Ménage à trois

by Lar-lar

French Household of three.‘A relationship in which three people, such as a married couple and a lover of any sex, live together and have sexual relations.’ Craig/Tweek/Clyde slash.

Ménage à trois by Lar-lar

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or any of its characters.

Authors note: This was written for Foodstamps's writing contest on dA – I left it to the last minute thanks to an INCREDIBLY busy month, so I know it's not my best work and I even ended up reverting to a shorter version to make the deadline! So yes, there MAY be a longer version of this being posted at some point... Either way, I hope it's not completely terrible or anything... Basically? If you guys like it? I'll be happy!

xox

Ménage à trois;

(French) Household of three.

'A relationship in which three people, such as a married couple and a lover of any sex, live together and have sexual relations.'

-Dictionary definition.

xox

A splash of blonde.

A helping of brown.

A measure of ebony.

A recipe for happiness.

Or so they had come to believe...

xox

Craig's POV;

'Who gets to decide what's normal, anyway? Who is it that gets to make all the rules? The people livin' the lives, I always thought, and we're all livin' it together so I didn't care about anything else.'

It wasn't something I'd planned, although I'd be lying if I said the idea never crossed my mind... But still, I was happy with Tweek and he seemed happy with me (I still don't understand how or why, but I did get used to the fact, eventually) so really, even these thoughts were just passing fancies – drunken ones more often than not – as the three of us sat around watching crappy TV and sharing a bottle of something-or-other while we laughed ourselves fucking stupid...

It was what we thought was fun back then though, lookin' back, I'd say we were pretty close to the mark - even though these days there's not a lot of time for it. Growing up wasn't as fun as any of us thought it would be, I don't think. We didn't inherit freedom like we thought – just a whole new set of chains to hold us down to the ones out parents used to use, that's all.

It was on one of those nights where it all started. Me and Tweek were cuddled up on the couch (well, he was cuddled up to me) like always, he was smiling a smile that had more to do with alcohol than anything else – I'd say it was leaning towards the seventy/thirty percentage – he smiled more since we got together and I'd managed to convince him I was gonna leave or whatever, but still, that smile was definitely more alcohol than pure 'just happy to be here'.

I knew that smile, worked damn hard to see it, sometimes.

Anyway, Clyde was in the arm chair at Tweek's end of the couch, laughing so hard I thought he was gonna piss himself or somethin' which went a long way to explain why I was laughing so damn much myself. It's weird how some stuff sticks in your head, right? Like I can remember that night like it just happened but I couldn't tell ya what I did at work yesterday (well actually, I think it had something to do with the new company policy involving copyrights on free-lance photos, but you know what I mean). I remember what we were watchin', too – the Red Racer movie. Clyde thought it was fucking hysterical how much I used to adore that show and had insisted we watch, my so-called boyfriend piping up what a great idea that was...

Yeah, those really were fun times.

So we're all there, watching the Red Racer movie and with our bottle of JD almost gone (we had Tweek to thank for that lapse into luxury – he'd done some computer repair work for the family over the street and since he flat refused to let them pay him, they got him a bottle instead so he really couldn't say no). It was gettin' late, nearly one in the morning, but it was Saturday so there wasn't any work the next day for anyone except Tweek and his shift didn't start until the afternoon so who cares anyway...

It was Tweek who started it, that was probably the most surprising thing of all. Still is to this day, and we're all still together so I guess that says a lot. He must have seen me lookin' at him – at Clyde – and probably not just that night, either. He shifted beside me and pulled himself up enough to whisper into my ear, his words sending my eyes wider than I can imagine or remember than being before or since;

"You want him, don't you?"

It wasn't just the words though, it was that low, seductive tone of his he spoke in too, which was odd considering what he had just said. I remember turning to look at him so quick I almost smacked him in the head with my chin! But when our eyes met he was still smiling and this time I think it was probably forty-percent the alcohol, forty-percent lust and the last twenty simply eager to please.

I always loved that must about him – he was always wanting to make me happy. That sounds selfish, I suppose, but I never took advantage of that, it was just nice to feel important, that was all.

"It's alright," he went on, eyes moving from mine for a moment to get an unashamed eyeful of Clyde himself, "I can see why." A warning light seemed to flash in my mind at that. After all, this was VERY un-Tweek-like behaviour and my first thought was that he had seen the way I looked at Clyde sometimes, had gotten pissed about it and was going for a trap of some-kind. Not that any of that was anymore Tweek-like, but I was drunk and at the time it seemed to make perfect sense. I just remember not wanting to risk losing him, not matter what he may or may not have been trying to do.

I asked him what would make him say such a thing, doing my best to sound hurt although he just let out a sharp laugh and shook his head. Apparently he had noticed. A few times. And he honestly was just curious.

"Just wondered, that's all." He spared our friend another glance –he was stuffing his face with the free toffee popcorn I'd gotten from work – before offering a half-smile, half-smirk that I'd be lying if I didn't say turned me on. "I mean, we've always been close and if you did want him, and I could see why, then there wouldn't be anything but him stopping us from..." He broke off there, seeming a little more like his old self – nervous and shy but still so very eager to please – that's where I decided it was what it was, nothin' more, nothin' less. Some things are that way, it just takes some lookin' to see a lot of the time.

I remember pulling him closer at that, the old need to protect him when he was unsure automatic after being together as long as we had (even before we got 'together' it had always been that way) before moving to place a kiss on the end of his nose and then...

He was right, after all, and he'd missed somethin' I hadn't; The way Clyde looked at us, too. It was like he felt left out, alone. We'd always been close, like Tweek said, and although he never said anythin' about me and Tweek dating, I could tell he wasn't sure how to take the division that had sprung up between us 'cos of it. I asked Tweek, wanted to know if he was sure. If he understood what he was suggesting and really meant it. That he was certain...

"I'm sure," he replied, nuzzling closer to me again, that I remember perfectly; That feeling of warmth as his body heat mixed with my own and he breathed his breathe close to my side... "I want you to be happy, Craig. I understand and I want to do this." He didn't need to end the 'for you' part, we both knew it and so it was left unsaid. Eager to please, like always. I knew I'd always love him for that and that if he loved me enough to risk such a thing then the same applied there too.

I didn't see how anything would change for anything but the better. That was all I cared about – keeping my boyfriend and my best friend from getting hurt – and that's all I still care about, although now I guess they're both my boyfriends. Nothin' else crossed my mind. Who gets to decide what's normal, anyway? Who is it that gets to make all the rules? The people livin' the lives, I always thought, and we're all in livin' it together so I didn't care about anything else.

In the end, it was simple as that.

xox

Tweek's POV;

'That's how it started, it was born from fear. I actually felt safe for the first time in my life when I was with him, I'd have given anything to keep a-hold of that feeling. Anything at all...'

I didn't wanna move in with them at first. Sometimes I even wondered why we were friends, the amount of stress the two of them cause, I know it's not good for my nervousness... But sometimes, things just work, don't they? It took me a while to learn that lesson, between the metaphor-filled lectures of my father and the mellow, 'it's all good' attitude of my mother, I guess that's not overly surprising.

So, I ended up in that tiny/massive house with my two best friends and absolutely terrified. I always hated being away from home – that was the only place I felt even remotely safe - but it wasn't until I discovered things I had been told all my life were wrong that I ever chanced across what real safety was. It was in this new house after all and had been surrounding me all along...

I remember the night I finally bowed to the pressure well enough, but what I remember even better was the night of that thunder-storm. It had been summer-time, that week or two in South Park where the snow melts and there's just so much pressure building in the air that you can small it, feel it, almost see it – it's thick, like treacle – and there I was, in my new, cramped room and wide awake as I watched the lightning fork its' way across the sky through my drawn curtains and listened for the rumbling that followed/proceeded it.

It always seemed to me that the sound came after, but I dunno which way around it really is...

I remember thinking I heard something outside my room. I remember squeezing my eyes shut and praying to any God that would listen that what-ever-it-was would just go away. I remember wishing to have Craig here with me, hugging me and running a hand through my rats-nest of hair and whispering in his calming tone that everything would be fine...

And suddenly, there he was; He opened the door looking both worried and annoyed to see me, a quivering wreck under my blankets and about as close to tears as I'd come since the last time the gnomes had visited a year or two earlier after having not been around for a few years.

He didn't say a word, just walked on into my room, shutting the door behind him, and climbed into bed beside me and before I knew it, he really was hugging me and running a hand through my rats-nest of hair and whispering to me that everything would be alright in that calming tone...

I already loved him before that night, before I knew it was okay for a boy to love another boy in the way that I thought I did, but after that night things became a lot simpler. We talked through rain and the wind and the thunderous rumbles and sparks of light crawling across the skies...

And I never slept alone in that room again. I was never happier.

Back in those days, the three of us spent a lot of time together, even though we all worked (Clyde at his dad's shoe store, Craig at the video store and me at my dad's coffee store) and we drank a lot too. We were teenagers, after all, and since I disliked bars and clubs my two best friends spared me the pressure of having to choose between turning them down and being left home alone all evening and long into the night or putting up with the very zenith of my fears by going along with them, simply staying in with me and splitting a bottle of whatever we happened to have at the time.

I loved them both for that, in ways I could never hope to explain. Even though I spend my spare time writing these days, I still don't have the words for their kindness and acceptance of me being me...

So that's when I decided that if I was ever gonna get some peace of mind back after all the times I'd watched Craig watching Clyde, I had to do it right away. I had to speak up and see what happened because I was scared of losing him, you see. That's how it started, it was born from fear. I actually felt safe for the first time in my life when I was with him, I'd have given anything to keep a-hold of that feeling.

Anything at all...

He didn't say anything at first, just looking a mixture of shocked, guilty and panicked. I could see he didn't believe I was saying what I was, that maybe I was up to something. I had to smile, there weren't many times when I can get one over on him, after all, but I wasn't about to quit, either.

I went on, pushing a little more for a more verbal reaction, letting my own eyes wander over to where our friend sat and finding that I wasn't lying as much as I thought I'd have to when I told him I could see why he wanted him if he did. Clyde was... I'm not sure what it was about him, what it still is, I guess, he just has this quality that makes you wanna hug him or something...

"W-what on Earth are you talking about, Tweekers?" He'd asked, putting on that tone that told me he wasn't about to admit to anything until he had some answers first. I didn't mind, I thought I could guess what he was thinking – that he didn't wanna ruin anything between any of us, that he cared about us and didn't want anyone getting hurt – Craig's easy to read sometimes, even more so since we left school and he doesn't care so much about that stupid reputation anymore. "Why would you ask me that, man?" I just smiled some more, feeling a little nervous now in case I'd read things wrong.

I didn't think for a single second that I had, but I never was the spontaneous type.

When I went on, I told him that if I was right, then maybe we could do something about it - something I don't think I would have ever suggested in a million years if you'd asked me about it, but I wasn't stupid, I saw the way Craig looked at him, and I knew how left out of our relationship Clyde felt. Logically, it all made sense and if it would make Craig happy... He kissed me before he spoke again, his words exciting me in ways I never thought they would if he should ever had spoken them...

"You know what you're saying, right?" He asked, stroking my rats-nest of hair again, speaking in a low tone with his eyes flitting to Clyde every now and again, "You understand what's gonna happen if I say yes, right? You really want to this? You're sure?" I nodded, I smiled, I nuzzled back into him again out of embracement as to just how much I did understand, how much I did indeed want...

We don't exactly broadcast our situation, but I guess most people who know us know we're all together now and for the most part, no-one says anything bad. I don't think I'd care if I did though, if I thought I was safe and happy before just with Craig, I feel twice as much of both now. And if being with Craig all that time before Clyde entered into the equation taught me anything at all, it was to not care what people think as much as I used to.

Maybe there really is safety in numbers, huh? But I know there is in love.

xox

Clyde's POV;

'It's hard enough to find happiness sometimes, so if you do find something good that works, you've got to hold on to it with all you have. That worked well enough for me, at least.'

I'd love to sit here, full of that bull-shit confidence being named number one in that list the girls made in fourth grade gave me all those years back, but I never in a million years would have guessed for any of this to happen. Not their proposition and certainly not the relationship that grew from it. I damn-sure never expected to be able to say I have two boyfriend who I love and who love me to anyone who should ask – not that I go around advertising the fact, people can be idiots sometimes, like Craig says.

We were young back then, I supposed that meant we didn't care so much what people thought or said so long as our own selfish needs were satisfied. But if what came from us being selfish is what we all have now, then it's a good thing we were.

Tweek an' Craig told their story already, and like them, I remember that night clearly too. I remember many nights before that as well though; Watching the two of them giggling, cuddled up together their hands everywhere except on the popcorn Craig used to smuggle home from work and... Well, let's just say their tongues tended to be too busy for much of any decent conversation, if you see what I'm getting at?

So yeah, I remember that night for more than just the amazing sex. I remember if for the way that I actually felt included and important for the first time since the two of them started dating all that time before. That probably sounds pretty gay, but really? It's not.

There used to be four of us, see, then Token went off to NY Uni to study since his parents were so damn rich and there was never any way he was ever going to hang around us or South Park longer than was necessary. Next of course, Craig and Tweekers got together and started doing more things without me, which I understood, sure, and I was happy for them.

Just wasn't very happy myself, you know?

So yeah, I was pretty sure they were going to up and go soon enough. Find themselves a place together and leave me behind just like Token had without what I can see there being a second thought – he never wrote or called, see? That sounds gay too, but a guy can get his feelings hurt without being gay, you know? - and I had no reason to think Craig and Tweekers would be any different.

Except that night I noticed they were muttering to one another rather than doing the sort of sexy stuff I'm sure I wasn't supposed enjoy watching so much as they normally did. Didn't think much of it to start with, it was their business, after all, and the way I figured it was the more fuss I made of whatever was going on, the sooner they'd be off and I'd be alone so...

Tweek slid away from Craig's side and to the other end of the couch, a sort of amused/nervous/excited look on his face and then I hear Craig telling me to come over and sit with them. That was... Weird. I should have figured something was up right then, but I didn't. Occasionally they asked me to sit with them, when I was looking especially miserable, I suppose, but the looks they were giving me said something was up this time.

I did what he asked, they were my friends, after all, and I wasn't about to turn down whatever small gesture of belonging they were going to offer me for the sakes of their feelings just as much as for my own. I was surprised when Tweek moved back from the end of the couch again and right up to me, offering me a sweet, contented smile before resting his head on my shoulder and letting the arm nearest me tangle around mine nearest to him and finally let our fingers entwine. That was definitely odd, if it had be Craig, I suppose I would have been surprised, but it being Tweek, I close to had a heart attack!

No time for such thoughts though; Craig was moving too, shifting a little closer to me himself and offering little more than a smirk as a warning before leaning over to attack my neck with his lips and teeth and again, I was thinking heart attack accept not as much I could or should have been, perhaps – after all, alcohol and loneliness make pretty much any attention available readily accepted, you know? Besides, after watching them and wondering about it for so long, I was willing to see where this was headed.

Tweek's free hand moved to near the collar of the t-shirt I was wearing, then the once so timid blonde let his fingers walk lightly down all the way to the hem which hung over my jeans – black and faded, I remember. I loved those jeans, still have them even though they don't fit anymore – then they just went right on walking down my leg for a little while both of Craig's hands snuck under the material and started stroking and teasing. I'd have liked to focus of the feeling of both his hands and his mouth more but then Tweek's hand reached the fastenings of my jeans and started to undo them...

I remember turning to him, I must have looked as surprised as I felt because he simply smiled, squeezed my hand and moved himself to join our lips, distracting me while he went back to his decided task and letting Craig shift himself to continue with his own ministrations...

Just thinking back to that first time makes me horny. All that wondering what was going to happen, what it would be like, where it could lead...

Things have moved on from there though, we're more than just the sex now. I dunno if Craig and Tweek ever expected them to or not, if that night was supposed to be a one off to make me feel better (not saying it didn't, just you know) or if they wanted to start up this weird relationship we're now all a part of, I just know that despite knowing I would never have had the balls to approach them about it myself, I'm glad they saw fit to try, their reasons stopping being important about the same time as Craig asked if maybe we should all move to a place together, since his room and his bed was getting 'more than a little crowed'.

Tweek was the first to tell me he loved me; 'I love you too, Clyde' I remember him saying after first telling Craig the same thing, causing Craig to laugh at how confused that seemed to make the poor blonde before giving him a hug of approval. I've told them both I love them and Craig's said it once or twice – he never was good with words but I know he does so it's really not that important. It's hard enough to find happiness sometimes, so if you do find something good that works, you've got to hold on to it with all you have. That worked well enough for me, at least.

Selfishness is a good thing to have, I suppose is what I want to say above all things. Selfishness within reason, perhaps I should add. I used to think I'd end up alone because it had happened once before and why the hell shouldn't it happen again? I know different now.

I'll always have at least one person to my left and one to my right.

xox

...And with belief comes power.

The power to be different.

To be the way that is best for you.

To help you live your life.

To make you happy.