"Beat Talk"
Disclaimer: All Disney characters are copyright Disney.
Elisa Maza opened the glass door to the Magnifying Glass Cafe, and entered. The cafe was small, but cozy. Soft pastel-green wallpaper lined the walls, while white linoleum covered the floor. Ivory linen curtains accented the plate-glass windows.
Elisa's best friend, Miranda Wright, was already seated at a table. The new arrival pulled up a chair and seated herself.
A waiter rushed up. "What will it be today, you lovely ladies?"
"Hmm...standard dozen donuts and a diet coke," requested Elisa. "You, Mir?"
"Just a cup of tea," replied Miranda.
The waiter bowed and left.
Elisa chuckled. "Normally I wouldn't be eating six doughnuts, but this week's been hectic. I deserve it."
"You're only young once," commented Miranda. "Let it be between you, me, and the author that Grating was skinny as a teenager. The coffee and doughnuts eventually caught up with him."
"Speaking of Grating," the dark-haired detective pointed across the cafe. "Isn't that him over there?"
"It is."
Sergeant Francis Q. Grating was carrying a tray. Out of sheer luck or the fingers of manipulation, a doughnut fell off onto a patron's head with a poof. A small cloud of powdered sugar rose.
"I'm so sorry," the overweight police officer stammered, grabbing a napkin. Then he realized who the patron was.
Chief of Police Leonard Kannifky took the doughnut from his head. "Hmm...a powdered donut. I didn't they had these today." He bit into it while his subordinate brushed the sugar off the balding head.
"Talk about apple polishing," hissed Elisa to her companion.
Miranda tried not to giggle. "How's Goliath? Still a night owl?"
"You better believe it."
"How does it feel to be in an interspecies relationship?"
"Well, they say gargoyles are a marriage of creature and human. But Goliath acts like such a typical man sometimes. Anyone special in your life, Mir?"
"Oh, no. At least, not yet. I think your partner's kind of cute."
"Bluestone?! Yeah...if you can call a granite block cute."
"Guess he doesn't have many fanfemmes," joked the blonde.
"Nope, but Brooklyn...sheesh. There are a lot of Goliath femmes, but they know to steer clear of me and especially from Demona."
"I think Demona still likes Goliath -- she just doesn't want to admit it."
"But she's tried to kill him!"
"Ever heard the phrase 'If you won't be mine, you won't be anybody's'? Besides, wasn't the only other guy Dem interested in Goliath's clone?"
"To tell the truth, I always wondered why she fell for Thailog. Sure, he's got the DNA, but the similarity ends there. One's virtuous and the other's a total creep."
"It's like identical twins. You automatically assume the same looks denote the same personality," added Miranda.
"Sometimes they can be total opposites," Elisa commented. "Where there's an Apollo, there's always an Artemis."
"I know it's a bit early to discuss Euripedes, but Goliath and Demona remind me of Jason and Medea. One's orderly, rational, and masculine. The other's chaotic, emotional, and feminine. Put them together, and you've got a well-rounded personality."
The waiter arrived with the box of donuts and the cups and set them on the table.
Elisa took a sip of her soda. "Angela? She's a pretty nice girl. Can't believe she's been labeled 'saccharine' and 'annoying'."
"So have a lot of series heroines."
"Yeah. Even us."
Miranda swallowed a gulp of tea. "Though if you look at Kim Possible, Ingrid Third, Gosalyn Mallard, or Tanya Vanderflock...they're anything but saccharine. The only one I can call saccharine is Lucky's daughter, Marilyn. The cavity rate went down in Toontown when the Piquels moved to DC."
"Just a bunch of male chauvinist pigs," snorted Elisa. "It's worse for us. Law enforcement is still a male-dominated field. What made you decide on it?"
"I didn't know at first," Miranda's brown eyes took on a nostalgic gleam. "Shirley knew she wanted to be a reporter the minute she saw the TV. My mother wanted me to be a model, but I'm not pretty enough."
"Don't be ridiculous. Of course you are."
"You're just saying that, Elise. Besides, the modeling industry has a sleazy underbelly of drugs, catfights, and eating disorders."
"Typical day in New York," Elisa laughed.
"When Lucky joined the FBI, I saw my chance. I'm having fun." Miranda bit into a doughnut and swallowed. "And I wouldn't trade it for anything. How about you?"
"When Derek and I would play cops and robbers with the neighborhood kids, I'd always be one of the cops."
"Cops and robbers? In my neighborhood, we re-enacted the American Civil War. I was usually Clara Barton or Mary Walker."
"I kicked Derek's butt at Clue, too."
The door opened, and grey-haired Irish-born Chief O' Hara came in. He went straight to the counter. "Two standard dozens. To go."
"Hard day?" Miranda asked.
"Ah, yes, lassie," sighed the Chief. "Phantom Blot's running loose again."
"Good luck," came another voice. Thirteen-year-old Junior Commissioner Vallejo of X Middle School's Safety Patrol had appeared behind O'Hara. "Give me some of the strongest coffee you got. Colossal size."
"Folsom on the warpath again?" Elisa smirked.
Vallejo snatched the cup of coffee and dropped a few dollar bills on the counter. "Love to stay and complain, but she was taking a ten-minute break from chewing me out." With that, he ran out of the cafe. O' Hara followed, carrying the boxes of donuts.
Elisa bit into one of her own doughnuts. "So, didn't Bonkers and Fawn recently tie the knot?"
"Yup. Half of Toontown was there. And guess who caught the bouquet?"
The door opened once again. Matthew Bluestone strolled to the counter and ordered a cup of coffee. After paying the cashier, he turned and headed towards his partner's table.
There was a flash of blue and orange that crashed into the deadpan officer.
Matt bit back a yell as hot coffee spilled on his front. His brown trenchcoat was now stained.
Bonkers D. Bobcat looked rather embarrassed. "I am so sorry!" He held up a box of Toon Soap. "I'll help you get that off!"
Matt looked about as thrilled as Eddie Valiant in the movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit? "Get away from me!" He turned to the table. His jaw dropped when he caught a glimpse of Miranda.
Bonkers poured the soap over the coat and wiped. There was now a white patch on the coat where the stain was. "Hmm...stubborn stain."
Bluestone wasn't even paying attention anymore.
Elisa waved her hand over her partner's face. "Earth to Matt!"
Miranda tried not to look at Matt's coat. "Sorry about my partner. He gets a little excited." She glanced at her watch. "Come on, Bonkers. We better get back to the precinct. You know Grating." She took out her coin purse and paid half the bill. "Talk to you later, Elise. Say hi to the clan for me."
"Bye, Mir. Give Kannifky my regards."
Miranda and Bonkers left.
Matt took off his coat. "We should be getting back too. Who was that?"
"Bonkers D. Bobcat, a movie star-turned-police officer," answered his partner.
"No! The woman!"
"Matt Bluestone, ladies man," groaned Elisa.
"Ooh, that hurts."
The end
Disclaimer: All Disney characters are copyright Disney.
Elisa Maza opened the glass door to the Magnifying Glass Cafe, and entered. The cafe was small, but cozy. Soft pastel-green wallpaper lined the walls, while white linoleum covered the floor. Ivory linen curtains accented the plate-glass windows.
Elisa's best friend, Miranda Wright, was already seated at a table. The new arrival pulled up a chair and seated herself.
A waiter rushed up. "What will it be today, you lovely ladies?"
"Hmm...standard dozen donuts and a diet coke," requested Elisa. "You, Mir?"
"Just a cup of tea," replied Miranda.
The waiter bowed and left.
Elisa chuckled. "Normally I wouldn't be eating six doughnuts, but this week's been hectic. I deserve it."
"You're only young once," commented Miranda. "Let it be between you, me, and the author that Grating was skinny as a teenager. The coffee and doughnuts eventually caught up with him."
"Speaking of Grating," the dark-haired detective pointed across the cafe. "Isn't that him over there?"
"It is."
Sergeant Francis Q. Grating was carrying a tray. Out of sheer luck or the fingers of manipulation, a doughnut fell off onto a patron's head with a poof. A small cloud of powdered sugar rose.
"I'm so sorry," the overweight police officer stammered, grabbing a napkin. Then he realized who the patron was.
Chief of Police Leonard Kannifky took the doughnut from his head. "Hmm...a powdered donut. I didn't they had these today." He bit into it while his subordinate brushed the sugar off the balding head.
"Talk about apple polishing," hissed Elisa to her companion.
Miranda tried not to giggle. "How's Goliath? Still a night owl?"
"You better believe it."
"How does it feel to be in an interspecies relationship?"
"Well, they say gargoyles are a marriage of creature and human. But Goliath acts like such a typical man sometimes. Anyone special in your life, Mir?"
"Oh, no. At least, not yet. I think your partner's kind of cute."
"Bluestone?! Yeah...if you can call a granite block cute."
"Guess he doesn't have many fanfemmes," joked the blonde.
"Nope, but Brooklyn...sheesh. There are a lot of Goliath femmes, but they know to steer clear of me and especially from Demona."
"I think Demona still likes Goliath -- she just doesn't want to admit it."
"But she's tried to kill him!"
"Ever heard the phrase 'If you won't be mine, you won't be anybody's'? Besides, wasn't the only other guy Dem interested in Goliath's clone?"
"To tell the truth, I always wondered why she fell for Thailog. Sure, he's got the DNA, but the similarity ends there. One's virtuous and the other's a total creep."
"It's like identical twins. You automatically assume the same looks denote the same personality," added Miranda.
"Sometimes they can be total opposites," Elisa commented. "Where there's an Apollo, there's always an Artemis."
"I know it's a bit early to discuss Euripedes, but Goliath and Demona remind me of Jason and Medea. One's orderly, rational, and masculine. The other's chaotic, emotional, and feminine. Put them together, and you've got a well-rounded personality."
The waiter arrived with the box of donuts and the cups and set them on the table.
Elisa took a sip of her soda. "Angela? She's a pretty nice girl. Can't believe she's been labeled 'saccharine' and 'annoying'."
"So have a lot of series heroines."
"Yeah. Even us."
Miranda swallowed a gulp of tea. "Though if you look at Kim Possible, Ingrid Third, Gosalyn Mallard, or Tanya Vanderflock...they're anything but saccharine. The only one I can call saccharine is Lucky's daughter, Marilyn. The cavity rate went down in Toontown when the Piquels moved to DC."
"Just a bunch of male chauvinist pigs," snorted Elisa. "It's worse for us. Law enforcement is still a male-dominated field. What made you decide on it?"
"I didn't know at first," Miranda's brown eyes took on a nostalgic gleam. "Shirley knew she wanted to be a reporter the minute she saw the TV. My mother wanted me to be a model, but I'm not pretty enough."
"Don't be ridiculous. Of course you are."
"You're just saying that, Elise. Besides, the modeling industry has a sleazy underbelly of drugs, catfights, and eating disorders."
"Typical day in New York," Elisa laughed.
"When Lucky joined the FBI, I saw my chance. I'm having fun." Miranda bit into a doughnut and swallowed. "And I wouldn't trade it for anything. How about you?"
"When Derek and I would play cops and robbers with the neighborhood kids, I'd always be one of the cops."
"Cops and robbers? In my neighborhood, we re-enacted the American Civil War. I was usually Clara Barton or Mary Walker."
"I kicked Derek's butt at Clue, too."
The door opened, and grey-haired Irish-born Chief O' Hara came in. He went straight to the counter. "Two standard dozens. To go."
"Hard day?" Miranda asked.
"Ah, yes, lassie," sighed the Chief. "Phantom Blot's running loose again."
"Good luck," came another voice. Thirteen-year-old Junior Commissioner Vallejo of X Middle School's Safety Patrol had appeared behind O'Hara. "Give me some of the strongest coffee you got. Colossal size."
"Folsom on the warpath again?" Elisa smirked.
Vallejo snatched the cup of coffee and dropped a few dollar bills on the counter. "Love to stay and complain, but she was taking a ten-minute break from chewing me out." With that, he ran out of the cafe. O' Hara followed, carrying the boxes of donuts.
Elisa bit into one of her own doughnuts. "So, didn't Bonkers and Fawn recently tie the knot?"
"Yup. Half of Toontown was there. And guess who caught the bouquet?"
The door opened once again. Matthew Bluestone strolled to the counter and ordered a cup of coffee. After paying the cashier, he turned and headed towards his partner's table.
There was a flash of blue and orange that crashed into the deadpan officer.
Matt bit back a yell as hot coffee spilled on his front. His brown trenchcoat was now stained.
Bonkers D. Bobcat looked rather embarrassed. "I am so sorry!" He held up a box of Toon Soap. "I'll help you get that off!"
Matt looked about as thrilled as Eddie Valiant in the movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit? "Get away from me!" He turned to the table. His jaw dropped when he caught a glimpse of Miranda.
Bonkers poured the soap over the coat and wiped. There was now a white patch on the coat where the stain was. "Hmm...stubborn stain."
Bluestone wasn't even paying attention anymore.
Elisa waved her hand over her partner's face. "Earth to Matt!"
Miranda tried not to look at Matt's coat. "Sorry about my partner. He gets a little excited." She glanced at her watch. "Come on, Bonkers. We better get back to the precinct. You know Grating." She took out her coin purse and paid half the bill. "Talk to you later, Elise. Say hi to the clan for me."
"Bye, Mir. Give Kannifky my regards."
Miranda and Bonkers left.
Matt took off his coat. "We should be getting back too. Who was that?"
"Bonkers D. Bobcat, a movie star-turned-police officer," answered his partner.
"No! The woman!"
"Matt Bluestone, ladies man," groaned Elisa.
"Ooh, that hurts."
The end