Disclaimer: In no way, shape, or form do I own anything to do with The Big Bang Theory (except DVDs). CBS, Chuck Lorre, and Bill Prady have that honor. I am just a fan.
The English Element
Chapter 1
Leonard's Lab, Caltech, Pasadena CA
"Ready for lunch Leonard?" asked Howard Wolowitz walking into the lab accompanied as usual by Raj Koothrappali.
"Just a sec. Laser" replied Leonard, handing his friends safety glasses. As they stood back Leonard precisely aimed the laser and melted a Storm Trooper.
"Ah, still moping about Penny I see." observed Raj removing his glasses.
"Dude, I keep telling you that you need to get out there. Come out with Raj and I tonight; we're going to a pottery class to see if any of the chicks there want to reenact that scene from Ghost."
"No thanks," said Leonard, "I'm just going to stay in and watch the new MST3K boxed set I bought yesterday."
"You'll never meet a new girl that way, "exclaimed Howard, "Do you think the perfect woman is just going to knock on your door?"
Knock, knock "Excuse me, I'm looking for Dr. Leonard Hofstadter?"
All three men turned their heads toward the voice. Just inside the doorway stood a curvy redhead in a charcoal grey suit and dark green cat's eye glasses.
"I'm Dr. Hofstadter. These are my colleagues Dr. Koothrappali and Mr. Wolowitz. How can I help you?" inquired Leonard.
"It's nice to meet you all. I'm Professor Katherine Levin of the English Department. I'm developing a new course The science of science fiction and I need someone to help me with the science end of things. Dr. Gablehauser recommended you. Is it something you might be interested in?"
"Maybe, what exactly did you have in mind?"
"Basically I want to look at scientific concepts in classic science fiction like Wells, Verne, and Asimov, and compare how they are portrayed as working in the novels to how they actually function in reality." said Katherine.
"That's an interesting idea. Can I think about it?"
"Of course. Why don't you come to my office tomorrow afternoon and we can discuss it over lunch?" proposed Katherine.
"That sounds great."
Katherine gave Leonard her office address and they set a time for the next afternoon.
As Leonard escorted her to the door Katherine remarked "Impressive equipment you have here; it looks like you have everything but an interocitor."
"It's out for repairs." quipped Leonard.
"It must be tough to get a service call from Metaluna." Katherine said smiling. "I'm sorry but I have to run, I have a class to teach. It was nice meeting you all."
Leonard, Howard and Raj watched her leave in a state of disbelief.
"Did a hot woman really just reference This Island Earth?" Raj asked incredulously.
"Yeah she did." giggled Leonard.
"Oh my God!" exclaimed Howard. "I just conjured a woman for you!"
"What are you talking about?" inquired Leonard.
"Right after I said "Do you think the perfect woman is just going to knock on your door?" Professor Levin knocked on your door!"
"Dude, that is spooky. Howard, conjure one for me!" said Raj excitedly.
"Raj if I can conjure women I am conjuring one for myself first." retorted Howard.
Howard cleared his throat and said" It's not like Angelina Jolie is going to knock on the door."
The three men looked at the doorway which remained empty.
"Well it was worth a shot." sighed Howard.
They entered the cafeteria, got their lunch and joined Sheldon at their usual table.
"Sheldon! The most unbelievable thing just happened! We met a woman!" exclaimed Raj.
"I don't see what's so unbelievable about that. Approximately fifty percent of the world's human population is female. Therefore half of the people one meets are women. Meeting a woman is quite commonplace."
"Not here and not a woman who can reference This Island Earth in casual conversation." said Howard.
"Oh I see." Sheldon said "Well, I can't give you accurate statistics unless you provide me with all of the data."
"Let me try to explain it to you." said Leonard "Professor Katherine Levin from the English Department visited me in the lab just before we came here. Dr. Gablehauser gave her my name and recommended me to assist her with a project."
"Why would you want to assist someone in the Humanities? Those people are the enemy Leonard. They take valuable resources we could be employing for real scholarship."
"It's actually a pretty cool idea. She wants to develop a course about the science in classic science fiction novels. She wants me to help her with the science part of the course."
"So you would be advising on fictional science. That seems commensurate with your abilities." observed Sheldon.
"Gee thanks." Leonard said sarcastically.
"So you're going to do it?" asked Raj
"I think so."
"I can't believe you're hesitating!" Howard exclaimed "This is a once in a lifetime opportunity! A beautiful woman will be spending time with you of her own volition. You can wear her down, then make your move."
"I'm not doing this to sleep with her Howard!" retorted Leonard
"Very good. Keep that tone of righteous indignation and you can use reverse psychology on her. Very shrewd."
"That's not it at all!"
"Are you telling me that you have no interest at all in an attractive, educated, intelligent woman who is familiar with sci-fi?" asked Raj
"I didn't say that." muttered Leonard, slumped in his chair.
"What makes you think she's intelligent? inquired Sheldon.
"She's a professor Sheldon. She has a Ph.D." replied Raj
"In English Lit" said Sheldon scornfully "She basically got a doctorate by writing book reports."
Author note: I will be adding additional chapters, I would love to hear your thoughts, feedback & constructive criticism so please review.
Please PM me if you are interested in beta reading future chapters