Disclaimer : I dont own twilight.. or the characters, i just own this story. No copyright intented.

I hate it when you leave

Bella's POV.

Aha, i think i sort of failed at this. First fan fic :)

Review if you want... :)

I tried to keep my eyes fixed to the television, attempting to concentrate on the football game Charlie was watching, but I couldn't stop them from drifting anxiously to the clock every minute or so. I wondered if my absence bothered Edward as much as his absence bothered me. I was still under house arrest, not that I had been protesting for it to be lifted as that would have ensued Charlie to ask for more details as to my disappearance those many weeks ago, and I hadn't been able to think of a convincing enough alibi.

I found it impossible to concentrate downstairs so I excused myself saying I had homework I had to do. I fired up the slow computer in my room, hoping I had a nice long email from Renee, any kind of distraction was a blessing. I glanced briefly to the clock in the corner of the monitor, 7:10, I had a good twenty minutes to kill. I was happy enough to read through the contents of Renee's email, even laugh at the clutzy things she'd done in the last few days. But when it came to replying, I couldn't think of anything interesting to put. I wrote about how I was studying hard for my finals in a few weeks, and of course how Charlie and Edward were, I couldn't bring myself to write about Jacob, it still hurt too much to think about him.

It took all of fifteen minutes. I knew Edward would be on time, he always was. So I quickly brushed through my hair and changed out of my sweats into some jeans. I didn't look very different, but it filled up the final five minutes and I could hear the soft purr of his silver Volvo pulling up to the house.

My heart beat began to accelerate, I raced down the stairs, tripping on the last step, of course. I flew into the door just as Edward knocked slowly once. I wrenched it open, breathless from my flight, looking up into his golden eyes I lost my train of thought and I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. He would love that. One of the many things he said he would miss once he turned me into an immortal being, to live alongside him for our entire existence, was my blushing. He couldn't get enough. He caught me by my waist and brushed a strand of hair away from my cheek, slowly tracing the contours of my cheekbone with his ice cold fingers. He smiled my favourite crooked smile, and pressed his lips to my forehead.

Charlie grunted in the living room, entwining my fingers with his I pulled Edward inside and closed the door, I announced his arrival to Charlie and then gave him a pleading look to be nice. Charlie disliked Edward, he had his reasons I suppose, but I still couldn't help wishing he'd be nicer to him. I knew I couldn't expect him to react to Edward the way he did to Jacob – his name caused a lump to form in my throat – but he could at least show some sort of hospitality towards him.

"Good evening Charlie" Edward smiled, it would take me years to understand how Edward could be so polite to Charlie, as you didn't even have to be able to read minds to know Charlie wished Edward to never set foot in house again. Charlie nodded absentmindedly in the direction of the television, I assumed he was trying to avoid seeing Edwards fingers laced through mine and his arm wrapped tightly around my waist.

I pulled Edward in the direction of the stairs. We were soon lying on my bed, me embraced in his stone arms, smiling up at him as if all my Christmas's had come at once. He looked at me with the same love and adoration in his eyes, but also a sense of restraint. He stroked my hair, occasionally pressing his cool lips to mine. I buried my head in his chest and wrapped myself tighter around him. He held me close but I knew he wasn't going to allow me to break the boundaries. Not tonight. Not until I was 'unbreakable' his words, not mine. I believed that Edward couldn't hurt me, not physically anyway. I knew the emotional pain he had once caused me but I had forgiven him, he still tortured himself with the knowledge that he had all but killed me inside at a point. When he left, but he came back, and that's what mattered. The present and the future. I still winced at the memory, and clutched myself tighter to him.

"What's the matter Bella, love?" He whispered, pulling away slightly and trying to find my eyes under the curtain of hair that had fallen over my face,

"Nothing, nothing at all" I sighed, looking up into his eyes, I could actually forget it all, forget everything that hurt me or bothered me in the slightest, his eyes were like medication for me, I felt greedy taking it all in. No matter how many times I saw Edward his face was as dazzling as ever, his beauty unimaginable and amazing. His bronze hair stuck up in tufts, so silky soft and his flawless skin so smooth and solid. Like an angel. Though that still didn't seem to cover how absolutely perfect he was.

He seemed satisfied with my answer, as he could tell whatever had been bothering me was long gone, so he smiled my favourite smile and tilted my face upwards, he brushed along my cheek and down my throat with his soft lips and whispered how beautiful I was into my ear.

I knew compared to most girls my age I was as plain as they came, I found it impossible that he could see me as beautiful. I pressed my lips to his and I felt his respond urgently, like he hadn't kissed me for months. I didn't pull away, I didn't get many moments like this, though he assured me he wanted me just as much as I wanted him, he didn't believe he would be able to control himself, he thought I would get hurt. His hands pulled my face closer to his, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, slightly pulling myself on top of him. I could feel his lips slowing and I knew I had mere seconds left to enjoy this before he would push my off and say it was enough for tonight. I knew he was just being cautious but the rejection still stung somewhat.

"I'm sorry" He whispered, pressing his forehead to mine, "You know why-"

"Don't" I cut him off, "Don't worry, I know, I just wish sometimes-"

He cut me off this time, "I wish too"

"Soon" I smiled. I knew by saying soon Edwards reaction would be one I wouldn't like to see but the word slipped out before I could stop myself. He grimaced, not at the thought of me and him, but at the thought of what he would have to do to make it possible. And the thought of it being soon made even more unhappy.

I shrugged it off, not wanting to make a big deal and resumed my position of my head buried into his chest, his indescribable scent over powering my thoughts. I lay there wondering for a while why such a beautiful creature could want me but soon decided it didn't matter, the only thing that mattered was that he did.

Much too soon Edward pulled me up into a sitting position and climbed off the bed, I knew why immeaditatly and smoothed out my hair, presuming it would have become a bit of a mess. Moments later Charlie knocked against my bedroom door and announced it was time for Edward to leave. A smug grin of satisfaction painted neatly on his face. I sighed and stood up, seeing Edward out was one of the hardest parts of the day, even though I knew he would be back soon enough to sing me to sleep. That thought made me smile.

"See you soon, love" He whispered to low for Charlie to hear, and then turned and headed for his car.

My heart sank just a little bit watching him drive away.

"You okay bells?" Charlie called from the living room

"Yeah, just tired" I replied, "I'm going to get an early night I think"

"Another one? Its only nine thirty" My early nights had something to do with a certain dazzling boy, not that Charlie could ever know I spent every night lying in Edwards arms, he'd rip his head off for sure.

"I'm worn out from studying" I lied

"I hope it pays off, night bells, love you" He called

"Night dad" I felt uncomfortable telling Charlie I loved him, I'd been that way since I was a kid, just summering here, but knowing I only had limited time left, I decided he had to know just how much he meant to me, "Love you"

I had a quick shower, analyzing myself in the full length mirror afterwards, I was completely dumbfounded trying to find what Edward saw in me. I pulled on my pyjamas and had another look.

"You're beautiful" I felt his arms wrap around my waist, a shiver shot up my spine, not from the fact that his arms were as cold as ice, as was the rest of his body, but because he had entered my room so gracefully I hadn't even noticed he was there. I was slightly embarrassed he had caught me looking in the mirror and twisted round to put my face into his chest before he could realize I was blushing. He pulled me away and smiled, "My Bella" He spoke softly and brushed the top of my head with his lips. My heart immediately went into overdrive and I knew he could hear it, he smiled, his whole face lighting up, and gently pressed his lips to mine. It lasted mere moments but I kept my eyes closed, holding onto the feeling as long as I could. He swept me up into his arms and gently placed me down onto the bed. Wrapping me up tightly in the duvet he held me close to him. I could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke.

"I missed you"

"I missed you too" I replied, turning to face him, "I hate it when you leave"

"I do too, but it's necessary, for Charlie's sake" He sighed, "We have all the time in the world, don't forget"

"I believe you, forever" I smiled

"Forever" He agreed

I saw the hint of dark gold begin to appear in his eyes. "Are you hunting this weekend?" I queried

"I may, but if you wish for me to stay here, I can wait" He replied calmly, holding me tighter towards him,

"Of course I want you to stay, but I know you need to hunt" I stroked the back of his neck from his hairline to where his shirt collar began.

We lay in silence for a while, lost in our own thoughts. Naturally mine involved him, it was one of the many times I was relieved he could not see into my mind. I was thinking of the future, of when I would become like him, when I would walk alongside him not plain, but beautiful, not weak but strong. We would be equal in almost every way. Though I could still not imagine myself ever as graceful as him, I laughed to myself when I realised I would probably be the world's most accident prone vampire.

"What's so funny?" He inquired,

"I was just thinking" I smiled, "Of the future, when I'm, well... you know, and if I'm still as accident prone as ever"

He shook his head, "Your impossible" he tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear and stroked my cheek with the back of his hand, I blushed as usual, I tried to move my face away before he could see, but he tilted my head towards him and smiled, "Why do you hide your face when you're blushing?"

"It's embarrassing" I muttered and looked away, "I look like a fool"

"No, you never look like a fool" He frowned and pulled me into his chest.

I loved being so close to him, my heart fluttered at the thought of being closer and I felt his chest move while a soft musical laughter slipped through his lips. I pushed myself up so my face was an inch from his and looked into his eyes, I wondered if I'd ever get used to his un-natural beauty. But before the thought could even be formed properly his lips found mine. His hand pressed against the small of back and his other one laced through my hair. I kissed him back, although he was permanently cold I could feel the heat between us, I hooked my leg over his hip and pulled myself on top of him, sliding my hand up his shirt I felt where his heartbeat should be.

His lips traced along my cheek, my neck, my collar bone, I hoped maybe they would go further but he just returned back to my lips. I was slightly disappointed but I knew his self restraint was put to the test enough. I slid my hands round his back and pressed him closer to me. My heart was racing and my lips were moving with his, I never wanted to part. We stayed like this longer than usual, I could almost feel the boundaries being broken but what did I care?

"I love you Bella" He whispered, "I've waited for you, for so long"

"I love you too" I sighed, leaning into his embrace, I couldn't describe how much I loved him, even if I was given a lifetime. And that's what we had, a very very very long lifetime. A huge grin spread across my face at the thought, but was replaced by a yawn seconds later.

"You're tired" He said, it wasn't a question, "You should sleep"

"What if I don't want too?" I protested, "What if I want to stay awake with you all night?"

He grinned my favourite grin, "Then I would feel guilty for allowing you too, you should sleep, you have school tomorrow"

"So do you" I replied, smug

"But I don't need to sleep" He frowned, "You can dream Bella, I cannot, embrace your dreams"

"But I'll only dream of you" It felt corny saying it, but I knew it was true

"And I will be here when you wake, you won't have missed anything good" He grinned

I was about to protest that I would, I would have missed precious hours with him, but another yawn passed through my lips and I knew I would fall asleep soon.

"Sleep, love" He kissed my forehead and then my lips,

I settled into a comfortable position as close to him as I could get and let my lids fall shut. He began to hum my lullaby, and within seconds I was dreaming.

It was a strange dream, I knew I was dreaming but it felt as though it was real. I was walking along La Push beach, not with Jacob, but with Edward. This was strange itself for the fact that the Cullen's weren't supposed to be over the treaty line and La Push beach was definitely past the point where they were allowed. The sun was reflecting off him like shooting rainbows. We were walking hand in hand, talking about nothing in particular. He was asking how Charlie was, and I was in return asking about his family. When suddenly out of nowhere, Renee was walking towards me. How strange to see her on La Push beach of all places. I couldn't help smiling. But as she got closer I could see she wasn't smiling, she was frowning. "What's he doing here?" She sneered, nodding in Edwards's direction. My mouth fell open with shock, Renee adored Edward, I wouldn't even expect that level of rudeness from Charlie! "Well!?" She demanded. Edward didn't look fazed by it, he was staring out into the ocean, lost in thought.

"Mum, what are you talking about?" I hissed, "He's with me!"

"I don't understand..." She stuttered, "He's with.. you?" The anger had faded and was replaced by fear and shock,

"Yes, what are you talking about, I'm so confused!" I searched my head trying to figure out why Renee looked so scared and what she was on about,

"You do know they're after him, don't you?" Her eyes narrowed,

"What? Who?" I demanded, I was now full on confused,

"Them..." She pointed behind us, I whipped my head around and saw a whole crowd of people, I saw Jacob and all his friends armed with axes and other kinds of weaponry, I saw Charlie, with his gun, even though I knew this would cause no harm to Edward I still shuddered, and then I saw them, the Volturi. Panic set in like never before. I tugged on Edwards's hand, willing him to turn and look at me, for some kind of reaction, but he just stared straight into the ocean, like I wasn't even there. The crowd began to advance, they were mere feet away when Edward finally turned around. It was too late, I knew it. They jumped him without a second of thought, I felt his fingers slip away from mine. And then all of a sudden the scene was zooming out, like I was floating away from him. I tried desperately to reach for him, he was screaming my name, I was trying so hard to get back to him. Shouting his name through silent lips, and then it was all over.

I woke up sweating.

"Are you awake, love?" Edward mumbled into the hair,

I flipped around and kicked out of the covers, I was far too hot, I pulled him closer to me but he held me by my shoulders and looked into my eyes, "Bella, are you okay?"

"I'm fine" I lied, not wanting to look him in the eyes, I felt guilty that I hadn't been able to help him in my nightmare, though he was entirely oblivious.

"Are you sure, you were shouting in your sleep" He looked concerned, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want too"

"Just a bad dream" I shrugged, I didn't think it meant anything so I figured it was best to let it go, "What time is it?"

"Time for you to get ready for school" He smiled, "I was going to wake you"

"Hmm, no need" I replied, "I think I'll go for a shower"

"And I should go, I'll see you in an hour" He brushed his lips softly against mine and disappeared out my window before I could even sit up. I sighed, thinking of the long school day ahead, and so close to finals, they would be working us overtime.

I felt clean and fresh after a shower but then had to hurry getting dressed. I wore an outfit I knew Alice would disapprove of entirely, not on purpose of course. I hated the lectures she gave me about "off the rack" clothing but I really didn't have time to scour for clothes today. I nibbled on some dry toast and then dashed out the door, shouting goodbye to Charlie as I went.

There he was, my personal saviour, my angel, my Edward. Leaning against his shiny Volvo. I wondered if I could ever imagine myself driving a car like that. I mentally answered no. I'd probably wrap up into a tree, and severely damage it, and myself.

Whilst driving to school Edward seemed distracted, he made small talk but it didn't feel as if he was really there. He was staring ahead as though something was bothering him, but I didn't want to ask what. It seemed like it was something he'd tell me in time, or not at all.

I was immediately pulled into a vice like hug off Alice when I exited the car, she pecked me on the cheek and held me at arm's length, "Bella!" She grinned. I never understood how she could always be so bouncy and full of joy, especially today when the thick grey clouds overhead threatened a heavy downpour. But I suppose my mood was suffering because I was worried about Edward. What could have happened in the hour or so between leaving my house and coming back that would bother him enough to make him almost oblivious to the world.

"Hi Alice" I smiled, it was weak and she knew it

"What's up Bella?" She frowned, he forehead creased as she analyzed me, "I can't see this as being a bad day for you"

Maybe not for me ...

"Nothing's up, I'm okay" I lied, I knew she could tell but she wouldn't press it

"Your outfit looks like it's from a jumble sale, where did you get those jeans?" She shook her head in disapproval. Trust Alice to bring the conversation round to my outfit. I looked towards Edward while she babbled on about how she just Had to take me shopping soon.

He had a blank expression fixed onto his face, if I didn't know better I would have thought he was a statue.

The morning passed in a blur, the lessons were boring and mostly studying. I barely listened to a word that was said. I anxiously waited for the bell to ring, I wanted to find Edward at lunch and talk to him about what was up, I was hoping he'd be better by now though.

The bell went and I scarpered from the classroom, I heard Mike call after me but I just wasn't in the mood for conversation right now. I headed towards the dining hall and he was already sat at our table. Staring into space, just like this morning. My heart sank, all hopes of his mood lifting had disappeared. As I made my way towards the table he didn't even look up.

"Hello" He smiled, it didn't reach his eyes

"Edward... Is something the matter?" I knew it was blunt and straight to the point but I just wasn't in the mood to tip toe around,

"Alice is blocking me" He admitted, well how easy was that? I was expecting a whole spiel of denial ect.

"What makes you think that?" I asked, what reason would Alice have to block Edward? Unless she's seen something that she didn't want him to see...

Speak of the devil, before he could answer Alice skipped up to the table and placed her lunch tray down next to Edwards. I would never get over her beauty either, her short hair was always styled spectacularly and her features were flawless, like Edwards. It was like everything fit perfectly.

"Hello Alice" Edward greeted her with a look on his face that could be interpreted as 'Perfect timing'

"Hi guys!" She smiled enthusiastically, maybe what she had foreseen wasn't so bad... if that even was why she was blocking him,

"You seem in a good mood" I commented, hoping she'd elaborate on my theories

"As always" She smiled, "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay" I smiled back, dammit...

Jasper was next to appear at the table, he sat down next to Alice and wrapped his arm around her waist, her smile widened and she pecked him on the cheek. Lunch carried on pretty much the same way, Edward didn't speak much and I continued to wonder about what Alice might have seen.

It started to rain around 2 o'clock and just got heavier as the hour passed. I was glad Edward was driving me home, it would give us a chance to continue the conversation we had began at lunch. But all he would say was that she was definitely hiding something, this bothered him, he didn't like being blocked.

I was soaked by the time I got inside, even though I had only had to walk a few metres to the door, the rain was beating down in sheets.

I changed out of my wet clothes and checked my emails. I replied to one from Renee and then attempted at some studying before going downstairs to fix something for dinner. I contemplated ringing Alice and asking her about it all but figured it was best not to. I began making dinner as there wasn't any cleaning to do, whilst the pasta was cooking I put some laundry in and read the paper.

"I'm home, Bells?" Charlie called from the hall, he hung up his jacket and gun belt and then made his way into the kitchen, "It's chucking it down out there"

"Good day at work?" I asked, closing the paper and heading over the microwave to retrieve the pasta sauce,

"Nothing eventful, which is maybe a good sign" He shook his head, "I don't know, sometimes I wish there was more going on"

"Definitely a good sign" I smiled,

"Maybe... It feels like there's something big coming along though" He sighed "I wish it would come sooner, there's never anything to do"

"Dinners ready" I avoided his comment, why would he want something criminal going on? And if his 'feeling' was right, maybe this was what Alice had seen, then why was she in such a good mood? I sighed at the confusion and questions and served up dinner. Charlie asked me about school and I told him the truth, very uneventful. After Charlie had excused himself to the lounge to watch the game and I had finished the washing up, there was next to nothing to do to fill the half an hour I had before Edward would promptly arrive. I cleaned down the sides even though they didn't need doing and I put the washing in the dryer. I almost rang Angela, just to pass the time, but decided against it. In the end I watched the clock until the hand ticked to 7:30 and Edward knocked softly at the front door.

"Right on time" I heard Charlie mutter under his breath, as I went to answer the door.

The rain had lessened but not stopped by far so raindrops were nestled neatly into his bronze hair. He leaned in to kiss me and then held me close. He seemed in a better mood than before which is I was very thankful for. After he had said hi to Charlie we headed to my room. I was hoping he had answers.