Just Give Me Something To Do
"And sometimes I think… That's why I took this job," JJ swallowed hard, looking up to meet Emily's eyes, desperately holding back a sob that was trying to grapple its way along her throat and out of her mouth. "So I would always know what to do. So I would never freeze again."
JJ paused. Her eyes moved briefly to the window and she sniffled, blinking her eyes a few times in a desperate attempt to rid herself of any new tears that threatened to fall. She did her best to compose herself, moving away from the trauma and all-consuming grief she had been left with upon finding her sister in the bathtub. And instead, turned her attention to the person she should be focused on; the unsub. She tried to replace the sadness and misery, those feelings that felt as though they were contorting her mind and body into painful contortions, with anger and hate for the culprit behind her sister's suicide.
The cold, hard, dead feeling of hate.
"So can you, can you give me something to do, Emily, because I am starting to freeze up again."
JJ balled her hands into fists in her lap, turning her eyes to the window again as fresh tears began to blur her vision. The stone lodged in her throat reappeared and it didn't seem to matter how hard or how many times she swallowed, it refused to leave. She had lied to herself, convinced herself that the snap of her fingers she could switch off her emotions and replace the empty space with blind rage. But she knew, deep down, that is just wasn't possible.
Else she would have dealt with these emotions a long time ago.
Panic flickered across Emily's face as she watched fresh tears fill the baby blue's trying desperately to look any where but at her. She could see the anguish and pain written clearly across JJ's face. And those eyes look damaged, truly tortured and agonised. There had been only a handful of times that Emily had seen JJ in such a state. Most usually, it was JJ that comforted her when things became too much and she became overwhelmed with the tsunami of negative emotions cascading over her and blinding her vision.
Emily felt responsible, wanted to help, wanted to soothe the blonde. But at the same time, being witness to the almost tangible pain that seemed to be radiating from the younger woman terrified her. She stuttered for a moment, reaching for the case files on the desk in front of her, hastily trying to find something, anything, to distract JJ from her thoughts.
"Okay," the brunette clutched one of the case files in her hand, unsure where she was going with the file until the words tumbled from her lips. "Uhm…" she opened the case file in her hands, glancing in at the pictures and information contained. "Alright, how about this."
Emily's eyes looked up to JJ's with some resemblance of relief at having found a distraction that could possibly work for the blonde woman. She knew, more than she wanted to, the emotions that came with feeling helpless. She tapped her open hand against the page she had open before talking.
"Luke and Tara are going back to Alle. They are going to use the EMDR technique…" and even though Emily was talking and JJ was nodding her head, being given a possible distraction and a task that could take her mind elsewhere, JJ knew it was the wrong thing. "… effective with schizophrenics." Emily looked at JJ expectantly.
But despite JJ nodding her head only moments ago, the violent storm in her baby blue's seeming to calm some, she shook her head left to right, looking down at the clenched fists in her lap.
"I want to," JJ looked up at Emily. "I want to, but you know that could compromise the relationship that Luke and Tara have built with the victim," the blonde woman shook her head left to right. "My very presence being there could reduce the effectiveness of EMDR."
Emily felt panic bite at the back of her tongue again, leaving a burnt coppery taste along her throat – despite the lack of saliva she felt she had to swallow. She nodded her head, mumbling an unintelligible response. She turned around to look at the case files lying on the table, her hands again moving to separate them and hoping to find something else within the pile.
A hand, still and steady, placed on top of her own stopped her frantic search.
She looked to the right, looking into JJ's eyes.
"I need something to do, Emily." JJ reiterated. "Something I can physically do."
Emily froze, her eyes moving from JJ's to the part-way opened door that lead to the precinct's bullpen, as the nails on the blonde's free hand drew themselves along the expanse of her back. The panic, the fear, was definitely still there for Emily. But now, another sensation joined it, one that stirred low in her abdomen and caused her heart rate to quicken even further.
"Jennifer," Emily spoke, her unsteady voice a mix of apprehension, fright and caution.
Though Emily's eyes didn't move from staring across the top of the table at the door. Neither did her hands move to prevent JJ's from progressing any further as nimble fingers played with the waist of the older woman's black slacks. They dipped below the waist, her fingertips just reaching the elastic waist of the brunette's panties laying against the small of her back.
"Close the door," JJ husked, pulling both of her hands back.
Emily, for a moment, thought about resisting. What was about to occur was not only highly unprofessional, it was probably breaking a law or two as well. But the brunette couldn't help but feel some form of excited anticipation. She could lie and pretend she was better, pretend that the growing tension low in her abdomen didn't exist and that she hadn't known, the moment JJ had told her she needed a distraction, just what kind of distraction the blonde woman might have been thinking about.
Instead, the older woman pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. She pushed herself away from the edge of the table, walking with feigned confidence to the door that lead to the bullpen of the precinct, and very quietly and gently closed the gap. Her hand reached down to the twist lock underneath the handle and turned with ease.
"And the blinds."
Emily felt a shiver crawl up along her spine. She made her way to the first window, pulling the string attachment to bring the blinds down over the glass. Then she moved to the second and the third, glancing briefly through the last one to see if any officers' attention had been drawn towards the room. But no one was looking. She closed the last set of blinds and then turned around to see two searing eyes staring at her over the table.
JJ stood from her perch on the table, a predatory stalk bringing her gradually to where the brunette was stood. Emily felt her mouth once again go dry. Only this time not just out of fear. Any moisture that was inside of her mouth had travelled elsewhere to take care of a much more urgent matter.
Emily knew that her lips were parted as JJ stood in front her. She could feel the warm air as she exhaled on her lower lip and the cold air as she drew it back in. Her chest was rising and falling noticeably quicker than usual, her dark eyes now completely enthralled by watching the blonde woman. Emily should have known, the moment that JJ told her she needed something to do, that whatever the younger woman wished from her, she was already willing to give.
Debating whether to close and lock the door as JJ had told her to only moments ago, seemed a million miles away now.
JJ's hands fingered the hem of Emily's shirt, before sliding upwards over smooth skin. She reached the material of the brunette's bra beneath and slid her hands over the cups. Both hands squeezed firmly, making sure the hard nipples laying beneath each cup received a firm pinch. Emily gasped, her eyes momentarily fluttering shut.
The younger woman wished, more than ever, that Emily had worn a button down shirt. Something she could open to reveal the porcelain skin and the bra beneath. But in a relational thought, was grateful Emily hadn't. JJ knew she'd have been far too tempted to unbutton the shirt and then likely, having the material open in front of her, remove it completely. She knew taking off the shirt the brunette was currently wearing wouldn't be as an easy item to pull back on. If ever there was a chance of them being caught in a compromising position, it would be of benefit to have something that could be quickly pulled on.
Or to be wearing an item that swayed JJ from removing it in any way at all.
JJ gave a second, firmer squeeze before sliding her hands down the length of Emily's abdomen. They met the belt buckle resting above her hips. The blonde's nimble fingers worked the buckle, pulling the latch resting behind the leather, and tugging gently. Emily's hands seemed to flinch, thinking about preventing JJ's from moving any further, and then rested by her sides again, deciding against it.
JJ used her grip of the brunette's belt to pull Emily closer to her, bringing their bodies together.
"I won't take it off," the blonde promised, reassuring Emily about the worry of possibly getting caught.
But the fear in Emily's wide eyes seemed very real and very loud.
"We don't ha-."
"No," Emily interrupted quickly. She opened her mouth and then closed it again, speaking more softly. "No," her head shook left to right. "I want you," brown eyes locked on to blue's. "I need you." The brunette licked her bottom lip. "I trust you."
Something inside JJ moved. Perhaps she hadn't realised she need to hear those last three words. But if the past few hours had reinforced anything, it was that she had stopped trusting herself. The moment the case at hand had begun to have a such a devastating effect on her, she realised that she had lost her trust in her own ability. That's why she had this job. She was good at it. It was something she had the confidence and trust in her own abilities to follow through with.
JJ would never freeze on the job. Somewhere she knew that. But she had underestimated the intensity of the memories that would come flooding back once the case began to link to her sister's suicide. They had gradually chipped away at what she thought was an impenetrable shield in her abilities as a profiler.
Just the reassurance that another had trust in her.
JJ felt tears prick at the edges of her eyes.
The younger woman's hands moved from the buckle, releasing the white knuckled grip she hadn't realised she'd had of the item, and moved them to grip either side of the brunette's face. She brought Emily's lips to her own, her hands fisting the older woman's hair before letting go again. The kiss was frantic. Bruised lips and clashing teeth and an intense yearning for more.
"Lean on the edge of the table," JJ told, one hand moving to gently cup the brunette through her slacks, a reminder that she'd be rewarded more quickly if she followed the blonde's orders.
Emily groaned, even just the firm touch of the blonde's hand cupping the space between her legs sending an intense shiver along the length of her spine. She knew just what JJ's fingers would find when they inevitably worked their way beneath her slacks and panties. She had only a moment to think about how wet she already knew she was, a long enough moment to cause a blush to creep along the column of her throat and spread across her cheeks, before JJ gave a firm push.
"Edge of the table."
Emily moved quickly, leaning back against the edge of the table. The extremity of the time restraints, the real threat of being caught by a member of the precinct, had the brunette's heart thudding hard against her rib cage. She could feel the intense pounding of her heart in every major artery, almost felt as though she was rocking with each beat. Her hands moved down to the button of her slacks that had been resting behind the belt and moved to have it undone.
And then JJ was in front of her, moving her hands away and replacing them with her own.
"You're going to have to cum quickly for me," JJ said firmly as her right hand slipped beneath the waist of Emily's slacks and panties.
Emily sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and simply nodded her head. Usually, any added pressure of a time constraint caused a lot of tension and often had a detrimental affect on her ability to allow herself to relax into the moment. But she knew, from the excitement and arousal provoked from their current situation, the mixture of exhilarating fear and the disobedience of engaging in a sexual act whilst on official duty, that she would find an embarrassingly quick release. Her thoughts were strengthened by the shock of pleasure Emily felt as soon as the blonde's nimble fingers brushed against her clit.
Before JJ's fingers had even managed to part the brunette's lower lips, swollen in neglect, she could feel how wet the brunette had grown. She cursed under her breath, her fingers starting an easy exploration of the space between the older woman's legs. But she knew, from the difficult angle of her wrist and the twinge she felt as her fingertips pressed firmly against Emily's swollen bud, that their current position didn't allow for much flexibility.
JJ pulled her hand out, speaking quickly to address the shock on Emily's face.
"Turn around and brace your hands on the table."
Emily's legs looked visibly unsteady as she turned herself around and splayed her hands securely on the cool surface of the table. JJ used her hands to pull the brunette's hips back against her, grinding gently as Emily's hips came flush with her own, and then slid her hand around to Emily's front. Her hand wasted no time in slipping back inside of the brunette's panties.
And as Emily felt those all-too familiar slender fingers press against her clit, the restriction of movement only seemed to heighten the arousal from the entire situation. She could feel JJ's fingertips sliding down, gathering wetness, stroking back up over her clit. The same rhythmic pattern, over and over and over. Constant, unwavering attention to the nub throbbing between her legs. Emily could now feel the pulsating of her heartbeat against JJ's fingers.
Emily felt her shirt begin to stick against her back, had a moment or two to consider that she hadn't brought deodorant with her and that the amount of perspiration likely to build beneath her arms might be a giveaway that herself and JJ weren't just talking in the locked briefing room. But then the tip of JJ's index finger pressed against the sensitive flesh just beneath the hood of her clit. She moaned out loud and then bit down hard on her bottom lip.
"Fuck," Emily cursed.
JJ ushered a small sound to entice Emily to remain quiet.
"Relax."
And as much as Emily wanted to, she doubted that this was a situation she could force herself to relax in. But she didn't feel that was inhibiting any pleasure. If anything, the tension, the burning in her shoulders and legs especially, seemed to be adding something to the overall carnality. The feeling of her muscles craving, needing, more oxygen, seemed to aid the coiling low in her abdomen to become more intense, working steadily towards an ultimate climate.
JJ could feel the brunette's muscles almost rippling against her. The older woman's body, her back still almost flush against the younger woman's, seemed to be almost trembling. The lack of sounds from Emily, aside from the harsh pulling of air through her teeth and a few hushed curses and muffled groans, told JJ that the quivering felt in Emily's muscles was not only tension brought about by the situation that both were in, but also the willpower Emily was conjuring to remain as still and as quiet as possible.
Emily's movements also told JJ that the older woman was likely very close.
JJ did her best to manoeuvre her hand between the brunette's legs, allowing herself a more firm hold and some extra room to rotate her wrist. She worked her index and middle finger between the brunette's lower lips and rolled Emily's clit.
A stifled moan escaped Emily's throat and her head fell forward, a curtain of shoulder-length raven locks falling over her face.
"Jennifer," Emily husked.
"Yes," JJ responded, in response or in question she wasn't sure.
But it didn't matter. As JJ rolled the brunette's throbbing clit between her fingers again, she heard Emily's breath catch in her throat. There was a small shudder, followed by a much more violent tremor, and then Emily was collapsing forward onto the table. Her thighs trapped the blonde's hand between them and the older woman struggled to keep the importance of keeping sounds to a minimum at the forefront of her mind.
JJ waited, her hand gently gliding across the length of Emily's back. She was shocked at the burning heat she felt scorching through the material of the older woman's shirt, but didn't let that falter her soothing motion. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, to reassure the brunette, there came a firm knock at the door.
Emily turned her face towards JJ, her eyes wide and alert in panic. She was still almost panting, her chest rising and falling rapidly in a bid to increase the amount of oxygen reaching her lungs.
"It's okay," JJ said. "It's okay," she repeated, even as fear began to creep along her spine. "Just take a seat," the blonde pulled out a chair that was tucked under the table next to them. "I'll sort it," she promised.
JJ waited until Emily was situated in the chair and slid a case file open in front her just for safe measure, before turning to the door. She turned the lock softly and opened the door about halfway, standing confidently to face the officer outside. The door wasn't wide enough to show case the entire room, but wasn't slim enough to look as though she was excluding the officer from inside.
"Is everything alright?" JJ asked sincerely.
"Sure thing," the officer replied promptly. "Just wondered if you'd like some fresh coffee. Just put a pot on," the officer's hands moved to rest on his belt as he tilted his head back to the small kitchenette in the bullpen.
"Actually, that'd be great," JJ smiled, her voice light. "Both white, no sugar, if that's okay."
"Perfect, ma'am." The officer's eyes peered over JJ's shoulder for a short moment, likely taking in the slightly dishevelled state of the brunette's hair – even from behind, it was noticeable. "Is Agent Prentiss over there alright, ma'am?"
"Difficult case," JJ assured confidently, even as she felt a blush creeping above the collar of her shirt; the irony of her comment wasn't amiss to the blonde.
The officer tipped his head in recognition and took a step back, gesturing his thumb over his shoulder.
"I'll get you those coffees pronto, ma'am."