Ciao~! I'm back from the dead! Lol, I mean from my very long hiatus. Oh well, here I am now with my very first hetalia fanfiction! And its Spamano! Okay hohoho. Anyway, please go easy on me!
Disclaimer: Uh, do I really have to remind you guys that I don't own Hetalia or some shit? Well.
Allistor Kirkland = Scotland
*Nonno - Grandfather/Granddad
Everything you see that glitters, isn't always gold.
Everything you think is perfect, isn't always so.
Many times, many times I would've let my feelings show.
Everything you see that glitters, isn't always gold.
You know I'm just human, human, human after all.
-Human (Cher Lloyd)
I can't even remember how this fight started. Maybe its all bout Antonio fucking ranting on how cute and adorable Feliciano is.
'Why did I even fell in love with you? I had enough of your cruelty! You are lazy, mean. You can't even do anything right. All you do is mess up everything!' Antonio yelled at me. His eyes are burning with rage.
'Are you trying to tell me something here?!' I yelled back. I can't take this anymore. All of them prefered my brother. Sweet, adorable Feliciano. I was always the mean brother. All I do is swear and complain about everything. Everyone hated me. My brother, My nonno. Heck, even I hate myself. I hate myself for being such an ass, for being a failure, for letting the other people's opinion get to me.
'Yeah! I'm done pretending that I am happy with you because I'm not! I'm done pretending that I love you!' I had open my mouth to interrupt but he must have seen it coming because he raised his voice even more and he took off the ring I gave him on our anniversary and threw it on the floor. I started shaking with anger. None of them can appreciate how hard I tried to change myself.
I just stood there, not saying anything. I'm just so tired. I thought that maybe if I do shut up, he would too but he just continued.
'I regret every moment I spent chasing after you instead of Feliciano!' Antonio shouted. 'He's obviously so much better, unlike you! Now I can see why everyone preferred him over you! You are nothing but a piece of trash! I wish you could just disappear, Lovino! Thank you so much for making my life a living hell! I so totally enjoyed it!' I froze and my eyes widened. All these time, he knew about my inferiority complex. I told him and I hoped that he could help me. But no, instead he took it and slam it back on my face tenfold.
I laughed. Yeah, I fucking laughed until I started sobbing. 'You wish I could just disappear?! Yeah, sure! I'll do you all a fucking favor and never show my face to any of you again!' Antonio clasped his hand over his mouth. 'L-lovi, sorry I didn't mean to–'
'Shut up! Just shut up, Antonio!' And he did. 'Don't lie to my face anymore.' And we just stood there silently.
'I tried so hard, you know. I really did, I tried being a better person. For my brother, for my nonno... And for you. But all of you saw nothing of that. No one saw how hard I tried to be worthy of everyone! All you guys see is my brother! How Feliciano perfectly did this, how Feliciano fucking never mess up like his brother!' Antonio only looked guiltly at the floor. 'All of you fucking saw nothing but my mistakes! Why can't you be more like Feliciano this and that. I've fucking reached my limit Antonio. Every single one of you finally send me to edge!' I was crying at that point. Clenching and unclenching my fists as I let out my feelings. I don't care anymore.
'I'm just a human. If I can't do it, you can't force me to. I'm not Feliciano's clone, I AM HIS BROTHER. But none of you could understand that. So I'll do you all a favor and leave. If this is what makes you happy, then I'll leave you all guys alone forever.' And with that, I also took off the ring and placed it on the coffee table before I walked out of the goddamned house. I could hear Antonio pleading me to come back but I just ignored him. I'm so done.
And that's what happened last night that led me into who know's room. My head fucking hurt like hell. I went into a bar last night to get myself wasted and forget everything what happened. Fuck, I knew I drank too much last night but why can I still remember about the fight? And moreover I am in someone else's house with a familiar ache on my backside. Shit, aside from the fight I had with Antonio, I can't fucking remember what I did after that.
"So you're awake." Fucking hell, no. I'm still sleeping. I looked up to see who's the lucky guy I've slept with. Hazel eyes locked with Forest green ones. I sat up straighter on the bed. 'Uh, who are you again?' I asked shyly. What the fuck, Lovino? Shy? Seriously?
"Allistor. Allistor Kirkland, and no need to tell me yours. You already told me last night." I blushed. Yeah, fucking blushed. The red head was wearing nothing but a light washed jeans and a cup of coffee on his right hand. Gosh, those abs. I blushed even more. Wait, did he just said Kirkland? "Are you perhaps ummm.. Related to Arthur Kirkland?"
He looked at me oddly. Well, who wouldn't? "Yeah. He's my lil bro." Fuck. Oh fuck. I mean, yes! No seriously, fuck my life. Arthur Kirkland is one of my friends, and I only have two friends. Matthew Williams is the other one. Okay, back to the topic. Arthur is my best friend in fact. Why can he tolerate my total shitty ass attitude, you say? Well, because he is also one! Not as bad as me but still is one! Anyway, he is my best friend and I don't want to ruin our friendship just because I slept with his brother.
Fuck my life. Oh wait, its already fucked up.
Apparently, Mr. Red head Kirkland who totally got some hot abs noticed my odd behaviour aka silence and decided to break the tension. "Why? Did you know my brother?" He asked me.
"Yeah, well... He's my bestfriend. And I don't want to ruin our friendship just because I slept with his brother." I answered. Why am I opening up with this guy? Well, he has a strange comforting vibe around him. But still! Okay Lovino, calm yourself. If he's my bestfriend's brother, he could be trusted right? RIGHT?! "Why would he get mad at you? He already knew that we had sex last night." What?! What the fuck man?!
"What?! You told him?!"
"Yeah well.. Apparently he heard us last night. But I guess its just you because you were loud last night." I blushed. How dare he! Fuck, I can't remember that. "Oh... Umm, did he say something?" I asked nervously.
He put down his empty coffee mug on the bedside table and sat beside me. "He said that I should take responsibility." I gave him my infamous are-you-kidding-me look. "Take responsibility for what? I'm not a woman yanno. I won't get pregnant."
"I know."
"Then what the fuck is he talking about?" I almost yelled, if not for my fucking hangover. "He told me about your inferiority complex. About how you are neglected by everyone and well... He said that you need someone. And honestly wanted to help you."
What? Fucking bastard told him about my fucking issues and everything just because I had a one night stand with his brother?! Fucking fuckity shit! "I don't need your fucking pity! I'm not some unstable person that needs to be helped! I'm totally fucking fine by myself!" I yelled, hangover completely forgotten. Tears threating to fall again.
"I'm not. And I know, you aren't some unstable person that needs to be taken care of. You are strong." He gently wiped my tears with his thumb but me being the usual bastard me slapped his hand away.
"Stop acting like you know me because you don't! All we had is a one night stand, nothing more! So stop acting like you care!" I stood up, ignoring the pain on my back side and started dressing up. I grabbed my keys on the bedside table.
"Tell Arthur that I'm fine and.. I'll talk to him later." With that, I left. And shit, where the hell am I gonna stay now? I still need to get my stuffs and all but I don't want to see Antonio right now. Not after all the things that he said to me last night.
I chuckled and loosened the scarf around my neck a bit. "Taking responsibility huh... Such a big word. We just had sex, nothing more." I sighed and just continued to walk home.
This is going to be a long day.
This is my very first Hetalia fanfiction so please be easy on me! How was it? As you could notice, the pace of this story's chapter one is a lil bit uh... fast. But don't worry! That's the plan!
I wanna eat some Churros xD. R&R guys!