Matsuda couldn't sleep. He knew Mogi, Aizawa, and Ide were going through the same but they didn't shoot Light like he did. Every night Matsuda would lie awake dreading sleep and the dreams, no, nightmares, it would bring. But he would always drift into that restless slumber. Every night he would wake up screaming only hours later, visions of arms stretching towards him out of the darkness and Light's voice echoing around him. I thought you trusted me Matsuda, I thought I was your friend. But you shot me, know I'm dead, DEAD YOU HEAR! You had to deliver those last shots that I would bleed to death from. I thought you knew, humans who use the Death Note don't go to Heaven or Hell, you condemned me Matsuda, it's your fault. Each day he would walk into work, bags under his eyes. Aizawa tried to crack a joke once that they were all starting to look like L. No one had laughed though, because they all realized that it really was like L. L had been haunted by nightmares, fully aware of all the possibilities.
Matsuda was terribly alone.
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Aizawa didn't sleep anymore, for reasons almost identical to Matsuda's. Nightmares haunted him, even in his waking moments. You never trusted me Aizawa. If you had trusted me maybe it wouldn't have turned out the way it did. Now you will pay, Kira is god, you cannot escape Kira. Divine punishment will be dealt. If Aizawa even blinked he would see his daughter and wife fall down screaming, clutching at their chests, ripping, tearing as blood spurted. And when his eyes were open a tiny voice, not Light's, something that sounded like a twisted version of his own- You have seen what will happen. See them smiling now, cherish it, because you won't have it for long. None of the teams, the SPK included, would share their nightmares, though they all had them.
Aizawa felt stranded and alone, wandering in despair and worry.
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Near quit. He was struggling, drowning. It was his fault Mello and Matt were dead, if he could've done better they would be alive. Near never would've been able to share the joy of victory with them, not truly, but it hurt having them yanked so harshly away. Only with Mello and some of Matt's help could Near measure up to L. Near had failed. He had proved what L could not, but he still felt trapped in a net both L and Kira had set and planned. No case would ever be the same, the truth was seeping, and the assistance of L and his successors would never be needed again. The SPK had no purpose now that Kira was dead and they had joined with the 'L Task Force' as it was called.
Near was alone, dead, there was no point for him to continue.
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Misa had tried to kill herself.. She could hear the beeping of the hospital machines around her. She knew that Light was dead, somehow. And she had this feeling that everything was over. That there was someone precious locked in her head where her subconscious hid it away. Someone precious to her that had died to lengthen her life. Someone else did that too. But Misa couldn't remember. That knowledge that she couldn't recall, it was killing her. Misa knew her life was over.
Misa was alone and that left her no reason to live.
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Ryuk had gotten his kicks, but now there was no point really. He had fun but now the adrenaline rush was over. Both worlds were still rotting, and the hope of changing it was dead. Rem would've understood, but her stupidity killed her. She was gone because she saved the Misa girl. Ryuk was lost and soon he would probably give up. He wasn't writing any names, why should he? He would probably just fade to dust. Like Rem he thought ironically, Except she died because she did something, I'm dying because I didn't do something.
Ryuk was fading when being alone left him no initiative.
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Light was enveloped in Nothing. Sheer Nothingness. It was all around him. For all eternity. Light was doomed. Kira had killed him. Light slowly faltered when the notebook was found, flickering in and out in between Kira and Light. But when he had Rem kill Ryuuzaki… no, L, Ryuuzaki was an alias, just another alias… Light had given one last cry of anguish and had withdrawn into Kira, hiding, afraid of what he had become. Kira ruled. Until Light ran. Light had known he was dying as he ran out the warehouse. And he had seen himself, Light, and Kira disappeared with a cold maniacal laugh; Kira wasn't going to die, he was going to leave and let Light die alone. But L had come, Light had not died alone, but now he was.
Light was alone.
All alone except for the visions of L coming to visit him. And it hurt that even in Light's hallucinations, L was still right.
The worst part about being alone is that when your memories come back to haunt you, no one is there to drive them away.
Too true were his words, as if he too were alone and knew the truth.
All alone, everyone was all alone.