Empty day, a glee fanfic

Empty day

"You can drop me here, I'll walk." Finn told Puck. The Mohawked boy nodded and pulled over on the side of the street.

"Wait, what ?" Kurt asked from the back seat. "Where are you going ?"

"To Rachel's, I'm sorry man, she needs me." Finn replied, unbuckling his seat belt.

"You're leaving me alone with Puckerman ?" Kurt asked aghast.

"Don't worry bro, he'll take care of you." Finn replied hopping out of the car. Kurt looked at his brother as he left him alone. Kurt had just broken up with Blaine because the other boy had cheated on him, and tonight was supposed to be about cheering Kurt up, it was Finn's idea. Kurt had no idea why Puck was even here in the first place but he was glad the two boys wanted to help him go through this. Kurt had never been so angry in his life, Blaine had been the one person he really thought he could count on, he could trust no matter what. He had even given himself to Blaine, thinking they would be together for really long. Kurt had loved Blaine in a way he could never love anyone else, and Blaine had known that since the very beginning, that's what made his betrayal even more bitter.

"You okay dude ?" Puck asked as they were going Kurt had no idea where.

"Yes, why would I not be okay ? Because my boyfriend cheated on me or because my brother is missing the night he organized himself to cheer me up ?" Kurt asked sarcastically.

"I'm sorry for the shit happening to you. You're gonna forget about it tonight, I promise !" Puck said in a jovial tone. But Kurt didn't feel like being happy right now.

"Why are you even here ?" He asked nastily. Puck looked offended but turned his face to the window before Kurt could be quite sure of it.

"Dude, come on, I'm here to help you don't bitch at me !" Puck said. "I'm the only one here so you'd better get used to me for the night."

"Why did Finn ask you to be here tonight ? It's not like you're my friend." Kurt said, it was not be mean this time, just to understand.

" Because he knows that I'm the best at making people happy." Puck answered.

"And where are you taking me to make me happy ?" Kurt asked, not recognizing the part of town where they were. "Because this is definitely not the bowling."

"As if going bowling would make you happier !" Puck said. "Finn's nice but a bit of a child, I'm talking about real cheering up and it starts with forgetting. Here we are." He exclaimed when they were stopped in front of a bar.

"We can't get in there." Kurt stated.

"Sure we can Princess." Puck retorted, waving the bouncer hi, Kurt had no time to say something about the stupid nickname he had just been given.

"Hi Noah. A friend of yours ?" The impressive man asked, looking at Kurt.

"Yep, he needs a little cheer up time." Puck answered, Kurt liked to be considered as a friend by Puck's.

"So here's the perfect place. Have fun boys." The man said, letting them in. Kurt didn't believe it, he had always looked younger than his age and he was allowed in a bar without any problem.

"Alright, how did you do that ?" He asked Puck as the boy was making his way towards a table at the back of the dark room.

"Bill was a friend of my dad's before he left, he's a good friend of mine now." Puck explained, sitting at a table where two guys were already drinking beers.

"Puckerman, it's been a while ! Who are you bringing with you ?" One of the two guys asked, looking at Kurt.

"Hi guys, this is Hummel, Hummel this is Marcus." Puck introduced them.

"You have no manners Noah, it's woeful. This is Daniel, and you are ?" Marcus asked Kurt.

"Kurt." The boy answered feeling uncomfortable. "I'm... going to get some beers." He added, it was the only excuse he had found to escape Puck's friends. He hated being introduced to people he didn't know, especially Puck's friends, they certainly were homophobic men and right now, Kurt was sure they were laughing at him. He hated Finn for leaving him alone with Puck, alright he was not the most reliable person on earth but letting him down on the way to the bowling, that was a low blow.

"So who's that ?" Marcus asked Puck as soon as Kurt had gone to the bar.

"A friend." Puck answered keeping an eye on Kurt in case someone messed with him.

"A freakin' hot friend of yours." Marcus added. "The kind of friend you use for one night ?"

"No, it's not like that. Kurt doesn't even know I'm gay. He just needs to drink and forget for the night." Puck retorted.

"Alcohol and action in his pants." Daniel said quirking his eyebrows.

"Guys stop it, he's a good friend of mine, I don't want you to screw up everything." Puck said, already regretting taking Kurt here. "And you're not trying anything with him either." He added glaring at the two men.

"Don't try to pretend this boy is not your type, all the guys you brought here before looked like him and you fucked them all." Marcus said smirking.

"I'm not gonna fuck Kurt !" Puck defended, irritated.

"Oh no you're not, someone already called dibs on him." Daniel said pointing at Kurt. Puck turned and saw Kurt at the counter talking to some guy who looked slightly like Blaine. Kurt was smiling as he was talking to the man who was now softly brushing his hand.

"Alright, we'll believe you when you say you don't wanna fuck your so fuckable friend if you leave him alone all the while he's with this guy." Marcus challenged Puck who swallowed hard.

Truth was, he would love to get into Kurt's pants. It had been a while since he had first been attracted to the boy, he was the one to make him realize he was gay. But he had never asked him out because there was something final and painful in Kurt rejecting him and he did not want to face it. He had patiently gone through the period when Kurt was dating Blaine, trying not to show the jealousy he felt towards the hobbit. Puck had immediately known the morning Kurt had lost his virginity, he knew his attitudes and the way he used to be and it had all changed that day. That day, Puck had felt like blowing up the Shire and all the hobbits living in here. It was unfair that this guy who had never done anything for Kurt had had sex with him so soon after starting dating him. Finn had guessed by the way Puck was looking at the two boys, how he felt towards his brother and his reaction had not been the bad one Puck had expected. That's why he had made up that excuse with Rachel, for the two boys to be alone together so they could get closer. But Puck didn't want to make a move on Kurt just that night, it was too soon after breaking up with Blaine. Even if he had been waiting for years for something to happen between him and Kurt, he would be able to wait a little more.

"Okay." Puck agreed reluctantly. He glanced in Kurt's direction and had to contain his urge to punch the guy in front of him. He was now stroking softly Kurt's skin on his arm like he owned him. "I'm gonna grab the beers." He stated, standing up. The time he walked to the counter, the man was whispering something in Kurt's ear. "Kurt, everything's okay ?" He asked casually. Kurt hadn't even noticed he was here, next to him.

"What ?" He asked, not trying to hide his annoyance in his tone.

"Is everything okay for you ?" Puck asked again.

"Yes I'm okay Puckerman. And busy as well." He replied.

"You should come and sit down with us at the table." He offered.

"I don't know your friends so, no thanks." Kurt retorted. The man had not removed his hand from Kurt's arm and Puck didn't like it at all.

"Come on, I'm supposed to cheer you up, I can't do anything if you stay here." Puck tried again

"I can handle myself Noah, don't worry about me." Kurt replied, turning back to his stranger. Puck had to give up and ordered the drinks he wanted before joining the others again.

"Who are these seven shots for ?" Marcus asked.

"These two are for you, the five others are mine." Puck said, taking hold of the first one and drinking it in one sip. He pulled a face as his throat burned but liked the feeling of the alcohol in his body.

"So, are they going to sit with us ?" Marcus asked, waving his head to indicate Kurt and his stalker.

"I don't think so." Puck replied, his look darkening.

"Dude, you look so pissed, you really want to get into his pants don't you ?"

"Leave me alone Marcus." Puck replied, drinking his second shot.

"Come on ! Tell us about him, who's he ?" Daniel asked.

"You're not helping guys." Puck said, he had been really happy to have an occasion of spending the night with Kurt, had really thought that they would get closer. And now, everything was ruined because of the hobbit's doppelganger. "I've known him forever, okay ? And I've kinda had a crush on him for years, I realized I was gay because of him." He admitted after his third shot.

"That's why all the boys you bring here look somehow like him ?" Marcus asked.

"I don't think I'll ever be his type so I manage as I can." Puck replied, quite drunk

"That's shit dude." Daniel stated.

"Whatever, his stalker will soon be gone." Puck said, hopeful.

"Turn around." Daniel told him. Puck turned, expecting to find an alone Kurt at the bar. But instead, he found no one, Kurt was gone as well as the hobbit who was flirting with him.

"Shit ! Have you seen them go ?" He asked Daniel who shook his head.

"No but you'd better find them, there are four glasses where he was sitting." Daniel said, looking sorry.

"Fuck !" Puck shouted standing up. He stumbled and almost fell but took hold of the table to stay on his feet. He walked out of the bar the quickest he could, he really hoped he would see them in the streets and be able to stop Kurt from going somewhere with this unknown guy. But the night had already fallen and there was no one in the street. He walked around, picking a random direction and trying to find them in the dark.

"Kuurt !" He shouted, he didn't care if he sounded crazy, it was Kurt he was looking for and the boy had disappeared. He listened if there was an answer but, except for the noises of the cars in the streets, there was no voice. "Kurt, answer me, where the fuck are you ?" Puck shouted again.

Finn was going to kill him. It was weird how things were going on in his head. Kurt had disappeared and was maybe in danger, Puck had feelings for him, but all he could think of was that Finn was going to kill him. He stood in the streets, looking around, feeling lost, for a while. He didn't know what to do. If he left it was unlikely that he'd find the right direction, and there was the risk for Kurt to come back while he was gone. Or he stayed here while Kurt was maybe getting mugged or something by some stranger. To add to the confusion he was feeling, his head was spinning like never. He shouldn't have drunk so much, clearly. "Kurt, you fuckin' come back here now !" He shouted desperately. Time was going weirdly as well, he felt like he had been here, lost for an hour while it had only been twenty minutes, yet, he was not pleased any less when he heard his voice.

"Why the hell are you shouting like that ?" Kurt asked from behind him. Puck turned around and found Kurt standing behind him, looking upset. His hair was a mess but Puck didn't care, he even looked prettier with his hair like this.

"You're here ! Where the fuck have you been ?" Puck asked, taking the boy in his arms without thinking. But Kurt shoved him away strongly.

"You don't touch me !" He shouted at Puck.

"Are you okay ?" Puck asked, concern filling his mind again.

"Let's go." Kurt retorted.

"Did he hurt you ?"

"He didn't do anything I didn't want him to do, let's go now." Kurt retorted sharply, already walking to Puck's car. Puck could see that he was still drunk since he walked in a weird way, but he was not going to laugh at him because he was sure he didn't walk straight himself. He walked silently behind the drunk boy, not daring to ask questions since he didn't want to be snapped at once more.

Puck drove Kurt back home, conscious that he should not because he was totally drunk, but he didn't want to give Kurt another reason to hate him. Three times during the ride, he saw Kurt drifting into sleep from the corner of his eyes, his head falling, startling him and waking up. He looked exhausted and Puck felt bad for taking him in a bar when they had planned to go bowling. At least, it seemed like Kurt was not dating his other hobbit-like guy, that was the bright side of things. When they reached Kurt's house, the boy didn't say anything, he simply opened the door and went home with his drunken walk. Puck watched him until he had disappeared inside his house, and even after to make sure he didn't leave again. After that he went back home, thinking about this whole fiasco he had made of a night that could have been really great.

The next day, Puck woke up to a throbbing headache, alone in his room. It felt weird since, usually, when he woke up in the middle of a hangover he had had sex with someone the night before. But, yes, of course, he had spent the night with Kurt, there was no way something could have happened between them, it would have just been too perfect. Kurt didn't like him, period.

His head full of positive thoughts, Puck crawled out of bed and dressed with the first rags he found, this day would be shit anyway. He grabbed his bag and didn't even consider eating something before stepping out. Puck hopped in his beat up truck and threw his bag on the passenger seat.

Something on the seat caught his eyes and he turned his head again to examine it. It was a stain, a dark stain on the material of his seat. It took Puck time to realize what this meant. It was not just a stain, it was blood. Blood where Kurt had sat the night before when Puck had taken him home. Blood. This could mean only one thing and Puck was completely terrified at the thought of it. He watched the stain several seconds, his mind blank, then he shook his head, started the ignition and left. Going to school was not in his plan anymore, it had vanished at the same time the stain had appeared. He drove to the Hudmel household, hoping he'd get there before Kurt left, if he ever intended to attend school after that. Puck parked his car in the alley and walked to the door, forcing himself to knock at the door, even though he wanted to run inside to check on Kurt.

"Hey dude, what's up ?" Finn greeted him.

"Is Kurt here ?" Puck asked.

"Yeah, he's sick, he's not going to school today, you took him to that bar didn't you ?" Finn asked, smiling, oblivious to everything.

"Yeah." Puck replied, entering the house and going straight to Kurt's room. He opened the door and went down the stairs to find Kurt curled up in his bed, almost invisible under the covers. Puck shivered at imagining what he had been through, he walked to the bed and sat on the edge of it.

"Are you okay ?" He asked softly.

"What are you doing here ?" Kurt asked, not looking at him.

"I know." Puck simply said. Kurt started shivering when he heard that.

"You don't." He replied, his voice quivering.

"You should've told me, Kurt. I'd have killed that guy." Puck said, feeling tears invading his eyes at the mere idea of what had happened.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kurt retorted, still in denial.

"There's a blood stain on my passenger seat Kurt." Puck said to prove his statement.

"I'll... I'll clean it up." Kurt said, an almost inaudible sob escaping his lips at the end of the sentence.

"I don't want you to clean it up, I want you to admit it happened and let me help you through that. I would have guessed something had happened if I hadn't been that drunk, I'm sorry Kurt."

"I... It hurts." Kurt finally admitted, releasing the tears he had kept hidden all night long.

"I can check if you're hurt. If you want me to, of course." Puck offered. Kurt hesitated but nodded. "Can you walk to the bathroom ?" Puck asked. Kurt burst into tears, Puck could hear that he was trying to regain control of himself.

"I can't move."

"Okay, I'll do it here, then." Puck stated, standing up. He went into the bathroom, hearing Kurt's muffled sobs behind him, he wanted to take him in his arms, to hug his pain away. He grabbed a towel, poured hot water on it and went back in Kurt's room to clean him up.

"I need to take your pants and briefs off." He said hesitantly. Kurt stiffened immediately but then nodded slightly, his hands squeezing the bed sheets tightly. Puck slowly, removed the comforter and started to work on unbuttoning Kurt's pants. He had been dreaming of doing it for so long, picturing it was Kurt when it was someone else. And now he was doing it, it was under terrible circumstances. "I'm sorry Kurt." Puck said again, pulling the tight pants off as well as the briefs. "I should never have taken you to this bar." The Mohawked boy had now to clean up Kurt. "I'm gonna clean you up, are you ready ?" He asked. Kurt nodded and Puck started his work.

"Why are you doing that, Noah ?" Kurt asked. Puck felt butterflies in his stomach at being called Noah by the boy he liked, and felt bad at being able of feeling butterflies when Kurt was hurting.

"I couldn't let you down." Puck half lied. "He didn't prepare you at all, did he ?" Puck asked seeing the way Kurt was hurt. "Did he at least use a condom ?" At that statement, Kurt shivered and folded on himself again, in fetal position.

"I don't... I didn't even think about that. I'm so stupid." Kurt burst out, tears streaming down his face to fall on the red pillow. Puck stopped his work and wrapped his arms around the crying boy to soothe him down.

"Calm down, all we have to do is to take you to the clinic to run the tests soon." Puck explained. He found himself spooning Kurt and the boy relaxed under his touch. Puck's face was buried in the crook of Kurt's neck and the scent was wonderful. He couldn't stop himself from nuzzling and kissing softly the skin he was offered, to taste a bit of Kurt.

"Are you gay, Noah ?" Kurt asked, not moving in the slightest. Puck realized that Kurt didn't seem to be rejecting him.

"About time you notice." He replied, not stopping kissing softly Kurt's neck.

"What does it mean ?"

"It's been like five years since I first realized you were the hottest person I know." Puck answered honestly, if he was to be rejected, he would have been honest at least. But instead of a rejection he felt Kurt sob against his chest.

"How can you play with me right now ?" Kurt asked, sounding wretched. Puck started rubbing Kurt's chest softly.

"I could never play with you, even less right now."

"You... you really want to be my boyfriend ?" Kurt asked hesitantly.

"The fuck I do !" Puck said.

"But I'm dirty and hurt and a whore, how can you possibly want me ? How can you possibly stay near me ?"

"Being near you is, like, the thing I like the most. And you're not dirty, absolutely not a whore, and I want to help you healing, if that's okay with you." He offered.

"Why did you never tell me ?" Kurt asked.

"I've liked you for so long... We were in seventh grade when I started seeing you as a dating possibility, but you hadn't come out at that time and I thought that, maybe you weren't gay. I didn't want to come out to you so you could laugh at me and reject me, so I kept it for myself." Puck explained.

"And when I came out ?" Kurt asked.

"When you came out I was, like in heaven, but I had been hiding it for so long that I was certain you'd reject me, I was scared."

"But your sex shark reputation and everything... Are you bi ?"

"I'm totally gay. My rep came because I … Once, I went to the bar we were at last night and there was this guy who was hitting on me, I was kinda desperate that night because you had insulted me the morning before, not that I didn't deserve it. So there was this guy who looked slightly like you and he was interested in me so I fucked him with all the anger I had bottled up for years. The next day at school I bragged about the amazing sex I had had the night before, I didn't say who it was and everybody assumed it was a girl so I just didn't deny it. Then I went in that bar more often with the prospect of having one night stands with dudes I didn't know, that's how I got that reputation, I never said I banged chicks but that's what people assumed." Puck explained.

"So you never had a … a boyfriend or a girlfriend or someone to love ?" Kurt asked, shifting uncomfortably under Puck's hold.

"Nope. There were chicks at school who fancied me but I wasn't at all interested. There were some dudes as well, mostly guys I met at the bar, they assumed that having sex meant that we were in a relationship but I told them that it did not. I mean, yeah they made me feel good for like ten minutes but I always felt worse after that because it was kind of insane to have sex with guys who looked like you just to be able to feel something else than loneliness."

"So, what about when I was with Blaine ? You looked quite happy for me." Kurt asked. Puck thought about it for a while, dropping a soft kiss on the crook of Kurt's neck, enjoying the moment as much as he could. He didn't know why was Kurt asking all these questions in the situation he was in, but guessed it was to take his mind off what had happened the night before, to stop reliving the scene in his head by talking to someone.

"When you were with him I was pissed and frustrated and I felt like shit. I just didn't show it because, well, the guy had dared to ask you out, when I had been scared of doing so for so many years. I thought that you deserved someone who assumed himself since I wasn't able to do so. Then there was this day when you came to school walking differently. I was used to watching you and I knew how you acted, you had always been walking, trying to look confident but twitching every now and then when someone touched you. I knew all of that, and that day you were walking the same but when someone touched you didn't flinch you just challenged them with your eyes to dare doing something to you. It was like you knew you meant something, for real, you had self confidence and all that could be brought only by the knowledge of being desired and acting on that desire. When I saw that I was even more pissed, that's when I started hating Klaine."

"Blaine." Kurt corrected.

"Whatever. The thing was, I had been into you for five years, fantasizing every night of being with you and taking your virginity, I thought it was something that could happen if I finally found the guts to ask you out. And this dude, he had known you for four months and had already stolen your virginity. At that period I went to the bar every night, fucking every single dude who wanted some, I didn't even look at them, didn't know if I had already had sex with them, all I knew was that I could never have what I had been craving for for years, your innocence."

"So yesterday night, when you took me to that bar you expected to have sex with me ?" Kurt asked. Puck could hear the reproach in his voice and hugged him tighter.

"I didn't. I knew it was not the right time and anyway, I don't think I'd have found the guts to ask you out." Puck answered. Kurt let out a sob, Puck felt more than heard it.

"I feel so terrible Puck. It's like I want to die." Kurt cried.

"You don't." Puck replied. "You can't want to die, not when so many people love you. I know it may sound selfish, what you went through was terrifying and traumatizing but we'll help you through this, all of us the people who love you." Puck said, his body tightly pressed against Kurt's, warming up the slender shivering frame. Kurt took hold of Puck's hand and lifted it to his chest like it was the comforter.

"I don't know if I can get over what he did to me, maybe it will get worse as time goes by." Kurt stated, still holding Puck's hand. Puck didn't know what to say, he had no idea if things would get worse, maybe they would, he could not tell the contrary.

"But now you know there's someone who's always loved you and who could never hurt you without hating himself. I know you don't want me but at least you know I'm here if you need me and when you'll feel dirty or stained, you'll know there will always be someone to want you and who will always think you're beautiful." Puck said honestly. It was like all the things he had always wanted to lash out were streaming out of his mouth, setting free after years of silence.

"It's sad Puck, I'm sorry." Kurt said before letting out a huge yawn. Puck noticed that Kurt had not denied what he had said, that Kurt didn't want him, his heart constricted when he realized that he was facing the rejection he had done everything to avoid.

"Sleep." Puck told him simply, removing his arms from around Kurt but the smaller boy didn't let go of his hand.

"Stay. Please." Kurt said. " I feel safe when you're here." Puck smiled slightly although Kurt could not see him and laid back against him. "Can you sing me something ?" Kurt asked shyly.

"It would be an honor." Puck answered. He didn't have to search for long before he found the song he was going to sing. He didn't want a song that concerned what had happened, didn't want a song about help or fixing him or something, it would only remind Kurt of what had happened. He wanted Kurt to picture sweet images to fall asleep at peace.