Mrs Squigella Bennett, a plump woman, and now of a plump pocket, sat behind an ornate desk. She was currently hiring. Twenty-three servants plus a butler to be precise.
Which led to why Ned was currently sitting across from her, watching her scrutinize his CV through glasses which was studded with several diamonds. Ned did not doubt they were genuine.
"So tell me, Mr. Edward Darcy, why is it you seek employment at this household, and more specifically, as our Butler. I mean, look at this-" Mrs. Bennett peered at his resume "-Graduated from Cambridge with a starred first in Land Economy and achieved 'Outstanding' at the Butler-Valet school."
"It was the hat." Ned replied seriously "Granted, Pemberly was not my first choice for seeking employment-" Mrs. Bennett gave a screamlet of affrontedness. He quickly realized perhaps that was the wrong thing to say. He added "My first choice was as a Porter, for Trinity, Cambridge because they had such distinguished bowler hats."
Mrs. Bennett still looked suspiciously at him. "All for a hat? And I assume you did not get the job in the end?"
Ned nodded miserably, though to Mrs. Bennett, it only appeared as miniscule adjustments to the incline angle between his neck and head
"Yes maam, they said that I was too young, and something of in danger from young female undergraduates."
"What! You mean you're a pedophile?" Mrs. Bennett screamlet-ed, and dropped off her Queen's English accent.
"No, no maam…The head porter thought my looks would cause a massive influx of impressionable young ladies into the porter's lodge, to the detriment of both the undergraduate body and the porters themselves."
"Oh. That's perfectly fine then. As a fellow sufferer of the same malady, I sympathize your plight too. Well, let no one say that I'm not an equal-rights employer." Mrs. Bennett smiled slightly and pointed her index finger at Ned. "You're hired."
Ned felt relieved, he was afraid that he might have bungled up another interview. He got up from his chair and solemnly bowed.
"Thank you, Maam. I will not let you down."
Mrs. Bennett nodded. "Oh yes, and also, we shall call you Darcy, are you fine with that?"
Ned nodded, he was expecting that. Butlers never get known by their first names. He heard Mrs. Bennett murmur "how apt…"
"Is there anything else you would like to inquire, Maam?"
"Oh yes. I wish to know what about the Pemberly hat that catches your fancy."
Gravely, Ned responded "The tricorne Maam. Unless you wish to reenact Pirates of the Carribean, you never get a legitimate excuse to wear one nowadays."
"Good answer." Mrs Bennett seemed fine with the reply "You may go now. Duty commences next Monday."
Ned practiced the silent-slipaway butler technique, and quietly, Mrs. Bennett was left in her room.