Title: You're My Crack of Sunlight
Summary: Oneshot. What was Jenny thinking during Judgment Day I? Inspired by Pink's "I'm Not Dead".
Disclaimer: I neither own NCIS nor Pink's beautiful song "I'm Not Dead".
A/N: I've been wanting to do a fic like this for a while. It's very choppy, because that's what people's thoughts are like – fast, fleeting ideas that come and go very quickly and sort of run into each other.
Isn't "I'm Not Dead" so very Jenny? Lol.
No, I will never, ever, ever give up on Jibbs. There will be plenty of fanfiction of the Jibbsish nature in the future. I couldn't bear to let Jenny go. :)
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"Mr. Oshimida."
Flip back almost thirteen years. "Oshimida."
Russia. Back in the days of my being an agent, with Decker and Jethro.
Shit. That woman. My past's come back to bite me in the ass.
Maybe not just me. Decker's dead.
Jethro.
Quick, take a couple pictures. Send them to Abby, get them analyzed.
Shit, Jen. Your biggest fuck-up is trying to kill you and Jethro.
-
You called Franks. Good girl. As soon as you say Jethro's name, he'll be on board.
I can't believe you didn't kill her.
I was so new at the game!
No excuses.
I know. Especially because I put Jethro in danger.
Find the clues that Decker left you. Get to them before they can get to Jethro.
What about me?
I don't care.
-
You've got the location to the diner. Mike jumped on board, just like you thought.
Bringggg.
Shit. Ziva again. Much as I love the girl, she's got to stop calling me every two seconds.
Hit the ignore button.
Drive, Jennifer.
-
Got the code. Got the pictures. Just like back in the old days.
Memory's a little rusty, but it'll pass.
Mike's a little crude, but he's helpful. It's good to know that no matter what happens today, he'll always have Jethro's back.
Won't you?
Not always. Maybe not even as long as Mike will.
You're sick…
Yeah. But that's not what's gonna kill me.
-
Remember when you and Jethro were in Paris?
There was a story on the news about a man who died saving his girlfriend from a house fire. Jethro thought that was one of the bravest things anyone could do, die while trying to save someone you love.
Tragically romantic. Story of my life.
End of my life?
Better this than lying uselessly in a hospital bed on life support. Suicide by Russian terrorist, not exactly Romeo and Juliet but appropriate for our situation.
I'll die to save him.
No regrets.
A single regret – Jethro and I didn't try again. I regret that.
Anything else?
No.
-
You love Jethro.
Yes.
You'd die to save him?
Without a backwards glance.
Do you think he loves you?
Haven't the faintest clue. I hope he does.
You do?
I used to. Maybe it'll be better for him after this happens if he doesn't.
You know he does.
Yeah, I do.
-
Waiting in the diner all by myself. Mike went to the head. My mind isn't going to settle down after that conversation.
All about Jethro. Of course. What else could the final moments of my life be spent discussing?
Mike knows I still love Jethro, that I regret leaving him. I hope he passes that information down the grapevine.
Even after being separated for so many years, we ended up together at NCIS. I know he thought about me the same way I thought about him.
Even when he was with Hollis - before I was showing my obvious loathing for the woman - his eyes still lingered on me longer than they did on her.
She noticed it. So did Tony and Ziva.
That man drove me crazy. The sexual tension in the office was getting very close to cracking in a very explosive way that would have left both of us dissatisfied.
God I love him.
You're not doing this for just Jethro's preservation – you're doing it for yours, too.
I'm already dying. There's nothing to preserve.
What if you live?
If the sound of those feet crunching up the walk is anything to go by, I damn well don't have long.
-
Guns. A bullet hits my arm.
Fuck, that hurts.
Keep going. Shoot. Pull the trigger.
Another bullet grazes me.
Ow. Ow. Motherfucker.
The world is tilting.
Keep pulling the trigger, Jennifer.
Get them all. Maybe Mike can finish them off if I miss.
Jesus Christ, I'm bleeding all over the place.
I won't miss. I'm protecting someone.
They're all down.
Good, because I'm fading fast.
I love you, Jethro.
You can do the math a thousand ways
But you can't erase the facts
That others come and others go
But you always come back
I'm a winter flower underground
Always thirsty for summer rain
And just like the change in seasons
I know you'll be back again
I'm not dead
Just floating
Underneath the ink of my tattoo
I've tried to hide my scars from you
I'm not scared
Just changing
Right behind the cigarette and the devilish smile
You're my crack of sunlight
-Fin-