The morning light crawls through the window illuminating the otherwise dark bedroom. An alarm clock sounds off as a scrawny teenager rolls over in bed. After snoozing the alarm he wipes his tired eyes, preparing to take on yet another day. Running his hands through his greasy black hair Sheldon finds himself in the bathroom looking at himself in the mirror. He brushed his teeth and combed his hair. While heading to his closet to grab his usual attire he couldn't help but stop and look at the photos he had taped to the door. All of them beautiful. Who would have thought that a sentient blue robot could have been the won to have stolen his heart? Rifling through his wardrobe he began to mumble to himself.
"Oh Jenny, my sweet angel. Christmas is tomorrow, and I can't help but feel that no matter what nothing I get will make me happy, because nothing would make me happier than having you under my tree."
Then he got an idea. An awful idea. Sheldon got a wonderful, awful idea.
As he sifted through a sock pile trying to find the least crusty pair he owned Sheldon's brain raced, impressed with his own genius. He began typing away furiously at his computer, working on the project that will truly win over the love of his life, Jenny Wakeman.
Waking up at a battery recharge station XJ-9 greets the world with a smile. Christmas is tomorrow! The spirit of giving made this by far her favorite time of year. The blue robot elegantly makes her way to jack in to her PC to check all of her messages left from her night offline. Plugging the jack into her cranial cavity she begins to check for notifications. Scrolling through her email she quickly deletes all the likely spam. Her mother Nora never let her live it down the last time she sent cash to a Nigerian prince. Suddenly a new email popped up in her email.
"Free Fortnite V-bucks" She read aloud. "Oh how perfect! Brad loves playing that game! This would be a perfect gift for him! He's always telling me how he won't be able to get any better at playing the game without v-bucks."
As she scanned the email she suddenly felt nauseous. Something had gone wrong. Her eyes suddenly faded. Before she knew it she had lost consciousness. Through no force of her own Jenny unplugged herself and began towards the door. Opening the front door Brad and Tuck were outside, apparently waiting for her.
"Uh hiya Jen," Brad announced. "You must be so excited for Christmas this year right?"
Without even noticing the brothers Jenny walked straight passed without a word. She made her way down the street leaving the Carbunkles to wonder what had gotten in to her.
"Woah something must have crawled up her butt this morning" Tuck claimed.
His brother punched him on the shoulder.
"Cut that out" Brad said with a demeaning tone. "How about we check and see what went down?"
The two went inside the house and were greeted by Nora Wakeman.
"Merry Christmas Eve boys! Care for some cocoa?"
"No thanks Mrs. Wakeman. Do you have any idea what's up with Jenny?"
"I didn't even have time to notice, I was busy working on an experiment and didn't realize she had left the house."
"Maybe she had a bad dream" offered Tuck.
"Don't be ridiculous" Nora replied. "Robots can't dream, they don't have a conscious when they are offline. She's probably just getting a visit from her uncle Edison."
"Wait you built a robot that can have a peri-"
Tuck was quickly cut off by a swift back hand from his brother.
"We don't ever talk about the gross things that women do you know that! We are men and will talk like men! Got it!?"
Tuck simply whimpered and nodded. Nora gestured to the brothers to follow her into Jenny's bedroom. She began investigating her computer to try and find a solution to the problem.
"Oh I swear if she responded to another one of those Nigerian scams. Those dirty people are always trying to get their hands my daughter! My genius!"
"W-w-wait look at that!" Interrupted Brad. "Free V-bucks! I can't believe she got so lucky! She doesn't even play that game!"
Nora skims over the email, blatantly covered with virus links and spam. Without announcing her plan she begins analyzing the message to find its origins all while Brad anxiously explains to Tuck the importance of V-bucks in the modern day gaming community.
"Bingo! Got it!" Nora exclaims. "I've tracked the email back to its origins, this address is only a stone's throw away from here."
"Isn't that Sheldon's house?" Brad pointed out.
The three of them felt nauseous at the thought of the greasy haired boy. Who knows what he could be doing with Jenny? Brad sighed as he went to the door.
"Let's go Tuck we've gotta take care of this." announced Brad.
The two left the house, Nora returned to her work knowing all too well of the ass kicking that was about to be delivered. The Carbunkles arrived at the dingy property and began to knock on the door. Brad began to shout.
"Sheldon come on out! We know you're in there! What did you do to Jenny?"
No response came from inside. Brad grabbed at the door knob trying to open the locked door. Aggravated he let go to think of a new plan. At that moment Tuck jammed a hair pin and turned the tumbler that kept the door safely locked. Brad looked down at his brother.
"Oh look at that. We've got a big man on campus huh? You think you're so hot I could pound you into the ground and no one would bat an eye. Keep quiet."
The two went inside, the sound of wind cutting through the air as a paint can tied to a rope came down and smashed Brad in the jaw.
"GAW WHAT THE FUCK?"
Holding his busted jaw the taller brother looked up and saw a grease stain at the top of the stairs. He quickly ran up the stairs. Ripping up the carpet Brad stormed into a room. What he saw was absolutely abominable. Lying on the floor was a sweaty teenage boy in nothing but his underwear holding a metallic princess in his arms, shivering.
"Leave us alone!" Shouted Sheldon. "W-who do you think you are trying to get in the way of true love!?"
"You busted my jaw with your dumbass Home Alone gag!"
The tension in the air was suddenly cut by the sound of bells. Jingle bells. Before anyone could react, a loud thud was heard from the living room downstairs. Peaking their heads out of the room they saw a shadow standing in the room. Making their way down the trio were in awe. The room was filled with a holy glow that illuminated the otherwise dingy home. The large round man coated in red laughed merrily.
"No way" muttered Brad, "He's real... Santa is real!"
Sheldon quickly ran over to the man in red, cowering behind him.
"Santa please you've gotta help me! These naughty children are trying to hurt me!"
Santa patted the greasy head of the teenage boy and began to speak while immediately wiping his hand off on the couch behind him.
"My boy that little predicament is exactly why I'm here. You've been very very naughty Sheldon. You have committed fraud which is an offense punishable by law. Not to mention your sick twisted methods of finding love, as well as that other thing you do with your... discharges."
"It's called recycling Santa it's good for the body" remarked Sheldon with an offended look on his face.
"The point still stands," replied Santa, "You've been a bad boy and I am here to personally kick your ass straight."
Before he could retaliate Santa through Sheldon against the wall and punched him in the kidney. Falling to the ground Sheldon's side was used as a door mat against the big black boot belonging to Claus. The ass beating was so realistic and brutal the animators didn't know how to do it in the shows style so they just cut away to Brad and Tuck cheering Santa on as he delivered a snow plow piledriver. Upstairs Jenny finally regains consciousness. Being a robot, she has no sense of smell and yet she still found her senses to be offended by the stench of the room. She quickly made her way downstairs to see what all the commotion was about. She was quick to make out exactly what happened to lead to this course of events.
"Sheldon infected me with another virus, didn't he?"
"Sheldon infected you with another virus again," answered Brad.
The two laughed as Santa manhandled the scrawny greaseball of a man. From outside the house we see the sun setting, implying that this wicked ass beating was an all-day event. Outside Jenny and the Carbunkles were waiting patiently. Santa emerges from the front door wiping beads of sweat off his brow.
"Oh ho ho," Santa announced "That was a good beat down"
"Not that we don't appreciate you doing this for us Santa," replied Brad "But don't you have to get going? It's almost Christmas and there are a lot of kids waiting for presents"
"You're right!" Shouted Santa "I got caught up in the holiday spirit and lost track of time! Oh and here, these presents are for you, you have been good boys and girls, except for you Tuck. Try not to be so much of a smart-ass next year y'hear?"
Santa dug in his sack and handed Jenny and Brad presents. He leaped to the roof and got in his sleigh. With a crack of his reigns the reindeer all took off. The robot girl waved.
"Goodbye Santa! It was nice meeting you! I promise to always be a good girl!"
The sound of jingle bells and Santa's laughter filled the night sky. The sleigh cruised off into the horizon as snow began to fall. To everyone in Tremorton, a very Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.