Writers block, how do I begin to explain my loyal dislike towards the two combined words? So this is the result of writes block, about a drink in, over the span of two days and being tired. Add that with the song Soldier by Gavin DeGraw playing in the background and here is the result.
I have ideas for Derek Laws brewing. Little Stilinski Hale is being difficult, working on that though promise.
Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Wolf, nor do I own the song.
Where did all the people go
they got scared when the lights went low.
I get you through it nice and slow,
when the world's spinning out of control.
Derek let out a pained sigh as he lay down on the hood of his Camaro. His eyes staring at the sky, the stars were attempting to shine through the clouds. It seemed fitting for the situation, the lycan always found himself feeling down and depressed when it closed in on the Anniversary of the Hale House fire. And it seemed that the stars and the weather understood his mood and decided to match it. The pack had contacted him throughout the week and of course, Derek pushed them away saying he needed to be alone. They were persistent though, but when Derek asserted his Alpha dominance, well they easily backed down. Well, all except one, Stiles Stilinski.
"Stiles, what part of 'please leave me alone' do you not understand."
Stiles shrugged. "The please part."
Derek scowled. "You're annoying."
"I've been told."
"Go away Stiles."
"No, Derek, you think going through this alone is goi-"
"We are not talking about it, I'm not talking about it!"
Stiles huffed. "That's bull shit."
Afraid of what they might lose
might get scraped or they might get bruised.
You can beg on what's the use
that's why it's called the moment of truth
Derek growled and in a flash Stiles found himself pinned to the hood of jeep. Derek's red eyes glared into Stiles brown ones. Fear flashed for a moment in the teen's eyes but was gone in seconds. Determination flowing through the teen's veins, "Derek," Stiles whispered, "being hurt, and sad isn't going to kill you."
Derek let him go. "It's not that."
"Alright so what is then?
"I'm the Alpha of this pack, I can't, I won't show any sign of weakness."
"Derek, we won't think any less of you, I won't think any less of you, it just makes you look human."
"It doesn't matter Stiles."
Stiles reached forward, his hand gripping the lycan's shirt. "Der, talk to me, please."
I'd get it if you need it,
I'll search if you don't see it,
you're thirsty, I'll be your rain,
you get hurt, I'll take your pain.
I know you don't believe it,
but I said it and I still mean it,
when you heard what i told you,
when you get worried I'll be your soldier
"Der," the lycan breathed, eye brow raised.
Stiles blushed. "Sorry."
Derek smiled, just a little, "I like it."
Stiles breathed. "Derek, please stop keeping all your emotions bottled up inside."
"It's not easy Stiles, to talk about it."
"But Derek."
"I have to do this alone, I just, it's-"
"You don't have too and you know that, Derek, I want to help, let me help."
Derek sighed and Stiles could slowly see the Alpha's walls crumbling.
Funny when times get hard,
at the last moment when it's supposed to charge,
we are always on the longest yard,
oh they feel their feet get cold.
Derek looked up at the sky. "I lay out here sometimes looking at the stars, I find myself doing it more often especially close to the day of the fire."
Stiles nodded. "Why is that?"
"The Lion King."
Stiles looked confused. "The Lion King?"
"Remember the part with the stars, where Mufasa tells Simba that the great kings of the past are watching him."
"Yeah, I remember that part."
Derek smiled sadly. "I like to think that that's what my family is doing but when I think about it, it hurts because they are up there watching over me."
"But it shouldn't."
Hiding here, hiding there,
find them underneath the stairs,
people hiding everywhere,
trying to be still like a stone.
Derek walked away and resumed his position on the hood of his Camaro. "It hurts because I always wonder if they're upset with me, are they happy, proud, angry, or maybe they're disappointed."
"I'm sure they aren't Derek, you didn't know, and Kate, well, she was manipulative."
Derek huffed. "But I should've seen it Stiles."
"Derek, you didn't know what she was."
"Doesn't matter, I don't want another repeat, I let someone in it screws me over."
"But Derek, we're your pack members don't push us away and we won't ever do that to you, ever."
"I know you won't it's just and I'm trying not to and I don't always push you guys away but damn it Stiles," Derek rambled, "just I don't know what you want from me, just please, please leave me alone."
Stiles moved over to where Derek was. He hovered over the lycan for a minute, then he leaned over. Hands pinning Derek down. "You know what fine you can push the others away I don't care, but not me, don't push me away, please let me help you."
I'd get it if you need it,
I'll search if you don't see it,
you're thirsty, I'll be your rain,
you get hurt, I'll take your pain.
Derek took in a shaky breathe, and Stiles went to move but was stopped. Derek reached up, his hand gripped the teen's shirt and tugged him back. Shocked the teen lost his balance, he fell over but Derek caught him and lips brushed against each other softly.
Stiles' breathing hitched and Derek whined deep in his throat. "Stiles," the werewolf whimpered.
Stiles understood, something clicked in his brain. Throwing caution to the wind he pressed himself closer to Derek and closed the gap. Their lips met in a gentle kiss, hands gripping and Derek groaned pulling Stiles closer. Stiles pulled away, breathing ragged. And it was then that he noticed that Derek was crying. "I miss them Stiles."
Stiles nodded. "I know Der."
"It hurts, I love them, and they were my family, my pack."
I know you don't believe it,
but I said it and i still mean it,
when you heard what I told you,
when you get worried I'll be your soldier
"Derek, you have us now, you got Allison, Scott, Danny, Lydia, Jackson."
Derek nodded.
"You got me, I'm here for you Derek, I always will be."
Derek nodded again.
"It's okay to talk about, don't give in and just sit here by yourself."
My aim is so true,
I wanna show you,
I'll try forever,
I'm never gonna say surrender.
Derek breathed deeply. "I won't"
"It hurts Derek, seeing you hurt."
Derek's eyes widened.
"I wish I could take your pain away, I want to be the one to take your pain away."
I'd get it if you need it,
I'll search if you don't see it,
you're thirsty, I'll be your rain,
you get hurt, I'll take your pain.
Derek leaned up and placed a gentle kiss on the teen's lips. Stiles let out a content sigh and for a second time that night he's thinking process went out the window. He lowered himself till he completely lay on top of the lycan. He cuddled against the Alpha, legs tangled together, arms round the older man's chest. Derek let out a small smile, arms reached up and circled around Stiles' waist holding him close. "Stiles," he whispered.
Stiles lifted his head, looking up at Derek, "Yeah?"
"I love you."
"I love you too."
Derek shook his head. "No, I mean I love you, love you."
Stiles grinned. "I know Derek, and I love you too, and I mean it."
"Can you promise me something?"
Stiles nodded. "Yeah."
"Don't go."
"I won't, you're stuck with me."
I know you don't believe it,
but I said it and I still mean it,
when you heard what I told you,
when you get worried I'll be your soldier
Derek let out a content sigh, his eyes gazed up at the sky and he noticed that the clouds had cleared somewhat. His eyes shifted down towards Stiles, the teen had moved again. One hand, fisting Derek's shirt, and Derek noticed that the other hand was drawing patterns on his shoulder. Derek suddenly noticed that he was getting tired and his eyes began to drift shut. "Derek," Stiles whispered.
"Hmmm.
"Don't push me away, okay."
"Okay, I promise."
"Good."
Derek groaned, he shifted a bit, he kept one arm holding Stiles and the other he brought up and rested his head on. "Sleepy," he grumbled.
"Sleep, I'll be here," Stiles said gently.
"Mmm, stay here with me."
"I'll be here, sleep Der."
I'll be your soldier
I'll be, oh I'll be your soldier
I'll be your soldier