A/N: Okay, this was the first fic that I ever wrote, and it's a SongFic. Again, like so many of my other stories, it's about Harry trying to learn to accept Sirius' death.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J. K. Rowling, and 'Let's Talk About Love' belongs to Ms. Celine Dion. I'm just borrowing without asking...
Let's Talk About Love
Written by SiriusBlack4Ever
Inspired by the song 'Let's Talk About Love' by Celine Dion
Harry Potter was lying on his stomach on the hard, wooden floor of his bedroom in Number 4, Privet Drive. His window was open, and there were many summer sounds floating in through it.
However, he didn't notice any of these noises; he was too absorbed in the book in front of him to notice anything.
The book was large and leather-bound, and contained many moving photographs. Most of the book consisted of pictures of his late parents, though Harry had added some other ones of his friends and members of the Order of the Phoenix.
The one picture that he was studying now was one that had been taken of his godfather, Sirius. In it, Sirius was wearing one of his mischievous grins, and looked as though he may have been up to something.
A tear suddenly escaped Harry's eye, and it silently rolled down his cheek, before landing on the floor. Harry placed his face in his hands, and quietly wept for Sirius.
-o-
After a while, Harry couldn't cry anymore, so he just laid there, looking at the picture. He felt as though something inside of him had been stolen from him the day Sirius died, and he knew that he was never going to get it back. It hurt to look at the picture, but yet he somehow couldn't take his eyes off of it. They seemed to be glued to it, taking in every move, every look, every feature that Sirius showed.
What Harry really needed was someone to talk to. The problem was, he didn't know who he wanted to talk to. He had always confided in Sirius before this, but now Sirius was gone, and, try as he might, talking to the picture of Sirius never did him any good, especially because it didn't talk back.
Harry flipped through the pictures, willing himself to take his eyes off Sirius. He started looking at the other pictures in the book, and found himself studying the emotions on the faces of other people from the Order: Tonks, Mad-Eye, Kingsley, Mr. and Mrs. Wealsey, Charlie, Bill, and most comfortingly, Lupin.
Harry was looking into Lupin's deep, oceanic blue eyes, trying to decipher the look in them. They seemed to be happy, alight with fondness. Harry also noticed the slight, small smile playing around his lips.
Somehow, looking at this made Harry feel stronger, and he flipped to the next page. On it was a picture of everyone in the current Order, as well as Ron, Hermione and Ginny, all smiling up at him and waving.
They had all sent this to him about a week ago, and upon receiving it, Harry felt somewhat angry. Just looking at all of these people who could have helped him save Sirius, but had failed, made him feel mad and upset.
However, as he looked at them all now, smiling, waving, he couldn't help but forget these thoughts.
He realized that each and every one of these people (with the exception of Snape, who was hovering in the shadows at the back of the picture) loved him in one way or another. And it seemed like no matter where he went or what he was doing, he could always count on a smile from at least one of them. He suddenly thought of something even more comforting.
He realized right now, for the very first time, that he wasn't the only one that loved Sirius. He supposed that he should have realized this a long time ago, but he was too thick to see it. All of these people from the Order, although each had known him in a different way, loved Sirius all the same.
He knew this, because he had seen each person express it. From something laughter associated, like Mad-Eye talking to the Dursley's for Harry after he got off the train, to the tears of an old man like Dumbledore, sitting in his office, trying to help both Harry and himself accept Sirius' death the night that he had died.
There was a small thread that ran through each one of them, a thread that connected them all, and was filled with love for Sirius. And now, it seemed as though Harry understood all of this completely.
The thread was like fire; it was a small flicker at first, but after a subtle breeze of Sirius' love, character, humor and friendship ran through it, it would fan it into a large, roaring flame, and would intensify and burn brighter as each person got to know Sirius better.
That was the sheer Music of Sirius' life: from the very first sweet melody when he was born, to the very last refrain before going through the veil, Sirius lived to please people, to make them happy, to bring them from their sorrows – especially Harry.
Sirius seemed to be the king of people's hearts; it was as if he controlled a lot of the emotions of the people in this picture. Lupin, like Harry, was probably intensely grieving for him. Dumbledore was probably thinking of all of the things that he could have done so as to prevent these things from happening in the first place. Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and the rest of the Weasley children were probably somewhat grieving Sirius, and were thinking of what Harry was doing and how he was holding up because of it. People like Tonks, Kingsley, Mad-Eye, and McGonagall were all probably worried about Harry's well-being, and if he would ever be the same person again, because of what had happened.
As Harry thought of these people, all grieving for Sirius, and even himself and Lupin, he knew that he would have to let all of this go – in fact, he wanted to let this go. He was tired of doing nothing, saying nothing, just being nothing. He would now let Sirius go.
He would still hang on to the good memories that they had had together. He just had to get the raging storm of hurt, and sadness, and grief out of his heart, and it would once again become the gentle sea it used to be, it's waves lapping softly against the shore, bringing up from it's endless depths the pleasant memories from his past.
Harry concentrated on this for a minute, willing himself to let it all go.
"Sirius is gone," he said to himself. "And there wasn't anything that I could have done."
"Sirius is gone," he repeated. "He died because he loved me."
Now I must love him in return, Harry thought to himself, and, saying something that he had never said before, he called out to the silence, "I love you, Sirius. I love you."
Suddenly, Harry felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off of his chest. He felt all right. He felt he could go on. And, most of all, he finally felt whole again – the missing part of him had returned, as gently as a falling leaf on a cool, autumn morning.
And as Harry looked back down at the picture of the group one last time, he finally figured out something. There were four main things in life: needing love, breathing togetherness, knowing what your life was all about, and sharing trust. But, most importantly, as Harry found out, was needing love. And as he closed the book and stood up, he heard a familiar voice waving in on the breeze, that was quietly and softly floating in through his open window.
"I love you too, Harry."
-o-
Thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think. The lyrics to 'Let's Talk About Love' can be found below.
Always,
SiriusBlack4Ever
-o-
"Let's Talk About Love"
Performed by Celine Dion
'Everywhere I go, all the places that I've been
Every smile is a new horizon on a land I've never seen
There are people around the world – different faces different names
But there's one true emotion that reminds me we're the same...
Let's talk about love
From the laughter of a child to the tears of a grown man
There's a thread that runs right through us all and helps us understand
As subtle as a breeze – that fans a flicker to a flame
From the very first sweet melody to the very last refrain...
Let's talk about love
Let's talk about us
Let's talk about life
Let's talk about trust
Let's talk about love
It's the king of all who live and the queen of good hearts
It's the ace you may keep up your sleeve – 'til the name is all but lost
As deep as any sea – with the rage of any storm
But as gentle as a falling leaf on any autumn morn...
Let's talk about love – it's all we're needin'
Let's talk about us – it's the air we're breathin'
Let's talk about life – I wanna know you
Let's talk about trust – and I wanna show you
Let's talk about love'
(© 1997 Badams Music Limited)