Chapter 1
Icedapple sighed, trembling as fear wrapped its cold paws around her.
"What is going on?" Rainwolf inquired, her eyes round with concern.
Icedapple eyed the grey tabby she-cat. "I…" She gulped. "I'm not who you think I am."
Rainwolf cocked her head. "Well…you are my sister. I know who you are well enough."
"You may be convinced that you know me, but if you saw what is actually inside of me, you would wish you would have never known me," Icedapple told her, trying not to let her legs buckle in despair.
When she received no response, she swallowed down her reluctance and forced herself to explain further. "I'm…I'm chaos. I'm a nightmare. I'm not even supposed to be alive. They say that the spirits killed in the Dark Forest Battle are dead, but I promise you they are not. They have been reincarnated into the living Clan cats."
Rainwolf began to purr. "I doubt that you are being serious."
Icedapple's gaze pierced her to the bone. "I have never been more serious in my life. You may not believe me, but I cannot hold this in any longer. I was one of those cats. Every night I dream of what I did in the past and it torments me—you have no idea how horrible I was…" She shivered. "And now I cannot escape from it. I can never forgive myself for what I did in my previous life, even if it happened generations ago."
She could see in her sister's eyes that she was not being regarded in the manner she had hoped. "Perhaps you should visit Olivecloud about it," Rainwolf mewed, "I'm certain she has some techniques in which to deal with that sort of issue. After all, she does have the gift of StarClan's wisdom."
Her intense trepidation quickly melted into fury. "How would she help me? 'StarClan's wisdom?' Are you jesting? If they thought that it was a good idea to place me back here, they are anything but wise."
Rainwolf's eyes clouded. "Watch your tongue," she warned, "StarClan does more for you than you would think."
Icedapple's fur raised and a hiss rang out of her and into the clearing. "Like what? Placing me back here to endure more torture with what I have done?"
"They gave you a second chance. They have given you the chance to correct your mistakes, however bad they were. When you are older and more appreciative, you will be at their paws thanking them endlessly." Her sister shot her a glare as she spoke.
Icedapple considered what Rainwolf had pointed out, but her anger took over her. "You know nothing. If you knew how terrible my deeds were, you would see that they could never be forgiven, no matter how hard I try to correct them." Not waiting for a response, the white she-cat spun around and hurried out of the clearing. She heard Rainwolf call her name, but she did not care. She knew that she could tell no one, not even her own sister.
Hot with infuriation, Icedapple burst into the clearing, pelting to the Warriors den and plopping down onto her empty, cold nest. "Who put thorns in your fur?" Sundawn asked, yawning as she did so.
Everything that Icedapple was experiencing suddenly exploded and were all hurled at Sundawn. "You know for a fact, mangepelt, that it is better to stay out of my affairs. Do not dare ask me again. You think you know how to help but you don't. Stop taking so much pride in yourself and realize how thick-headed you are," She snarled.
Sundawn blinked, apparently not affected. "I asked a simple question," she meowed, turning over in her nest.
"I do not care. Stay out of my business," Icedapple hissed.
Silence gripped the air after she said that, and after awhile, Icedapple began to calm down despite the fact that she knew she would be plagued by yet another nightmare of her previous life. Hanging her head in despair, she laid her head down, worrying, shaking, panting…
Waiting for her ultimate nightmare to come alive.
Icedapple stayed awake the entire night, watching as the shadows loomed across the den, and wondered if she would ever find the salvation she needed. She pondered her issue, her eyes weary with exhaustion…and the sun was beginning to appear over the horizon when it finally clicked.
She sat up in her nest, her paws tingling in excitement.
She finally knew what she had to do.
