A/N: This was supposed to be part of Blaine Big Bang and was supposed to have 3 parts (up to when they get married). However, I didn't have time to write the rest so I dropped out of the BBB. So here it is, 8K of it and it was inspired by a true story. The idea come from the theory that what if Blaine and Sebastian never met, and Blaine hasn't had a boyfriend because he hasn't found the right person who fits his very unique criteria (you'll find out as you read along) until Sebastian comes along? Big thanks to takenoverbyrocknroll and mothergoddamn for beta-ing this. To my dear readers, if you like this, please review and rec it! Also, I have a tumblr and I'd be honored if you can follow me at "rykerstrom . tumblr . com". Thank you and enjoy.
FAILURE TO LAUNCH
People always said that friends with benefits would never end up in a relationship. For the longest time, that was what Blaine Anderson believed as well. He never thought that he would be proven wrong.
Throughout his life, Blaine had his fair share of crushes. But for some reason, they just never seemed to work out. At the age of twenty-two, Blaine had never been anyone's boyfriend, or even fling, for that matter.
Blaine had his first crush when he was eleven. It seemed odd to him at the time that he would be crushing on a boy, but girls didn't interest him at all. For a few long weeks, Blaine debated whether he should tell the boy, but that decision was made for him when he found out one morning that his crush had asked one of his female classmates out.
Blaine was utterly dejected.
At fourteen, Blaine started high school at Dalton Academy. The open-minded atmosphere and their zero tolerance for bullying made it more at ease for gay students to date without the fear of ridicule or violence. It was in this environment, that Blaine had his second crush.
Apparently, just because Blaine's crush was also gay this time didn't necessarily mean the feelings would be returned. Blaine was crushed.
Blaine had his third crush during his final year at Dalton, and to Blaine's amazement, his crush liked him back. But unfortunately for Blaine, this revelation happened right before they were about to graduate and head off to university; and Blaine's crush decided that he didn't want to pursue a long distance relationship.
Really, two time zones away weren't that far. He reasoned that if both of them were still on the same continent, then it didn't count as long distance. Well, it would appear that most people didn't share Blaine's sentiment or reasoning when it came to distance.
With his high school days soon coming to an end, Blaine Anderson decided that he would put these behind him and look forward to university. Surely he would find someone there.
University years went by in a blur. There were classes after classes, exams after exams. Party life was non-existent for Blaine. He joined a fraternity, but it was a business fraternity so most people would say that it didn't quite count. Blaine joined quite a number of on-campus clubs and societies as well, but he didn't date.
Truth to be told, Blaine probably wouldn't have minded dating during his university years if the right guy came along. Unfortunately, it seemed that getting a boyfriend still wasn't in his cards.
During his freshman year, Blaine met Charlie. Actually, to be more specific, Charlie found Blaine. Blaine was studying in his room when he received an email out of the blue from him. Charlie was a junior. He said he found Blaine's photo in the freshman introduction guide and would love to have coffee with him. Being the ever careful person that he was, Blaine did all the research he could to make sure that Charlie was legit, and that he wasn't some serial killer pretending to be a student. As it turned out, Charlie actually lived in the same dorm as Blaine. So it was with quite a bit of excitement that Blaine said yes to the coffee.
"You don't look like the picture." That was the first thing Charlie said.
"Excuse me?"
"The picture in the freshman introductory book," Charlie clarified. "You look different."
Blaine was trying to decide whether it was good or bad.
In the end, it didn't matter; because Charlie was a creep. He had a tendency to invade Blaine's personal space, talk about subject matters that were too disturbing for Blaine to swallow, and seemed to think too highly of himself. At the end of the coffee date, Blaine was more than relieved that Charlie didn't ask for a second date. Blaine in the flesh must not have lived up to Blaine in the photo.
After that, Blaine Anderson decided that all the drama, stress, and heartbreak that resulted from having crushes or relationships in general were simply not worth it. It would be more productive for Blaine to focus on his studies, ensure that he obtained high grades so that he could get into a good organization after he graduated and have a great career.
Instead, Blaine Anderson made friends. They studied together, went to comedy shows together, and attended school activities together. It made Blaine felt like he was back with the Warblers again, where everyone did something they liked together and celebrated the camaraderie.
Of course, with that also came relationships drama that happened when friends were dating one another.
For some strange reasons, being one of the few gay men in the circle somehow meant that Blaine was the default relationship go-to guy. Or more specifically, the guy that everyone would go and rant to whenever a relationship didn't work out. Blaine always found it strange that people would talk to him about relationship matters, given that he hadn't had any; but he just chalked it up to being a good friend and did his best to listen to his friends' relationship plights.
During the early university years, a lot of the relationship drama ended up being something of a similar nature. The more he listened to them, the more cynical Blaine became.
The big issue here, aside from the fact that Blaine did not believe that anyone had a right to be a douche or a cheater, was that all that Blaine had been seeing during his university years conflicted with his belief of what his ideal romantic relationship would be like. Blaine believed in perfection, the perfect kind of love where things always worked out.
Growing up, Blaine believed in meeting the person of his dreams. They would meet them when he was young, hit it off right away, became best friends, and they would make promises to each other to stay together forever. And then on one particularly romantic night, they would give their virginities to each other, and eventually get married. That was supposed to be the way it worked. It was not supposed to be a complicated mess that Blaine saw on almost a day to day basis.
As far as relationships were concerned, Blaine never envisioned it to be a scenario where someone had to go through so many lovers and heartbreaks before finding "the one". The fact that one couldn't give his virginity to the right person on the first try somehow left a rather bitter taste in Blaine's mouth.
Blaine decided that boyfriends and relationships could wait.
University was over before Blaine knew it. It was almost as though one moment he was still trying to find his way through the history building and the next thing he knew, he was standing at the podium shaking hands with the dean of the school, receiving his diploma.
It was a great graduation. Blaine's entire family actually showed up, and so did some of his friends who didn't graduate the same year. It was an exciting and hopeful time for Blaine. All the years of hard work at school had paid off. He had himself a relatively promising job waiting for him as soon as the summer was over.
Corporate world was full of surprises for Blaine. Everything was more about networking and knowing how to play the cards right as opposed to doing hard work. It was a difficult adjustment and rather bewildering for Blaine. Still, he managed it the best he could, even though getting backstabbed from time to time wasn't the best feeling in the world.
It could get rather lonesome living in a small apartment studio on his own. So one day, on the spur of the moment, Blaine decided to buy himself two guinea pigs. After all, it would be good to come home to something alive at the end of the long work day. It wasn't like Blaine would be going anywhere anytime soon.
A week later, Blaine's boss told him that he had to go on a two week assignment to another state.
"I'm sorry Blainers, I'd really love to help, but I can't." Nick's voice on the other side was apologetic. "I love animals but I have a cat in the house. He'll get to the pigs."
"But … the pigs would be in the cage the whole time," Blaine tried to explain. "There isn't anyone here who would take them. I've only had these guys for a week."
"Believe me; my cat will know how to get into the cage." Nick was firm. "The last time he found a mouse, it was not pretty."
"But I can't just leave these guys here at the apartment." Blaine looked at the guinea pigs. "I can't just leave them a lot of food and hope it sustains them."
"Tell you what? Let me ask around." Blaine heard Nick rummaging through things on the other end. "Let me see who else I know can take them in, ok? I'll get back to you in an hour."
"Thanks, Nick."
"Sure."
And that, was how Blaine met Sebastian Smythe.
"Yeah, so I found a friend who said he can take in your pigs while you're gone." There was a trace of slight uncertainty in Nick's voice.
"Really? That's great. What's wrong?"
"Eh, nothing." Nick replied quickly. "His name's Sebastian, he transferred Dalton during his senior year, one year your junior. He's also a Warbler and lives a few blocks down from my place."
"Oh. Great, so we have something in common." Blaine was always happy to make a new friend, especially if they shared the same interest in singing.
"Right and uh … yeah, just bring your pigs by the night before or on the day you leave. I'll text you his number and address."
"Thanks, Nick. You're the best!"
"Don't thank me yet."
Blaine wondered what Nick meant by that, but he found out pretty quickly after meeting Sebastian in person.
Sebastian lived in the very affluent part of town. It seemed a bit lavish for a university student to be renting a place out here. Blaine rang the doorbell once and heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Blaine did a double take when the door opened.
Standing before him was probably the most good-looking man Blaine had ever seen. His had a chiseled face, a pair of deep set eyes with color that reminded Blaine of the most radiant shade of turquoise, a sharp, strong jawline and a head of light brown hair. Light brown hair that was dripping wet, along with the rest of his body. And this man was half naked with only a towel wrapped around his waist.
"Um, Blaine … Anderson." Blaine stammered.
"Sebastian Smythe, actually." There was a glimmer of mischief in those eyes. Blaine swore that he could probably get lost in those sea green pools forever.
"I mean I'm Blaine Anderson." Blaine felt uneasy. He also knew that he needed to stop staring.
"I know, I'm just giving you a hard time." Sebastian grinned and looked Blaine up and down. "Cute."
"Ex-excuse me?" Did Sebastian just call him cute?
"The guinea pigs, they're cute."
Oh.
"Come on in." Sebastian motioned for Blaine to come inside. "I'm gonna freeze standing here."
"Oh, right. Sorry!" Blaine hurried inside.
Sebastian's place was nicely furnished with a minimalist and modern style. Based on the design of the interior and the furniture setup, it soon became very clear to Blaine that there was no way this place was a rental. It was too customized to be a rented apartment.
"Do you want anything to drink?" Sebastian was still wearing a towel and Blaine found it immensely distracting.
"No, no thanks." Blaine gestured at the two guinea pigs huddling in the cage. "I just came by to drop them off. I have to head to the airport in a few hours and I haven't packed yet."
"Okay." Sebastian came closer and took a good look at the guinea pigs. "What do you need me to do?"
"I have a list." Blaine took out a folder from his messenger bag. "The bag next to the cage is their food. This is the feeding schedule, portion, and the number of the vet. If anything's wrong, please just take them to the vet right away. I'll cover all the costs."
"Okay." Sebastian took the folder from Blaine. "Anything else I need to know?"
"No, not really." Blaine was trying very hard not to stare. "Oh, the white one is called Snow White, the orange one is called Rose Red."
"Really? That's just darling."
"They're sisters. It just- I don't know. It just sounds better that way."
"Okay, Snow White and Rose Red they are." Sebastian looked at Blaine again. "So … you got a thing for fairytales?"
"What do you mean?" Blaine could've sworn that the towel was hanging lower now.
"Ever heard of the story of 'Little Red Riding Hood'?" Sebastian sat down next to Blaine. "The real version. For grown ups."
"Of course ," Blaine replied almost haughtily. His mother, scandalized, had taken the book off him enough times with a swift smack to the back of his head.
"You remind me of the Little Red Riding Hood who has just come to grandma's house." Sebastian leaned closer. "And you have just encountered the big bad wolf."
The look on Blaine's face must've been ridiculous, because Sebastian burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?"
"Oh, God!" Sebastian was still laughing. "It's just … you … You looked so scared!"
"Well, to be fair you just casually said you were going to molest me!"
"You looked as if I was gonna eat you." Sebastian wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "Oh, you're cute."
He said I'm cute! Wait, he just made fun of me.
"Well, you know." The look on Sebastian's face suddenly turned feral. "I won't eat you unless you want me to."
"Um…"
Sebastian started laughing again.
"Oh man, I'm so sorry. You're just seemed so serious." Sebastian bit back another laugh. "All right, back to serious business. I'll take care of these guys while you're gone."
"Thanks."
"How are you gonna repay me?"
"Wh-what?" Blaine suddenly remembered that he should be paying Sebastian for this. "Um … how much a day is fair?"
"Oh no, I don't want money." Sebastian grinned. "How about some sexual favors?"
"What, I—" Blaine wasn't sure if he should be shocked, offended, or embarrassed.
"Just kidding! Blaine, you really need to relax." Sebastian stood up and readjusted his towel. "Well, I better let you go if you wanna catch the flight. See you around!"
Sebastian wasn't the best pet sitter in the world. It was either that or he just didn't have much luck when it came to dealing with guinea pigs. It happened when Blaine was half way through his business trip. He came out of a meeting seeing five missed calls and ten text messages from Sebastian.
"Blaine, I'm so sorry!" Sebastian was apologizing profusely on the other line. "I don't know what happened. I woke up and they weren't breathing! I rushed them to the vet right away and it was too late."
"How did they die?"
"I don't know! The vet said sometimes it happens." Sebastian sounded miserable. "I'm really sorry. I feel horrible about this. They were fine the night before, I was playing with them. They were fine the days before that too. I played with them every day!"
"What did you do with the bodies?"
"I … had them cremated." Sebastian's voice wavered a bit. "I took their ashes back. You can pick them up when you come back. Blaine, I don't know what to say."
There really wasn't much that Blaine could say at that point except to thank Sebastian for caring for the pigs during his absence. It saddened Blaine to know that his pets had died, but at the end of the day, he had no one to blame but himself. Blaine really shouldn't have gotten any pets when his work required occasional traveling.
After that, Blaine decided that he wouldn't get any pets for as long as he stayed with that company.
Strangely enough, the "guinea pig incident", as Blaine called it, was how Blaine and Sebastian started their friendship. They continued to keep in touch, exchanging text messages and occasional Skype chats. In spite of the teasing, flirting, and uncomfortable raunchiness that would come from Sebastian, Blaine found himself enjoying the intelligent conversation and debates that they shared.
Unfortunately, the more time Blaine spent with Sebastian, the more attractive and interesting Blaine found him. The way Sebastian's eyes would seem to light up at a subject he was passionate about; the way the corner of his eyes would crinkle up when he laughed; the way his eyes would soften when he was patting an animal; and the way he would make sarcastic comments when people were being bigots and jerks; only made Blaine even more aware of Sebastian's positive attributes.
And with that awareness also meant that Blaine's crush toward Sebastian just wouldn't subside or go away, and it bothered him to no end.
After all, it had been a long time since Blaine had been in this situation; and the lack of closure was often the most worrisome. Blaine wanted to know how Sebastian felt toward him, but at the same time, he was afraid of another rejection.
"So I heard that you and Sebastian hang out from time to time?" Nick sounded surprised on the other line.
"We do. He's interesting. Why?"
"I just didn't think you two would hit it off," Nick tried to stifle a laugh. "We all thought he'd have you running for the hills."
"Well, he can be a bit … intense." Blaine sat down and turned on his computer. "But we have a lot in common."
"Like what?" Blaine heard the sound of kitchen cabinet closing on the other line. Nick was probably making dinner.
"Apparently, we think alike on a lot of things and share a lot of similar interests. We've been sharing our film rec list with each other and sometimes we watch them together"
"Really? As in foreign and indie films?" There was still a trace of disbelief in Nick's voice. "So you're telling me that you two have been going on dates?"
"No, not dates. We're still friends." Blaine tried to clarify. I wish, though. "We text each other a lot and joke about stuff. Whenever we disagree on a film, we have a healthy debate."
"And his forwardness doesn't bother you?" Blaine was suddenly reminded of the flirtatious things Sebastian would say sometimes and felt a wave of embarrassment coming over him.
"He doesn't do it that often anymore." Blaine felt some mixed emotions at that realization. As uncomfortable as some of the suggestive things Sebastian said would make him feel from time to time, it also made Blaine feel wanted and flattered; somehow, he missed that feeling.
"Huh." Nick sounded deep in thought as there was silence for a brief moment. "You know, I think Sebastian likes you. He's never been like that toward anyone before."
Blaine felt his heart flutter at the comment. Nick had never made that kind of assessment about anyone before.
"What makes you think that?" Blaine had to make sure. "I mean, I don't even know if he has a boyfriend."
"He wouldn't hang around you if he didn't like you. You should know by now that Sebastian can be a total dick if he wants to be," Nick chuckled. "Probably one of the reasons he's never had a boyfriend, not many can take his personality."
"Wait, he's never had a boyfriend?" Blaine was incredulous. "How do you know?"
"Truth or dare game that we played a while back," Nick answered. "I'm good at reading people; his body language when he replied was a dead giveaway."
"Oh."
"Anyways, I gotta go before my dinner burns up," there was a crash and some cursing in the background. "I think I just lost part of my dinner. I'll see you around."
"Okay, see you."
When Blaine hung up the phone, he felt as though he was on Cloud Nine.
Sebastian doesn't and never had a boyfriend; and he may actually like me.
The second time Blaine was sent on a business trip, it was for a longer engagement which required his company to rent a service apartment during his tenure. That was when Blaine's feeling of loneliness really got to him.
Technically speaking, Blaine shouldn't be feeling lonely. After all, he was on an assignment to Las Vegas, where there were always plenty of people and many things going on; as long as Blaine did the same thing most tourist do, which was to drink and gamble, there should be plenty occasions to interact and be social.
The problem though, was that Blaine Anderson didn't drink or gamble. So instead, when Blaine didn't have to work overtime at the client office, he would walk down the Strip. Essentially, the highlight of his business trip to Las Vegas consisted of only two things: eating at restaurants that could be afforded by his daily per diem, or catching a show at the last minute.
It wasn't a bad life, really. Many of his colleagues would love to have an assignment in Sin City. Except Blaine's colleagues generally didn't share Blaine's problem.
Blaine really missed his family and his friends.
Every time he walked down the Strip, he always saw either families or couples walking hand in hand. He always felt like the only single person walking around. Blaine tried not to let it get to him, but it did. After a while, it got really old.
Lately, it had been coming back to that same thing. The fact that none of Blaine's crushes had ever worked out, and that his love life was non-existent. Now that he had graduated university with flying colors and was working at a relatively good company, he could finally date but yet things were still not working out.
Things just weren't that simple. Truthfully speaking, there were people who were interested in him; people who were great catches. However, Blaine turned them down because of two technicalities.
One, none of them were virgins; and two, none of them were Sebastian Smythe.
Blaine knew how superficial the first reason sounded; even his brother had talked to him about this.
"You know, that shouldn't matter. If you love the person then that really shouldn't matter."
To Blaine, it did.
"Well, I haven't slept with anyone. It's only fair that they're the same way." Blaine argued.
Most people would disagree with Blaine, but Blaine just couldn't get over this little technicality. The technicality, in a way, was an excuse as well. All those years in university hearing about his friends' problems while being witnesses to failed relationships had made Blaine feel somewhat jaded.
Blaine still held onto the romantic notion of finding the one he loved, but he also knew that as he became older, his fairytale would be more difficult to turn into a reality. Blaine valued his virginity immensely. He wanted to give it to someone deserving, but at the same time he had conflicting emotions about giving it to someone who had been with other people. After all, if he had waited all this time for the one, why couldn't "the one" have waited for him?
Somehow, Blaine knew that the particular technicality regarding virginity would affect his relationship with "the one" if it ever happened. Having a good, lasting, relationship was simply too important to be sabotaged by this technicality. So that only meant one thing.
Blaine decided that he only wanted to lose his virginity with another virgin. If that virgin turned out to be "the one" and they started dating, that would be the best case scenario; but Blaine wasn't hopeful about it. So realistically, he would give his first time to someone who was on "equal footing", and then he could be free to pursue and search for "the one" without having to worry about this technicality. The problem was, it just wasn't that easy; especially when in this case Blaine already had a particular someone in mind.
A particular someone with stunning green eyes.
Blaine sighed as he logged onto Skype. Most of his friends weren't online; it looked like it might be an early night after all.
Just as he was about to log off, he heard a pop. Someone had messaged him.
Sebastian Smythe.
Sebastian Smythe: Hey.
Blaine Anderson: Hey, Guinea Pig killer.
Sebastian Smythe: Ouch. I already said I was sorry. I didn't mean it.
Blaine Anderson: I know, but you'll never live it down.
Sebastian Smythe: Ok, maybe it's a bad time to talk to you right now.
Blaine hated how sometimes words could be misconstrued online. He hurriedly typed out the response lest Sebastian decided to log off.
Blaine Anderson: No, no. Talk. I'm bored.
Sebastian Smythe: You're in Vegas. How can you be bored?
Blaine Anderson: Don't like to gamble or drink. Nobody will visit me, you tell me.
Sebastian Smythe: I thought you said your bro may come visit you. L.A. isn't that far from Vegas.
Blaine Anderson: He got busy.
Sebastian Smythe: What about the rest of the gang?
Blaine bit his lip at the mention of his Warbler friends, or as Sebastian puts it, "the gang". Just like his older brother, everyone seemed to be too busy to visit him as well.
Blaine Anderson: They all have other priorities, it would seem.
Sebastian Smythe: Do I detect a hint of bitterness there? Actually, that's why I messaged you.
Blaine Anderson: ?
Sebastian Smythe: You asked if I wanted to come visit the other day. You said your company rented you a suite, extra bed and all?
Blaine's heart skipped a beat. Did that mean Sebastian was going to come visit him? At this point, Blaine didn't even care. It would just be nice to see a familiar face for a change.
Blaine Anderson: Yes?
Sebastian Smythe: So I looked up tickets and flight time. I think I can fly out after my last class this Friday, and then fly back Monday morning since I've got no class on Monday.
Blaine Anderson: You mean you'll actually come visit me?
Sebastian Smythe: No Blaine, I looked up the reservation for fun.
Blaine Anderson: Just making sure. Everyone says they'll visit but they never do.
Sebastian Smythe: Well as soon as you confirm I'll pull the trigger on this thing.
Blaine Anderson: Yes yes, come come.
Sebastian Smythe: You want me to cum?
Blaine Anderson: Ugh, leave it to you to turn everything into porn.
Sebastian Smythe: You set yourself up for that one. Anyway, it's done. I just forwarded you the itinerary.
Blaine Anderson: Great! We can go check out shows and eat at restaurants.
Sebastian Smythe: I was thinking we can watch "Thunder from Down Under".
Blaine Anderson: You're hopeless.
Sebastian Smythe: What, you haven't seen them? Seriously?
Blaine decided not to reply. He suddenly remembered the conversation he had with Nick about Sebastian. While initially bewildered by that fact, Blaine did manage to figure out the reason soon enough - Sebastian's sarcasm, occasional arrogance, and ability to turn just about anything into uncomfortable raunchiness was enough to alienate potential suitors. Blaine had thought that it was simply too bad, because if they had stayed around long enough, they would've seen through Sebastian's façade and learned to appreciate the great guy underneath.
Sebastian Smythe: I can't believe you find Vegas boring. It's called Sin City. Prostitution is legal.
Blaine Anderson: You want me to prostitute myself?
Sebastian Smythe: No, genius. You can get yourself a hustler.
Yup, and there is that sarcasm right there! Blaine thought to himself. iI can't believe I actually miss that about him./i
Blaine Anderson: Ew, no! I'm not that desperate!
Sebastian Smythe: Or you can go to Chinatown and do some sinning in KTV.
Blaine Anderson: Do you mean SINGING or SINNING?
Sebastian Smythe: Typo. Singing.
Blaine Anderson: Uh-huh. What in the world were you thinking?
Sebastian Smythe: Get your mind out of the gutter now, Anderson.
Blaine Anderson: Says the pot. Anyway, I've read that some people do that kind of stuff.
Sebastian Smythe: So I've heard. Is that your secret kink or something?
Blaine Anderson: I think it's stupid.
Sebastian Smythe: What is?
Blaine Anderson: This sex thing.
Sebastian Smythe: You're worrying me. You think sex is stupid?
Blaine Anderson: No, I'm talking about how naïve people are about it. Look at all those kids in school. Always talking about waiting for the one and what not. And then when they finally had sex, they end up breaking up. So whatever happened to "the one"?
Sebastian Smythe: Yeah, don't hold back. Tell me exactly how you feel.
Blaine Anderson: What? You asked. You obviously hadn't had sex for a reason as well.
Sebastian Smythe: Wow, I'm surprised to hear that from you. Whatever happened to the nice Blaine that I know? But to answer your question, I'm selective, ppl aren't hot enough and they don't appreciate my wits.
Blaine Anderson: Nice Blaine is still here, just annoyed.
Sebastian Smythe: At me?
Blaine Anderson: No, at lack of opportunities.
Sebastian Smythe: ?
Blaine took a deep breath. He thought about what he was going to type next and decided that since Sebastian already bought his tickets, there was nothing to lose. At this point in time, regardless of whether Sebastian actually liked Blaine, he figured that they were close enough friends to be honest with each other about various subjects. Worst case scenario would be they might have an awkward weekend hanging out, but whatever.
Blaine Anderson: Ok, this is going to sound weird but I'll say it anyway. I've never had a boyfriend before.
Blaine was half expecting Sebastian to make some kind of smart aleck remark, but surprisingly, he didn't.
Sebastian Smythe: I find it hard to believe, but go on.
Blaine Anderson: I decided not to have one because it's too much drama and it's not worth it to ruin my grades over it. And now that I can actually date, I didn't like the ones who are interested because they don't fit my criteria.
Sebastian Smythe: And that would be …?
Blaine Anderson: They had to be a virgin.
There was a pause on the other end, and then Blaine saw that Sebastian was typing again.
Sebastian Smythe: Explain.
Blaine Anderson: If I'm one, they should be too. Only fair.
When Blaine didn't see an answer from Sebastian, he kept typing.
Blaine Anderson: I know it's stupid, but I can't help it. I mean, if I date someone who isn't a virgin and I end up having sex with them, I'm always gonna wonder if that person's used the same move on their previous partners. Besides, it would just hurt too much if we end up breaking up. It'd be as though I gave it away for nothing. So the only way to get past all that is unless I have sex with someone who is on equal footing, someone who is also a virgin. After that, there will be no pressure if I date people. If it doesn't work out, that's one less thing I can be bitter about. I don't know, I just want things to be fair, and perfect.
Sebastian Smythe: Kinda makes sense.
Blaine Anderson: Really?
Sebastian Smythe: Yeah. So you mean you'd rather get this virginity thing out of the way so you can be free to find a boyfriend who just in case may not be a virgin and who may not work out at the end?
Blaine Anderson: It sounds so depressing and faithless when you put it that way.
Sebastian Smythe: Well to be honest, your cynicism is a bit depressing.
Blaine Anderson: I told you it's stupid.
Sebastian Smythe: I didn't say it is. I'm just saying it's depressing. My parents are each other's first loves; they stayed together and got married.
Blaine Anderson: But they're an exception these days.
Sebastian Smythe: They are, but I'm not saying it doesn't exist.
Blaine Anderson: I know.
Sebastian Smythe: That being said, I can appreciate what you mean.
Blaine Anderson: Thanks. Of course ideally, I'd love to find a boyfriend who is also a virgin, and then we can do everything together, and get married at the end.
Sebastian Smythe: Yeah, you're definitely a cynical romantic. An oxymoron.
Blaine Anderson: Don't make fun of me.
Sebastian Smythe: Sorry, can't resist. Anyway, the longer you wait, the higher the likelihood that you may never find a boyfriend because it's going be hard to find people that fit your criteria as you get older.
Blaine Anderson: I know, I'm already 22. Soon, there won't be any virgins left around my age unless I go rob the cradle, which I'm obviously not going to do!
Sebastian Smythe: Ok, disturbing, the part about the cradle.
Blaine Anderson: I know …
What Blaine saw next made him did a double take.
Sebastian Smythe: Well, if you don't mind. I'm up for it.
Blaine Anderson: You mean like, we have sex?
Sebastian Smythe: No, I mean we go KTV. Yah, sex.
Blaine decided that now was the time to confirm certain things about Sebastian Smythe, regardless of how intrusive the questions might be.
Blaine Anderson: Apologies in advance but I don't know how to ask this properly so I'm just going to ask it as is. Are you implying that you're a virgin too?
Sebastian Smythe: Jesus Christ, Blaine! Yes, I am. Why else would I propose that?
Even though they were typing over Skype, Blaine could sense a hint of embarrassment from Sebastian's own admission. He found it somehow endearing.
Blaine Anderson: So you're saying, when you come this weekend, we're going to have sex. Like all the way, clothes off and stuff.
Blaine simply had to make sure.
Sebastian Smythe: No, I have sex with ALL my clothes on. Geez, Blaine. Yes. You like everything to be set in stone, don't you? Shall I draw up a contract?
Blaine Anderson: Don't complain. You're getting sex.
Sebastian Smythe: So are you. And you're getting great company who also happens to be charming, good-looking, and has very high standard in regards to whom he associates himself with.
Blaine Anderson: I'm honored. So … I'll see you Friday?
Sebastian Smythe: Yah. And if this thing works out, we can spend the whole weekend fucking.
Blaine could feel a blush creeping up on his face. He was glad that he and Sebastian were only typing and not on video conferencing.
Blaine Anderson: Goodnight, Sebastian.
Blaine decided that he wasn't going to argue. He was finally going to lose his virginity, and he was pretty damn glad that he got to lose it with a hot virgin whom he was crushing on while he was at it.
Things were looking up.
The rest of the week went by in a blur. As silly as it sounded, Blaine had been working out fervently for the past week. He knew that four days probably wouldn't make a difference, but Blaine was not taking any chances. He wanted to make sure that he would be in shape when Sebastian came. After all, the last thing Blaine wanted was for Sebastian to change his mind when the clothes came off.
And just to make sure he looked his very best, Blaine looked into getting himself waxed. Not that Blaine minded body hair, but he always felt that his chest could use less. However, with his busy work schedule and so little time, Blaine was unable to find a spa that would offer such service. So he resulted to the next alternative, using hair removal cream.
It turned out to be a pretty bad idea, as Blaine found out the hard way because using too much hair removal cream and leaving it on one's skin for too long could sometimes cause a rash, or in Blaine's case, a rash and slight bleeding. After that failed attempt, Blaine resigned himself to the fact that he would just have to live with having a bit more hair than he'd like.
Hopefully, Sebastian wouldn't mind.
It was strange in a way. Blaine found himself actually counting down to the day that Sebastian would get here. By Friday morning, the anticipation was making Blaine antsy.
By Friday afternoon, Blaine was starting to have doubts. What if he had performance issues? What if Sebastian took a look at him and decided that he didn't look good enough? What if Sebastian couldn't get it up? There were too many things that could've gone wrong.
By Friday evening, Blaine was quite certain that he might be suffering from hypertension. He was so nervous that he almost forgot to lock his rental car as he walked from the airport parking to the arrival hall.
Sebastian was easy to recognize. His tall frame stood out amongst other tourists. Blaine's doubt only heightened when he saw the other boy. Sebastian looked great. Even though Sebastian was wearing long sleeves, Blaine could see the muscle definitions beneath the fabric of Sebastian's turtleneck.
"Hey."
"Hey." Blaine answered back lamely. "Uh, welcome to Las Vegas."
"What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." Sebastian quoted. "Well, let's eat. I'm starving!"
Blaine wondered how Sebastian could be so relaxed about the whole thing as he led him to his rental car.
Dinner was an awkward affair. If Sebastian was bothered, he certainly didn't show it. They ended up getting patio seating at Mon Ami Gabi, which gave them a great view of the Bellagio water fountain.
"I think that's pretty clever."
"What is?"
"This restaurant is probably making extra bucks by having the prime view of the water show." Sebastian took a bite of his chicken as he watched the show. "I think I'm gonna stay here the next time I come visit you."
Blaine's heart skipped a beat at the mention of "next time."
The rest of the dinner went by uneventfully, and Blaine was grateful for it. However, Blaine found himself feeling nervous again when they headed back to his service apartment.
"So … um …" This was awkward. Blaine and Sebastian were sitting side by side on the king size bed, doing nothing. "Do you want a glass of water?"
"No, I'm fine." Sebastian looked a bit amused. Blaine really wanted to wipe that look off his face.
"I'll turn down the heater." Blaine scrambled off the bed to adjust the thermostat.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you're chickening out." Blaine heard Sebastian say behind him.
"I'm not chickening out." To prove his point, Blaine got back onto the bed and sat next to Sebastian again. "See?"
"Yeah, that proves a lot." Sebastian nodded. "By sitting next to me."
Blaine looked at Sebastian defiantly before pulling off his sweater. "There, happy? I don't see you doing anything."
"Fair enough." Sebastian pulled off his turtleneck as well.
Blaine swallowed hard at the sight before him. Sebastian looked ireally/i good. Suddenly Blaine wished that he had dimmed the lights a bit. The thought of having someone see him completely naked under bright light was a bit terrifying.
"I think you need to kiss me." That was the only thing Blaine could think of as he laid down on the bed.
Blaine saw Sebastian leaning closer and he closed his eyes instinctively. Sebastian's lips were soft, and the kiss was gentle, teasing, and Blaine could feel a slight bit of uncertainty behind it. Sebastian brushed his lips lightly against Blaine's before pressing a little harder, nibbling a little at Blaine' slower lip before going back to kissing Blaine lightly.
Blaine had decided that Sebastian was a very good kisser, because whatever Sebastian was doing, the kiss seemed to have a calming effect on Blaine. Blaine put his arms around Sebastian's shoulders and kissed back. He almost pulled away in surprise when he felt Sebastian working on pulling off his jeans.
Come on, Blaine. Relax, relax.
But it was a bit hard. Blaine felt self-conscious, and he was pretty sure Sebastian must have felt that way to some degree as well. He noticed how Sebastian's hands trembled a little when he was taking off his own clothes as well.
"You have really beautiful skin, you know that?" Sebastian ran his hand down Blaine's chest. Blaine could feel his embarrassment coming back.
"Can you not liveblog my skin?"
"Liveblog?" Sebastian laughed. "I'm not aware we're blogging anything, unless you wanna?"
"No, I mean … just … don't comment."
"Why? You look really good."
"Ok, not helping."
"But you're hard." Sebastian was still pointing out the obvious. "So, have we decided if we're gonna do blowjob or handjobs?"
"Ohmygod, stop!" Blaine was pretty sure that at this rate, he might really have a stroke from all the blood that was rushing to his head and his groin. He was also beginning to notice just how unnaturally fast his heart was beating, how his breathing had sped up.
"You want me to stop?" Blaine was a bit surprised to see that Sebastian actually looked confused.
"I mean, stop describing things." Blaine pulled Sebastian onto him. "Less talking, more doing."
"You're bossy." Sebastian climbed off of him. "Need to get … supplies."
Blaine sighed.
"Stop sighing," Sebastian must had heard him. Blaine felt the mattress dip as Sebastian got onto the bed again. "Ok, so what're we doing? We never talked about the specifics."
Blaine was starting to wonder if it was normal to ask so many questions during sex. While others might argue what constitute gay sex and losing v-card, in Blaine's opinion, that only meant one thing.
"I think we should skip the other stuff and just go for the homerun." Blaine replied lamely.
"Did you just say 'homerun'?" Blaine could tell that Sebastian was trying not to laugh. "You're … really adorable."
Adorable was not what Blaine wanted to hear in that moment. He saw Sebastian squeezing an abundance of lube onto his fingers.
"I … uh …" Sebastian stopped, as if remembering that Blaine didn't want descriptions.
"Yeah." Blaine spread his legs and took a deep breath, then he closed his eyes. He just knew that if he kept his eyes opened, he would be too embarrassed. "Ow …"
"Sorry," Sebastian tried to explain. "It's different when you're doing it to someone else."
Okay, too much information. Blaine thought to himself. Don't need to know that, nope.
One finger turned into two, then three, and then four.
"Wait!" Blaine had to put a stop this because at the rate it was going, he might end up getting fisted; and that was something that he didn't want to try yet.
"I just want to make sure …" Sebastian actually looked a little uncertain. "You're ok with this?"
"Yeah," Blaine hoped that this whole sex thing better turned out to be as good as people said it was going to be, because all these embarrassment had better be worth it. "I think, you should … You know."
"Right." Sebastian cursed under his breath as he accidentally ripped the first condom. It took him two more tries before he was able to take one out unscathed and rolled it onto himself. By that point, Blaine's feeling of anticipation had turned into anxiety.
Blaine really hoped that it wouldn't hurt as much as he feared it would.
"You ready?" Blaine detected an edge to Sebastian's words, and in some ways it made him feel better to know that he wasn't the only one who was nervous about this.
"Go."
Blaine willed himself to relax as he felt Sebastian pushing in through the ring of muscle. At that point, he was actually glad that Sebastian had used four fingers, because it still hurt. Blaine felt Sebastian pausing above him.
"I … need a moment," Sebastian choked out. "Too tight."
Blaine wasn't about to complain, because he needed a moment to adjust too. A few moments passed and he felt Sebastian pressing in slowly. It seemed to take an excruciatingly long time for Sebastian to be buried all the way to the hilt. Amidst Blaine's nervousness, he hadn't even ventured a look at Sebastian naked body, let alone his "equipment".
Blaine took several deep breaths and put his arms around Sebastian's shoulders. He felt Sebastian pulling back and pushing in gently in a slow and slight motion, as though testing the waters.
Blaine was starting to get used to the stretch, but there really wasn't anything particularly thrilling about what they were doing so far. Blaine told himself that if this didn't start feeling good soon, he was probably going to swear off anal sex forever.
"Are you okay?" Blaine opened his eyes, Sebastian looked unusually concerned.
"Yeah, why?"
"You're hyperventilating."
"I'm not hyper…ventilating." Actually, he was. Blaine realized with some alarm as well, because in addition to his rapid breathing, he also couldn't feel his hands and feet. It was as though his entire body had cramped up and it seemed to be getting worse because now his face was starting to feel numb.
What the hell? Ohmygod, am I having a stroke?
The thought of dying from a stroke during sex really wasn't appealing. He felt Sebastian pulling out of him. It must be bad if Blaine couldn't even feel the stretch anymore. Blaine remained prone on the bed as he saw Sebastian kneading his feet and legs in an attempt to rub out the cramp.
Slowly, Blaine could feel the tension leaving his body.
"Are you ok?" Sebastian's hands were still massaging.
"Yeah, I think." Blaine's face didn't feel numb anymore and he could feel his hands and feet again. "Uhm, sorry."
"Why?"
"We didn't get to … you know."
"Oh, well I'm not hard anymore, if that's what you're saying."
Blaine really wished Sebastian would filter his words sometimes.
"Sorry."
"Don't be. It was good while it lasted. " Sebastian shrugged. " I think you're expecting too much from it. This isn't an exam, you know?"
"Uh-huh."
"Well if it's any consolation, neither of us are technically virgins anymore." Sebastian grinned. "It still counted even if we didn't finish."
"True." It wasn't what Blaine expected though. It wasn't that Blaine was expecting something romantic, but he was expecting some kind of normalcy to come out of this. It was a bit anti-climactic, the way this had turned out.
"Blaine?"
"Hm?" Blaine figured Sebastian was probably going to give him a pep talk again.
"I was thinking," Sebastian lowered his gaze to his hands, where they were still massaging Blaine's feet. "You wanna try this dating thing?"
Blaine couldn't believe his ears.
"Are you asking me out?"
"Yeah. I mean, if you don't mind?"
"No. I mean yes." Blaine wanted to smack himself for not being articulate at this important moment. "I mean I don't mind, and yes to the dating. I mean, absolutely."
"Great!" Sebastian grinned and leaned over to give Blaine a quick peck on the cheek. "And I think we can spend this weekend giving this sex thing another go."
"Is that all you think about?" Not that Blaine was going to complain.
"I'm a healthy, young man. I have a really hot boyfriend whom I just had sex with." Sebastian had a cheeky smile on his face. "Yeah, that's what I think and I'm not sorry about it one bit."
Blaine simply smiled back in return. In spite of what some would call a failed first time, the outcome wasn't too bad at all.
So no, Blaine wasn't sorry about it either.
(END)
ADDENDUM: So yes, I've decided there isn't enough fics about innocent!Sebastian out there so this is one of my addition to the pile. I hope you enjoyed it. Please come by my Tumblr and say hello! It's "rykerstrom . tumblr . com".