Recipe for a Mary Sue

by Min Daae

A little poem on how to make a Mary Sue. Not my favorite, but still rather silly. Beware of high cholesterol content. R&R?

A/N: Just a snippet I came up with. Enjoy.

Add a pinch of scented soap

Mix thoroughly with Essence of Angst

Transport through time and worlds

Or add a tragic past to spice

(Make sure your mix is sickly sweet).

Melodrama is essential

Spritz in some perfume ("natural scent")

Throw in a lock of hair (your choice

Of color, but must be either black or blonde)

Be certain to have her fall in love

With a major canon character.

Add alphabet soup letters spelling:

"Flowing blonde locks"

"Innocent blue eyes"

And other choice descriptions.

To taste, add a dollop of sugar

And spice, and everything nice

Add the special Powers of Charm™

Which no male can defend against

Magic powers are a plus –

But don't forget that quintessential ingredient

(which no Sue is complete without)

A name. Be it Amber Destiny-Papillion or

Tarmina Florina Bambina

Must be flowery, syrupy, drippingly

Sweet (and never, ever, call her Mary Sue).

Oven bake at 450 degrees for 45 minutes

Sprinkle with melted OOC powder and add

Essence of (your male of choice).

Let cool, and add to story.

(Ingesting is not recommended,

As due to the high cholesterol content, Mary Sues are

Highly unhealthy to those with heart disease, liver disease

Or canon writers.)

Enjoy!