I don't own Overlord, so please don't sue me so close to Christmas.

Rude Awakening

Somedays I wonder if I was a terrible person in a past life, scratch that, I wonder that a LOT of the time. My entire body itched, I smelled like outside, and I was hungry enough to eat a horse (A literal horse, I'd close my eyes and imagine steak if I had to, social customs be damned). As I walked through the foliage trying to not get slapped by the branches I had to pull away from my face, I tried to think happy thoughts.

'You've still got your health.' I chuckled to myself, wondering if it was a curse that the ridiculous amounts of junk I ate hadn't mercifully killed me yet. No, it was almost like I had to die some kind of painful death, which brought everything full circle back to my divine punishment. I'm not sure exactly how I ended up in the woods, or why whatever had been eating the dead animal corpses near me didn't consume me as well, but basics in nature state that dead bodies bring parasites. I just didn't expect them to be so damn big, luckily I woke up in time to see what had to be some horrible amalgamation between a flying maggot and a botfly injecting large lumps of, something, into the carcass of a deer a few feet away. Now I had enough common sense to know not to stick around and risk being a human incubator, but it didn't do me much good when I was lost and clearly not in a world I was accustomed with. That much I was certain of, I had been picked up and dropped off like an unwanted step child. I felt like a hangover had a hangover, and then it came over and used my brain as a punching bag.

I ran a hand through my rough, nappy hair. 'Wherever I'm heading I hope they have combs.' Aside from my rough appearance I did seem to still be in good physical condition, though I wasn't surprised. It was always the same, same age, same body, same general location in a forest near a town. Trying to remember details before the forest was near impossible though some dregs of a memory did find a way to slip through the cracks. I remembered a big purple man, orange jumpsuits that made my head hurt, idiots fighting over headbands….. King Arthur? No that wasn't right, or was it? What would help me was this lance I carried, when I realized I had it in my possession I gave a small thanks to whoever or whatever may be listening for giving me a way to hunt or defend myself. After walking a bit more ways, a clearing was finally present, allowing the sun to fully embrace me in it's warmth. Only one sight was better than the sun shining overhead, and that was the grand city of stone and brick that stood before me, it was then that it finally hit me.

'Shit I'm in the dark ages, pleeeaasse let this world have toilet paper.'

Approaching the gates to the walled city, I was met by two guards, both giving me a once over.

"Are you a beggar or something?" One asked, he had red hair and looked to be in his mid twenties, a bit on the small side.

"Look at that spear, he's no beggar. Those aren't adventurer clothes though, who'd you steal that from?" The other was a giant of a man who hid a majority of himself, face included, by heavily plated armor.

I took the lance from it's holdings on my back, it was the first time I myself had gotten a proper look at it so I didn't mind giving them a peak as well. The pole was made from a vibrant, strong red wood, with the section that my hand rested on having a gold plating over it. 5 Gems adorned the bottom of it, and a red cloth was tied right below the blade, which itself was comprised of three daggers spread across like playing cards. Fighting the guards was obviously out of the question considering my need for supplies…. I guess I can play nice, plus the whole first impressions thing.

'They talked about adventurers,and this is quite an old school kind of city, I can pull something out of my butt.'

"I doubt you would have heard of me, my name is Dalvir Mynthist, this is my trusty lance Solace. I prefer to stay away from attention and as such spend most of my time in isolation, my appearance is the byproduct of my minimalist lifestyle as I believe that if one is mentally and spiritually fulfilled, the physical is close to comical. Though food is physical, which is why I am here today." I watched as the two guards took in my appearance once more while I tried my best to look humbly heroic. After a few more seconds of awkward silence, they let me pass.

I gave them a nod of thanks, "Oh, by the way could you point me in the direction of an inn." They directed me down a street to my left. "Much appreciated gentlemen."

With that I was on my way, making sure to take in the scenery along my way. People walked along the cobblestone streets, and all of the buildings showed the handiwork of hard working men and women, it was….quaint.

'Money!' The thought hadn't crossed my mind until now, but my pockets felt notably empty, emptier than my stomach. There was a golden pendant around my neck with a jewel that looked pretty valuable, but it literally would not budge off my neck. While I was making my way along, digging through any openings in my slacks and wool shirt, I ran face first into a wall of iron.

"Are you all right?" A knight clad in black armor stood over me, a beautiful young woman at his side.

"Oh yeah, I just wasn't looking where I was walking. Hey do you know what a fresh city face can do to make a little scratch in this town? Hopefully some work that pays up front so I won't have to boil my shoes for lunch." I laughed, scratching the back of my head sheepishly.

The black knight pulled out a small bag, and from it pulled out 15 pieces of what appeared to be bronze, and 5 of silver. "Here this should be enough to get you a room and something to eat. Say, that's a fine looking weapon you have there, do you mind me asking where you acquired it?"

"Wow, thank you really, Dalvir Mynthist is in your debt, and I always repay what I owe. As for Solace, I pulled it from a rather reluctant undead corpse." I decided to use something recent, this time being the undead attack mentioned by the guards, as my excuse.

"I see." I was started to feel uncomfortable, the way he studied me was different than the guards, it was like he was inspecting something for its value, and his female companion was even worse. Now I have felt a woman's scorn before, but the way she looked at me, like the way one looks at an any that walks across their path, it unnerved me and left me slightly offended. "I am Momon, and this is Nabe, consider nothing of the coin. If you need work, the adventurer's guild can always have need for you if you know how to use that weapon. You'll need 5 silver and 5 copper to get in."

I bowed in respect at his hospitality and went on my way, but I swear I could still feel his gaze on me as I left. The first thing on my list was food so I stopped at the first vendor that sold meat and bought a couple piece of dried meat, after that I spent the rest of the copper I was given on new clothes. No it wasn't what Momon had given it to me for, but if I was to make a living as an adventurer I would have to look the part, so I bought what looked like the best looking leather chest armor I could find that was in my budget, then I bought leather shorts to match. Of course my outfit looked like I spent 8 bronze pieces on it, but I had my spear to make up for what my armor lacked in flash. Next on my list was this adventurer's guild I was told about, they started me out as a bronze, which I guessed made sense, no reason to let newbies go out and get themselves killed trying to tackle tasks to big. Apparently adventurers were people who took on dangerous jobs unfit for normal people, most of which implied some form of threat from monsters.

'Like that winged monstrosity I saw when I woke up.' I thought as I stood in front of the clerk to the guild.

"So would you like to sign up for something? A large group of adventurers usually go out and kill any monsters that come out from the treeline just beyond the city walls." She explained after the results of my literacy test came back positive and I paid the entry fee. To think they made you pay to make money, the nerve of these people.

It didn't seem like I had much choice, though that changed very quickly.

"Hey! Hey you with the fancy spear, over here!" I turned to see where the voice came from, it came from a table across the room where four people were seated. As I walked over to them, I could make out 3 women and a man, and from their gear and platinum dog tags, they must've been at the very least competent adventurers .

I finally made it to the table, where one of them, a blonde woman, motioned for me to sit down. I took up a chair at the table and introduced myself to the group. "Hi I'm-"

"We heard you when you were talking to the clerk, your voice travels." The blonde sitting across from me interjected, making me instantly curse my baritones. "My name is Olivia."

"...and I'm Edelfet, please just call me Ed." I looked to the man sitting next to Olivia, he was a tall guy, blond hair, his blue eyes looked on lazily to his teammate to my right.

She was a redhead, way shorter than everyone else, though she definitely had to be the group warrior if he had to guess. Her green eyes were like steel and never wavered. "Regina, and that's Breine." Breine sat to my left, she had grey hair that matched her eyes. Long robe, book stacks, big hat, she must be their mage.

Olivia leaned forward, "So, we overheard you looking for work, and while you might be a bronze rank, that spear and necklace are way above that level."

"So what are you, freelance? Why the lack of armor?" Ed asked, Olivia shot him a glare as he nudged her over so he could lean in as well.

"Personally, we think you are a bronze rank and you found or stole those things." Regina said , pointing between her and Breine who nodded in agreement.

'Well they're pretty sharp, best try to keep things as simple as possible, misdirection.'

"I earned this weapon, it is as much a part of me as my arm, and this jewel as my heart. Speaking of which, how did you even spot it from way over there?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as I waited to see if they would take the bait.

Ed sat back in his seat again, crossing his arms. "Oh? Then why the crappy armor if you're such a talented lancer?"

'Time to reel them in.'

I poked my thumb into my chest and gave them a smile showing all my pearly whites. "Because Edelfet, I don't require it."

He pinched the bridge of his nose, probably trying to get that vein on his forehead under control. "I said call me Ed."

"How about this, I'll call you Ed if you let me know why you called me over here." My patience was wearing thin, time was money and these guy had both to spare, I didn't.

"Fine, but you better be as good as your equipment says you are." He pointed a finger at me, I thought about keeping it as a warning for any who would do such a rude thing. Either that or make him eat it, either would be entertaining enough.

"We've discovered some ruins northeast of here, just past Carne Village." Regina added in.

I laced my fingers together, "Ah yes Carne Village, a fine….village. I've only been there once a long ago though, shame."

'Man I gotta work on this lying thing. Fake it til you make it as they say.'

"Good your familiar with the location, then you're perfect. See Ed here for all his talk is an Archer, he had a talent that allows him to hit anything in his eyesight." Olivia punched the blonde on the shoulder, earning her a glare from him.

"Which doesn't help much in dark, cramped ruins." It made sense, Ed would be a liability.

Olivia nodded at my answer, "That's right, so we could use someone like you that can control distance and along Ed to work his magic. While Regina is a fine warrior, she is at her best in the midst of the battle, not crowd control. Breine and myself are magic users, so you being with us will benefit us as well. I know it's not the most preferable group combination but we are platinum rank for a reason so don't underestimate us, plus the payout could be amazing." The entire group nodded in agreement at her diagnosis.

"You've got yourself a deal." I wasn't about to pass up this opportunity, I'm surprised their didn't see the dollar signs in my eyes.

"Really? Like that?" Breine asked, she looked really skeptical of my decision making, smart woman.

I shrugged my shoulders, "I'm in need of cash, plain and simple. I actually am in the market for good armor to match my weapons." As I said the words they actually made sense, that should be something I should do, I have to look the part of course. Ed opened his mouth to say something, but I shot him a 'say something and see how fast a dropkick can make it over a table' look and he immediately snapped it shut. His female companions all roared in laughter over the shutdown of their teammate. The group had decided to leave out that night, to which I didn't complain considering I spent the money I was supposed to use for a room. While they went back to their homes to prepare, I stayed at the guild, people watching and eating the rest of my dried beef. It was wise to pick up on the general knowledge of this world if I'm going to be travelling with these guys, I can imagine how I would react if I met someone who didn't even know what planet they are on.

'So this is E-Rantel huh?' I overheard enough to hear about the different territories overseen by warring factions like the Baharuth and Slane Theocracy. I learned about the 'Golden Princess' and more about the hero called Momon that I'd ran into earlier. It sounded like both of them came straight out of a fairy tale, a beautiful princess who loves her people absolutely and a hero knight who comes to save the day was a bit too far fetched for me. Something worried me though, it was like my memory was a jumbled puzzle piece, but as the pieces fell back into place it's not the picture I thought it would be. I began to know about the Re-Estize Kingdom, golbins, Tier Magic….. What the hell was Tier Magic? Oh yeah, organized magic introduced by the Six Great Gods, then made popular by the Eight Greed Kings, but why did I know that? I'd much rather know how I got here, because something just didn't feel right about me, my existence just felt...unnatural. Eventually my party returned, now fully packed and looking equipped for whatever the ruin may throw at them. Apparently they rented a horse and wagon, which made me confident that the rewards from the raid would be incredibly profitable.

"Where's your stuff?" Breine asked, looking perplexed at my lack of equipment and rations.

I raised my head from where I was laying in the back of the wagon, "I'm a minimalist, I live off the land."

Ed and Olivia chuckled from the the front of the wagon, the woman spoke up, "Well we are a bit more modern than you're probably used to, so forgive us if we don't hunt for our food."

I laid back down, a smile on my face. "I think I can adapt. Hey, if you don't mind me asking, aren't you supposed to report any new ruins before you can act upon what treasures it might have?" These new memories were really starting to come in handy.

Regina spoke up, she looked like she had been chomping at the bit to add into the conversation for awhile now. "The size of the ruin makes it almost impossible to clear it out with just our group, so we figured why not go in, take as much as we can, then come back with a bigger group for a little double dipping." The redhead's tone of voice made me think the redhead may have more interest in the money involved than even I. In fact, they all had the same look in their eyes, and from the armor they wore and quality of weapons it didn't seem like they were hurting for money.

'So the rich are getting richer huh?'

I smiled at Regina, "I can respect someone who doesn't know satisfaction, complacency is a dangerous thing."

"The man speaks facts." Ed said from the front.

I closed my eyes and decided it best if I rest for awhile before the raid, especially considering I hadn't slept since waking up in the forest. While I had been purely running off charm and bullshit in the beginning, by the time the wagon had lulled me to sleep, I could feel the muscle memory of wielding my spear ingrained in my mind. I was confident that if anything came along, I could handle myself, and besides, there were 5 of us and these guys were professionals. When next I woke I was being nudged by Regina, as I opened my eyes I was blessed with the sight of her impressive endowment.

'A fine warrior and an even finer woman? I might be in love.'

"Rise and shine sleeping beauty." She handed me a loaf of bread and some sliced meat that I took appreciatively. I scarfed both items down in short order as the redhead looked on in mild amusement. "You know it's normally proper to chew your food?"

I dismissed her statement with a wave of my hand, "Chewing is overrated." She chuckled at my response before hopping out of the wagon. It was then that I realized that the wagon was empty, and it wasn't moving. Moving the covering away, I was greeted by the sun's grace shining on my face. We were in a wide open plain with large rolling hills, the grass felt soft under my feet and the breeze smelled of summer. I took a moment to soak in the beauty of the landscape, which was ruined by the large tomb that sat just beyond the hill I stood on. Large pillars held up slabs of stone that stretched out to form two circles around the building, with a long stone walkway inviting us right to the front door.

I felt a strong slap on my back, Olivia was standing at my side with Ed on my other, "You ready for this?"

"Of course."

The air of skepticism was gone from the group, which ironically enough cause me to become worried about just how easily they trusted me, they just seemed a bit too confident. As we approached the tomb, it was me and Regina who led the group, with Olivia and Breina behind us and Ed bringing up the rear. Their strategy was sound enough, using magic and archery they would pin down large groups of enemies long enough for Regina and I to kill the stragglers. They seemed to not be worried about anything smaller than a large group since we were only peaking the initial room when we entered. As large as the area was around the building, I couldn't see any sign of hostility, and any tomb this big had to belong to somebody important who probably didn't want people snooping around in their stuff. Yet the area still remained quiet besides the sound of our footsteps underneath us, all of us stayed quiet to be better prepared to anticipate an ambush and receive commands from Ed. As we got closer I could begin to make out 5 figures that stood at the top of the steps to the tomb, they looked like….maids? No, they dressed like maids, but the battle armor and incredible aura of power and confidence they exuded told me they were adept at more than household cleanliness. Regina stopped for a second, but when she saw that I did not stop, she continued on her pace. Ed still hadn't given any orders so I could only assume he had the same though I was having.

'They're right in front of us, if we turned our back to them I doubt any of us would escape alive. We have no idea what they're capable of, and last thing I need is a sword in my back while one of these women takes my lance as a souvenir.'

We stopped 10 meters away from the group of maids, at closer inspection I wouldn't blame any man for getting a nose bleed. Three of them looked absolutely stunning, to the point where I honestly wanted to have a conversation more than a fight. The woman in the middle stepped forward, she was a black haired beauty, with porcelain skin and a look behind her glasses that sent chills down my spine.

"Rejoice, you have been chosen to participate in an experiment for the glory of the Great Tomb of Nazarick. Such an honor shouldn't even be allowed for filth such as yourself, but my lord had deemed it so and I will obey." With a clap of her hands, a legion of undead warriors arose from the ground behind them. "Kill them. Let us see if this will be effective against future thieving scum."

The undead began to close in, Regina and I looked at the legion then back to maids, the group of women didn't even budge. We had little choice, Ed wasn't fit to deal with the undead who were armed for close quarters combat. As Ed launched volley after volley of arrows at them, they merely kept marching forward unfazed, Regina started to sweat next to me and I could hear the sound of my heart thumping in my ears. The redhead let out a strong battle cry as she charged forward with me hot on her trail as Breine and Olivia aided Ed with Twin Magic, creating magical swords that had the same effect as Ed's arrows. As I approached my first target i thrust my lance forward, skewering the skeleton with vigor as it crumbled to the ground. I didn't notice one of the gems glow as I struck the undead, nor the aura that surrounded me as I moved through the group of enemies, all I could feel was the building bloodlust and excitement of battle. I slashed and stabbed wildly, spinning the spear around with ease and grace, cutting down three nearby foes who caught the end of my blades. With every skeleton I destroyed, the faster my thoughts and movements became, rolling out of the way of an incoming slash across my body, I stood up and thrust my spear with speed and precision enough to strike down 5 in a single flurry. Sweat poured down my face and my muscles began to ache but I was still able to move. Looking around I realized that all of the legion had been defeated, and in my dismay I saw that my group had sustained heavy damage, I was so caught up in fighting that I had forgotten to protect my comrades. While the enemies were defeated, they had left Olivia unconscious, Ed with one hand, and Breina and Regina standing with multiple wounds across their respective bodies.

'It had all been such a blur' I thought as I ran to their side, 'how did I get so carried away? Idiot!'

Before I could make it to my comrades however, I was intercepted by one of the maids. This diminutive redhead came at me with blades claws, almost reminding me of the form of a praying mantis. I dodged out of the way of her thrust, when we settled to our feet I was again blindsided by another maid. The buxom blonde was fast and agile, and in conjunction with the other maid producing large spiders, I knew that if I didn''t act quickly I would be overrun in minutes if not seconds. I blocked a knife she threw at me, as it bounced off my lance I could feel a splash of liquid on my face, which I quickly rubbed off when it started to burn.

"Poison." I hissed.

I had to act now, the blonde rushed in once more but this time I swung my spear around in a semi circle so she would have no choice but to duck. She did neither, instead moving forward and letting the blade make contact with her cheek. Her eyes widened in horror as it made contact though, a far cry from the smug smile she was sporting moments ago, my blade left a light gash on her that she immediately grabbed at in shock. I didn't wait to see what she would do next, I spun around into her body until I was resting just beneath her head with my spear ready to run her through.

"That's enough." My vision left me and my mind went blank, it was like I had been put to sleep in an instant.

When I awoke again I was looking at my own reflection in a marble floor. It was the first time I had gotten a look at my features, and I was surprised at how mundane I looked. Brown skin, black hair, brown eyes, no recognizable scars or blemishes, very good complexion but just nothing entirely distinguishable.

"If you are done admiring yourself worm, stand." A voice snided behind me, and with a will that was not my own I stood dazed and confused. In front of me stood a skeleton, a very large skeleton that sat atop a throne. Said undead being looked down on me, his lack of eyes didn't stop him from giving the impression of a lion circling its prey, gaze intent on the next move.

"Dalvir I presume." His voice boomed, reverberating off of every surface with commanding authority. "I believe this is twice that I have helped you, quite a debt you are racking up. You didn't think that these adventurers added you to their raid on accident did you? It was by my recommendation that they add you."

What he said didn't make sense to me, though looking behind me I finally understood the situation I was in. My team was in a heap behind me, they looked as worse as last time I saw them, though now Ed had passed out from the blood loss while Regina and Briene looked like nothing more than shadows of their former selves, living but only within their minds as they stared blankly at the floor. Next to them stood…...that woman. She was the one I saw with Momon while in E-Rantel, and if she was here, than that meant that….

"Momon." I said softly, not loud enough for others to hear.

The undead roared in laughter, "I see by the look on your face that you're starting to piece things together. I am the master of the Great Tomb of Nazarick, the Supreme One, king of all living and dead, Ainz Ooal Gown."

That was all I needed to hear, I dropped to my hands and knees, pressing my forehead into the ground. "My apologies for not bowing to you sooner my lord, please if you would graciously overlook my gross disrespect to you, your title, and your establishment." I knew enough about royalty to know to grovel when they had you by the balls.

Ainz raised a bony hand to me, "Say nothing more of it. I initially intended to kill all of you and retrieve the spear and amulet you carry, but the amulet seems to be a one-use item that will be destroyed upon removal."

It was at that moment that I realized that I was missing something. I gulped, trying my best not to sweat, "...and my lance?"

He raised his hand and circled it in the air, with that the woman at his side reached behind the throne and revealed Solace, holding it with a mild look of disgust on her face. Even with that look, I had to admit that she was almost impossibly stunning, her figure was enough to make a grown man cry and her eyes… I looked away quickly, turning back to the marble floor.

'Those eyes, I don't know what it is but I can tell I shouldn't let myself be drawn in too much.' Womanly charms were common knowledge to most men, to the point where one could eventually see through the bullshit if perceptive enough, but she was different, as if she was on a level incomprehensible to myself. I heard Solace clang against the floor, she had thrown it down the steps so that it rolled until it stopped in front of me.

"From what I've observed, you are quite adept with it, it would be a waste to detach you of it. Now the only question now is how to punish you all, let me ask you what would be suitable punishment for thievery."

I didn't look up to meet his gaze, instead focusing on my own reflection and my own words, I had to choose them carefully. "With respect, I've heard of traditions that say severing a hand is appropriate but as you can see one of my comrades has already paid that price." Poor Ed still lay unconscious on the floor, though now Olivia was beginning to stir. As she came to she looked around to see the same horror I witnessed, we were besieged on all sides by monstrous enemies, all of whom exuded power far greater than our own.

"You are correct," Ainz replied, "though I find myself in quite a conundrum. You see my guardians do not care for humans, not in the slightest, and here come a group of humans seeking to desecrate their home. Do they not deserve justice?"

A bead of sweat rolled down my cheek, "O-Of course they do, lord Ainz."

"So would it not be fitting as their master, for me to carry out judgement over those that disrespect my subjects, no, my family." His words were bitter shards of ice striking at my spirit.

"It is as you wish my lord, your word is law as king is it not?" I was running out of rope and I didn't like my chances as more time passed.

"Indeed, but since your manners are so good, I'm willing to give you a chance to defend yourself and your team." He stood, showing me just how much I dwarfed him, not in height but in stature, his will and power cast across the entire hall. "Pick up your lance, if you can manage a single blow, I may just spar their lives."

"I will not." I didn't hesitate with my response, and this time I did look up to face him. The crowd of his followers behind him roared at my defiance, I heard different things ranging from decapitation to disembowelment as punishment for my remark. "I believe you know that I cannot harm you, and that even if I did you would probably still kill us to satisfy the wishes of your people. All I could foolishly and selfishly ask is if you would spare at least one of their lives."

'I know he was the voice I heard during my fight with those maids, if he can put me down with a simple command then I won't waste my time as his plaything.'

Ainz ran a skeletal hand over his chin in contemplation, "So you are not as dumb as your companions there, that is good. We could have need for a human component in the machinations of Nazarick. Swear your fealty, take the lives of these trespassers and take your place in my ranks. You have good combat skills and you seem to have good vocal acumen. You asked to spare one life, I have chosen yours."

I looked at the eyes that looked back at me, how they held no pity, no remorse, and then I made sure to kill them fast enough that they wouldn't notice. I stood there in front of Olivia, blood dripping from the end of my lance, her face was trapped in time, a look of shock, sorrow, and betrayal on her face as her head fell from her shoulders. Watching the blood pool around my feet, I still didn't notice the glowing gem that radiated after the slaughter, nor the way Ainz looked intently at it.

"Very good, you're lack of hesitation pleases me." He tossed me a ring. "You will guard the outside surrounding Nazarick, you will not enter the tomb unless given permission by the 1st floor guardian, you will need the blessing of each floor guardian to access their level. Food and water will be provided to you at the discretion of the guardians, so I hope you are good at hunting your own food. This ring will allow you to remain undetected from anyone not an inhabitant of Nazarick, the Pleiades will show you to your post, you are already acquainted with each other."

The blonde I had taken a swing at earlier was next to me in seconds, the rest of the maids were along quickly after. They didn't guide me along, they literally carried me across the hall, I was too tired to fight back until I was eventually thrown face first into the dirt, I was back outside. Solace landed next to me, I picked it up and used it to get my balance so I could stand. When I turned back, I was alone, the maids were gone and I was left to stand guard at the entrance.

'They'd kill me if I left.' I put the ring on and stood at the steps, waiting for either someone to come along, an animal to cross my path, or the least likely, a meal to come from inside the tomb.