Severus Snape: Do You Know?

by SevSnape13

Do you know what it feels like to have the only one you care about turn their back on you? Severus does. Are you familiar to pain? Severus is. But when Severus is pushed too far over the edge for redemption to reach him, he snaps. Suicide themes. Character death. One-shot.

Do you know what it feels like to hurt?

Severus Snape walks into his quarters, punching the wall and throwing things across the room. He hates Albus, Remus, Potter, Granger, Weasley and every other miserable being in the world. Every single one.

To be left out in the dark?

Severus Snape sat in his room, in the darkness. The darkness wraps around his thin body, binding him. Blinding him. Making him a prisoner of the dark. The sorrow in the room is so thick, that it chokes him.

To be alone?

Alone, and hurt, Severus takes out his dagger, shiny and bright. The only bright thing in his life. As his friend, the one he named Jade, ran across his forearm, he began to feel his anger dissipate.

To be forgotten?

Later, as the only thing he felt is the pain in his forearm, he realizes that no one came. Not Albus, or his best friend, Lucius. Not even Draco. Forgotten. He's forgotten. And for that reason, Severus takes the dagger out again.

Have you ever been broken beyond repair?

Now drunk, Severus cries his heart out into his pillow. Muttering and occasionally murmuring about the past, he begins to grow more and more miserable. Like a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode. Ticking. Ticking. Ticking.

Have you been a victim of tormenting?

Severus lay on the couch, tormented by his own mind, as his soul slowly fades away. As his mind begins to become muddled. As his spirit begins to die out. As he dies out. Bleeds out. Gashes cover his forearm, and he cannot bear the look of it. He throws up. Then cuts again. And again. And again.

Have you felt misunderstood?

"I hate all of you miserable buggers," Severus whispers to no one in general, "I hate you Albus, Remus, Know-it-all Granger, Idiotic Weasley, Arrogant Potter. You're all going to hell."

"Nobody understands. Nobody. Not one person in this world can tell anything about me. The true me. The pathetic me."

Filthy?

Severus begins to scratch at his skin, making the blood gush out all the more. He begins to feel like a hundred fire ants are crawling all over him. Like he has filth covering him. Filthiness covers him.

Different?

I am different. That thought has been carved into Severus' mind at an early age. He is different. He is a freak. He is stupid, pathetic, worthless and useless. He deserves no love. He deserves no kindness. Only pain. And now... he deserves death, or so he thinks.