[u][i]Death From Above[/i][/u]
*****
[i]Using this bio-shift intitatior has been the most fun I've had since I talked Jodie and Brittany into coming over this past summer and playing 'ice cream parlor',[/i] Tom Sloane smirked, watching from his perch on the telephone reciever in the Morgendorffer master bedroom. From his vantage point on the nightstand, he smirked as he watched Helen and Jake Morgendorffer thrash about in bed, both shrieking as they ground wildly against one another.
[i]Wow... it's like watching giants screw on a neighboring mountain pass.[/i]
[i]Of course it would be - after all, I'm only the size of a microdot fight now. [/i]
The wrist-mounted invention that he wore, created by his eccentric (no, just weird) but horrifyingly intelligent roommate Maurice - who was taking three majors at once, and acing all of them - allowed Tom to not only fly, but shrink down to the size of a microdot. He had spent the week of Thanksgiving vacation looking in on various former classmates, attractive women, and other people in a manner that would have made Charles Ruttheimer envious beyond belief...
The device also had a special video setup built in that allowed it to film events around the wearer as if her were full size.
[i]Man, look at those bad boys that Mrs. Morgendorffer's sporting - that's [u][i]gotta[/i][/u] be a solid 36C easy, and God, [u]there's no sag there whatsoever[/u]! She's got a [u]way[/u] better set of sweater puppies than Daria and Quinn combined - Holy Mother of God, no wonder she's stayed with him all of these years - [u]oh, no.[/u][/i]
Helen had fallen away from Jake just as an strained sound of near-agony slipped from his lips; Tom looked up as the light in the room seemed to be blotted out by a ... Watching helplessly as the gigantic mass that had suddenly appeared grew impossibly larger and larger as it filled the sky above him, he looked at the display on the initiatior and knew that he could neither resize himself or fly away in time...
[i]Oh, crap. Well - not quite.[/i]
*****
"Jake! Be careful - it went over on the phone reciever!"
"I'm SORRY, Helen! The way you pulled away - why are we even worried about this, anyway, and why do we have to practice the rhythm method of birth control? Why can't we just wear a condom?"
"Because I'm NOT paying those kinds of prices for condoms that can fit you, Jake," Helen said, pulling a sheet around her as she sat up in bed. "The Rhythm method is good for us. It allows us to fully enjoy ourselves without any barriers between our bodies while helping us to enhance our collective sense of self-control - and besides, in another week, we won't have to worry about it."
"Well, why couldn't we just WAIT, Helen?"
"JAKE! I didn't want to wait, all right? Now, would you PLEASE clean that off the phone reciever - there's a box of tissues right over there!
-FIN-
10 January 2009