Sometime Shortly After The Big Bang
Prologue: Tough Questions
He really should have seen this coming. It was a question he had been asked many times before, one that no matter how long he put off or hoped wouldn't come up they always seemed to ask eventually. Oh sure they asked it in different ways but the core of the question was always the same, and while he had learned to lie more effectively in response, and remain his outward composure in doing so, inside the question hit him just as hard every time.
He had foolishly let himself believe he had escaped it when it came to his latest companion, the rather feisty Amy Pond, as it had already been asked before and he had managed to get by with little more than describing it as a bad day. He laughs to himself, a bad day, that's about the understatement of the century. Of course to a man who the rules of time mean nothing there is an even greater irony in the use of such terms. This man of course is the Doctor, and here now he once finds himself traveling in the TARDIS, the closest thing he has to a home with no place to escape from the simplest of questions.
"So what did happen to the rest of the Time Lords?"
In the past he had handled this moment by going into a weepy sob story, one that painted the destruction of his race as a horrible tragedy by an incredible evil. It had always been a story full of lies and half truths no matter how many he times he told it, and here now he finds himself unable to say those words anymore. How could he after all that had just so recently occurred. Sure he had been a different man back then but it was still only less than a year ago in his personal timeline at least, a time which seemed like nothing to a man that had lived as long as he. Just over a year since he had found himself back in the presence of his entire species and for the second time in his life had played a key role in their destruction.
More importantly he was a new man now, and the old ways of answering that question whether with anger or sorrow just didn't seem to work like they once did. While he struggles inside his head to find the right words, his mouth opens to speak seemingly on its own as if his lips are determined their own final attempt to get him out of this situation. As he listens to the words leave his mouth, he realizes that his subconscious defense mechanisms are not all that creative apparently, as all they can seemingly muster is the same weak response he had given before.
"I told you Amy, it was a bad day, and bad things happened."
Before he can even finish the sentence however he can tell that such a simple response was not going to cut it this time. It was moments like this in which the Doctor prayed for some sort of disaster or alien invasion to thwart the most. He sneaks a glance at the TARDIS phone, but knows deep down no matter how much he wished, it wasn't going to just magically ring and get him out of this now. Plus he doubts Amy would let him answer it anyways considering the stern look on her face, one he had increasingly learned to try to avoid being on the receiving end of in his travels with her.
Then suddenly as if a switch had been suddenly flipped in his head the truth pours out as simple and matter of factly as possible.
"Fine Amy, the truth is I am the last of my species because I made it that way. My race had literally gone mad fighting a war with the greatest evil the universe has ever known, and by the end of it they had twisted them into something not much worse then what they were fighting. Because of this…I had.…I had no choice Amy."
It was as if that last piece of the statement didn't really need saying aloud. The point was made and with this confession the Doctor begins to break down some. Amy grabs her one time imaginary friend, and holds him, but the look on her face as she does tells the Doctor just how clearly shocked by the revelation she truly is, as whatever she had expected his response to be it certainly wasn't this. The Doctor slowly pulls away from the girl as the words continue out of his mouth rather uncontrollably.
"They were going to do it, they were going to destroy all of creation. Rise above they said, transcend into a higher consciousness they said. Amy, it was like something Davros would have planned!"
He continues unabated, ignoring the clearly confused look on Amy's face at these names and idea's she has no comprehension of. There is a pause, where she notes a look of concentration on his face as he works out what to say next.
"No it was even worse in a way, and yet they all agreed, or at the least they were too afraid not to. The almighty Rassilon had spoken and who were any of them to argue. When I think about it, the fact that I was loudest dissenter probably only cemented the plan as a good idea to many, you see Amy I was seen as something of a troublemaker by…well….the majority of my people to be honest."
He chuckles lightly to himself for a second as if he allows his serious confession to be interrupted by pleasant memories of a time and a people long gone. Then just as quickly as the laughter had arrived its gone, leaving poor Amy increasingly off guard as she listens to her mystery man become increasingly less of a mystery before her eyes. She again tries to talk, desiring answers to so many questions raging within her, but before she can the Doctor again plunges back into his tale.
"I had to do it…don't you see Amy I had no choice, we were talking about the end of time itself here, and yet still, all of them, my people, my…family even."
It takes all of Amy's inner restraint to not react quite loudly to the sudden revelation that her gorgeous spaceman had a family he has never mentioned before, but even she is able to realize this isn't the biggest revelation being shared with her at the moment and she needs to allow him to finish.
Brought on by this sudden outpouring of thoughts kept hidden inside for so long, new revelations begin to enter the Doctor's mind. Idea's that he had never wanted to admit even to himself before and yet he now finds himself dangerously close to saying aloud to yet another random human he has coaxed into coming along with him. It's with this thought the Doctor again takes a look at the confused Amy Pond sitting across from him and feels a sudden pang of guilt in that it is this particular companion he finds himself burdening with his inner demons. The companion not taken for his usual reasons of loneliness, or a desire to make them live up some higher potential, but rather taken initially for what had been nothing more than a mild curiosity around her possible connection to what at the time had been little more than a new shiny puzzle for him to solve. While she had become so much more to him than just that during their travels, he still felt a guilt in just how drastically he had uprooted the life of this one in particular, for reasons that were originally plenty dishonest. Even now he was planning to uproot her even more then she already was, as they had just recently dropped her new husband back on earth to make some final preparations so that the pair of them could leave the planet behind and travel with him on a new long term basis.
The Doctor closes his eyes for a moment, as if breaking his gaze off of Amy will allow him to stop sidetracking what he really should be thinking about. Yes, he knew it was strange that it was Amy he found himself confessing all this to, when he had not been able to say such things to even the likes of Rose when he still had the chance. But he knew deep down that who he was saying this all too was irrelevant as it had been clear to him for awhile now that the words being spoken were more for himself then for the other person in the room anyways. It's with this thought and in a strained voice unusual for this version of himself he continues.
"The worst part though, is that even if they hadn't gone so seemingly mad, I still might have done it. Because if the Time Lords hadn't destroyed reality, the Daleks surely would have, and there was no way to get rid of one without the other. Not completely anyways."
There is a sudden flash of anger in his face as this last sentence is spoken, as he is suddenly reminded of just how untrue that sentence had proven to be. As he thinks of those infernal creatures, both his and his people's most hated enemies, the ones that had even managed to transform the Time Lords into such evil twisted versions of themselves in their effort to fight them, his face contorts into an image Amy had only seen once before, when he had first faced the same creatures he now thinks of in his mind with her. He had so really believed he was ridding the universe of them completely on that day, the day he ended the greatest war the universe had ever known and yet he had somehow found himself battling them so many times since. Ever since his recent encounter with them during the London Blitz he has begun to really believe that despite all his power, he is just simply incapable of wiping them out completely. In this moment of contemplation and frustration he allows himself a moment of personal anger at his fourth persona's failure to stop them forever at the moment of their inception, something that because of his inability to travel back into his own personal timeline he will never have a chance to do again. Before he can further contemplate his past failures though, he realizes that he has been silently musing in his head for over a minute and that his companion is staring at him intently with a very concerned face. With great focus he attempts to continue but suddenly finds himself only able to say one more sentence.
"Don't you see Amy, I had no choice."
The last words come out desperately pleading and the Doctor finds himself regretting them almost immediately. He was clearly asking for some kind of sanction or forgiveness for this sudden new revelation of his that even if the Time Lords had not become such monsters he really might have taken them out just to eliminate the Daleks, something he knows in retrospect didn't even work as planned anyways. He had never let himself really admit the likelihood of that scenario before, but now that it was all said aloud he had no choice but to face it directly once and for all. As the Doctor looks up at the confused face of his companion he is reminded of how ridiculous the concept was, of him, the last Time Lord in existence, asking the poor, clearly confused human girl for forgiveness for the destruction of his people.
An awkward silence fills the Tardis control room for a moment as Amy has no idea what she can possibly say in response to all that has just been said, her usual incessant chatter for once grinded to a halt. The Doctor attempts to regain his composure, taking a moment to straighten out his bow tie. He finds himself feeling relived to have finally come clean to both his companion and more importantly to himself after so long and yet at the same time embarrassed at what has just transpired. Despite his momentary weakness at the end there, the Doctor suddenly feels a sudden rush of calm and inner peace, as if this final confession and revelation was just what he needed to be able to finally lift that hidden burden he had now carried around for three different versions of himself off himself once and for all.
Looking at her Doctor in a way she never has before, Amy can't find anything to say. She is lost inside her head, as she comes to grips with the fact the man she had honestly let herself to believe she had somewhat figured out, is in reality more a stranger to her than ever before. Continuing to feel oddly at peace with himself, but seeing an urgent need to reassure Amy the Doctor begins to smile with his trademark grin to help lighten the mood, but the silence is suddenly broken prematurely by the TARDIS phone springing to life.
Just my timing the Doctor thinks to himself, of course the bloody thing goes off right after I tell her everything. The Doctor starts to find himself amused by the phone's seeming mocking of his wishes but this amusement is cut short when suddenly he realizes the phone is not ringing as it should. Instead of its normal sound he finds himself hearing a familiar pattern coming from speaker, Da Da Da Dum, Da Da Da Dum, Da Da Da Dum. It was the sound of drums, more importantly it was the Master's sound, one he had finally heard for himself the last time he had encountered his oldest enemy and friend. After this last encounter, he had told himself he would not be so foolish as to assume one hundred percent that he would never see that man again. After ten regenerations this Doctor had finally gotten the message that no matter how dead his old enemy appeared to be, to declare him down for the count would almost always be a premature act. Despite this he had never imagined in his wildest dreams the Master might come crashing back into his life so soon after his most recent apparent death.
The Doctor manually stops his brain however before it can go into its usual overdrive analysis of the situation and wills himself to act now and think later. Amy watches in increasing confusion as her Doctor moves quicker and with more purpose then she has ever seen before. She notes the look of panic, fear, and even excitement in his face, as he picks up the receiver. She opens her mouth to ask what's going on, but a quick stern face from the doctor tells her, she needs to remain quite for just a bit longer.
Carefully but quickly he answers the phone, ending the constant sound of drums ringing in the console room. For a moment there is nothing but silence and the Doctor offers up a tentative hello which is soon greeted by a hauntingly familiar voice. The voice has a strange mixture of malice, sarcasm, and excitement all rolled into a simple sentence.
"Miss me yet, my dear old friend?"
Author's Notes:
Next Time: How did the Master escape the the Time Lock? Featuring special guest, River Song!