Panicking Is Overrated: A Dragon Age SI
Chapter 1
AN:Bloody Mass Vexations. Putting ideas in my head. Darn you! Still let's hope I can do something readable for once!
Disclaimer. I own very little. Including the Dragon Age IP. But just so ya' know. Dragon Age belongs to Bioware. I only own the characters created for this Fic.
The thing about being unconscious is that it can be quite a bit like sleep. Unlike sleep however you often end up with the kind of headache that can split mountains. Oh, and sometimes you'll end up waking up in a place that, for whatever reason, isn't all that familiar.
Like damp soil for instance. Perhaps even the stuff I found myself peeling off of. My eyes snapped open and I tried to shift around, looking for some idea of where I was. Sunlight streamed in from between the leaves on trees, birds chirped an allegedly merry tune. I didn't feel particularly merry though. I clambered off of the soil, bits clung to my skin and the dressing gown I was wearing. I managed to rub a large quantity of dirt off of my face. I looked around. When I went to sleep last night I was in my bed. Now I wasn't. I must have resembled a rabbit caught by a fox. I saw that I was in some kind of forest. The chirping birds and very tall trees gave it away. I didn't feel particular clever for finding out that I somehow ended up in a bloody forest of all places.
"Bugger" I said to myself, trying to calm down.
No shit, I thought to myself. At this point I started to panic with thoughts of where I was and how exactly I got there. Somehow, I thought, somehow despite the fact I can't remember touching or being of an age to drink alcohol, I must have gone on some kind of massive monopoly crawl type bender and then maybe I crawled over to that soil pile to fall into a drunken sleep. Yeah that was it, there was a problem with that theory. I didn't know anything about alcohol so I couldn't say if that was what would actually happen had I gone on a drunken lord, even my own asinine bullshit couldn't-
"Raaaaaaaugh"!
A roar bellowed out directly in front of me interrupting my thoughts (the inconsiderate bastards). The ground shook and heaved as something, for it could only be a thing, heaved and stomped some distance away. I couldn't see it however and the roar sounded unfamiliar, I couldn't place it. Dread creeped up my spin. Flowery language aside I decided that evidently the best course was to make like a chicken and bolt (bravely of course) as fast as my feet could take me. Which, considering the well rounded bulge of my stomach and the generally unhealthy state of my body (Damn you Walkers Crisps! Stop being so delectable.) wasn't very far. I ran to a nearby cave and panted, out of breath near the mouth of the cave.
"It's alright" I consoled myself " I'm just in some kind of animal enclosure with some kind of roaring Jaguar-Dinosaur-Thing or whatever that thing sounded like" I said with an ironic laugh.
It was then that it hit me.
Somehow I was at least a few miles away from home. With no way to get back. I had no survival skills, frankly I didn't know how to deal with being anywhere but the inside of my bedroom playing video games. Yes, I am a completely sad individual. That meant that in all instances and scenarios I was in the words of many a great man, quite fucked.
I became very sweaty despite the cold. I was panicking, I very practically decided to build a fire. Which was very hard considering I had no idea how to build one. I checked myself over. I was wearing a dark blued dressing gown, along with some thin black boxer shorts. Not very practical for survival in a forest. The cave whispered with the wind gently and I could see the sun darkening and fading into the night like a slowly fading flame. I kept thinking that it was some kind of miracle that this cave wasn't inhabited by some kind of vicious evil breed of mutant rats or something (if they even existed).
I was relatively speaking fine until I heard a kind of gurgling raspy breath. You know what I said early about being fucked? Well, yeah.
Something began to run towards me. It was shaped like a man. That was all I could make out as it savagely tackled me. We tumbled to the ground of the cave. It was trying to viciously claw at my face. I backed up to the wall of the cave and tried to look at my assailant while dodging its hands. I found myself looking at the rotting features of a Darkspawn Hurlock. I couldn't even think about the audacity of the situation, everything blurred while I was trying to dodge this fictional thing's claws to stop him from disfiguring my admittedly already ugly face. I felt too shocked to actually be shocked. His hands snapped at me like a crab, he was trying to grab my face.
I was still on the ground as I flailed about wildly. Something must of clicked in my head because one of my panicked flails ended up punching him in his eyebrow, it must have been a lucky punch because his eyebrow split apart like a puss filled boil. The blood poured everywhere, I was covered in blood. The thing didn't care about the pain and kept trying to reach for my face. Blood dripped from the face of this monstrosity but still it persisted. On pure reflex I quickly moved my head back. I was not pleased when my head banged into the rock wall behind me. I was suddenly very dizzy. Everything seemed muted and muffled and all I wanted to do was sleep. I tried to crawl away but the Darkspawn clawed at my back and tore my dressing gown from my body. My vision was blurred from the blood of the Darkspawn covering my eyes. I kicked and struggled but it didn't help. Suddenly a black blur I couldn't make out tackled the Darkspawn. I heard a sound that was somehow familiar but I couldn't place it. I could suddenly smell burnt flesh. My eyes became heavy. I was dizzier then ever. and then everything was black.
AN2: I wouldn't normally do this but something amazing has come to my attention. I would just like to take a moment of your time to point out an awesome Vidya' Game that needs your money. Consortium is a weird and wonderful mix of Mass Effect, Omikron:the Nomad Soul, and The Last Express. It desperately needs $3000 to reach it's $50'000 goal. projects/idgi/consortium-0