You're My Hope
Dean, Sam, and Mary were on their way to a small town on the outskirts of Texas. Sam had come across a news article of several cow slaughters,, as well as murders, where the victims were missing their hearts. So, they figured it was either werewolves or a skinwalker.
Dean was, especially excited about going, because they had passed through this town, before, five years ago and Dean had a very good time, that night and hoped the same waitress was there. In fact, when they pulled into town, the diner was the first place they went, since it had been a long drive and the Winchesters did need to refuel before starting.
Dean asked the waitress if Rachel Culver still worked there.
"She does," the waitress replied, in a thick Texan accent. "But, today's her day off. She's home, takin' care of the lil one."
"Little one?" he questioned. Dean didn't recall Rachel having a kid, the last time he saw her.
"Yeah, little Hope. She's Rach's lil girl. Five years old and full of life, considering her circumstances."
"What do you mean?"
"Girl's been through quite a few surgeries in her young life. Can' walk. Can' speak. But, does that stop Hope? No, sir. Rach named her right, hoo boy!"
Dean exchanged a look with his mom and brother before switching back to the waitress. "And, she's five, you said?"
"That's right," she nodded. "Why?"
"Is there a father?" he asked, anxiously.
"Nope, just Rachel." The waitress added, with a shrug, "I mean, she has her dad, but, he's busy caring for Rachel's mom, they had to move to a nursing home. Rach never said who the father is. Probably some deadbeat." She made a disgusted face. "Now, what can I get for ya?"
Dean looked around at Sam and Mary. "You two good on your own?" he asked them.
Mary was the one to answer, understanding what he was getting at. "Go on, honey," she encouraged her firstborn. "Sammy and I will find a motel, on foot."
Dean thanked his mom and asked the waitress if Rachel still lived on her parents' farm. When she said, Rachel did, he bolted from the booth, and back out to the Impala where he drove out to the farm.
It still looked the same as Dean pulled up and stepped out of the car. There were a two-story house, that was fifty years old, but, had a satellite dish on the side. Near the right side of the house, was the barn, just as old as the house. There was a chicken coop, but, it looked like it hadn't been used, in years. Out in the pasture, were dozens of cows, which wasn't good, considering it would mean Rachel and her family would be too close to what the Winchesters were there, for.
Dean made his way up to the house and pressed the doorbell. He waited a minute before the door opened and there stood Rachel Culver. Her hair was still the same reddish brown, he had remembered and her eyes were the same darker shade of green than his.
"Dean. Wow. I wasn't expecting your return." She stared at him, in surprise.
He smiled for her. "Hey, Rachel. How are you?"
"Uh, good. Enjoying my day off. What about you?"
"Same here. Good, I mean," Dean added, with a shrug.
Rachel got on with it, getting to business. "What are you doing here?"
"I, uh, my family and I are passing through, again and I thought I would stop by and see how you're doing. Someone at the diner said, you had a kid, now," he explained.
"Um, yeah. She's five years old. Would you like to meet her?" she asked.
"Sure," Dean smiled.
Rachel stepped to the side, to let Dean in and shut the door behind him. She showed Dean, into the living room, where a little girl was building with Legos. The TV was playing Jake and the Neverland Pirates. What Dean noticed was one, her hair was the same shade of blond as his, tied back in a ponytail holder, and two, the white, hard plastic braces attached to her legs.
Dean caught himself, staring. "I'm so sorry," he apologized to Rachel. "I don't mean to stare."
"It's okay. Hope and I are used to it. Even in a small town, where mostly everyone knows you, there are those who don't and will stop and stare, even with a negative comment, sometimes."
"I never thought anything bad. I'm just not used to seeing those on a kid, except maybe Forrest Gump. What happened?"
Rachel held her arms, crossed, across her chest, lightly "Nothing happened. Hope was born, unable to use her legs. She had gone through a few surgeries, to strengthen them. So, now she can walk, if she uses her walker," she nodded over at a small, child-sized walker Dean had only seen elderly people use. "She also can't talk, but, can still communicate."
"Sign language?"
"She knows a little sign language. Hope prefers the Kindle. I downloaded an app that says basic words and you can, even add words, and names, too." Rachel looked over at her daughter. "Hope is very smart. It's amazing the things she can create with those Legos, and she can already build things on Minecraft."
Dean looked from Hope, to Rachel. "What's Minecraft?" he asked, confused.
"You don't know what Minecraft is? Have you been living under a rock? It's the game, popular with all the kids, these days. Hope loves it. She'll spend hours, playing it, if you let her." Rachel smiled, watching the little girl.
Dean glanced from her, to the floor. "Listen, I couldn't help… She's five, huh?" He looked back up at the woman.
"You want to know if she's yours, don't you." Rachel looked back at him.
"Yeah," he admitted.
Rachel looked down at the floor. They had been keeping their voices low, so Hope wouldn't overhear. Plus, they were a good distance away. That and Hope was too engrossed in her Legos, to notice.
"I am, aren't I," Dean guessed, seeing as she was hesitating.
"Yes. Is that okay?" she forced herself to look over at Dean.
He looked over at Hope, again. "The only thing I'm not cool with, is the fact, she seems to have my family's bad luck."
Rachel smiled, "Hope's a fighter, though."
"Of course, she is, if Hope's a Winchester."
"Hope you don't mind. I, uh, gave her your last name. I'm not even sure why, other than my dad says, children should have their father's name. My mom said, if the father isn't in the child's life, why should he get that honor? But, then I figured, well, you didn't know."
"I'm proud of her, already." Dean smiled over at Rachel. He stole a quick glance before he asked, "Can I…?" He motioned towards Hope, with his head.
"Of course. Go say hi."
Dean looked back at Hope. Taking a deep breath, he made his way over and sat down, on the other side of her Legos set. "What ya building?" He cursed himself, once Dean asked that, knowing she couldn't really answer. But, Hope only smiled at the newcomer and picked up her Kindle, she had, lying on the floor, near her. Turning the screen on, she pressed a few buttons with her tiny finger until a computerized, female voice, said, "A city."
"Would it be alright if I helped?" he asked.
Hope dug her hand in a pile of different color Lego pieces and pushed them towards him. She, then pressed a few buttons on the Kindle until the computerized voice said, post office.
"You want me to make the post office?"
She nodded her head, up at Dean.
"Okay," Dean smiled and got to work, building a post office. The two of them worked hard, building the city. Dean didn't even say anything else. Sometimes, there didn't need to be any words. They just sat, in silence, enjoying each other's company. Now and then, he would look over and watch the little girl, which he noticed she had his eyes and even his nose and even though Hope was still growing into her ears, Dean could tell they were his, too. Her jawline was her mother's, but even her eyebrows were like his.
When he finished the post office, Hope had Dean work on a car garage, next and not only gave him more Legos, but gave him some toy cars, as well.
"I got some really cool Hot Wheels cars, out in my car. Would you like them?" he offered.
Hope's face lit up and nodded, excitedly.
"I'll be right back, okay?"
She nodded, again.
Dean stood up and hurried back out to the Impala, looking inside the trunk, digging around until he found a small box of toys, he brought them in the house, over to where Hope was working on a zoo. Sitting back on the floor, with her, Dean opened the box and showed Hope what was inside. There were a lot of cars, Lego pieces, some orange car tracks, and old kid meals toys from when him and Sam were kids. Hope dug into the toys, going through them all.
"You can have the whole box, if you want," he told her.
Rachel was sitting over on the couch, on the other side of the coffee table from them, watching. "Wow, Hope. What do you say to Dean?"
Hope picked up her Kindle and pressed a few buttons until the computerized voice said, Thank you.
"You're welcome," he replied, with a smile. Dean, then saw Hope push herself up, by the coffee table. Rachel leaped to her feet, gently, grabbing her shoulders, to lead her daughter over to her walker, but, Hope pointed over at Dean.
"You want to go to Dean?" she asked Hope, who nodded. So, Rachel helped Hope step over to Dean. Dean watched as the little girl, hobbled over to him. It broke his heart to watch his own kid, have to have help, just to walk. The thought of her living through surgeries, didn't help either. At least, she could get around, now.
When Hope was close enough, Rachel let go. She still spotted her daughter, who let herself fall against Dean. Dean, quickly, reached out and caught her. Hope held out her arms like she wanted to hug him, as if to thank him, some more. She wrapped her arms around him, holding her head against his shoulder. Dean couldn't hold back and held Hope, close, in his arms. He looked up, to mouth, "can I tell her?"
Rachel shook her head. "Not yet. I'd like her to get to know you, first, if you're gonna stay." she mouthed back.
Dean nodded and returned his attention to his daughter.
Eventually, Hope pushed away, to twist around, twirling a fist at her mother. Dean noticed one finger was over her thumb.
"You need to go potty, baby girl?" Rachel asked.
Hope nodded at her mother.
Rachel grabbed her daughter's walker. Dean held Hope's waist as she stepped over to it, letting go when Hope had a hold. He then watched as Hope pushed it away, towards the downstairs bathroom, with her mother in tow.
Dean couldn't believe this was really happening. Not only did he have a daughter. He had a daughter with disabilities. She couldn't run and play sports like other kids could. Hope needed a lot more attention. She would always need help. A void that was once empty, was now filling up in his heart. He wanted to do the right thing. Now, that he had walked into Hope's life, he wanted to stay there. Dean wanted...no needed to be a dad.
When Hope returned, with her mother. She wanted to watch a movie on her Kindle, with Dean. She pushed towards the couch, where she inched herself from her walker, to grab onto the edge and pull herself up. Dean was amazed she did it by only pulling herself up, with just her hands and patted the couch, for Dean to sit next to her.
Dean looked over at Rachel, who gave him, a kind smile and handed him, the Kindle. He took it and walked around the coffee table, the other way and parked himself, down, next to her. Dean passed the Kindle to her. Hope exited out of the voice help app and pressed the Netflix app. She pressed her name on the Netflix screen and it loaded to the kid's version of Netflix. She scrolled through until she found the movie, Zootopia and played it.
Once the movie loaded and began, Hope snuggled against Dean's side and held the Kindle, so they both could watch. It wasn't a movie he would watch by himself, but, it was a good one to watch with his daughter and laughed, harder than Hope did, at the hidden adult humor.
Halfway through the movie, something in her ear, taught Dean's eye. It looked like an earbud that hooked over the back of the ear but there wasn't any cord. Plus, the Kindle didn't have earbuds plugged in.
By the end of the movie, both Dean and Hope had fallen asleep, right there on the couch. Rachel left them alone, covering them both with a blanket.
They were awakened by Dean's phone, two and a half hours, later. Dean quickly pulled his phone out and answered it.
"Hello?" He hadn't bothered to look to see who was calling.
"Dean, where are you? Mom is worried sick!" It was Sam. Never thought any of the brothers would ever have to say that.
"What time is it?" he asked, still waking up.
"Four, in the afternoon. Where are you? Are you still with that waitress?"
Dean rubbed at his eyes in one hand. "Yeah. I, uh, I have a d-a-u-g-h-t-e-r so I was getting to know her."
It took Sam a minute before he realized what his brother was spelling out. "Wait- so she is yours? How do you know?"
"Look, Sammy, I can't talk now. I'll explain everything, tonight when I get there." With that said, Dean hung up. It was then he noticed Hope was trying to get down from the couch. When her feet hit the floor, she almost stumbled, which Dean's quick reflexes kicked in and caught Hope before she hit her head on the coffee table. "You okay?"
Hope nodded, holding onto his hands.
Dean blew a sigh of relief. "That was scary, huh?" he smiled for her.
Again, she nodded.
Rachel came into the room, at that point. "I thought I heard you were awake. She knelt on the other side of the coffee table, placing her hand on it. "Did you have a nice nap, baby girl?"
Hope twisted around and switched to leaning on the coffee table and smiled for her mom. She made her way around, holding onto it, to get to her toys. Dropping to the floor, Hope continued playing.
Dean watched his daughter. "What are those things in her ears?" he decided to ask Rachel, after a few seconds.
"They're hearing aids. They help her hear, better," she explained.
"She can't hear?"
"Not very well. She's not, completely, deaf. With those, she can hear fine if you look, directly at her and clearly, with no other noises going on, around you. Her pediatrician said that was why Hope couldn't speak. Because, kids learn how to say sounds, by hearing the rest of us. But, it's been a year since Hope was given the hearing aids and she still isn't speaking, yet. So, we figured maybe it's something else, entirely. Maybe she doesn't possess the ability to speak."
Dean shrugged. "I think she does."
Rachel looked at him. "How do you know that?"
"I heard her laugh, while watching the movie, earlier. If she has a voice to laugh, like that, then she should have a voice to speak. Don't you think?" he said.
Rachel looked back at her daughter. "I guess. I just, constantly, worry about her."
"Has she started school, yet?" Dean asked, curious.
"No," she shook her head. "Not yet. Her birthday was after the school year started, so she has to wait until next year."
"When was her birthday?"
"Two weeks ago, on the twenty-eighth of September," Rachel looked over at Dean, again.
"Wish I had gotten here, two weeks, sooner." Dean was leaning his arms on his legs. "Was there anything she wanted for her birthday, she didn't get?"
She glanced over at Hope, who was playing with Dean and Sam's old army men, that were also in the box. "Not really. Hope didn't ask for anything. Besides," Rachel looked over at Dean, "I think that box of toys, there, is present enough." She smiled at Dean.
Dean returned it. Oh, well. There's always Christmas.
Rachel got dinner cooked and set on the table. Once it was ready, she made the call. Dean helped Hope, stand and walk over to her walker. To be honest, it felt like he was teaching his daughter how to walk, by her holding onto his hands. Dean walked behind Hope, as she, slowly, made her way towards the kitchen. Ever since she almost fell, Dean was now watching Hope's every move, making sure she didn't get hurt. Hope seemed like a fragile, little girl that needed a lot of protection, and who could give more protection than Dean Winchester?
After a few minutes, they reached the kitchen, where Hope made her way over to the table. She climbed onto the chair, with just her hands, eventually sitting up, onto her bottom. Rachel offered Dean, a plate, as well, right next to Hope, who insisted on it. Rachel and Hope joined hands, which Hope held her other one out to Dean. It took him, a moment before he realized what was going on and joined in, to be polite.
Hope was able to feed herself, too. Aside from the hearing loss and unable to walk, well, Hope seemed like a normal kid, to Dean. She liked cartoons, played with toys, and even laughed. Dean still wanted to learn everything there was to know about kids in Hope's situation. He wanted to help and be the dad, the kid needed. Dean already felt he was one hundred percent responsible for Hope. She was his, after all.
After dinner, it was time for Hope to get ready for bed, which she wanted Dean to help her. Rachel wasn't sure, at first and suggested she'd do it.
"Don't worry, Rachel," he assured her. "I used to give my brother, a bath, growing up." Rachel still supervised, though and watched as Dean washed Hope's hair. Hope was able to wash her own body, now, so Dean just helped rinse off the soap, and took some time, to goof around before she had to get out of the tub. Hope had rubber bath toys of sea life, that squirted water. She used one of the fish to squirt water at Dean, getting him in the face. It stung when it got in his eye.
"Hope, not in the face," her mother reminded Hope.
Dean used a towel Rachel had handed him, to dab at his eye. "I'm gonna start calling ya, squirt," he teased the little girl, who snickered, bowing her head, a little.
Once it was time to get out, Dean let the water out and lifted Hope out of the tub, setting her on her mother's lap, to help dry her off. While Rachel held onto Hope, Dean helped put on her pajamas, that had generic cartoon alligators. The alligators were dark green, but the rest of her pajamas were blue, except for the collar of the shirt. That was yellow. Rachel pulled Hope, back onto her lap, so Dean could slip a pair of white socks, on her feet and replaced her leg braces, overneath. Once she was dressed, Rachel handed Hope, her hearing aids she had taken out before she got in the tub, and let her put them in, herself.
Hope reached her arms up, when Dean had stood up. He reached down and lifted Hope, up, onto his side. Rachel showed Dean to her bedroom, where he set Hope, on her bed. Rachel came over from the bookshelf, carrying a book in her hand.
"Care to do the honors, Dean?" she asked him. "I'm sure she'll like that."
Dean looked at the book, which was Charlotte's Web. He had never read it, but he saw the movie, once, when he was a kid. "Sure," Dean replied, cheerfully, and looked over at Hope. "You mind if I read to you, tonight?"
She nodded, excited to hear he would be reading. So, Dean took a seat next to her and opened the book to the chapter where Rachel had stopped at, the night before, and started reading. Dean even tried to use a different voice for each character. When he read the whole chapter, Dean replaced the bookmark and handed it back to Rachel, who returned it to the bookshelf, and stood up, to help cover Hope up, with her Disney's The Little Mermaid comforter.
Hope grabbed onto a stuffed alligator that was there, behind her and held out her arms, for Dean to hug her, good night.
Dean bent over to hug his daughter. "Good night, Squirt," he told her and stood back up.
Rachel leaned over and hugged and kissed her daughter, good night, as well. "Good night, baby girl. I love you." She also signed, I love you and Hope returned it, in the same way.
Hope took out her hearing aids, again and reached over to set them on her nightstand. She laid down and snuggled up with her alligator, closing her eyes, as Dean and Rachel left the room. Rachel got the lights on the way out, making sure to turn on her daughter's nightlight, and led Dean, downstairs, to walk him out.
"So, what do you think?" she asked.
Dean stopped, to turn and look back at her. "What?" he asked.
"About all this? What it takes to care for our little girl."
"Honestly, the more I hang around Hope, the more protective I get," Dean admitted.
"Welcome to my world," Rachel agreed. "Every single day I worry about Hope. I get afraid to take my eyes off her, for a second."
Dean swallowed, glancing up at the stairs, thinking about when she had fallen from the couch. Now, he was worried if she'll roll out of bed or something. "Can I see her, again?" he finally asked.
"You can. But, if I let you keep seeing her, you have to commit to it. And, you can't disappear and only see her, once or twice a month. I don't want you coming in and out of Hope's life. She won't understand and I'm not even sure I would be able to explain, anyway. I mean, are you here for good, this time?"
Dean hesitated at that point. He wasn't sure what to tell her. Rachel didn't know he was a hunter or that monsters were real. He couldn't tell her, it took him all over the place, never staying in one place for long. Dean wanted to be Hope's dad, but hunting always kept him busy. But, if he wanted to see his daughter, he had to stay.
"I want to continue to see her. If I am her dad, I need to be there for her," he told her.
Rachel shrugged. "You're welcome to continue to see her, Dean. Full time, though. Not part time. Do we have a deal?"
He nodded. "Deal."
Another idea that popped into my head, while at work. Once "Learning to Trust" is finished, all these stories should get more attention. Let me know what you think! :)