You only love once.
The streets were damp and cold. It was getting dark, and with the weather being what it was, there weren't any people around. He would occasionally see the lights of cars as they passed by, but other than that, he was completely alone. He sighed, watching his breath as it condensed in the air. If the weather cast was right, it would start snowing any minute now.
He looked down at his phone and scrolled down until he found her number. He stared at the picture he'd saved under her name. It reminded him of how in love they used to be. He thought back to the time he tried to impress her by impersonating Powerline. He recalled the kiss that she gave him when he stopped by her house. He remembered how happy he felt when she first told him she loved him. But all that was gone now.
He neared his finger to dial her number, but hesitated. He thought back to the last words they'd spoken and thought maybe she didn't want to see him again.
He looked over to the nearby coffee shop where they'd often meet. It was there that she'd told him she wanted a little Max. Hearing that showed a new level of commitment. One that they were unsure of before. But once those words were spoken, it wouldn't be long until they moved in together and started a family. They talked about baby names, and how they'd try to make their son's childhood the best one. But before they ever got the chance to do that, she'd moved on.
And as he stood there, he tried to get mad at her, to hate her, but he couldn't. He couldn't even remember what they fought about. She was his first and only love. Knowing the kind of love he felt for her, he wondered if she'd ever loved him at all.
As the cold numbed him out, he built up the courage to press the button and call her. He brought up the phone to his ears and listened to the dial tone. He was losing confidence with each ring. Just when he was about to hang up, he heard her voice calling his name.
"Max?"
He stood there quietly. His mind went blank. Hearing her voice made him feel empty. After a short pause, he could only manage a, "Hey, Roxy." There was another short pause, but he broke it by asking, "How are you doing?"
"I'm good. I just got home from work."
He could hear a voice in the background, so he asked, "Is that him?"
"Yeah."
The way she'd answered his question sounded like she didn't like being with him anymore, so he asked, "How do you feel about him?"
"I don't know." She sighed. "We get by. I love him. I'm happy." She said.
She could just be tired, but she could also be lying, so he said, "Listen, I know I messed up. But you seemed-"
He heard another voice over the phone calling, "Mom?"
Had it really been that long since they'd broken up? Not only had she moved on, but she had a child already?
"Hang on." She said, taking a couple of seconds to herself and then asked, "What were you saying?"
Max clung to the phone's cord as he said, "I miss you."
"Max," She sighed.
"I'm performing at the karaoke night later if you wanna come." He said quietly. "The one near the coffee shop."
"Which one?"
Max hesitated, but said, "Where we had our first kiss."
"I can't right now, but we should see each other soon." She said enthusiastically. "I want to catch up with you, Max."
"It's okay. I understand."
"Bye, Max."
"Bye."
As he hung up the phone, standing there, he felt how empty his life was.
His passion for living had stayed with her. Nothing made sense anymore. She was the only thing he cared about and now that she was gone, things were only gonna get worse. The worst part was having hope that she'd eventually come back to him.
As he got back to reality he realized it had become night. The street lights had turned on, lighting his way to the bar. He didn't feel like attending karaoke night anymore, but he'd told the manager he was gonna be there, so he felt like he had to.
Walking through those doors felt unreal. He felt really stupid as he walked on stage. He regretted setting foot in that place after being turned down. To make things worse, he had chosen a happy song in case she actually accepted to come with him. He was the type of person that would rather live knowing that he disappointed someone than knowing he made a fool of himself. So he tried to keep it short.
Once on stage he said, "My name is Max and I'm gonna be doing a cover of Copeland's 'Brightest'."
The lights dimmed and the music started to play as he began to sing,
If you find yourself here on my side of town
I'd pray that you'd come to my door
And talk to me like you don't know what we ever fought about
Cause I don't remember anymore
I just know that she warms my heart
And knows what all my imperfections are
And she said that I was the brightest little firefly in her jar
His eyes filled with tears as the words he sang reminded him of how he used to feel and what he so desperately longed for. The song took on a sadder tone as his voice cracked throughout the song, showing the longing he felt inside.
And I just know that she warms my heart
And knows what all my imperfections are
And she said that I was the brightest little firefly in her jar
He received a positive response from the crowd, who seemed to understand his situation.
He quickly got off stage and went to the bar. A couple of guys offered to buy him a drink, which he turned down.
He sat there for a moment before hearing a very familiar voice saying, "Hey, Max."
Max turned around and saw an old friend. "Oh, hey PJ." he said.
"Max, you look like shit. What happened?"
"I don't wanna talk about it."
They sat there quietly for a moment when Max finally said, "PJ, can I stay over at your place?" PJ's face filled with worry, so Max explained, "I got fired from The House of Mouse and I haven't been able to pay rent."
"Is that why she-" PJ stopped himself half way through his question.
"I don't know. It could've been something else."
"It's gonna be okay, Max; you just need to find a good person."
Max turned to him. He recalled all the good times they'd had as kids and how much they cared for each other. With all the mixed emotions he felt at the time, he leaned in and kissed him.
When he pulled away, Max realized how wrong that was, so he said, "I'm sorry."
He got up and left the bar. The unrealness of the situation followed him all the way up to his car. And as he drove, he thought of places he could go to spend the night and the only logical place he could think of was his father's.
He thought back to his childhood and realized he'd had a perfect one. He would've wanted his son to have the same childhood. After all those years of trying to be different, he now realized he wanted to be like his father. He felt regret for the things he'd put him through, all the things he'd told him. He felt like a failure.
As he saw his house from a distance, he was flooded with memories of the good times they'd shared and the good memories seemed to overshadow the bad.
He got off the car and simply gazed at the place he'd spent so much time of his life. The mailbox and the fence were still the same.
As he neared the front door, he rang the door bell. He still wasn't sure what he was gonna tell his dad or if he was gonna tell him anything at all.
He heard movement on the other side before his father opened the door. And when he did, the look on his face was as if he was seeing the same Max he was when he was younger, welcoming him in the same manner.
Max gave him a long, warm hug.
They talked about small things, almost as if he had never left.
Goofy told him that it was late and that he better get some sleep. And that when he woke up, he'd make him some hot cocoa.
Max smiled as he agreed. He headed up to his room after saying goodnight.
He walked into his room. And much to his surprise, it was exactly as he'd left it when he left for college.
Tears filled his eyes and he started to cry.