DISCLAIMER: Bruno firkin Heller created The Mentalist, CBS is the network, and Warner Bros. owns it. I wish I owned it. Sigh.
A/N: Brief one-shot from Lisbon's perspective after he killed Red John – her reaction to the phone call, basically. It's short and a little painful, but I just thought HOLY CRAP LISBON WOULD BE SO UPSET AT THIS POINT and I just had to write it. It's my first published TM fic, so hopefully it goes over well. I'll probably edit and add to it over time, especially if anyone has any suggestions.
That's all, continue on.
I'm gonna miss you
Lisbon's phone rang. She slowly turned to look at it, lips parted, about to form his name.
Lisbon stared. She knew who it was. Her heart was pounding in her chest, fluttering nervously, watching that phone vibrate in the plastic bag.
Jane, she thought, He's done it. It's over.
She had mixed feelings about that.
The FBI agent guarding them was staring intently at her. She moved forward to ask if she could answer, but he cut her off, "Don't even think about it."
She closed her mouth. The rest of the team shifted their eyes between the table and Lisbon.
Trying to appear nonchalant, she sighed rather unevenly and looked away. Restless, she turned back to the window, gazing out while sipping coffee. Her emotions were a mess. There were butterflies inside her, fighting to escape, fighting to run. She thought that if she focused hard enough she could spot him through the window. Or rather, wished she could.
Where was he? How had he done it? Where was he going?
Panic seized her. Where was he going?
She knew Jane inside and out. He wasn't going to stick around. Not anymore. He had done what he'd set out to do nearly a decade ago, and with the FBI after him, he certainly wasn't hanging around here anymore. Not with the CBI disbanded and a warrant out for his arrest. Not when being around her would get her in even more trouble. He'd run. He'd run far away. Again.
Her heart sank, pounding with panic. The butterflies fought harder than ever. Jane, she thought again, pursing her lips together. She tried to take a deep breath, but it caught in her throat, so she closed her mouth again, breathing shallowly. She had never realized how much she'd come to depend on him. Now she might never see him again.
Her heart dropped even further. Don't go, she thought, staring out the window. She was surprised at the quiet thought, on the brink of her subconscious: Not without me. She clenched her fists in her pockets. Surely he would try to talk to her in person before leaving?
No, maybe not. He had done this before.
Closing her eyes in distress, she could only hold down her fears and wait.
They were kept under lockdown in the empty CBI all day, and no one would explain anything, especially not when they asked.
Finally, FBI Agent Abbott reappeared. They didn't speak to him and he didn't speak to them. There was nothing to say. He handed the bag of their cell phones back to Lisbon, who opened it with shaking fingers and retrieved their phones, passing them to the team.
Lisbon had to fight not to scramble from the old CBI building. She had to resist the urge to immediately call Jane. She had to resist or they would know. Instead, she tried to appear relaxed. It was one of the hardest things she'd ever had to do. She would not give up Jane.
"You're all released," Abbott said.
"What about Jane?" Cho asked.
The others looked attentively at Abbott.
"Patrick Jane is… no where to be found," Abbott said reluctantly. "We found Sheriff McAlister and two others, including Gale Bertram, dead at the chapel in the cemetery. It seems he was working on his own in the end. After all, you couldn't have helped him," his eyes flickered to Lisbon. "You were in here all day."
"Right," Lisbon said blandly. Three people dead, she thought, Jane, what did you do?
"However," he said, and Lisbon glared warily at him. "If any of you have information on him, and you'd like to share, we're willing to put a note in your file that you helped us capture a dangerous fugitive, clear some… charges. They will be already be a note that you helped a known fugitive," he added casually.
No one responded to this.
Rigsby put his hands in his pockets, standing close to Grace, who kept a deadpan express. Cho folded his arms. Lisbon clenched her phone inside her pocket.
"No?" Abbott sounded disappointed. "Alright then. You can go."
Together, they turned and left at a decidedly relaxed pace. "Agent Lisbon," Abbott called. The team paused, looking back. "Give your boyfriend my best."
Lisbon clenched her jaw and ignored him.
They left the building together. When they were in the parking garage, the team descended on her.
"Boss, did Jane call?"
"Where is he?"
"That was Jane calling earlier, wasn't it?"
She waved her hands pensively at them, "Everyone calm down!" They quieted immediately. She closed her eyes for a moment. "I'm not gonna talk about it here. Too many chances we're being overheard. We'll go to my place."
She arrived first, and for a reason. She immediately pulled out her phone, breathing hard. There was a missed call and a voicemail from an unknown number.
Jane.
She wanted to listen to it first. Alone.
"Lisbon."
Jane's voice. He sounded out of breath; there was an indescribable emotion in his voice. Relief? Fear? Uncertainty? Confusion? Warmth, and something cold, distant? All of the above? There was a dark, lost and broken note in his voice that she couldn't quite place - and it broke her heart.
"It's over. It's done. It just want you to know I'm okay." She felt warm at that, relieved, but afraid, heart pounding and screaming at the same time. There was a pause. "And I'm gonna miss you." His voice broken, becoming breathy at the end. She could practically see his scrunched, pained expression. Her heart skipped a beat.
Something inside her shattered. She closed her eyes against the pain.
Silence. The automated voice came a moment later. She hit replay without thinking and immediately regretted it.
Where are you? Where are you going? she thought desperately.
It was at that moment that the team arrived. They began to speak, but stopped at the expression on her face. Grace came forward and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Play it, boss," she said quietly. Lisbon hit replay again and put it on speaker.
Jane's voice seemed to echo. "Lisbon. It's over. It's done. I just want you to know I'm okay. And I'm gonna miss you."
Silence followed.
There wasn't much to discuss. "I guess he did it," Cho said, face slack, dumbfounded.
Wayne and Grace exchanged unreadable expressions.
"Look, I…" Lisbon trailed off. "I'm gonna try and track him down, and I don't want any of you to get in anymore trouble - "
"If there's anything we can do, we'll help," Grace said immediately. "Keep in touch, okay, boss?"
Lisbon nodded numbly. "I'll talk to you guys later, okay? I need to…"
They all nodded. Grace and Wayne hugged her. Cho gave her a sympathetic expression and briefly squeezed her shoulder.
When they were gone, Lisbon played the voicemail again.
"Lisbon. It's over. It's done. I just want you to know I'm okay. And I'm gonna miss you."
Lisbon drew a shaky breath. "Jane..." she said quietly.
I miss you, too.
I'M SUCH A SUCKER FOR PAIN. I AM A MASOCHIST. I'M SORRY.
I should write more of these.
R&R, please!
~Anevay