A/N: I should be doing college applications/essays...but what the hell!
Disclaimer: I own nothing : (
He wasn't sure when the last time he had a job interview was, but he was pretty sure it wasn't as classy as this one. Irony was good to him on days like these.
Coffee stained carpeting, cracked walls, crocked paintings, and cheap elevator music were all things checked not off on Neji Hyuuga's list of "Unfunctional Working Conditions", and upon meeting his boss , he felt great regret that his list never included the item: "boss with ADHD who wears an orange jumpsuit."
Oddly enough, when his cousin told him about the job opening at Konoha Corporations, she clearly mentioned how admirable and inspiring the regional manager was. This was what propelled him to hold his tongue and give the corporation a call regarding the job.
A lovely woman answered on the other end gave him a petite phone interview. He was careful to note that she had the theme song of mortal combat faintly playing in the background throughout the whole questionnaire. In his mind he considered that was kind of epic. Also in the back of his mind, he kept a mental note that he definitely wouldn't mind having phone sex with her.
Thus, the process of attaining the job began on the high end with a lovely pixie voice, but not all things last in the honeymoon phase. The next step was not as easy. It was stricter and stranger: a face to face interview with three men who called themselves "the search committee."
Walking into the interview, Neji noticed the first interviewer sleeping against the clouds, the second painting a portrait in an imaginary space, and the third wearing sunglasses in a poorly lit room…it may sound like the beginning of a racist or offensive joke, but…uhh…yeah, he didn't know how his brain had possibly justified the situation.
He should have politely said no to the job. After all, He was next in line for the family business.
He never saw himself as a sellout, but it wasn't like he was agreeing to be on some trashy reality TV show when he said yes to a six figure pay check.
So, he could really only blame himself for having an orange blob as his boss. The blob was completely incompetent and totally ignored everything righteous about a working corporation.
He knew that this was fact because within the first ten minutes of being hired, he really wanted to break batman action figures his boss was using to narrate the birth of Jesus.
Neji was never really good at introductions. It was a problem, and Naruto just added salt, vodka, and rice to the problem (quite literally).
"Corporate! Please, everyone. Please gather around and welcome your new coworker Neji Hyuuga."
"Naruto, I understand that it is your job to introduce me to the office, but I assure you that it is unnecessary to introduce me in such a manner. "
"What? No? Dude! Don't be an ass about the whole introduction thing!"
It was too late to try to stop the entire company from gathering around them anyway. However, as they formed a gladiator circle around the two men, no one said a word- as if; they were expecting something to occur.
Needless to say, it was weird to have multiple sets of eyes stare at you.
"Come on, Neji! Go ahead and introduce yourself!"
"I'm Neji." He was done with his "introduction" and about to walk away from the whole ordeal. Alas, that was not what Naruto had planned.
"Good! Now, let us begin the process of induction!"
"No."
There could not be anything good that stemmed from the mind of Naruto. It is politically, socially, and economically correct to refuse anything and everything that came out of his mouth.
Laughter emerged from the orange blob.
"Funny, that's exactly what Shikamaru, Sai, and Shino said to me when they were inducted!"
Neji looked over at the men glaring at Naruto and remembered their faces as the members of "the search committee."
Neji followed their example and glared as well.
"Now, let us continue with the induction! First we shall pour salt behind your left shoulder for luck. Then, we'll drink a shot of vodka," His voice faded as he whispered personally to Neji "For hell of drinking because…you know, I need an excuse to drink at work," and then it reverted quickly back to its regular obnoxious level, "Finally, we'll throw some rice in celebration of life, liberty, and property!"
…It was way too early to regret leaving your old job.
After the whole entire ordeal of "induction", Naruto did introduce Neji in a more serious manner.
In which, Naruto explained Nejis' life in record time.
"So as you all know, Kurenai is on maternity leave since she's pregnant with child. So, I hired Neji to fill in for her!"
"I expect you all to treat him with respect. From this moment forward he will be head of sales. Some fun facts for all of you: He's a Harvard Law graduate who was part of the Eta Psi fraternity. He owns a silver BMW. He's also our sectary Hinata's cousin."
For a moment, Neji stared blankly.
"I'm here as the legal consultant and lawyer of the corporation. I'm a Yale law graduate and I was never part of a fraternity. I drive a black Mercedes."
"Yeah…but you're still Hinata's cousin right?"
Honest to God, faceplaming never hurt so bad before.
It was perhaps the longest day of his life. Maybe it was all a very cruel joke, yet it didn't seem likely. Work would certainly not be enjoyable from what he could tell, but hell, he didn't know left from right at this point.
He was currently organizing his new cubicle and going over his mental list of all things he hated about his new job.
He started with the small things. His cubical was disgusting shade of murky green, the corporate cafeteria only served ramen, and there was a bothersome sound that came from the neighboring cubicle.
He tried to think of more things, but the music continuously seeped into his ear.
Annoyed, he stood and gathered himself to ask politely for his neighbor to silence the damn the noise.
But he stopped.
He was fixated as he gazed at the back of the head of the brunette woman playing the familiar sound in front of him.
So maybe, this job wouldn't be that bad.
A/N: I've been watching The Office/ Jake and Amir/ Hardly Working wayyy too much lately x]. Soo, I got the brilliant idea of fusing Naruto and The office. I mean, seriously, how great of a Michael Scott would Naruto be?
The conversations Naruto and Neji have are made up, but largely inspired by the dialogue from The Office.
Yes, the story will be Neji centric (him as the "new" employee) and each chapter will mainly be about his relationship with other characters in the corporation (so yeah, many more of the Konoha 12 and beyond will make appearances!)
There will be some instances where Neji will be put into homosexual situations (for the sake of comedy and the enrichment of the story), but he will remain a heterosexual character.
Either way, I really really really REALLY hope that everyone enjoyed reading this. (this is probably my favorite story that I've written to date). I personally love the Naruto/Neji friendship/ boss & coworker relationship.
My only concern is that I may have made the characters a little OOC and the concept too random.
Critical feedback please! : )