Disclaimer: Firefly and Serenity do not belong to me, although my heart belongs to them. They belong to Joss Wheadon and the Fox Network. I do not make any profit from my story, but in the rare event that anyone from the casting team finds my story, I want them to know that they're my biggest heroes. Browncoats for life!
Warning: Some things in this story are going to be dark. Others will be gory. There will be references to things like rape, torture, murder, and other dark themes. I won't always be able to warn in each chapter heading, so if you dont like things like that, I would suggest not reading it. Torture and murder will be explained in detail, but rape will not be, dont worry.
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Prologue
Two by two,
Hands of Blue.
You can't run,
They will find you.
It was a poem that every girl in the Blue Sun Academy learned to remember. Every year, new girls would come in, thinking that they were there to learn. The first few months would go by smoothly. They would settle in, make friends amongst themselves, and wonder why the older girls stayed as far away as possible.
River Tam hadn't been any different. She mailed letters to her brother almost every day. She smiled and laughed with the other girls. She took her exams with ease, though less ease than anywhere else. The Academy was meant for the prodigal children, after all.
Two by two. Her professors told her to always listen to the men who travelled in pairs in the academy. River always thought it was rather funny, a girl's school with male wardens and medics and the like. Hands of blue. Nitrile gloves covered the men's hands, and frequency dampeners rested in their ears. That was odd, too, she supposed. She could have explained it away as being overly careful, since they were medical professionals. Her brother did that, once, in med school.
As the weeks passed, the girls became quiet and reclusive. River never got letters from her brother, anymore. The physical and neurological examinations came more and more often. She often didn't remember them. There were more physical classes than when she began. Tests of endurance and reflexes.
There were timeskips in her memory. One moment she was dancing in the courtyard. The next, she was waking up on the examination table. Later, she was getting ready for bed and noticed scars around her hairline that hadnt been there before. This isn't normal.
River began to notice things that she shouldn't have. She noticed the faint scars on her head and body. She noticed the gaps in her memory, and they way her focus now drifted from place to place. She noticed that she no longer had her blood on each month. She noticed that her letters from home never came.
She became scared more than she wanted to admit. She began to write to her brother about things that never happened, hoping that he'd understand. She'd write words out of order, spell things wrong, and hope of a rescue that may never happen.
For two years, she tried to hold onto herself, but she knew that she was losing it. She tried to run, but they always found her. That was when they started to leave her awake for the procedures. The first time, they only played with her brain, taking her skullcap off and cutting into it with a laser scalpel. She stopped being able to hide her fears. She stopped being able to control her screaming.
When they began to deal with her body, they'd even told her that by the end of it, she would never feel pain again. She thought that they would only sever nerves, cut into the skin. She never thought of why they might strap her into a chair she knew would normally be used for birthing. She stopped wondering why they might place her legs into the stirrups. And when they gave her the reprieve of blissful sleep before they began this final procedure, she never wondered why she finally felt pain again when she woke up.
She finally knew why she hadn't bleed. She finally knew why they said they weren't going to hurt her again, for a while. And as the months began to pass, she didnt wonder why she was gaining weight. She didn't wonder at the pity in the older girls' eyes.
In another three years time, when she woke up screaming again, in her private room in the passenger bay of a Firefly, she finally understood why she couldn't bare to see her friends laughing and flirting together. She realised why it hurt her to see Zoe and Wash happy and talking about having a baby together. She realised why she cried when Kaylee treated her like a sister, or Inara treated her like a daughter. She finally understood why she didnt seem to want to comprehend what happened in that whore house, to Petalline.
Which is why she chose to stand in front of Mal, the captain, her mind clear for the first time in years. Why she asked him to call the crew in. She had a job for them. It was time to return to the Earth That Was. Time to return to the Acadamy. "Captain. Zoe. Wash. Shepard. Kaylee. Jayne. Simon. Inara. I want you to help me get my son back."
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AN: I know its short, but its only the prologue. At this time, I want you to hear the theme song in your head. Because this is where it would be. Right here.