Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize.
AN: This was prompted by eleventhimpala on Milady_Milord which was also inspired by my Jeff/Annie video "Centerfold." A link can be found in my profile.
Jeff walks into his apartment carrying his mail. He passes Chang who is on his way out, excited about some scheme to get Shirley and Andre to let him be a part of the baby's life. For a fleeting moment, Jeff considers warning Shirley, but then he realizes anything that keeps Chang away from him is a good thing. Shirley can take care of herself anyway.
He sits down on his sofa and flips through his latest copy of Maxim. If anyone were to ask‒for the record‒he does read the articles, but he looks at the pictures of hot women first. His eye catches the photo of a nicely figured brunette in a white men's dress shirt and black underwear. Sure, it's a cliché, but it's a cliché for a reason. And he will expertly argue against any straight male who will try to claim it is not a turn on.
Even perfect guy Rich would have to agree. He really doesn't want to think about Rich while looking at these photos, so his thoughts naturally move on to Annie. Less creepy, but he should probably feel guilty (for the moment) for thinking about his hot, young friend doesn't make him feel like a perverted old man. Again, he refers to his original argument of being a straight male.
Thinking of Annie leads to thinking of her in a man's dress shirt and black underwear. Not just any man's shirt, but his. Annie admitted she was originally supposed to be a part of the joke to dress in his clothes with Abed and Troy, but she arrived late. He wanted to kick himself for leaving the study room too soon. His mind is so focused on the image of Annie in his shirt that he starts picturing her face on the model in the magazine. He shakes his head to clear the thoughts.
But the photo doesn't change.
He flips through the next photos. More pictures of Annie in sexy clothes that reveal more skin than he's ever seen of her in her skirts. Yes, he's snuck glances at her legs on the days she doesn't wear tights. Remember: straight male.
Flipping a few more pages, he finds another model's photo spread, and she looks nothing like Annie. The other model is less hot his mind automatically tells him. He flips back to the previous photos. Still Annie.
He rubs his eyelids trying to mentally clear the thoughts, and he looks again, sure his vision will not betray him this time. No such luck.
Thinking he is mistaken, and this woman just has similar features to Annie he pulls the magazine closer to get a better look at her face. He'd know those wide blue eyes anywhere. Though she is giving off a smoldering look, he's never had the privilege to see before. Before he can stop, his brain has already filed that image away for later use, and his eyes have drifted downward to catch a better look of her cleavage. Realizing what he's doing, he quickly closes the magazine and throws it across the room.
He takes a deep, much needed breath. Maybe it's not real. Maybe it's a prank. Maybe his brain really won't let him see anyone in those pictures but Annie. If someone else were to look at those photos, maybe they wouldn't see Annie.
No way is he going to let anyone else look at those photos because like it or not (and at the moment he really can't decide), he knows that is Annie. Shit! Other guys are going to get to see his Annie. Well, not if he can help it. He races out of his apartment, stopping only to grab his keys and wallet.
The next day, he's in the study room with the group. In between silently fuming, he's taken moments to briefly glance in Annie's direction. He looks away whenever she looks back at him or he gets a mental image of her lounging in one of his shirts and a pair of lacy underwear. He tries not to think about how often that image has come to mind since yesterday. Or last night's dream involving Annie licking a double scoop ice cream cone before exclaiming it to be her favorite flavor: Jeff. For once, he wasn't angry at Chang for using all the hot water this morning.
He made a dent in his bank account buying all copies of the magazine in the tri-county area, and logically he knows this won't stop the men nationwide from seeing the photos, but at least he's significantly reduced the chances of anyone from Greendale seeing them. What was she thinking?
"What was who thinking?" Abed asks. Jeff looks up to see the entire group awaiting his response. Apparently, he had said that last part aloud.
"What was Shonda Rhimes thinking when she decided to do a musical episode of Grey's Anatomy?" The group murmurs in agreement that this was a terrible idea, and after a brief moment in which Troy and Abed consider making a musical incorporating M*A*S*H characters, they return to studying.
He congratulates himself on his quick thinking while also telling himself he needs to calm down. He will have to confront Annie or else be driven crazy by the questions swimming in his head. It will be an awkward conversation that he really didn't want to have, but he needs answers. Why would prim and proper Annie Edison model for a men's magazine? Why would she agree to change her conservative clothes for what is a very small step up from lingerie? Is she dating someone new? Some sleazy pimp type who tricked her into taking the photos? Has she had a pill addiction relapse and taken the photos during some drug induced high? He could convince her to sue the magazine for taking the photos when she was in an impaired state of mind. At the very least, he could get the magazine off the shelf nationwide.
And if she had relapsed, then she would need an intervention. This produces a problem for Jeff, because if he needs the group to stage an intervention, then he will have to explain his reasoning. The group will need proof, and he really doesn't want Abed, Troy and Pierce looking at those photos. That goes double for Pierce.
He will confront her on his own first. As the group files out of study room, he waits behind as Annie packs her belongings. He needs to be cool and calm. He will approach this like he would a trial. He will own this conversation. Annie might break down and cry, but he will be strong this time and not lose focus. He might pull her into a hug, but not too close. Not just yet.
"Are you okay, Jeff? You've been acting strange all day," Annie comments as she looks at him with her trademark concern.
"I saw your photos in Maxim." Damn it! Annie's eyes grow wide and she looks away as a blush inflames her face.
She takes a few moments to compose herself before shyly asking "What did you think?"
"What did I think? That's what you have to say? No explanation. No excuse. No apology. What I think doesn't matter because I didn't even look at them that much. I saw your face, and I immediately closed the magazine. And my actions are not being called into question here."
During Jeff's rant, Annie has forgotten her embarrassment. Her face is set in anger and disbelief; she squares her shoulders, and crosses her arms. The last actions have emphasized her cleavage, and Jeff can't even bother denying to himself that he notices. However, he prepares himself for a fight when he sees Annie's displeased expression.
"Why should I apologize or owe you an explanation? It's my body, I can do what I want with it, and I don't have to explain myself to anyone."
"Is this about your money problems? You know you could have come to me for help. I may not be making what I use to, but I certainly have enough to help you. You didn't have to do this."
"No, I couldn't ask you because that would be no different than excepting money from my parents or Pierce."
"I wouldn't ask you to ignore your problems, and I have no need to buy my popularity, so there is nothing I would expect from you."
"Except, you've just proven you think you know what's best for me. Besides, this isn't entirely about the money. I really liked doing that photo shoot. I don't feel the need to do another one, but during this one, I felt really comfortable with my sexuality. I was confident, and far from the innocent little girl you all make me out to be," Annie explained.
He looks down, feeling ashamed for Annie still not getting some respect she's earned. "Trust me, I haven't thought of you as a little girl in long while, and I knew you weren't innocent when you manipulated me into coming to your party." He paused before looking her in the eye. "But I'm sorry you felt that way. And if those photos help you in any way, then I'm glad for you, and I will work on coming to terms with the fact of their existence."
Annie smiled knowing it was the best he could offer. "Thanks. I'll admit I'm kind of nervous about anyone from Greendale recognizing me."
"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that too much." Upon Annie's questioning glance, he awkwardly admitted to buying up all the copies.
"What are you going to do with all of them?" Annie asked.
"I will be burning them because I learned the hard way keeping that kind of evidence around will always come back to haunt you." Realizing she might misinterpret his words for another attack on her choice, he added "I just mean having all those magazines might reflect poorly on me."
Annie laughed at his decision to get rid of the evidence, and nodded in understanding.
He would burn all the copies, but it couldn't hurt to save one for himself. In the future, if Annie had ever found his copy, and knowing her she would, he didn't think she would have a problem with him having done so.
The End