In Sweet Misery
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, though my life would be so much easier if I did.
A/U: If there are grammatical errors I will apologize now so that you have been warned. I do try my best but sometimes I miss stuff. If u review (I sincerely hope u do) you may tell me what it is that I need to fix and I will do so with the utmost care. Thank you and enjoy!
I was in misery, I can't fathom the specific reason for it. All I know was that I read a message and my insides ached from the loss of something that was never really mine to begin with. So tell me how does one cope with this inevitable truth?
I only remember being so happy, and sad that I was crying, behaving like a little love sick school girl. But everyone has a breaking point and he made me fall apart. He did nothing wrong…except he loves me. He tells me so all the time, that no matter what I do he will be there to pick up the tiny little shards. I just wonder; will there be something every time to pick up?
I ask him "Why is it that you love me? Why do you want to be with me?" His reply was "Because you're awesome. For that reason, I will love you." It was so simple and it teared me apart. Knowing how damaged and broken I was and he was faithfully by my side…till the end. But for just how long will he stay this way? Till I drag him with me to hell…or before?
He keeps whispering his unending love, saying that if I were to run he would follow me, and catch me. That if I were to punch him and beat him he would take it because he knew it would make me feel better. Do I really have the heart to hurt the only good thing worth living for in my life…or do I just run and pray that it can't follow me? This is the question I am faced with, and my answer was less than to be desired.
I thought about doing the most cowardly thing any human being can do. Just to end it all and make it go away. Make it so that he can have a happy life with someone closer and able to love with a non-broken heart. So I ponder my options, I don't think some would be as painful so I get rid of them. I need to make myself hurt as I have hurt him. Even if I haven't hurt him…yet. So what method will I chose to end this horrible life that I have tried salvaging?
I thought I had found the best way, as I was pondering my procedure to execute it, my computer lights up with a ding signifying I have a message. I look at the message and it was from my beloved. It was his promise to see me before we did anything else with our lives after school. He wished to see me this week. I was once again on the fence between crying with happiness and crying with guilt. This fool that I love so much is digging his grave faster and faster. But I will surly love him till the end. Forever if that's what it takes. But just how long is my forever? Not very long I would imagine.
I have decided tonight I would set my end into motion. Just make it easier for everyone…especially him. I want him alive and happy like he always is, just with someone else and happy as him. I will say it now: Goodbye my beloved.
*-*- (Guys P.O.V)
I was playing my game on my computer when my computer made a noise saying that I had a message. Would it be from her? I hastily put the game on pause and looked at the chat window, it was her. I grew excited with anticipation. But as I read the message my life took a screeching halt, as if someone had hit pause and the only functioning part was my eyes.
"Im sorry my love, but I couldn't take the risk of hurting you anymore. I have thought about this time and time again. I know you will probably be furious with me but I want to tell you now, not hear it by the T.V. My love, you are the reason I must let go of this twisted life. It is not your fault, I just wish for you to be happy. Not verbally abused by the one you claim you love so much. You may think that I never did such a thing but I feel so wrong knowing that I was so mean and spiteful to you. Though you never seem to mind. You simply laugh and say "But you love me though." Well my answer was always "Of course." And I would smile, well I can't let you tell me that any longer. I'm dragging you with me to hell and I can't take you farther. I can make you a promise: If we were to go on all I would do is hurt you. So I will tell you now that I am sorry my love. I will always love you and I hope that this message makes you realize that you need to keep going and find her. Because we should both know that it's not me…please don't lie to us both.
~Your Beloved
Till Forever ends and more
When someone hit play again, that was when the tears fell and 20 years later they still fall with the same fury.