread--
- Megumi is trying, TRYING to teach Kaoru and Misao to sew. -
- Frankly, it would be easier trying to teach a carp. -
- At least the carp wouldn't be swearing... -
Misao: DAMN IT ALL! pokes self again
Kaoru/much more composed\ Ditto...
--A penny for a needle--
- Kenshin wanders in, gets one look at the slightly disturbing scene and wanders right back out. -
Kenshin: Oro... Miss Kaoru and Miss Misao certainly are making... progress...
- Kenshin knows full well that he is lying through his teeth as he totters down the hall for some sake. -
--That's the way the money goes--
Megumi: MISAO! YOU WILL BE BUYING ME A NEW SET OF NEEDLES!
- Misao, bored by now and sporting ten bandaged fingers, takes a handful of needles and throws them at the wall, where they stick like kunai. -
- Aoshi, who is in the next room, minding his own business and reading, suddenly feels eight simultaneous pinpricks in his back and neck. -
- Swearing under his breath, he closes his book and heads for the hallway. -
- As he opens the door, he is greeted by an insane-asylum-type sight. -
--Pop! goes the weasel!--
- Misao jumps up and sprints for the door, arms and legs flailing every which way. -
Kaoru and Megumi: MISAO, LOOK OUT!
- But it's too late. -
- Aoshi holds up his hands to delay the impact, but... -
- WHAM! -
- Misao runs headlong into him. -
- Aoshi's arms tighten reflexively and Misao falls on top of him. -
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--You may try to sew and sew--
- Throughout all of this, Kaoru is sitting there, trying to fix the hem she screwed up on a very elegant kimono that is never going to happen. -
- She pokes herself over and over, makes wrong stitch after wrong stitch, and is growing grouchier and grouchier. -
--And never make something regal--
Kaoru: whining WHY CAN'T I JUST DO THIS RIGHT?
- She wonders for a moment if she should just go and get a drink, but a funny scene fills her head and she thinks better of it. -
--So roll it up and let it go--
Kaoru: Oh, the hell with it!
- She winds the silk, pins and all, around her arm. -
- All eyes fix on her as she pulls her bleeding arm out and rears back with the bundle. -
- With a mighty yell, she lets go, sending it flying... -
- WHAM! -
-... Right into the face of a startled Kenshin. -
Kenshin: Ororororo... And I was just coming in to see your progress, that I was... Ororororo...
-- Pop! goes the weasel!--
Kaoru: KENSHIN!
Megumi: SIR KEN!
- The fox lady turns to the raccoon girl. -
-SMACK! -
Megumi/bitch slap\
------------------------------------------------------- VERSE CUT -------------------------------------------------------------
--All around the cobbler's bench--
- Megumi is now chasing Kaoru around the room, shaking her fist and cursing colorfully. -
- Kenshin is sitting on the floor with his hair full of pins, spirally-eyed and "oro"-ing. -
- Aoshi and Misao are still kind of... well... astounded. -
--The monkey chased the weasel--
- After a while, Yahiko comes in to see what all the fuss is about. -
- Sano comes trailing in after him, trusty sake jug in hand. -
Yahiko: O.o I think they've finally snapped...
Sano/falls down laughing\
Kenshin/gets squished\ Orooooo! Sano, get off of me, if you please! You're crushing my internal organs, that you are! -
--The monkey thought 'twas all in fun--
- Yahiko surveys his surroundings and grabs the sake jug from the squirming bundle of arms and legs that is Sano and Kenshin trying to untangle themselves. -
Yahiko: I need a drink...
Kaoru/yells over her shoulder\ NO YOU DON'T, LITTLE YAHIKO!
Yahiko: I'M NOT LITTLE/chugs until he falls down\
Megumi/catches Kaoru by her ponytail\ RACCOON BEE-YOTCH!
- SMACK! -
--Pop! goes the weasel!--
- At that moment, the cause of the whole calamity (Misao) is still laying on Aoshi, calmly turning her eyes away from the scene and looking down at her newfound cushion. -
Misao: What were you coming in here for anyway?
- Aoshi feels the back of his neck prickling, still bleeding a little, and shrugs his shoulders as best he can. -
Aoshi: I forgot...
Misao: Ok...
- As the Aoiya comes crashing down around their ears (not literally), Aoshi pulls Misao down into a kiss. -
Aoshi/pulls back\ They call you "weasel"?
Misao: O.O/blushes\