It was just a normal morning on the starship Enterprise
No temporal anomalies or Klingons in disguise
No warp core breeches, honored guests, or saucer separations
And absolutely no one had to man their battle stations.
It was just a normal day aboard the flagship of the fleet
The captain in his ready room and Riker in his seat
The stars upon the viewscreen moving by at perfect speed
The life support was functional so everyone could breathe.
There was absolutely nothing that would indicate disaster
The ship did not start moving slower, or proceed any faster
Nobody got sent back in time, there were no strangers near
So everybody just sat back, and no one screamed in fear.
Deanna Troi sensed rest and relaxation for a change
And just in case a class-M planet was in transporter range
The red alert was not desired; neither was the yellow
But Worf was ill at ease, being such a paranoid fellow.
Everything was running smoothly down in engineering
In fact, a poker game was on with lots of laughs and cheering
Ten-forward was a madhouse; it seemed the whole ship wanted drinks
Since they had sonic showers they did not need any sinks.
There were no systems failures and there were no power drains
And no one needed counseling so Deanna felt no pains
And Geordi scored a full house and he won a million credits
Data said, "Congratulations" and LaForge replied, "You said it."
There were no illegal aliens; sickbay was nearly empty
Picard got bored with Shakespeare and emerged, Worf standing sentry
Far off in their own quadrant were the Borg where they belonged
O'Brien stood upon the bar and began to sing a song.
Poor Barclay finally gained a flush and ended up stone broke
At 1300 hours, Wesley finally awoke
He thought, "Oh dear, I've missed my shift" but Riker said, "Forget it
"Why don't you go join Chief LaForge and earn yourself some credits."
Beverly and Keiko strolled through the arboretum
In engineering, Acting
Ensign Crusher won by cheating
And on the bridge, poor Worf was so
bored he could nearly cry
With nobody to shoot at and nobody to die.
So all in all, it was a completely normal day
And all was nice and black and white instead of shades of grey
Just another normal day aboard the Enterprise
No tachyon emissions or black holes in the skies.
Aboard the ship, though, crewmen were beginning to get restless
The engineering poker game got tedious and zestless
With nothing else to do, it was getting very boring
Upon the science console a lieutenant started snoring.
Said Riker, "Let's all go off to Risa for a while"
And all the officers perked up and finally cracked a smile
The Enterprise warped off through space, oblivious of orders
They didn't even realize when they reached the Klingon borders.
They entered through the neutral zone, which was the quickest course
And Wesley there at ops was hailed and, puzzled, sought a source
It could have been old Gowron, Tomalok or someone else
But it was even worse than that: the Enterprise herself.
"Not another temporal anomaly," groaned Geordi
And wished that he were thirty-five instead of nearly forty
Scanned for chronoton particles, and found them sure enough
He said, "I'm sick of chronoton and tachyon and stuff."
But nonetheless he went about his work as he had been
While Wes said, "Sir, we're being hailed" and Riker said, "Onscreen"
A face appeared upon the viewer, one that Will knew well
It was the face of Sarek, and he didn't look so swell.
"Sir," Data said, "That Vulcan looks terminally ill
"I recommend we beam him here in stasis, standing still"
Picard said, "Make it so" and to transporter room, "Engage"
T'was there that the Ambassador arrived with great outrage.
Of course, being a Vulcan, he didn't show it on his face
But he made his anger known as soon as medics were in place
He said, "I have a crisis on my ship, so please don't quibble
"The universe is being taken over by some tribbles."
It was just a normal morning on the starship Enterprise
No Vulcans, Klingons, Humans, or Bajorans reigned the skies
The tribbles now would rule the galaxy forevermore
They had no idea what this starship had in store.